Discussion
Not sure how this will pan out tbh....
Staring down the barrel of turning 50 in the next 7 days, I find myself wondering what its all about.
Been on Escilatopram for what feels like the last 6 years.
Never really had a career, or actually been really happy in work.
Finally got out of a dead end job only to find I hated the new role and feel sold out as origianl promises reneged upon.
Ive been in the current role since November and have never worked so hard in my life. I feel Ive completely lost my life and am doing everyting I can to find a new job.
I have a meeting set up with a potential new employer on Tuesday, and this wil be our third meeting. They have offered me a role I can do and the hours/commute are way better but I thinkt he final salary will end up about 2k less than currently.
Thats doesnt bother me as Im not a breadhead and need to get something out of what I do.
I think my real concern is that I dont feel like Ive ever actually been happy for a very long time and really want to stop feeling this way.
I originally felt my old job was holding me back, and after taking on my new role started to reduce/ come off Escitlatorpam.Whats a misdtke that was. Ended up feeling literally ready to end the whole deal.Never,ever, felt so dark, desolate and totally ready to end my life.
Im 100% my current job isnt what I want, althought the dollar is good. The potential new role is all a bit vague but in a field I have some feel for and is very close to home....
I adore my wife and have no kids to worry about, and Mrs T7 has a solid career in the jewellery trade.
When at school I always wanted to be a vet, but my academics let me down I never fancied all those years at Uni tbh.
Consequently, I ended up working in agriculture, which covered most of the bases above other than earnign a decent living.....
Following those years, Ive pretty job hopped since, and thats where I am now and Im tired of it all TBH......
Staring down the barrel of turning 50 in the next 7 days, I find myself wondering what its all about.
Been on Escilatopram for what feels like the last 6 years.
Never really had a career, or actually been really happy in work.
Finally got out of a dead end job only to find I hated the new role and feel sold out as origianl promises reneged upon.
Ive been in the current role since November and have never worked so hard in my life. I feel Ive completely lost my life and am doing everyting I can to find a new job.
I have a meeting set up with a potential new employer on Tuesday, and this wil be our third meeting. They have offered me a role I can do and the hours/commute are way better but I thinkt he final salary will end up about 2k less than currently.
Thats doesnt bother me as Im not a breadhead and need to get something out of what I do.
I think my real concern is that I dont feel like Ive ever actually been happy for a very long time and really want to stop feeling this way.
I originally felt my old job was holding me back, and after taking on my new role started to reduce/ come off Escitlatorpam.Whats a misdtke that was. Ended up feeling literally ready to end the whole deal.Never,ever, felt so dark, desolate and totally ready to end my life.
Im 100% my current job isnt what I want, althought the dollar is good. The potential new role is all a bit vague but in a field I have some feel for and is very close to home....
I adore my wife and have no kids to worry about, and Mrs T7 has a solid career in the jewellery trade.
When at school I always wanted to be a vet, but my academics let me down I never fancied all those years at Uni tbh.
Consequently, I ended up working in agriculture, which covered most of the bases above other than earnign a decent living.....
Following those years, Ive pretty job hopped since, and thats where I am now and Im tired of it all TBH......
crazy about cars said:
just curious, anyone here experience constant anxiety (worrying) and also almost always have a sense of impending doom? Always believe that something terrible is going to happen and it's driving me mad.
Am I crazy?
No, but are you doing what you can to help yourself? Keeping the mind active, walks, a hobby/sport? Not easy but see if you can force yourselfAm I crazy?
crazy about cars said:
just curious, anyone here experience constant anxiety (worrying) and also almost always have a sense of impending doom? Always believe that something terrible is going to happen and it's driving me mad.
Am I crazy?
Nope, not crazy! The sad thing is, though, that if you don't do something about it you'll almost get used to it. It'll become a normal part of life which it shouldn't. For me it's always there and only on days like today does it totally take over, my fault, heavy weekend and not enough decent food. I really should force myself to eat better, drink less, do some excercise but, you know what, it's been like this for so long that I really, genuinely cannot be bothered. I'll just get on and deal with it day to day. Which is sad and if you keep on feeling like this then please take the advice.Am I crazy?
Thanks for the quick replies all. I'm just slipping into a bad state of mind... mounting pressure at work and recently found out missus is pregnant.
