365 days without booze... join me?

[Burwood]

olly22n said:

Welshbeef said:

olly22n said:

No current plans to drink again

This I never get - so never toast a wedding or at a wake of even magical moments simply for a Ill never drink again.

Sure cut right down but never again is pretty hard core + what about the other half? She/he met you at a certain point in your life if you wholesale change is that good?

Go and troll another thread.

Why is he trolling? It may seem it by some on this thread, which I will add I support but to say 'I'm never drinking again' says to me you need help. And not the sort you get from not drinking

[Wilf61]

Burwood said:

Why is he trolling? It may seem it by some on this thread, which I will add I support but to say 'I'm never drinking again' says to me you need help. And not the sort you get from not drinking

Sorry Burwood, I disagree with that.

If you stop smoking ciggies or weed or give up coke/heroin does it mean you need help ?
I recently stopped drinking coffee permanently as it doesn't suit my body, do I need help?

Alcohol is just one of many substances we like to put in our bodies and if olly or others want to stop completely, as I have with other substances, it is a their choice.
There is no duty to drink alcohol at weddings etc.

[Welshbeef]

Wilf61 said:

Sorry Burwood, I disagree with that.

If you stop smoking ciggies or weed or give up coke/heroin does it mean you need help ?
I recently stopped drinking coffee permanently as it doesn't suit my body, do I need help?

Alcohol is just one of many substances we like to put in our bodies and if olly or others want to stop completely, as I have with other substances, it is a their choice.
There is no duty to drink alcohol at weddings etc.

No but the point of never again is the sort of statement a Dr gives a heavy drinker when flagging up your liver is screwed one more drink and you'll kill yourself/liver failure.

Now I'm assuming no one is anywhere close to that on this thread or if you are and have very high blood pressure then maybe not drinking ever again is medically advisable.
To cut it out forever more purely because you can doesn't cut it to me.

Lastly I've personally had countless no drinking nights out and likewise the same if not multiples more of drinking and I can say comfortably so many great lifelong memorable nights have occurred while drinking. For he nights not drinking meh if your out with others who are drinking you end up being the taxi service or end up watching them getting pissed - not the greatest past time.

Anyway it's all about moderation too much you'll regret it stopping totally will change you possibly for the better or not who knows however you'll need to find a pastime to replace it with and as your at X age your friends are in the drinking group so starting a fresh isn't easy

[NorthDave]

Welshbeef said:

No but the point of never again is the sort of statement a Dr gives a heavy drinker when flagging up your liver is screwed one more drink and you'll kill yourself/liver failure.

Now I'm assuming no one is anywhere close to that on this thread or if you are and have very high blood pressure then maybe not drinking ever again is medically advisable.
To cut it out forever more purely because you can doesn't cut it to me.

Lastly I've personally had countless no drinking nights out and likewise the same if not multiples more of drinking and I can say comfortably so many great lifelong memorable nights have occurred while drinking. For he nights not drinking meh if your out with others who are drinking you end up being the taxi service or end up watching them getting pissed - not the greatest past time.

Anyway it's all about moderation too much you'll regret it stopping totally will change you possibly for the better or not who knows however you'll need to find a pastime to replace it with and as your at X age your friends are in the drinking group so starting a fresh isn't easy

You are trolling - although you may not appreciate it.

Some people can't do moderation. If I do something I do it properly. I wasn't an alcoholic or had a problem but it's all or nothing for me. I may not have been addicted to the booze but I was certainly in a rut lifestyle wise. Starting again would just end up with me in a rut.

Fair enough if you are different but given the title and experiences on this thread I dont think it is the right place to be posting about drinking occasionally. You are undermining the support people are giving each other. You have also managed to sum up the fears most people have about stopping - that should put lots of people off trying, well done. I still go out and enjoy myself with the same friends I used to. Sometimes they get st faced and I have a crap time, most times I sit there and join in with the banter. Not drinking does not need to affect friendships.

If I could delete your post I would.

Edited by NorthDave on Saturday 27th February 08:23

[Burwood]

Wilf61 said:

Burwood said:

Why is he trolling? It may seem it by some on this thread, which I will add I support but to say 'I'm never drinking again' says to me you need help. And not the sort you get from not drinking

Sorry Burwood, I disagree with that.

