Depression

[V40Vinnie]

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

[Ruskie]

V40Vinnie said:

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

[V40Vinnie]

Ruskie said:

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

Ruskie ! you've been missed!

[Derek Smith]

TheExcession said:

Derek Smith said:

My psychologist was very helpful in the matter. I won't go into what he said, or the methods he used, but I can see now why he said what he did.

I've been reading your posts for years Derek, I'm sure that I am not alone in stating I would really appreciate a bit of insight into what went on.

Thanks

It's all a bit personal, going in quite deep. There's a PM.

[zarjaz1991]

V40Vinnie said:

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

Keep going. Keep buggering on. There are bad days but there will be good days too.
You are not suffering alone, you will get through this. It does get better.
It isn't a quick fix but it does get better.

Don't be scared. The show must go on!

[WinstonWolf]

Ruskie said:

V40Vinnie said:

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

Glad you're back, I heard something that worried me.

[Ruskie]

V40Vinnie said:

Ruskie said:

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

Ruskie ! you've been missed!

Still here, still fighting!

[Ruskie]

WinstonWolf said:

Ruskie said:

V40Vinnie said:

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

Glad you're back, I heard something that worried me.

Ahhh I know what you are referring to (I think). Very close to the bone for me and difficult to take,

[WinstonWolf]

Ruskie said:

WinstonWolf said:

Ruskie said:

V40Vinnie said:

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

Glad you're back, I heard something that worried me.

Ahhh I know what you are referring to (I think). Very close to the bone for me and difficult to take,

Yeah, sounds like the same thing, very glad it's not you! You're not alone

[andy-xr]

V40Vinnie said:

First day back at work today since I started treatment, I feel like ive gone backwards. I know its teenager-y to say this but it was quiet at work so i spent the entire day inside my own head beating my self up and generally hating myself. I'm struggling here guys

Hi

Earlier in the thread I said this, so rather than typing it out again, here it is

me earlier said:

There'll be some startup side effects. You might feel like a zombie for a bit. You might be jittery as fk. You might also feel worse while you start up on them. All that will pass as your body gets used to what you're putting in it. You might feel that it's too much to handle, but the flip side is you cant carry on as you were - that's proven not to be working for you.

The Ads you start on might not be the ones you finish up on. For many people they go through a few different types, and the Doc doesnt know how you're going to react to each one. You need to work together to find the one that works best for you. Be as open about what's good and whats not when you go back.

I really think this is what you're going through.

They're *just* start up side effects. You might feel worse before you feel better. Or you might feel different before you get better

Try and give the pills some time to start doing their thing. If it helps, the other option is to do nothing, and that doesnt work either so it's worth a go

[V40Vinnie]

Felt great today, good results at work nice and busy which meant i didn't get any time to think. Sadly, Ive just found out that a friend died yesterday in a collision in Tamworth. That doesnt feel real. I know i hadnt seen him for a while but

[Joscal]

Guys you have my complete sympathy I posted earlier in this thread about my experiences, citalopram worked for me and I've been off them for ages now so stick with them although it wasn't fun coming off them.

Walking really helped me too, it sounds really simple but we are 'designed' to walk and very few of us actually do!

The thing that helped me the most is meditation which amazes me as a would have laughed at the very thought of it before but my Dr suggested it and I bought a book and found it made a lot of sense.

Just wanted to put this here again as proof that you can and will get better.

Good luck

[garythesign]

V40Vinnie said:

Felt great today, good results at work nice and busy which meant i didn't get any time to think. Sadly, Ive just found out that a friend died yesterday in a collision in Tamworth. That doesnt feel real. I know i hadnt seen him for a while but

I think the ups and downs are just a part of living with depression.

actually, life is full of ups and downs and we just take the downs in our stride. When sufferering with depression it's just that the downs seem so low. With our mindset we think they are never going to end and we end up in a downward spiral

I uses to take Citalapram and it worked well for me

[xjay1337]

Ruskie said:

I struggle going to work every single day. I'm about to start a 12 hour night shift and I'm dreading it. I'm very low currently with a new level of apathy about everything. Literally get no enjoyment out of anything.