Not easy spending 50+hours at work trying to put on a mask and then have to come back home and do the same.
I'm forcing myself to go on walks and have cut down drinking during school nights.
I've started counselling and although this is more focussed on my ADHD I'm hoping the counsellor can help. She is ever so willing to listen and offer great advice. It's strange as logically I should know all the advice she gives by heart but it feels so much better hearing it from another person.
As I don't have mates I can talk face-to-face to I do find it really helpful to pop by here, to listen and to share...
Not easy spending 50+hours at work trying to put on a mask and then have to come back home and do the same.
I'm forcing myself to go on walks and have cut down drinking during school nights.
I've started counselling and although this is more focussed on my ADHD I'm hoping the counsellor can help. She is ever so willing to listen and offer great advice. It's strange as logically I should know all the advice she gives by heart but it feels so much better hearing it from another person.
As I don't have mates I can talk face-to-face to I do find it really helpful to pop by here, to listen and to share...
Edited by crazy about cars on Tuesday 5th May 22:37
crazy about cars said:
As I don't have mates I can talk face-to-face to I do find it really helpful to pop by here, to listen and to share...
If possible, find a hobby and try to stick to it. Eat well and see if you can cut booze right down a couple on Friday or Saturday after exercise. Edited by crazy about cars on Tuesday 5th May 22:37
Do you like or have any interest in: golf, football, rugby / rugby training, hillwalking, badminton, tennis, martial arts. There should be clubs for everything for most people depending where you live. Get some audiobooks and go for long walks (yes this can be alone as a start until you enjoy being active).
Car clubs you can meet good people but its very much passing interest folks (sunday meet and idle chit chat) unless you go for a specific marque and go on their driving holidays/make regular efforts.
Good luck, life isn't easy but it's getting over these hurdles that make you what you are.
I remember feeling that getting out of bed was an achievement, nevermind finding a hobby, getting into it and actually talking to people - was way too much effort with no point!
It's hard to get yourself into anything, I found making deals with myself was the only way I could do anything. My deal was, if I lie here til the count of 30, a slow count, then I've had a good minute of being there, and after that I have to get up. So, on 30, I'd say 'deals a deal' and roll myself up and out of bed.
If I get myself to the shop, I can then buy a Wispa as well as the milk and food I need. Reward based, really simple stuff, baby steps.
It's hard to get yourself into anything, I found making deals with myself was the only way I could do anything. My deal was, if I lie here til the count of 30, a slow count, then I've had a good minute of being there, and after that I have to get up. So, on 30, I'd say 'deals a deal' and roll myself up and out of bed.
If I get myself to the shop, I can then buy a Wispa as well as the milk and food I need. Reward based, really simple stuff, baby steps.
Turn7 said:
Not sure how this will pan out tbh....
Staring down the barrel of turning 50 in the next 7 days, I find myself wondering what its all about.
Been on Escilatopram for what feels like the last 6 years.
Never really had a career, or actually been really happy in work.
Finally got out of a dead end job only to find I hated the new role and feel sold out as origianl promises reneged upon.
Ive been in the current role since November and have never worked so hard in my life. I feel Ive completely lost my life and am doing everyting I can to find a new job.
I have a meeting set up with a potential new employer on Tuesday, and this wil be our third meeting. They have offered me a role I can do and the hours/commute are way better but I thinkt he final salary will end up about 2k less than currently.
Thats doesnt bother me as Im not a breadhead and need to get something out of what I do.
I think my real concern is that I dont feel like Ive ever actually been happy for a very long time and really want to stop feeling this way.
I originally felt my old job was holding me back, and after taking on my new role started to reduce/ come off Escitlatorpam.Whats a misdtke that was. Ended up feeling literally ready to end the whole deal.Never,ever, felt so dark, desolate and totally ready to end my life.
Im 100% my current job isn't what I want, although the dollar is good. The potential new role is all a bit vague but in a field I have some feel for and is very close to home....
I adore my wife and have no kids to worry about, and Mrs T7 has a solid career in the jewellery trade.
When at school I always wanted to be a vet, but my academics let me down I never fancied all those years at Uni tbh.
Consequently, I ended up working in agriculture, which covered most of the bases above other than earning a decent living.....
Following those years, I've pretty job hopped since, and thats where I am now and Im tired of it all TBH......
