Depression

Author
Discussion

Petrolhead95

7,043 posts

154 months

Monday 23rd February 2015
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twing said:
While you're there pick up the spray as well bud. It really did make a difference for me when the panic set in. I kept it in my pocket all the time just in case. It's only herbal and tastes a bit buttery.
I'll give it a go, thank you smile

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,988 posts

200 months

Monday 23rd February 2015
quotequote all
Had my first counselling session last week and since I have been a bit more positive and things better at home. After getting over the initial awkward stage it was ok. I'm still a bit cynical but we will see how it goes.

twing

5,010 posts

131 months

Monday 23rd February 2015
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Ruskie said:
Had my first counselling session last week and since I have been a bit more positive and things better at home. After getting over the initial awkward stage it was ok. I'm still a bit cynical but we will see how it goes.
Nice one" one on one or a group?

ShiningWit

10,203 posts

128 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
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Mobile Chicane said:
Anxiety and depression are very closely related.

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, have done since I was ten years old, long before it even had a name.

For me, getting worked up over trivial comments is a prognosticator of an oncoming episode. At this point I'd be thinking about medicating.
How does SAD affect your medication? Do you just take it in Winter or take additional or different ones in Winter?
I've tried to work through it this time without holiday or medication, but i'm thinking it's got me at the moment, I don't feel great frown
A 2 week holiday somewhere hot over Christmas/NY does me wonders, but that's rarely possible for various reasons. Given we are close to Spring I don't know whether to just see how it goes or do something, medication never did much for me.
I may try some of the over-the-counter stuff which has been discussed.

tonyvid

9,869 posts

243 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
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The winter and SAD effect me and I've used St Johns Wort the last few years which does seem to help. I have a really bright SAD light on during breakfast too, the only downside is being slightly dazzled still when I get in the car on dark mornings! Usual warnings with SJW apply - contraceptive pill/sunshine etc.

BlackST

9,079 posts

165 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
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Been with my fiancee for 7 years now.
She said she started suffering depression from 15 onwards.
Past 2 years it has been pretty bad, some situations could have broke us but I've stuck with her and tried to help her out as good as I could have. Been some scary times too.

Has anybodys partner ever suffered depression?
I'm a pretty strong minded person and I'm glad for it but at times I just wish the world would swallow me up.

We go on holidays, have money, buy whatever we want in love with eachother..
There just isn't a clear indicator as to what makes her depressed.

andy-xr

13,204 posts

204 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
BlackST said:
Been with my fiancee for 7 years now.
She said she started suffering depression from 15 onwards.
Past 2 years it has been pretty bad, some situations could have broke us but I've stuck with her and tried to help her out as good as I could have. Been some scary times too.

Has anybodys partner ever suffered depression?
I'm a pretty strong minded person and I'm glad for it but at times I just wish the world would swallow me up.

We go on holidays, have money, buy whatever we want in love with eachother..
There just isn't a clear indicator as to what makes her depressed.
Because there isnt one. You're asking why an orange is orange, but it's not like sticking your hand in the fire is what's making it burn. There'll be triggers and there'll be situations. I was in a long'ish relationship with someone who was diagnosed bipolar early on, probably 2 or 3 months after we'd got together. The problem is, or was, for me that I became more of a carer and less of a boyfriend and that didnt really help either of us. I read books, I went to classes, attended support groups, got a really good understanding of what's going on and what it's like to live with, as well as the first hand experiences. The more knowledge you have, the better you'll understand what your role is

BlackST

9,079 posts

165 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
andy-xr said:
BlackST said:
Been with my fiancee for 7 years now.
She said she started suffering depression from 15 onwards.
Past 2 years it has been pretty bad, some situations could have broke us but I've stuck with her and tried to help her out as good as I could have. Been some scary times too.

Has anybodys partner ever suffered depression?
I'm a pretty strong minded person and I'm glad for it but at times I just wish the world would swallow me up.

We go on holidays, have money, buy whatever we want in love with eachother..
There just isn't a clear indicator as to what makes her depressed.
Because there isnt one. You're asking why an orange is orange, but it's not like sticking your hand in the fire is what's making it burn. There'll be triggers and there'll be situations. I was in a long'ish relationship with someone who was diagnosed bipolar early on, probably 2 or 3 months after we'd got together. The problem is, or was, for me that I became more of a carer and less of a boyfriend and that didnt really help either of us. I read books, I went to classes, attended support groups, got a really good understanding of what's going on and what it's like to live with, as well as the first hand experiences. The more knowledge you have, the better you'll understand what your role is
That's what I don't want to happen, to be more of a carer and less of a boyfriend/ husband.
It's became apparent that there isnmt really a trigger, just whenever she has an off day she will have an off day.
She may be bipolar too. That much isn't certain yet however she has been to counsellors and had 1 on 1s.
One day on top of the world, the day later behaving like her whole world, family and house has been wiped away and left her homeless without anyone loving her.

I have been doig some reading, guess I have to keep on reading. Unsure if I could go to classes but I guess it would benefit me long term.