If you stop smoking ciggies or weed or give up coke/heroin does it mean you need help ?
I recently stopped drinking coffee permanently as it doesn't suit my body, do I need help?

Alcohol is just one of many substances we like to put in our bodies and if olly or others want to stop completely, as I have with other substances, it is a their choice.
There is no duty to drink alcohol at weddings etc.

I hear what you're saying to me alcohol is a compliment to occasions and food but I understand it's a lot more to some people. I'm more saying, one can't say 'never again' early on in the process. Good luck with it.

[jmorgan]

Burwood said:

Why is he trolling? It may seem it by some on this thread, which I will add I support but to say 'I'm never drinking again' says to me you need help. And not the sort you get from not drinking

Depends. I decided to do it as it was best for me. It works.

Welshbeef said:

This I never get - so never toast a wedding or at a wake of even magical moments simply for a Ill never drink again.

Absolutely, and if you are in company of anyone that thinks you need booze to toast anything or at a wake, then you are in wrong company. I do not have this problem with the company I keep, people understand my choice.

[FreeLitres]

Can we keep this thread pretty tight on supporting those giving up booze please?

[anonymous-user]

Welshbeef said:

This I never get - so never toast a wedding or at a wake of even magical moments simply for a Ill never drink again.

Sure cut right down but never again is pretty hard core + what about the other half? She/he met you at a certain point in your life if you wholesale change is that good?

For some abstinence is the only real way to control things. I have the experience now of going out to parties and, the other night, a pub session without drinking. Knowing that the conversation wasn't ruined, that we all had a cool time and being able to drive everyone there and back I would be more concerned if I went to a wedding and was worried now about alcohol. It really doesn't matter.

As for wholesale change many in this thread have spoken about the benefits, the changes really are positive, why would any partner not be happy? Quit for a good few months, it's nothing but positive.

[Burwood]

yonex said:

Welshbeef said:

This I never get - so never toast a wedding or at a wake of even magical moments simply for a Ill never drink again.

Sure cut right down but never again is pretty hard core + what about the other half? She/he met you at a certain point in your life if you wholesale change is that good?

For some abstinence is the only real way to control things. I have the experience now of going out to parties and, the other night, a pub session without drinking. Knowing that the conversation wasn't ruined, that we all had a cool time and being able to drive everyone there and back I would be more concerned if I went to a wedding and was worried now about alcohol. It really doesn't matter.

As for wholesale change many in this thread have spoken about the benefits, the changes really are positive, why would any partner not be happy? Quit for a good few months, it's nothing but positive.

Welsh is saying he doesn't get the never again crowd and you are saying what's not to like re quitting for a while.

[anonymous-user]

Burwood said:

Welsh is saying he doesn't get the never again crowd and you are saying what's not to like re quitting for a while.

I actually quit for 3-4 months at a time and have done for 4 years now, I also take October off so roughly 5 months a year. End of the day it's whatever works, I've said all along I'm not sure if I can control it (which obviously means I have a poor relationship with alcohol) and may just quit for longer this time.

Anyway, the point of this thread is not bickering or slagging people off for only lasting 9 days, it's for a bit of moral support. An evening at the pub and other situations where you would always have loads of beer etc are very achievable without. I think this fear is what leads people to think a life as a hermit is the only way without alcohol, which is just nonsense.

Keep going people, you're doing well.

More positives please

[Smitters]

WB is just giving a perspective that lots of people give when told someone (i.e. me) isn't ever drinking again. WB doesn't get it, and nor do lots and lots of people.

Alcohol is so engrained in our society that many people struggle to understand how it's possible to exist without it. For example, how could you toast something without a drink? Surely, the point of a toast is to express a group's opinion, such as "happy wedding day". How does me, personally, holding a glass containing alcohol, in any way alter the sentiment of the toast? How is it made more memorable, or more heartfelt? How do children cope with our sub-standard singing of happy birthday until we all grab a pint of beer and wave it in the air as we sing?

