Discussion
Petrolhead95 said:
My problems are tiny compared with some on here, but I just hate feeling like crap. Nobody around me understands and/or cares. It's horrible to say it, but I've never felt so alone in my life.
Trust me, I know that feeling all too well... it's all about learning how to cope. Easier said than done I know.Ruskie said:
Chin up mate I understand some off how your feeling. Let's have a s
t life top trumps game 
Still in Mums spare bedroom, work is manic and unforgiving at the moment (occupational hazard I suppose) Zero sign of been back home which I can deal with but I'm in Limbo. I hate Christmas at the best of times but it seems to been rammed down my throat extra early this year. Skint so working loads of extra shifts resulting in been run down, no time for gym, no time for socialising. So it goes on!
Sounds like a pretty crap time you're having - hopefully things look up for you over Christmas!t life top trumps game Still in Mums spare bedroom, work is manic and unforgiving at the moment (occupational hazard I suppose) Zero sign of been back home which I can deal with but I'm in Limbo. I hate Christmas at the best of times but it seems to been rammed down my throat extra early this year. Skint so working loads of extra shifts resulting in been run down, no time for gym, no time for socialising. So it goes on!
johnxjsc1985 said:
Tiny or not mate your problems are yours and big enough to stop you enjoying your life.
I hope you manage to get through this period as you will sooner or later and just try not to be so hard on yourself .
Thanks. It's surprisingly comforting to be able to speak - even over the internet - to other people that actually understand what I'm going through. I hope you manage to get through this period as you will sooner or later and just try not to be so hard on yourself .
How are people doing?
04.25 and can't sleep. Standard at the moment. I think another trip to the doctors in order as I'm completely fked up. I seem to be spiralling but just about holding it together. Off work, on days off and it's worse as no distractions. Feeling very joyless, emotionless and detached from everything. Stopped eating practically and obviously sleep is an issue or I wouldn't be typing this at 4.30am!
Had a letter acknowledging my request for counselling but its gonna be months I reckon. Still back home, so much anger and resentment built up I'm not sure I can get over it at the moment and move on with life. My mask/wall is up and people just think I'm getting on with things. How pathetic when you can't even be yourself around people anymore.
No real point to the post just thought I would update.
04.25 and can't sleep. Standard at the moment. I think another trip to the doctors in order as I'm completely f
ked up. I seem to be spiralling but just about holding it together. Off work, on days off and it's worse as no distractions. Feeling very joyless, emotionless and detached from everything. Stopped eating practically and obviously sleep is an issue or I wouldn't be typing this at 4.30am! Had a letter acknowledging my request for counselling but its gonna be months I reckon. Still back home, so much anger and resentment built up I'm not sure I can get over it at the moment and move on with life. My mask/wall is up and people just think I'm getting on with things. How pathetic when you can't even be yourself around people anymore.
No real point to the post just thought I would update.
Winter time is usually worse for me due to lack of sunlight. Depression for me feels like a rope that's hanging around my neck. It's always there despite my best efforts to break free. Only difference is how tight that rope gets.
I understand how hard it is to put on a mask.
How are you getting on with your meds Ruskie? Regarding counselling you need to keep pushing. Did your GP get you a referral to your local mental health team?
I understand how hard it is to put on a mask.
How are you getting on with your meds Ruskie? Regarding counselling you need to keep pushing. Did your GP get you a referral to your local mental health team?
Edited by crazy about cars on Wednesday 10th December 07:59
crazy about cars said:
Winter time is usually worse for me due to lack of sunlight. Depression for me feels like a rope that's hanging around my neck. It's always there despite my best efforts to break free. Only difference is how tight that rope gets.
I understand how hard it is to put on a mask.
How are you getting on with your meds Ruskie? Regarding counselling you need to keep pushing. Did your GP get you a referral to your local mental health team?
Yeah referral acknowledged but big backlog I believe. Meds are not doing anything. Need to see GP but I'm wary of big doses of AD as I need to function at work.I understand how hard it is to put on a mask.