Mobile Chicane

20,823 posts

212 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
ShiningWit said:
Mobile Chicane said:
Anxiety and depression are very closely related.

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, have done since I was ten years old, long before it even had a name.

For me, getting worked up over trivial comments is a prognosticator of an oncoming episode. At this point I'd be thinking about medicating.
How does SAD affect your medication? Do you just take it in Winter or take additional or different ones in Winter?
I've tried to work through it this time without holiday or medication, but i'm thinking it's got me at the moment, I don't feel great frown
A 2 week holiday somewhere hot over Christmas/NY does me wonders, but that's rarely possible for various reasons. Given we are close to Spring I don't know whether to just see how it goes or do something, medication never did much for me.
I may try some of the over-the-counter stuff which has been discussed.
I actually feel worst between now and the start of summer proper. It's the cumulative effect of sunlight deprivation although the days are getting longer. A virtually windowless office doesn't help either.

I'll admit I've tried the OTC 'remedies', and in all honesty I find the difference between these and proper anti-depressant medication which actually works is like night and day.

ETA: I don't medicate year-round. Only when I need it. CBT coupled with my own awareness has enabled me to spot the signs of an oncoming episode, and make early intervention before the condition becomes totally disabling.


Edited by Mobile Chicane on Tuesday 24th February 13:33

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,988 posts

200 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
twing said:
Nice one" one on one or a group?
1-1

ShiningWit

10,203 posts

128 months

Tuesday 24th February 2015
quotequote all
Mobile Chicane said:
I actually feel worse between now and the start of summer proper. It's the cumulative effect of sunlight deprivation although the days are getting longer. A virtually windowless office doesn't help either.

I'll admit I've tried the OTC 'remedies', and in all honesty I find the difference between these and proper anti-depressant medication which actually works is like night and day.

ETA: I don't medicate year-round. Only when I need it. CBT coupled with my own awareness has enabled me to spot the signs of an oncoming episode, and make early intervention before the condition becomes totally disabling.


Edited by Mobile Chicane on Tuesday 24th February 13:33
Thanks for writing, SAD is maybe something I have to do some research on I think, I work in a dark hole too!
The NHS will hand out pills easy enough where I live, CBT is a 9 month wait and proper counselling is at least 18 months. Last time I did CBT it was sitting in front of a computer and reading cartoons, there was no human interaction. I ended up cancelling my pension and paying for counselling instead.

I definitely get worse in Winter, I remember joining a depression forum in December I think, it was so depressing on there! I stopped reading it, but went back when I was feeling bad again, I noticed my last log in was almost exactly one year previous....

crazy about cars

4,454 posts

169 months

Wednesday 25th February 2015
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Been on NHS website and read about GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) which sounds very familiar.

I will try to push for counselling next week when I have the appointment with my mental health clinic.

Combination of stress and illness this week nearly landed me in hot water at work... well perhaps I caused some friction. Just feel so helpless...

Rusty1

614 posts

190 months

Wednesday 25th February 2015
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not posted in here for a while,

i think since i last posted, i got moved off 40mg fluoxetine (20 in morning and 20 at night) which i was on for about 3 months
as i was having horrific lucid nightmares (when i managed to sleep) and started feeling really low again, even having those "bad" thoughts.

I got moved onto Mirtazapine (just under 1 month ago) which is 15mg at night, It has helped me sleep but some times over sleep.
Nightmares are now really rare, depression is far better off and anxiety seems to have gone.
BUT i seem to have mood swings, easy to get frustrated and can very quickly loose my temper, which for me is really rare.

But once i've lost my temper, i get so angry at myself for loosing it and want to tear my hair out and pull off all my skin and generally just torture myself for being frustrated and loosing the rag.
Its easy things that can set me off, like my 1 year old dog just somehow drove me to it in the last half hour, she didn't do anything in particular but i lost my temper.

I still occasionally have "bad" thoughts, and think to myself that i'd have to make it look like an accident so the wife would get the life insurance and although she would grieve me being gone, i think it would be easier to take as an accident than intentional.

Off back to the drs in a few days so will need to tell him the side effects.

The positives from it are great, i'm able to go do new things without having to sit on the toilet for 30mins before and pre plan exit strategies and i generally don't feel as low.

If only i could have the positives without these current side effects.

Sorry for the late night ramble!

crazy about cars

4,454 posts

169 months

Thursday 26th February 2015
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Thanks for sharing Rusty1. Was fluoxetine your first experience with ADs? Did your GP recommend trying specific AD first before moving onto the other? It was 5+ years ago since I last had ADs but I remember the GP went down s specific list for me to try regardless of my feedback.

I find medication combined with therapy is more effective especially if it's the first time someone been on ADs. I remembered my first time long ago I was feeling scared and feel so alone as depression was a stigma (and maybe still is?) and not something you can easily share with someone.

Rusty1 said:
not posted in here for a while,

i think since i last posted, i got moved off 40mg fluoxetine (20 in morning and 20 at night) which i was on for about 3 months
as i was having horrific lucid nightmares (when i managed to sleep) and started feeling really low again, even having those "bad" thoughts.

