Discussion
crazy about cars said:
Ruskie said:
Not having a good week. Relationship is at breaking point again. Spent two full days in bed as I couldn't think of one good reason to get up. Complete apathy about everything. I know I need to do more but I can't bring myself to do it.
Slowly but surely I am removing the things that make me angry or change my emotions. I have cut alcohol completely, PS3 (Gets me angry) and Facebook.
Perhaps my problems are not as serious but I do understand the feeling. I wish I have someone to talk to besides myself and people on the internet but now even the missus leaves me alone (I don't blame her though!)Slowly but surely I am removing the things that make me angry or change my emotions. I have cut alcohol completely, PS3 (Gets me angry) and Facebook.
Good point about alcohol, I think I really need to control my consumption. I've been using alcohol as an excuse lately to forget.
crazy about cars said:
longshot said:
That pretty much covers it for me.
I'm coming to the end of a Cognitive behavioural therapy course that, to be honest, I've got very little from.
Each week I hope it will be the day that they pull out the big guns that will make a difference but all you get is a few tricks to take your mind off things.
In the last session she explained to me how worrying doesn't achieve anything so I shouldn't do it.
I now have a new worry. That after waiting 6 months for this therapy, it will have solved nothing and I will be thrown back into the wilderness.
I've completed my CGT last year. I did learn from it but in the end I really long for some kind of ongoing professional support.I'm coming to the end of a Cognitive behavioural therapy course that, to be honest, I've got very little from.
Each week I hope it will be the day that they pull out the big guns that will make a difference but all you get is a few tricks to take your mind off things.
In the last session she explained to me how worrying doesn't achieve anything so I shouldn't do it.
I now have a new worry. That after waiting 6 months for this therapy, it will have solved nothing and I will be thrown back into the wilderness.
It would be nice to be able to afford a psychologist, the kind that you lie on a chair and tell him/her your problems.
A bit sad to say this perhaps but by sharing with people with similar experience in this thread does help improve things for me.
crazy about cars said:
Ruskie said:
If you really want to help me then lend me your M3 for a week please
Don't mind that if it helps matey! Unfortunately I'm selling the M3 soon though 
Just waiting to see if I can get a good deal and it's being p/x for something more sensible.Be interested in others experiences of meds.
Been on them for 10 weeks approx. I feel completely and utterly apathetic to everything and everyone. No joy, no sadness just apathy. I understand the tablets are there to smooth out the mood swings and the highs and lows but now I have no highs!! Normally I am hornier than a teenager but that has eased off as well which again is a side effect.
Been on them for 10 weeks approx. I feel completely and utterly apathetic to everything and everyone. No joy, no sadness just apathy. I understand the tablets are there to smooth out the mood swings and the highs and lows but now I have no highs!! Normally I am hornier than a teenager but that has eased off as well which again is a side effect.
Petrolhead95 said:
Since last posting I've had a good few weeks, only had a couple of down days. I was/am desperate to avoid medical help and try to go at it alone which has so far worked with a bit of will power. I've managed to cut all the negative crap out of my life and have kept myself occupied which has helped massively.
I know "Cool story, bro" etc, I just feel really proud of myself.
Good to hear some positivity. I tried to do what you have done for many years but it becomes exhausting eventually. I found wearing a 'mask' around others became harder and harder before I reached a point where I could no longer face doing it.I know "Cool story, bro" etc, I just feel really proud of myself.
r1tey said:
I'd like to add to this I work as a support worker in mental health and have been signed off for a few weeks now due to anxiety/depression. I ended up feeling lower than I ever have this weekend and doing something I really never wanted to do which was attending A&E they gave me diazepam for a couple of days and told me to visit my GP today who gave me mirtazapine.
Obviously there are circumstances behind all this mainly relationship issues which need addressing but the diazepam helped a lot last night and having the mirtazapine there is helping although I am going to try and do it without them.
I suppose my main point is I never thought I could feel as low as I did (suicidal) and because of my job I believed my visit to A&E would be useless but I had no other choice and it turned out to be quite beneficial as they spoke to me alone and then me and my partner.
I've also tried CBT and counselling, the CBT didn't work for me but the counselling (if you find the right counsellor) can help, also the Samaritans have helped.
Mental Health in my opinion is very poorly managed by the NHS and needs huge improvements.
Speaking as a Paramedic I concur wholly. The care given is poor but it is changing slowly.Obviously there are circumstances behind all this mainly relationship issues which need addressing but the diazepam helped a lot last night and having the mirtazapine there is helping although I am going to try and do it without them.
I suppose my main point is I never thought I could feel as low as I did (suicidal) and because of my job I believed my visit to A&E would be useless but I had no other choice and it turned out to be quite beneficial as they spoke to me alone and then me and my partner.
I've also tried CBT and counselling, the CBT didn't work for me but the counselling (if you find the right counsellor) can help, also the Samaritans have helped.
Mental Health in my opinion is very poorly managed by the NHS and needs huge improvements.
The main problem is in the vast majority of suicide attempts (in my experience) alcohol is a factor and as such mental health teams aren't interested. Patient sobers up and leaves hospital without addressing the original issue.
I have dealt with many genuine suicide attempts in my career and the genuine ones are very difficult and traumatic to deal with. They never get easier.
Prof Prolapse said:
DJRC said:
Did you not see my lighthearted reply to Dig last page?
To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
No I didn't see it. To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
I think the medical side becomes relevant if you wish to receive help. As you know depression and bipolar disorder are very different illnesses, and despite sharing symptoms, they require different treatment and coping mechanisms.
I only mention it because I think many people don't have an awareness of what bipolar disorder is, so could easily be misdiagnosed as depression when describing their symptoms. Not you specifically.
drivin_me_nuts said:
When I loom back at the last few years of my life I do see that for a while I had what I would call old depression. The sense of feeling completely consumed and 'heavy' with grief and loss was at times relentless. Iade a conscious choice not to take a medical path but in my own way to let process those aspects that I could, when I could. It became a task of nibbling away at the heaviness and at times what I can only describe as having a head full of mushy overloaded nothingness.
For a while I side stepped around the worst of it. I learned what triggers made it unbearable, made life unbearable and instead worked on reintroducing those parts that made me happy before. Music was one - cheesy songs, happy songs, songs with upbeat rhythms and positive sentiments. I watched films that made e feel good - comedies and light hearted stories...
I became super-tuned to my emotional state. I was also mindful that it was very much in my control to change my inputs to affect my life. Life now is way more balanced but it took a he'll of a lot of active steps and proactive actions to make life move forwards. I saw stepping away from depression as something that I had to make happen - that I wasn't going to let myself be a passenger in my own life.
Sitting here typing this now, I can still recall very clearly the emotional, physical and spiritual state I was in. I do think that it took an enormous and prolonged effort to leave it behind. My nest wishes to those going through their own battles. All I can say is that there is a huge huge satisfaction in sitting quietly, reflecting on where you've come from and then realising that the strength you have inside is far greater than the gear you felt the days you thought it would or could never end. 'Youve come a long way baby' and words that sometimes echo through my own head. I hope those going through their own hard journeys get to say the same thing soon.
I found your post both uplifting and sad at the same time. For a while I side stepped around the worst of it. I learned what triggers made it unbearable, made life unbearable and instead worked on reintroducing those parts that made me happy before. Music was one - cheesy songs, happy songs, songs with upbeat rhythms and positive sentiments. I watched films that made e feel good - comedies and light hearted stories...
I became super-tuned to my emotional state. I was also mindful that it was very much in my control to change my inputs to affect my life. Life now is way more balanced but it took a he'll of a lot of active steps and proactive actions to make life move forwards. I saw stepping away from depression as something that I had to make happen - that I wasn't going to let myself be a passenger in my own life.
Sitting here typing this now, I can still recall very clearly the emotional, physical and spiritual state I was in. I do think that it took an enormous and prolonged effort to leave it behind. My nest wishes to those going through their own battles. All I can say is that there is a huge huge satisfaction in sitting quietly, reflecting on where you've come from and then realising that the strength you have inside is far greater than the gear you felt the days you thought it would or could never end. 'Youve come a long way baby' and words that sometimes echo through my own head. I hope those going through their own hard journeys get to say the same thing soon.
Uplifting because you have progressed, sad because I am no where near.
thetapeworm said:
Ruskie said:
Be interested in others experiences of meds.
Been on them for 10 weeks approx. I feel completely and utterly apathetic to everything and everyone. No joy, no sadness just apathy. I understand the tablets are there to smooth out the mood swings and the highs and lows but now I have no highs!! Normally I am hornier than a teenager but that has eased off as well which again is a side effect.
What sorts of doses are those of you on fluoxetine taking? Been on them for 10 weeks approx. I feel completely and utterly apathetic to everything and everyone. No joy, no sadness just apathy. I understand the tablets are there to smooth out the mood swings and the highs and lows but now I have no highs!! Normally I am hornier than a teenager but that has eased off as well which again is a side effect.
My head has been all over the place for years (I first went on tablets in about 1999) and I'm beginning to think I might be on too much of the stuff... but then because of this I'm too apathetic to bother trying to do anything about it (although I have had CBT privately which was really useful while I was doing it but then things went back to "normal" soon after as I was signed off as being fixed).
I have the mindfulness stuff here and ready to go but.... I have no idea to be honest, it's just not happening.
Petrolhead95 said:
So I've pretty much just had a breakdown at work. I can't lie to my boss anymore so fessed up about my health issues which fortunately he understands and didn't fire me on the spot. Think I'm going to take a few days off to rest, clear my head and think about what I need to do.
This whole issue I've had with this girl has pushed me over the edge.
Sorry to hear that. Keep your chin up.This whole issue I've had with this girl has pushed me over the edge.
Well had a shocking two weeks. Missus asked me to move out as she couldn't live with me anymore in the current situation. I have for noticeably worse and at one point just stayed in bed the whole day which is unacceptable when you have a family. My carefully constructed mask has slipped further and further to the point where kids were asking constantly what the problem was. Had a massive breakdown Monday triggered by my house been valued to go on market.
Been to see GP today, medication doubled and referred on for CBT counselling.
I have had better weeks
Been to see GP today, medication doubled and referred on for CBT counselling.
I have had better weeks
Petrolhead95 said:
Well, since my last post I was having a decent few weeks. I started getting my sleep back, I could eat proper meals again and I was generally just feeling a lot happier.
Unfortunately the last two weeks have been crap. The biggest negative being falling out with best friend. She said she's completely done with me, doesn't want to see me again and hates me which instantly put me into a massive free fall of s
t that I really could do without. Money has been very tight this month, work has been fking awful and I've once again lost to ability to sleep properly and I can't eat a proper meal.
My problems are tiny compared with some on here, but I just hate feeling like crap. Nobody around me understands and/or cares. It's horrible to say it, but I've never felt so alone in my life.
Yay me.
Chin up mate I understand some off how your feeling. Let's have a sUnfortunately the last two weeks have been crap. The biggest negative being falling out with best friend. She said she's completely done with me, doesn't want to see me again and hates me which instantly put me into a massive free fall of s
t that I really could do without. Money has been very tight this month, work has been fking awful and I've once again lost to ability to sleep properly and I can't eat a proper meal. My problems are tiny compared with some on here, but I just hate feeling like crap. Nobody around me understands and/or cares. It's horrible to say it, but I've never felt so alone in my life.
Yay me.
t life top trumps game Still in Mums spare bedroom, work is manic and unforgiving at the moment (occupational hazard I suppose) Zero sign of been back home which I can deal with but I'm in Limbo. I hate Christmas at the best of times but it seems to been rammed down my throat extra early this year. Skint so working loads of extra shifts resulting in been run down, no time for gym, no time for socialising. So it goes on!
How are people doing?
04.25 and can't sleep. Standard at the moment. I think another trip to the doctors in order as I'm completely fked up. I seem to be spiralling but just about holding it together. Off work, on days off and it's worse as no distractions. Feeling very joyless, emotionless and detached from everything. Stopped eating practically and obviously sleep is an issue or I wouldn't be typing this at 4.30am!
Had a letter acknowledging my request for counselling but its gonna be months I reckon. Still back home, so much anger and resentment built up I'm not sure I can get over it at the moment and move on with life. My mask/wall is up and people just think I'm getting on with things. How pathetic when you can't even be yourself around people anymore.
No real point to the post just thought I would update.
04.25 and can't sleep. Standard at the moment. I think another trip to the doctors in order as I'm completely f
ked up. I seem to be spiralling but just about holding it together. Off work, on days off and it's worse as no distractions. Feeling very joyless, emotionless and detached from everything. Stopped eating practically and obviously sleep is an issue or I wouldn't be typing this at 4.30am! Had a letter acknowledging my request for counselling but its gonna be months I reckon. Still back home, so much anger and resentment built up I'm not sure I can get over it at the moment and move on with life. My mask/wall is up and people just think I'm getting on with things. How pathetic when you can't even be yourself around people anymore.
No real point to the post just thought I would update.
crazy about cars said:
Winter time is usually worse for me due to lack of sunlight. Depression for me feels like a rope that's hanging around my neck. It's always there despite my best efforts to break free. Only difference is how tight that rope gets.
I understand how hard it is to put on a mask.
How are you getting on with your meds Ruskie? Regarding counselling you need to keep pushing. Did your GP get you a referral to your local mental health team?
Yeah referral acknowledged but big backlog I believe. Meds are not doing anything. Need to see GP but I'm wary of big doses of AD as I need to function at work.I understand how hard it is to put on a mask.
How are you getting on with your meds Ruskie? Regarding counselling you need to keep pushing. Did your GP get you a referral to your local mental health team?
Edited by crazy about cars on Wednesday 10th December 07:59
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