How are you getting on with your meds Ruskie? Regarding counselling you need to keep pushing. Did your GP get you a referral to your local mental health team?
Edited by crazy about cars on Wednesday 10th December 07:59
Ruskie said:
Yeah referral acknowledged but big backlog I believe. Meds are not doing anything. Need to see GP but I'm wary of big doses of AD as I need to function at work.
Might be worth speaking with the docs to change them. You're on Prozac? They did nothing for me other than zombie me out completely. Mirtazapine was OK, other than the weight gain, Tri cyclics made me pee funny. The one that worked for me was Venlafaxine, no bad side effects, the old man still worked fine, bugger to get off them though. They havent worked for other people, I think with meds it's a question of trying, failing, trying again til you find the one that's right for you. They're a great crutch to help you through dark times, might be worth treating it as a time where you experiment til the therapy comes in as well, as that'll give you a double whammy andy-xr said:
I think with meds it's a question of trying, failing, trying again til you find the one that's right for you. They're a great crutch to help you through dark times, might be worth treating it as a time where you experiment til the therapy comes in as well, as that'll give you a double whammy
This x 10000. Ive tried Sertraline and Citalopram in the past and both made me feel hideous yet 3 months in on Prozac i feel like a different person, so much better than Ive done for years, but it took a good two months before the side effects died off, i was getting mega panic attacks which ive never suffered with before and generally feeling like a zombie.Yes, I did acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) as part of psychotherapy. Twisted my head around and had a few matrix moments with it, it took a while to sink in but once I got it things changed fairly quickly. It helped me to have an audiobook as well, I was doing long commutes to work at the time, so having that for an hour in the moring and evening helped. The one I had was Get out of your mind and Into your life. Mindfulness was a strong part of it
I'm midway through my counseling - because the therapist at the GP's is a friend they referred my outside of their system and it is being done through my local MIND but funded via the NHS. It took about 3months to get a slot and I have 6 sessions.
I do find it extremely wearing to do the sessions - I feel whacked afterwards and have been taking the days as hols rather than trying to work. It's stupid that I can't be honest enough to book it as medical time off like Physio would be but it shows the stigma attached
Is it working? Hmmmm, I need to change how and why I think in certain ways so yes in that aspect. It's really difficult when you have settled into a certain pattern to live(up early, work, home, doze, dinner, bath, telly, bed... and repeat) but that isn't working for me. TBH, I think I've had a holding pattern since I got divorced and live on my own. I think, for me, having someone at home is/was very important. I do have a wonderful partner but we live apart and that can't change easily without some huge other changes. Mindfulness really is the "big thing" at the moment and I have made a distinct effort to focus on what I am doing at any one point rather than doing one and thinking about a million other things. It helps, I have had to be really firm with my stupid workload since the summer. Some things haven't got done but the world still keeps turning so stuff it!!
As for the sleeping, if you don't mind turning into a fat bd I think Mirtazapine 15mg has really helped me - sleep is no problem, waking and getting up is another issue!!!
I do find it extremely wearing to do the sessions - I feel whacked afterwards and have been taking the days as hols rather than trying to work. It's stupid that I can't be honest enough to book it as medical time off like Physio would be but it shows the stigma attached
Is it working? Hmmmm, I need to change how and why I think in certain ways so yes in that aspect. It's really difficult when you have settled into a certain pattern to live(up early, work, home, doze, dinner, bath, telly, bed... and repeat) but that isn't working for me. TBH, I think I've had a holding pattern since I got divorced and live on my own. I think, for me, having someone at home is/was very important. I do have a wonderful partner but we live apart and that can't change easily without some huge other changes. Mindfulness really is the "big thing" at the moment and I have made a distinct effort to focus on what I am doing at any one point rather than doing one and thinking about a million other things. It helps, I have had to be really firm with my stupid workload since the summer. Some things haven't got done but the world still keeps turning so stuff it!!