I got moved onto Mirtazapine (just under 1 month ago) which is 15mg at night, It has helped me sleep but some times over sleep.
Nightmares are now really rare, depression is far better off and anxiety seems to have gone.
BUT i seem to have mood swings, easy to get frustrated and can very quickly loose my temper, which for me is really rare.

But once i've lost my temper, i get so angry at myself for loosing it and want to tear my hair out and pull off all my skin and generally just torture myself for being frustrated and loosing the rag.
Its easy things that can set me off, like my 1 year old dog just somehow drove me to it in the last half hour, she didn't do anything in particular but i lost my temper.

I still occasionally have "bad" thoughts, and think to myself that i'd have to make it look like an accident so the wife would get the life insurance and although she would grieve me being gone, i think it would be easier to take as an accident than intentional.

Off back to the drs in a few days so will need to tell him the side effects.

The positives from it are great, i'm able to go do new things without having to sit on the toilet for 30mins before and pre plan exit strategies and i generally don't feel as low.

If only i could have the positives without these current side effects.

Sorry for the late night ramble!

andy-xr

13,204 posts

204 months

Thursday 26th February 2015
quotequote all
See about going up on your dose, the lower dose is good for sleep, the higher dose is a bit more activating during the day and more therapeutic, but you really cant drink with it, or if you do, count each beer as 2.5 beers. Sweet stuff will be very tempting too, but you might have less urges to try and pull your own skin off.

If you're not already, do try and get some kind of regular therapy session going, it'll help consolidate things in your brain about what's rational and what's not, prob help with the suicidal thoughts that can come and go. BTW - it's OK to have them, and it's important to remember that it's OK, it's just your brain talking to you

Edited by andy-xr on Thursday 26th February 08:04

Rusty1

614 posts

190 months

Thursday 26th February 2015
quotequote all
Yeah fluoxetine was my first anti depressants.

I don't drink anyway due to my mother being an alcoholic so i don't need to worry about the extre effect of mixing it with drink.

Got a letter through this morning with details of a telephone consultation which should lead futher, which will be good!!

dumfriesdave

384 posts

137 months

Thursday 26th February 2015
quotequote all
Rusty1 said:
not posted in here for a while,

i think since i last posted, i got moved off 40mg fluoxetine (20 in morning and 20 at night) which i was on for about 3 months
as i was having horrific lucid nightmares (when i managed to sleep) and started feeling really low again, even having those "bad" thoughts.

I got moved onto Mirtazapine (just under 1 month ago) which is 15mg at night, It has helped me sleep but some times over sleep.
Nightmares are now really rare, depression is far better off and anxiety seems to have gone.
BUT i seem to have mood swings, easy to get frustrated and can very quickly loose my temper, which for me is really rare.

But once i've lost my temper, i get so angry at myself for loosing it and want to tear my hair out and pull off all my skin and generally just torture myself for being frustrated and loosing the rag.
Its easy things that can set me off, like my 1 year old dog just somehow drove me to it in the last half hour, she didn't do anything in particular but i lost my temper.

I still occasionally have "bad" thoughts, and think to myself that i'd have to make it look like an accident so the wife would get the life insurance and although she would grieve me being gone, i think it would be easier to take as an accident than intentional.

Off back to the drs in a few days so will need to tell him the side effects.

The positives from it are great, i'm able to go do new things without having to sit on the toilet for 30mins before and pre plan exit strategies and i generally don't feel as low.

If only i could have the positives without these current side effects.

Sorry for the late night ramble!
Stick with them Rusty-gets better after a while.
I have used mirtazapine for long time now.
The bad thoughts you describe are quite common at the beginning of treatment,although it will subside after a while.
Smaller dose helps build a more regular sleep pattern.
Surprised to hear about mood swings..again this is maybe experienced in the beginning as the body and brain takes time to get used to the change in chemical balance.
I tend to go the other way..nothing seems to stress me out too much.

curlyks2

1,030 posts

146 months

Friday 27th February 2015
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crazy about cars said:
curlyks2 said:
Not very well.
What's up buddy care to share?
c. 5 or 6 years on antidepressants (citalopram this time round, which do really help, but... (3rd time on different ADs over the years)), 3rd course of CBT (apparently my activity/exercise levels are above normal anyway so that side of it has changed nowt), still massively struggling with motivation and seeing "the point".

Rusty1

614 posts

190 months

Saturday 28th February 2015
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got a letter from life link, who i self reffered to a fair few months ago,
so hopefully get some one to one counciling.

I agree with above! I don't get major lows whilst on these tablets, but I still just struggle to see the "point"
Wake up, go to work, come home, do something, go to bed, get up, go to work, rinse and repeat
with occasional holidays chucked in.

On days off, don't want to do too much so not too tired for work!

Dr Jekyll

23,820 posts

261 months

Sunday 1st March 2015
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In the education section of today's Sunday Times there is a letter from a parent whose kid has been excluded from school on the basis that his depression makes him some kind of threat to the school. I don't have the paper in front of me so I'm not sure 'threat' was the word used but it certainly the gist.

What on earth could be the school's reasoning?