Equally, I've had many memorable nights out where copious amounts of alcohol has been involved. Some would never have happened the way they did without the lubricating influence of alcohol. Sometimes that's a shame, occasionally, the influence is a bad thing, mostly, the alcohol was irrelevant and the evening would have gone that way with or without beer. I would argue though, especially as I get older, more self-confident and know myself a bit better that the reason the nights are good is because of the people and the place, not the beer. Or to put it another, more combative way, if I needed to take a mind-altering, judgement affecting substance in order to enjoy spending time with certain people, I might question why I was spending time with them. Of course I'm being very black and white, but on the whole, my mates are people I'd as soon have breakfast or a cuppa with as a pint or a glass of wine. The meeting of the friend is the important bit to me, not the drinking.

If you're moping in the corner, upset about not being able to drink and begrudging being the taxi service, then quitting drinking probably isn't for you. Here's the difficult to process bit. If you can go out, have a really good time with your mates, drive a few of them home and not drink, then you don't see not drinking as a sacrifice, a hardship, something to suffer. No issue = no moping in the corner.

I would suspect the vast majority of people who have never drunk, drink so rarely as to be essentially tee-total, or decide to quit for good see more positives/upsides/benefits in not drinking than drinking. Only a tiny percentage of people are forced to quit/abstain for real, life-threatening health reasons. Equally, the vast majority of people who drink prefer to do so because they see the upsides and positives in their choice to drink, be it enjoying fine wines, escaping the nagging wife for an hour in the pub or whatever.

The knowing need for help (knowing is a key word there) is a funny one - because the tiny, tiny minority, the people who know they need help, but continue to abuse a substance, whatever it is, really do need help. Maybe cutting back is helpful, maybe identifying and dealing with the issue(s) that are driving someone to abuse a substance is the key, or maybe flat out abstinence is the only way. Whatever the route, I would argue that anyone who has knowingly and consciously decided to stop doing something doesn't need help right now, because they're acting of their own free will, and under control. It's people who can't stop something, even through they know they should that really need help.

Why knowing? Because with alcohol as the obvious example here, lots of people use alcohol in an unhealthy way, but don't accept it's unhealthy. Anyone who has ever said (and meant) "I need a beer", not "I need a cool and refreshing beverage", but "I need a beer", is using alcohol as a tool. Where the line is drawn on that need being OK and being unhealthy is personal.

So, after all that, I don't really think WB is trolling. WB, and others on this thread are just representative of a large portion of society that doesn't get why a smaller portion of society is doing something. Much like I don't get why people like modifying Corsas with bodykits and 15" subwoofers under neon lighting. Doesn't mean it's bad, it just doesn't appeal to me. Live and let live. If anyone reads the whole thread, I think they'd get a better picture of some of the decisions made, but that's not that likely. In the mean time, lets try not to characterise people by tiny aspects of their lives. It's not very nice. Except Audi drivers. They're all tts.

[TheJimi]

Smitters said:

In the mean time, lets try not to characterise people by tiny aspects of their lives. It's not very nice.

This should be in bold, at the start of every thread.

Brilliant sentiment and one I really wish people would abide by - the forums would be a *MUCH* nicer place.

[Smitters]

TheJimi said:

This should be in bold, at the start of every thread.

Brilliant sentiment and one I really wish people would abide by - the forums would be a *MUCH* nicer place.

Thanks. I guess people who spend lots of time in GG and the Lounge only will think PH is a pretty brutal place, where threads that start out innocuous descend into abuse in a matter of posts, never mind a couple of pages. I've been lucky enough to read some awesomely supportive threads - there's one about getting a very ill woman a ride in a Corvette (or possibly another car, the details escape me), one that implied it was literally a life-saver. Real "dust-in-the-room" threads. It gives me a very different perspective on the community here.

[anonymous-user]

People are basically good. Forums tend not to show them in a positive light. Half of the negative comments IMO are just a distraction from the workplace and stress diversion.

[so called]

yonex said:

I actually quit for 3-4 months at a time and have done for 4 years now, I also take October off so roughly 5 months a year. End of the day it's whatever works, ...........

I'm drinking way too much at the moment. Partly due to huge amounts of business travel, loneliness, hotel bars etc.
I found your point about periods of abstainment very interesting, just not sure if (don't think) I can achieve it.