Honestly, things will get better.
Keep strong. We are all here for you (and each other).

[Brave Fart]

I've just dipped in to the last few pages of this thread out of curiosity. I often find PH a disappointing mixture of name calling, ignorance, pedantry and general rudeness.
The posts on here are the opposite of all that. Kind of restores my faith in this place a little bit. Keep up the good work!

[RDMcG]

Derek Smith said:

I went to see a psychiatrist to see if I was capable to giving evidence, or rather understanding the oath.

During the initial chat he said I had clinical depression. I corrected him and told him that I had been diagnosed by two different brain doctors as suffering from PTSD. We then chatted about the various symptoms.

He was of the opinion that labels are convenient but in practice rather pointless. Symptoms were the thing and someone suffering from what is diagnosed at PTSD can display symptoms of clinical depression, and vice versa. He reckoned that he'd support either diagnosis for me but would be unable to justify why he had picked one over the other.

'Labels are handy for those who are writing with the hope of being published. For those working with patients, they are a nothing more than a handy hook to hang things on.'

When writing the report he asked which illness I would prefer. I actually laughed with enjoyment, the first time I'd done that for some time.

Have seen you post on all kinds of stuff and you have always been constructive; your posts here continue to be helpful, for what its worth.
There really are a lot of good people on PH. Its easy to get diverted by the occasional noisy or destructive person, but it is so good to find the balance. I know that simple labels are meaningless. My own approach since my youth is that if ti doesn't matter in a year's time, it doesn't matter now. I have shed all the short term stuff.

Not for everyone but it works for me.

[CubanPete]

The Black dog walks at night..

Not so much depression for me, but anxiety. I have often been a worrier, and generally pretty good with things, but when I have a lot on it can be a bit overwhelming. Years on engineering have taught me to look at how things might go wrong!


Time to pull out the CBT stuff and do some rationalising...

[grumbledoak]

Brave Fart said:

I've just dipped in to the last few pages of this thread out of curiosity. I often find PH a disappointing mixture of name calling, ignorance, pedantry and general rudeness.
The posts on here are the opposite of all that. Kind of restores my faith in this place a little bit. Keep up the good work!

Patronising tt.

[227bhp]

oldbanger said:

227bhp said:

Your posts are very rushed and difficult to understand, so much so they're practically pointless. I think you forget you're addressing normal people here.

Ideation
PTSD
DSM
ICD

Wtf?

I'm sure there is lots of useful information in there, you just can't convey it in an understandable manner.

Suicidal ideation - suicidal thoughts without the wish to go through with it
PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder - a problem of processing traumatic events such as serious accidents, violence etc, where your brain struggles to reset itself back to standard operating mode
DSM and ICD are diagnostic manuals. The DSM is considered the global (?) standard for symptom checklists - if you meet x many of them then you can be diagnosed with y disorder. It's quite rigid/prescriptive and often used as a useful guideline rather than being the absolute last word.

Thanks for that, i'll apply it back whence it came.
My comments were probably a bit harsh, but it was from frustration. It's always good to hear from someone qualified and (I know from experience) that it's easy to lose someone when you talk about things which are your normal every day life, but not other peoples.

Edited by 227bhp on Monday 23 January 11:31

[227bhp]

grumbledoak said:

Brave Fart said:

I've just dipped in to the last few pages of this thread out of curiosity. I often find PH a disappointing mixture of name calling, ignorance, pedantry and general rudeness.
The posts on here are the opposite of all that. Kind of restores my faith in this place a little bit. Keep up the good work!

Patronising tt.

A bit harsh maybe? There is some genuine kindness and empathy on here. I know sometimes a debate can get a bit fruity or even descend into an argument from time to time, but i'm sure you can convey yourself without simply name calling and swearing, we don't really want that here.

The only thing missing on this thread is some manners I think. Not many people seem to recognise you've just spent your valuable time trying to help an unknown random stranger. A little thanks now and again wouldn't go amiss, unless depression makes you lose your manners?

Edited by 227bhp on Monday 23 January 11:27