Sounds like maybe you could do with a job you enjoy which makes less money, I made that change years ago. I earn bugger all (well, enough to live), but do what I want and am happier doing it.Staring down the barrel of turning 50 in the next 7 days, I find myself wondering what its all about.
Been on Escilatopram for what feels like the last 6 years.
Never really had a career, or actually been really happy in work.
Finally got out of a dead end job only to find I hated the new role and feel sold out as origianl promises reneged upon.
Ive been in the current role since November and have never worked so hard in my life. I feel Ive completely lost my life and am doing everyting I can to find a new job.
I have a meeting set up with a potential new employer on Tuesday, and this wil be our third meeting. They have offered me a role I can do and the hours/commute are way better but I thinkt he final salary will end up about 2k less than currently.
Thats doesnt bother me as Im not a breadhead and need to get something out of what I do.
I think my real concern is that I dont feel like Ive ever actually been happy for a very long time and really want to stop feeling this way.
I originally felt my old job was holding me back, and after taking on my new role started to reduce/ come off Escitlatorpam.Whats a misdtke that was. Ended up feeling literally ready to end the whole deal.Never,ever, felt so dark, desolate and totally ready to end my life.
Im 100% my current job isn't what I want, although the dollar is good. The potential new role is all a bit vague but in a field I have some feel for and is very close to home....
I adore my wife and have no kids to worry about, and Mrs T7 has a solid career in the jewellery trade.
When at school I always wanted to be a vet, but my academics let me down I never fancied all those years at Uni tbh.
Consequently, I ended up working in agriculture, which covered most of the bases above other than earning a decent living.....
Following those years, I've pretty job hopped since, and thats where I am now and Im tired of it all TBH......
That's a long time to be on medication, they are only supposed to be temporary, have you thought about taking the next step to feeling a bit better by getting some Counselling/CBT whatever?
crazy about cars said:
just curious, anyone here experience constant anxiety (worrying) and also almost always have a sense of impending doom? Always believe that something terrible is going to happen and it's driving me mad.
Am I crazy?
I used to get like that but I found a book called "Things might go horribly wrong" and it was great. It might not work for everyone or every worry but I found it very helpful. A lot of the time I worried about things that were not really that important. Am I crazy?
It encourages you to just accept the worries but live around them. I've also found myself starting to analyse things a bit more. Work out what happens etc which was really useful for me
Obviously I'm not you which is why I hate giving advice but it worked really well for me
Mike22233 said:
If possible, find a hobby and try to stick to it. Eat well and see if you can cut booze right down a couple on Friday or Saturday after exercise.
Do you like or have any interest in: golf, football, rugby / rugby training, hillwalking, badminton, tennis, martial arts. There should be clubs for everything for most people depending where you live. Get some audiobooks and go for long walks (yes this can be alone as a start until you enjoy being active).
Car clubs you can meet good people but its very much passing interest folks (sunday meet and idle chit chat) unless you go for a specific marque and go on their driving holidays/make regular efforts.
Good luck, life isn't easy but it's getting over these hurdles that make you what you are.
Thanks, I did try to get into clubs etc but after being a loner type for so long I find it hard/awkward to take the first step and get to know more people. I'm also very bad at sports so I guess that doesn't help.Do you like or have any interest in: golf, football, rugby / rugby training, hillwalking, badminton, tennis, martial arts. There should be clubs for everything for most people depending where you live. Get some audiobooks and go for long walks (yes this can be alone as a start until you enjoy being active).
Car clubs you can meet good people but its very much passing interest folks (sunday meet and idle chit chat) unless you go for a specific marque and go on their driving holidays/make regular efforts.
Good luck, life isn't easy but it's getting over these hurdles that make you what you are.
However I will definitely try to go for more walks. The fresh air helps and if I'm tired after exercise I find that I sleep better.
richtea78 said:
I used to get like that but I found a book called "Things might go horribly wrong" and it was great. It might not work for everyone or every worry but I found it very helpful. A lot of the time I worried about things that were not really that important.
It encourages you to just accept the worries but live around them. I've also found myself starting to analyse things a bit more. Work out what happens etc which was really useful for me
Obviously I'm not you which is why I hate giving advice but it worked really well for me
I might have been recommended that book before... I've got a great book which helped a lot of people to quit drinking but I must say I didn't manage to finish the book. I find it hard to get into a book these days and prefer audiobooks or even watch videos etc. Maybe it has to do with my ADD :PIt encourages you to just accept the worries but live around them. I've also found myself starting to analyse things a bit more. Work out what happens etc which was really useful for me
Obviously I'm not you which is why I hate giving advice but it worked really well for me
However I do accept that I will need to train myself to manage the anxiety/worrying better.
y
Id love to find a job Id enjoy, but I dont really know myself what that job would be.
ShiningWit said:
Sounds like maybe you could do with a job you enjoy which makes less money, I made that change years ago. I earn bugger all (well, enough to live), but do what I want and am happier doing it.
That's a long time to be on medication, they are only supposed to be temporary, have you thought about taking the next step to feeling a bit better by getting some Counselling/CBT whatever?
Tried counselling with two seperate people and never really felt I was getting any benefit from it tbh.That's a long time to be on medication, they are only supposed to be temporary, have you thought about taking the next step to feeling a bit better by getting some Counselling/CBT whatever?
Id love to find a job Id enjoy, but I dont really know myself what that job would be.
Not posted in a while,
Got 4th funeral in just over 2weeks tomorrow, to say bye to my old childminder.
I was ready to go back to work towards end of april after being signed off sick for a month,
then my aunt died, followed by my wife's gran, followed by one of her clients and now my old childminder
so wife and dr agreed that i needed longer off work so i got another month sick line.
My current manager is unaproachable and unrealistic in her capacity and i made it clear on my long term sick review at work that i struggle to work with her. Work said they will move me onto another shift when i come back.
Now i have hit a big catch 22 and don't know what to do and the union seem usless and unhelpful.
My sickline ends on 21st of this month,
If i was returning to my current shift (with horrific manager) Then I'd be off the weekend of the 30th, Which we have a family gathering on the saturday and a very close friends wedding on the 31st.
If i go back onto the other shift, then i'd be due to work all weekend and due to not being back till 21st the chances of getting it off as holiday are minimal.
So what should i do?
I'm looking at it as 3 options,
1. Go back to current shift, have that weekend off BUT have issue with manager especially since i raised issues about her in my absence review.
2. Go back to other shift, work full weekend and MISS family gathering and very good friends wedding.
3. Extend sick line so i return to work on the 1st or 2nd
Part of me thinks just to go with option 3, but I hate being off as i'm starting to want to get back to work and on some days i feel i'm taking the piss with being off whilst other days I hardly function.
What do you guys think?
Option 1 and 2 aren't great for my mental health but neither is 3 really but I think its the lesser of the 3 evils.
Got 4th funeral in just over 2weeks tomorrow, to say bye to my old childminder.
I was ready to go back to work towards end of april after being signed off sick for a month,
then my aunt died, followed by my wife's gran, followed by one of her clients and now my old childminder
so wife and dr agreed that i needed longer off work so i got another month sick line.
My current manager is unaproachable and unrealistic in her capacity and i made it clear on my long term sick review at work that i struggle to work with her. Work said they will move me onto another shift when i come back.
Now i have hit a big catch 22 and don't know what to do and the union seem usless and unhelpful.
My sickline ends on 21st of this month,
If i was returning to my current shift (with horrific manager) Then I'd be off the weekend of the 30th, Which we have a family gathering on the saturday and a very close friends wedding on the 31st.
If i go back onto the other shift, then i'd be due to work all weekend and due to not being back till 21st the chances of getting it off as holiday are minimal.
So what should i do?
I'm looking at it as 3 options,
1. Go back to current shift, have that weekend off BUT have issue with manager especially since i raised issues about her in my absence review.
2. Go back to other shift, work full weekend and MISS family gathering and very good friends wedding.
3. Extend sick line so i return to work on the 1st or 2nd
Part of me thinks just to go with option 3, but I hate being off as i'm starting to want to get back to work and on some days i feel i'm taking the piss with being off whilst other days I hardly function.
What do you guys think?
Option 1 and 2 aren't great for my mental health but neither is 3 really but I think its the lesser of the 3 evils.
richtea78 said:
Wow, read a few sample pages I can feel the connection. Great book, I will get it 
Thanks for recommendation!Thinking of getting a Kindle as there's just no more space in my house for more books...
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