[anonymous-user]

so called said:

I'm drinking way too much at the moment. Partly due to huge amounts of business travel, loneliness, hotel bars etc.
I found your point about periods of abstainment very interesting, just not sure if (don't think) I can achieve it.

I have, and do travel frequently. Mostly medium to long haul flights and once the equipment is actually running there is an awful lot of free time to watch things, it can be very, very dull. I would never drink regardless during work hours as the cost of a mistake is huge but in the evenings I know exactly where you are coming from. Arrive back to the hotel, quick debrief in the bar, which ends up being 2 or 3 then a quick shower and out for dinner. If with the client there's usually a big thing about trying local beer/wine before some expensive whiskey or a.n.other that 'you must try'. Late back, wake up with fuzzy head, feel like st until second or third coffee about 11am. And so it goes on.

Instead of that I now do things a little differently. I use the spare time to go to the gym or pool. If it's a place where there isn't the facilities I run, if it's not safe to run outside I'll find a local gym, no local gym then I guess you're snookered. Generally if you are in the US it's easy. I had to deal with the Ukraine, Russia and some other places which had pretty much nothing, it's just one of those things.

I take the bike everywhere I can. Find local races and/or go on group rides. It's a great way to switch off totally from all the work BS, all I ended up doing was more work half pissed every evening, which then meant spending ages undoing it the next day. Pissed software is great, until you try and use it

You need (I do anyway) a goal to work towards. Forget the money side as most (guessing) of your alcohol is on expenses anyway, besides you never spend what you don't know you have? Weight loss and appearance is a good one, I am 6-7kgs down from January with little else but not drinking, I feel so much better. I also cannot freakin wait to have that pint of Guinness, whenever it happens. This flies in the face of the thread but it's what I like to do. I have to say this year I have given up with the non alcoholic stuff and don't have cravings, I crave training instead. I believe those of us who over-indulge regularly have addictive personalities and it's a case of focusing these addictions on things to balance the really destructive things in life. I like the fact that I can switch it off, I always wonder if I can and as long as these stints continue when I am back to a few beers I wont worry.

Now we're into 8 weeks it's easy. The novelty has worn off and nobody really cares when I go out. Most challenging situations have been met and beaten. It really is purely choice now. I'll miss a few beers at the weekend when the derby game is on (Spurs vs Filth) and this is why I probably will not pack it in completely. I don't want it to get into a daily thing again and if I can't have a few cold ones at the weekend when I feel like it without it creeping then I will stop again. I am not going to feel guilty about my choices but neither am I going to lie to myself if I feel I am taking the proverbial.

I hope you find a balance. One things for sure, quitting for a few months and engaging your body in a bit of constructive exercise will only be of benefit, as long as you are realistic about the activity. I would definitely give it a go. You can do whatever you want, perhaps the challenge is proving yourself wrong?

[so called]

yonex said:

so called said:

I'm drinking way too much at the moment. Partly due to huge amounts of business travel, loneliness, hotel bars etc.
I found your point about periods of abstainment very interesting, just not sure if (don't think) I can achieve it.

I have, and do travel frequently. Mostly medium to long haul flights and once the equipment is actually running there is an awful lot of free time to watch things, it can be very, very dull. I would never drink regardless during work hours as the cost of a mistake is huge but in the evenings I know exactly where you are coming from. Arrive back to the hotel, quick debrief in the bar, which ends up being 2 or 3 then a quick shower and out for dinner. If with the client there's usually a big thing about trying local beer/wine before some expensive whiskey or a.n.other that 'you must try'. Late back, wake up with fuzzy head, feel like st until second or third coffee about 11am. And so it goes on.

Instead of that I now do things a little differently. I use the spare time to go to the gym or pool. If it's a place where there isn't the facilities I run, if it's not safe to run outside I'll find a local gym, no local gym then I guess you're snookered. Generally if you are in the US it's easy. I had to deal with the Ukraine, Russia and some other places which had pretty much nothing, it's just one of those things.

I take the bike everywhere I can. Find local races and/or go on group rides. It's a great way to switch off totally from all the work BS, all I ended up doing was more work half pissed every evening, which then meant spending ages undoing it the next day. Pissed software is great, until you try and use it

You need (I do anyway) a goal to work towards. Forget the money side as most (guessing) of your alcohol is on expenses anyway, besides you never spend what you don't know you have? Weight loss and appearance is a good one, I am 6-7kgs down from January with little else but not drinking, I feel so much better. I also cannot freakin wait to have that pint of Guinness, whenever it happens. This flies in the face of the thread but it's what I like to do. I have to say this year I have given up with the non alcoholic stuff and don't have cravings, I crave training instead. I believe those of us who over-indulge regularly have addictive personalities and it's a case of focusing these addictions on things to balance the really destructive things in life. I like the fact that I can switch it off, I always wonder if I can and as long as these stints continue when I am back to a few beers I wont worry.

Now we're into 8 weeks it's easy. The novelty has worn off and nobody really cares when I go out. Most challenging situations have been met and beaten. It really is purely choice now. I'll miss a few beers at the weekend when the derby game is on (Spurs vs Filth) and this is why I probably will not pack it in completely. I don't want it to get into a daily thing again and if I can't have a few cold ones at the weekend when I feel like it without it creeping then I will stop again. I am not going to feel guilty about my choices but neither am I going to lie to myself if I feel I am taking the proverbial.

I hope you find a balance. One things for sure, quitting for a few months and engaging your body in a bit of constructive exercise will only be of benefit, as long as you are realistic about the activity. I would definitely give it a go. You can do whatever you want, perhaps the challenge is proving yourself wrong?

Thanks for taking the time to explain your position.
Oh Yes to paragraph 1, I could have written that.
I used to go to the gym 5 days per week but then my boss ask me to go figure out why our sales were so poor in the US.
11 years later sales have grown considerably but so has my waist line. I didn't bother with the hotel gym's and didn't see the weight gain until I was about 15kg up. I started using the pools but irregularly.
My boss added India three years ago as my next target market which has doubled my jet lag issues.

I have a dozen excuses ready in my mind every evening when I get to the hotel.

I know I can do it really. I quit smoking 40 a day over night 30 odd years ago. I just need to get the mental attitude right.
Wait loss is my biggest motivation at the moment so I'm going to work on that.

Thanks again.

[foxsasha]

so called said:

Thanks for taking the time to explain your position.
Oh Yes to paragraph 1, I could have written that.
I used to go to the gym 5 days per week but then my boss ask me to go figure out why our sales were so poor in the US.
11 years later sales have grown considerably but so has my waist line. I didn't bother with the hotel gym's and didn't see the weight gain until I was about 15kg up. I started using the pools but irregularly.
My boss added India three years ago as my next target market which has doubled my jet lag issues.

I have a dozen excuses ready in my mind every evening when I get to the hotel.

I know I can do it really. I quit smoking 40 a day over night 30 odd years ago. I just need to get the mental attitude right.
Wait loss is my biggest motivation at the moment so I'm going to work on that.

Thanks again.

You'll never stop until you stop. If you stop but then drink again after a few days then try again. And again, and again. Don't stop stopping. The usual reaction to falling off any sort of wagon just once is to write the whole exercise off as a total loss. One curry after a few weeks of dieting is a blip, not a complete failure. Get back on it. One night of beer after two weeks without is a blip, just start again the next day.

One things for sure, you'll never get on the wagon unless you take the first step. Good luck

[FreeLitres]

1.5 years since my last drink.

That's me dry during 2 Christmas days, 2 of my birthdays, lots of other peoples birthdays, works do's, 15+ international business trips, social get togethers, etc. That's a lot of booze I would have had if i hadn't of joined this challenge!

Next stop: 2 years.

[so called]

foxsasha said:

You'll never stop until you stop. If you stop but then drink again after a few days then try again. And again, and again. Don't stop stopping. The usual reaction to falling off any sort of wagon just once is to write the whole exercise off as a total loss. One curry after a few weeks of dieting is a blip, not a complete failure. Get back on it. One night of beer after two weeks without is a blip, just start again the next day.

One things for sure, you'll never get on the wagon unless you take the first step. Good luck

I understand what your saying.
Picked the wrong time for this, its the Companies Global Sales Conference all next week. Biggest booze up of the year.