As for the sleeping, if you don't mind turning into a fat b
d I think Mirtazapine 15mg has really helped me - sleep is no problem, waking and getting up is another issue!!!tonyvid said:
I'm midway through my counseling - because the therapist at the GP's is a friend they referred my outside of their system and it is being done through my local MIND but funded via the NHS. It took about 3months to get a slot and I have 6 sessions.
I do find it extremely wearing to do the sessions - I feel whacked afterwards and have been taking the days as hols rather than trying to work. It's stupid that I can't be honest enough to book it as medical time off like Physio would be but it shows the stigma attached
Is it working? Hmmmm, I need to change how and why I think in certain ways so yes in that aspect. It's really difficult when you have settled into a certain pattern to live(up early, work, home, doze, dinner, bath, telly, bed... and repeat) but that isn't working for me. TBH, I think I've had a holding pattern since I got divorced and live on my own. I think, for me, having someone at home is/was very important. I do have a wonderful partner but we live apart and that can't change easily without some huge other changes. Mindfulness really is the "big thing" at the moment and I have made a distinct effort to focus on what I am doing at any one point rather than doing one and thinking about a million other things. It helps, I have had to be really firm with my stupid workload since the summer. Some things haven't got done but the world still keeps turning so stuff it!!
As for the sleeping, if you don't mind turning into a fat bd I think Mirtazapine 15mg has really helped me - sleep is no problem, waking and getting up is another issue!!!
You doing CBT?I do find it extremely wearing to do the sessions - I feel whacked afterwards and have been taking the days as hols rather than trying to work. It's stupid that I can't be honest enough to book it as medical time off like Physio would be but it shows the stigma attached
Is it working? Hmmmm, I need to change how and why I think in certain ways so yes in that aspect. It's really difficult when you have settled into a certain pattern to live(up early, work, home, doze, dinner, bath, telly, bed... and repeat) but that isn't working for me. TBH, I think I've had a holding pattern since I got divorced and live on my own. I think, for me, having someone at home is/was very important. I do have a wonderful partner but we live apart and that can't change easily without some huge other changes. Mindfulness really is the "big thing" at the moment and I have made a distinct effort to focus on what I am doing at any one point rather than doing one and thinking about a million other things. It helps, I have had to be really firm with my stupid workload since the summer. Some things haven't got done but the world still keeps turning so stuff it!!
As for the sleeping, if you don't mind turning into a fat b
d I think Mirtazapine 15mg has really helped me - sleep is no problem, waking and getting up is another issue!!!Not as I understand things - I believe CBT is based around training yourself and mind to think in new patterns but it could be linked. I think Mindfulness is more about using all your senses and receptors to fully involve(or distract when stressed or on the verge of a panic attack) yourself in what you are doing. I'll give the example of the Panto I went to at the weekend - rather than sit there and not really "be there" because you are full of intrusive thoughts, you use all your senses to take everything in you can - the noise, the sights, the atmosphere, those around you, the smells. You shout, boo, clap and dance rather than being shut off.
It's hard work but it makes it more concentrated and richer - and stops you churning away on rubbish in your head. You can do the same in stressful situations - stuck in traffic? Really feel the car around you, the sound of the radio(or that whirring tensioner you should've change weeks ago....oh no, stop that, that's not the time to think about it!)the smell of the leather etc.
Another example my counseller gave me was compulsive eaters - rather than use a JCB to shovel your face full you look at the food, feel the texture when you cut it and eat it, explore the taste and smell of what you are eating. You get the picture.
Ruby Wax has a very good book out if you want it in easy terms - Sane New World.
(All of that above might be bks but that is how I understand it!)
It's hard work but it makes it more concentrated and richer - and stops you churning away on rubbish in your head. You can do the same in stressful situations - stuck in traffic? Really feel the car around you, the sound of the radio(or that whirring tensioner you should've change weeks ago....oh no, stop that, that's not the time to think about it!)the smell of the leather etc.
Another example my counseller gave me was compulsive eaters - rather than use a JCB to shovel your face full you look at the food, feel the texture when you cut it and eat it, explore the taste and smell of what you are eating. You get the picture.
Ruby Wax has a very good book out if you want it in easy terms - Sane New World.
(All of that above might be b
ks but that is how I understand it!)
Update
Had a counselling session in late September. Tried arranging more and nothing else has happened. Feel like I'm back to square one. I've had a few mental moments due to a massive change at work where I'm working 6 days a week and won't get to see my little girl which really upsets me. I've had the odd day where I've managed to break free of it but always get pulled back down. There's one person who truly understands me and has seen me through the darkest days. I'm dreading telling the family I've been diagnosed with it as I feel like a failure and have let the family down but more so my little girl. I'm thinking about going back to the doctor to see if he can push for more sessions as the counsellor hasn't got back to me anymore.
Had a counselling session in late September. Tried arranging more and nothing else has happened. Feel like I'm back to square one. I've had a few mental moments due to a massive change at work where I'm working 6 days a week and won't get to see my little girl which really upsets me. I've had the odd day where I've managed to break free of it but always get pulled back down. There's one person who truly understands me and has seen me through the darkest days. I'm dreading telling the family I've been diagnosed with it as I feel like a failure and have let the family down but more so my little girl. I'm thinking about going back to the doctor to see if he can push for more sessions as the counsellor hasn't got back to me anymore.
The day that you broke free.. what was different about that day?
Go back to your GP. YOU need to be proactive in your recovery. Don't be ashamed to talk about depression and don't for one moment think that you have failed or let anyone down. It takes great courage to stand up and say how you feel. That you are doing something positive to help your life and both directly and indirectly, the lives of those closest to you say s a great deal about the person you really are inside.
Go back to your GP. YOU need to be proactive in your recovery. Don't be ashamed to talk about depression and don't for one moment think that you have failed or let anyone down. It takes great courage to stand up and say how you feel. That you are doing something positive to help your life and both directly and indirectly, the lives of those closest to you say s a great deal about the person you really are inside.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/0...
"Is depression a kind of allergic reaction? A growing number of scientists are suggesting that depression is a result of inflammation caused by the body’s immune system."
"Is depression a kind of allergic reaction? A growing number of scientists are suggesting that depression is a result of inflammation caused by the body’s immune system."
birky said:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/0...
"Is depression a kind of allergic reaction? A growing number of scientists are suggesting that depression is a result of inflammation caused by the body’s immune system."
Not convinced at all."Is depression a kind of allergic reaction? A growing number of scientists are suggesting that depression is a result of inflammation caused by the body’s immune system."
I think for me the suggestion of trying Omega 3 and Tumeric was the nail in the coffin of credibility in that article.
drivin_me_nuts said:
The day that you broke free.. what was different about that day?
Go back to your GP. YOU need to be proactive in your recovery. Don't be ashamed to talk about depression and don't for one moment think that you have failed or let anyone down. It takes great courage to stand up and say how you feel. That you are doing something positive to help your life and both directly and indirectly, the lives of those closest to you say s a great deal about the person you really are inside.
The best way to describe it is that I felt like nothing could stop me, I don't know what made those days happen but Christ it felt good. My main aim is to destroy the depression which my rock says has gripped me like a jockey. I want to get out of this so my daughter has a normal dad instead of a mess. I thank you all and I hope you all break free.Go back to your GP. YOU need to be proactive in your recovery. Don't be ashamed to talk about depression and don't for one moment think that you have failed or let anyone down. It takes great courage to stand up and say how you feel. That you are doing something positive to help your life and both directly and indirectly, the lives of those closest to you say s a great deal about the person you really are inside.
I've put holidays in at work so hopefully I'll get some time to sort myself out.
birky said:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/0...
"Is depression a kind of allergic reaction? A growing number of scientists are suggesting that depression is a result of inflammation caused by the body’s immune system."
I do think this is a good summary for a lot of people"Is depression a kind of allergic reaction? A growing number of scientists are suggesting that depression is a result of inflammation caused by the body’s immune system."
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/...
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff