Discussion
Opara said:
oceanview said:
Opera, the things that have helped me massively with conquering severe anxiety, has been lots of exercise- even just going for a long walk to begin with, if you cant face much more.
Also, stay away from alcohol-altogether. I used to "self-medicate" with alcohol which is just adding more fuel to the fire.
I am also very lucky to have a really supportive family, who've helped and stuck by me in my worst hours.
I hope you can explain to your family just how bad things have got for you.
In the last few months, I've gone from not being able to leaving bed, shaking and heart beating furiously all day long, to feeling really great- fit, strong and healthy again.
I know to begin with, just even thinking about doing the above seemed impossible but, just begin with very small positive steps and you will see improvements
I don't know if you've consulted with your GP but, if they think you need medication, don't refuse it like many people do ( they think its "bad" or weak, etc). I know its helped me at times and ive not had any problems with it like you hear about.
People wouldn't think twice about meds for physical ailments but things to do with the mind seem to bring out a tablet fear in many!
I wish you well and you WILL get to feel better- even if that seems impossible at the moment.
Thanks for the tips , I've not drank for a while now , not that I was ever a heavy drinker. I try to walk most places now and make an effort to eat better.The biggest problem for me is my brain just isn't functioning anymore , I've become forgetful , and it takes me numerous goes to take anything in.All my uni work these last few months have been a real struggle, even the stuff I could do easily not long ago.Also, stay away from alcohol-altogether. I used to "self-medicate" with alcohol which is just adding more fuel to the fire.
I am also very lucky to have a really supportive family, who've helped and stuck by me in my worst hours.
I hope you can explain to your family just how bad things have got for you.
In the last few months, I've gone from not being able to leaving bed, shaking and heart beating furiously all day long, to feeling really great- fit, strong and healthy again.
I know to begin with, just even thinking about doing the above seemed impossible but, just begin with very small positive steps and you will see improvements
I don't know if you've consulted with your GP but, if they think you need medication, don't refuse it like many people do ( they think its "bad" or weak, etc). I know its helped me at times and ive not had any problems with it like you hear about.
People wouldn't think twice about meds for physical ailments but things to do with the mind seem to bring out a tablet fear in many!
I wish you well and you WILL get to feel better- even if that seems impossible at the moment.
Would a doctor be able to help with anything like that?
Thanks
I used to have mornings where I wasnt sure if I was shaking because I was cold or because I had to get up and do something I really didnt want to do. And I didnt know what I didnt want to do, I was just in Flight mode
A doctor can definitely help in at least 2 ways, one by giving you a space to get things off your chest and get it out there and two, give you some options on how to start getting better. There might not be a silver bullet cure, but I'd have thought medication would be a good first line option to help you short term, to get a hold on your studies and able to live day to day life a bit better. A more longer term solution might take more time to figure out, and will probably have some dead ends, but it's worth persevering with
andy-xr said:
The thing that helped me was beta blockers, they took away that rising wave of anxiety and nausea that put me on the edge of my seat and made every muscle in my body tense up. I still got the stomach turn, but the reaction to it went. They're only short term though and they'll turn you into Mr Soft downstairs, but that comes back once they've gone through your system. I've never really been shy of taking anything though, different people look at things in different ways, what's important is that you recognise something's not right, whether you know what it is yet isnt that important, and that you dont dwell on it. A circular thought pattern is a really easy trap to fall into where you're fixated on 'there's something wrong with me'
I used to have mornings where I wasnt sure if I was shaking because I was cold or because I had to get up and do something I really didnt want to do. And I didnt know what I didnt want to do, I was just in Flight mode
A doctor can definitely help in at least 2 ways, one by giving you a space to get things off your chest and get it out there and two, give you some options on how to start getting better. There might not be a silver bullet cure, but I'd have thought medication would be a good first line option to help you short term, to get a hold on your studies and able to live day to day life a bit better. A more longer term solution might take more time to figure out, and will probably have some dead ends, but it's worth persevering with
Thanks , I just booked an appointment for tomorrow , not sure why but I got all emotional on the phone could barely get the words out.They wanted me to see a special type of nurse , I wasn't really composed enough to argue.I used to have mornings where I wasnt sure if I was shaking because I was cold or because I had to get up and do something I really didnt want to do. And I didnt know what I didnt want to do, I was just in Flight mode
A doctor can definitely help in at least 2 ways, one by giving you a space to get things off your chest and get it out there and two, give you some options on how to start getting better. There might not be a silver bullet cure, but I'd have thought medication would be a good first line option to help you short term, to get a hold on your studies and able to live day to day life a bit better. A more longer term solution might take more time to figure out, and will probably have some dead ends, but it's worth persevering with
Opara said:
Thanks , I just booked an appointment for tomorrow , not sure why but I got all emotional on the phone could barely get the words out.They wanted me to see a special type of nurse , I wasn't really composed enough to argue.
Well done- that's good that you've got an appointment lined up. That's your first step to feeling well again.
Ruskie said:
Brave post. I hope things get better for you.I'm sure it's been mentioned in this thread but I'm having good results with meditation/mindfulness training. I get it all from books (and audio) so I haven't had proper teaching but I would recommend it for depression and anxiety. The problem is its the last thing you want to do when you are in a bad place, but if you persevere (the book I am currently reading, by a Buddhist monk, recommends lots of short meditations over the course of a day) then it begins to change the way you see things. And apparently actually changes the way the brain operates.
Well.
The black dog took a f
king great big bite out of me yesterday.
I have the occasional blips like I suppose we all do but I haven't had anything this bad for quite a while.
This was full on and kicked off by a little problem with the car.
The worst thing is that I made all the rookie mistakes afterwards.
I ruminated about it endlessly, beat myself up letting it roll into the evening which then led to me having a drink or three after being off it for goodness knows how many months.
This of course didn't help and brought the suicide thoughts from the back of my head to the front. Rope or knife, knife or rope etc.
Went to bed drunk at around 1am. (it turns out it only takes 3 drinks now) Awake again at 5am.
There is a some good news though.
I've had these times before and it has sometimes been months to really get over them and drag myself out of the hole but today I have gradually started to feel better about things again and been able to look at things objectively.
My meds were changed a few months back so it looks like the new ones are helping.
I never thought I'd be doing one of these posts on here but I felt the need to share. Sorry.
The black dog took a f
king great big bite out of me yesterday.I have the occasional blips like I suppose we all do but I haven't had anything this bad for quite a while.
This was full on and kicked off by a little problem with the car.
The worst thing is that I made all the rookie mistakes afterwards.
I ruminated about it endlessly, beat myself up letting it roll into the evening which then led to me having a drink or three after being off it for goodness knows how many months.
This of course didn't help and brought the suicide thoughts from the back of my head to the front. Rope or knife, knife or rope etc.
Went to bed drunk at around 1am. (it turns out it only takes 3 drinks now) Awake again at 5am.
There is a some good news though.
I've had these times before and it has sometimes been months to really get over them and drag myself out of the hole but today I have gradually started to feel better about things again and been able to look at things objectively.
My meds were changed a few months back so it looks like the new ones are helping.
I never thought I'd be doing one of these posts on here but I felt the need to share. Sorry.
Regular readers of this thread will be familiar with the video I have posted in my blog but it is as powerful now as when I first watched it.
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
Semi regular poster using a different account here ( sorry i don't know why but i just couldn't post under my normal forum name)
Im struggling at the moment.
I don't know why.. there is no reason now why this should hit me like it has. Moved house a couple of months back, no major stresses in that other than renovations taking a while and not having a kitchen as such but its not been stressing me out.
Job is great, money is good, the mrs is wonderful.
for some reason tho this bloody black dog is stalking me like a lion! Ive slipped down the path of self harm and as an adult its more than shameful. People have started to ask whats wrong as although i didn't think i had shown anything on the outside apparently i seem distracted. I can't tell them. Nothing is wrong, intact everything is right!
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
How can i go to the Drs and say that…? Id get told to man up and laughed out the door. I see people with serious problems just coping and getting by.. still smiling.
Im struggling at the moment.
I don't know why.. there is no reason now why this should hit me like it has. Moved house a couple of months back, no major stresses in that other than renovations taking a while and not having a kitchen as such but its not been stressing me out.
Job is great, money is good, the mrs is wonderful.
for some reason tho this bloody black dog is stalking me like a lion! Ive slipped down the path of self harm and as an adult its more than shameful. People have started to ask whats wrong as although i didn't think i had shown anything on the outside apparently i seem distracted. I can't tell them. Nothing is wrong, intact everything is right!
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
How can i go to the Drs and say that…? Id get told to man up and laughed out the door. I see people with serious problems just coping and getting by.. still smiling.
abc42523 said:
Semi regular poster using a different account here ( sorry i don't know why but i just couldn't post under my normal forum name)
Im struggling at the moment.
I don't know why.. there is no reason now why this should hit me like it has. Moved house a couple of months back, no major stresses in that other than renovations taking a while and not having a kitchen as such but its not been stressing me out.
Job is great, money is good, the mrs is wonderful.
for some reason tho this bloody black dog is stalking me like a lion! Ive slipped down the path of self harm and as an adult its more than shameful. People have started to ask whats wrong as although i didn't think i had shown anything on the outside apparently i seem distracted. I can't tell them. Nothing is wrong, intact everything is right!
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
How can i go to the Drs and say that…? Id get told to man up and laughed out the door. I see people with serious problems just coping and getting by.. still smiling.
As you may have noticed by now, the common theme is that no such response from your doctor will be forthcoming. Instead, they will take you seriously and begin to help you take steps to address whatever is going on in your life that makes you feel like this. And if you are self-harming, they will get on the case asap.Im struggling at the moment.
I don't know why.. there is no reason now why this should hit me like it has. Moved house a couple of months back, no major stresses in that other than renovations taking a while and not having a kitchen as such but its not been stressing me out.
Job is great, money is good, the mrs is wonderful.
for some reason tho this bloody black dog is stalking me like a lion! Ive slipped down the path of self harm and as an adult its more than shameful. People have started to ask whats wrong as although i didn't think i had shown anything on the outside apparently i seem distracted. I can't tell them. Nothing is wrong, intact everything is right!
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
How can i go to the Drs and say that…? Id get told to man up and laughed out the door. I see people with serious problems just coping and getting by.. still smiling.
abc42523 said:
Semi regular poster using a different account here ( sorry i don't know why but i just couldn't post under my normal forum name)
Im struggling at the moment.
I don't know why.. there is no reason now why this should hit me like it has. Moved house a couple of months back, no major stresses in that other than renovations taking a while and not having a kitchen as such but its not been stressing me out.
Job is great, money is good, the mrs is wonderful.
for some reason tho this bloody black dog is stalking me like a lion! Ive slipped down the path of self harm and as an adult its more than shameful. People have started to ask whats wrong as although i didn't think i had shown anything on the outside apparently i seem distracted. I can't tell them. Nothing is wrong, intact everything is right!
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
How can i go to the Drs and say that…? Id get told to man up and laughed out the door. I see people with serious problems just coping and getting by.. still smiling.
You definitely would not get laughed out the door. If it feels real, then it is real. I hope you can find the strength to get some help. It is crucifying when the fog comes down and for me it comes at different times, with little apparent cause. Im struggling at the moment.
I don't know why.. there is no reason now why this should hit me like it has. Moved house a couple of months back, no major stresses in that other than renovations taking a while and not having a kitchen as such but its not been stressing me out.
Job is great, money is good, the mrs is wonderful.
for some reason tho this bloody black dog is stalking me like a lion! Ive slipped down the path of self harm and as an adult its more than shameful. People have started to ask whats wrong as although i didn't think i had shown anything on the outside apparently i seem distracted. I can't tell them. Nothing is wrong, intact everything is right!
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
How can i go to the Drs and say that…? Id get told to man up and laughed out the door. I see people with serious problems just coping and getting by.. still smiling.
Keep holding on, but do seek help.
abc42523 said:
I should be the happiest man on the planet but for some reason i find myself sat hugging myself at the bottom of the shower.
^^^ Tell your doctor that. It's not really depression if you've got an obvious reason to feel awful - real depression is a chemical thing that you cannot "man up" out of. You sound like you are there, though you'll probably get the "tick boxes questionnaire" to confirm it.Self harm and/or alcohol are not long term fixes.
Talking can help. You've started. Go on.
The drugs can help you see more objectively. Take them, find the reasons, make the changes, stop taking them.
Many thanks for the kind responses.
I feel so terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and i know i shouldn't but as grown ups we are not meant to do this kind of thing… its reserved for the playground, at least in my narrow minded head.
I feel very numb, my cognitive functions are slipping.. my memory is super sharp normally but I'm struggling to remember what i had for lunch yesterday or what prices i agreed with clients. Easily over come but writing things down but I've not experienced "vacantness" to this extent before.
I feel a little hopeless if I'm honest.. I've sat trying to write this for 10 mins my hands just resting on the keyboard unable to make my mind concentrate on typing, instead it flickers to distant places or where i should go on holiday, what i should cook… all things in 5 mins i will struggle to recall.
I don't currently have a GP as i recently moved house. I should sign up but its a welcome excuse.
I have 2 people inside my head ones clear as day happy and functioning.. the other hell bent of self distraction and interference… its like trying to perform surgery with a 2 year old wanting your attention at the same time.
does any of that make sense to anyone?
Im really sorry to hijack this thread away from the people that need it. Please tell me to go away if you want.
I feel so terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and i know i shouldn't but as grown ups we are not meant to do this kind of thing… its reserved for the playground, at least in my narrow minded head.
I feel very numb, my cognitive functions are slipping.. my memory is super sharp normally but I'm struggling to remember what i had for lunch yesterday or what prices i agreed with clients. Easily over come but writing things down but I've not experienced "vacantness" to this extent before.
I feel a little hopeless if I'm honest.. I've sat trying to write this for 10 mins my hands just resting on the keyboard unable to make my mind concentrate on typing, instead it flickers to distant places or where i should go on holiday, what i should cook… all things in 5 mins i will struggle to recall.
I don't currently have a GP as i recently moved house. I should sign up but its a welcome excuse.
I have 2 people inside my head ones clear as day happy and functioning.. the other hell bent of self distraction and interference… its like trying to perform surgery with a 2 year old wanting your attention at the same time.
does any of that make sense to anyone?
Im really sorry to hijack this thread away from the people that need it. Please tell me to go away if you want.
Everything you write makes perfect sense.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Sometimes life trips you up a bit but thankfully help is out there.
You've taken the first step by talking about it.
Get signed up to a GP asap and they will listen, understand and help.
Good luck and keep us posted.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Sometimes life trips you up a bit but thankfully help is out there.
You've taken the first step by talking about it.
Get signed up to a GP asap and they will listen, understand and help.
Good luck and keep us posted.
abc42523 said:
Many thanks for the kind responses.
I feel so terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and i know i shouldn't but as grown ups we are not meant to do this kind of thing… its reserved for the playground, at least in my narrow minded head.
I feel very numb, my cognitive functions are slipping.. my memory is super sharp normally but I'm struggling to remember what i had for lunch yesterday or what prices i agreed with clients. Easily over come but writing things down but I've not experienced "vacantness" to this extent before.
I feel a little hopeless if I'm honest.. I've sat trying to write this for 10 mins my hands just resting on the keyboard unable to make my mind concentrate on typing, instead it flickers to distant places or where i should go on holiday, what i should cook… all things in 5 mins i will struggle to recall.
I don't currently have a GP as i recently moved house. I should sign up but its a welcome excuse.
I have 2 people inside my head ones clear as day happy and functioning.. the other hell bent of self distraction and interference… its like trying to perform surgery with a 2 year old wanting your attention at the same time.
does any of that make sense to anyone?
Im really sorry to hijack this thread away from the people that need it. Please tell me to go away if you want.
The common theme on this thread is there are lots of people struggling with similar things. I am the last person to dish advice out, if you have read my blog you will know why but defo tell your Mrs and see the GP.I feel so terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and i know i shouldn't but as grown ups we are not meant to do this kind of thing… its reserved for the playground, at least in my narrow minded head.
I feel very numb, my cognitive functions are slipping.. my memory is super sharp normally but I'm struggling to remember what i had for lunch yesterday or what prices i agreed with clients. Easily over come but writing things down but I've not experienced "vacantness" to this extent before.
I feel a little hopeless if I'm honest.. I've sat trying to write this for 10 mins my hands just resting on the keyboard unable to make my mind concentrate on typing, instead it flickers to distant places or where i should go on holiday, what i should cook… all things in 5 mins i will struggle to recall.
I don't currently have a GP as i recently moved house. I should sign up but its a welcome excuse.
I have 2 people inside my head ones clear as day happy and functioning.. the other hell bent of self distraction and interference… its like trying to perform surgery with a 2 year old wanting your attention at the same time.
does any of that make sense to anyone?
Im really sorry to hijack this thread away from the people that need it. Please tell me to go away if you want.
My latest blog post is around music that helps me through.
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
Well I was doing well, but I can feel it slowly unraveling again.
Work is manic, I think the turbo on my car is fked and I'm having constant financial problems.
I think I've come to the conclusion that my life is pretty st and I don't know what to do to resolve it. I'm now 38 (39 in a few months) and I have come to realise that I'm pretty much fked because
1. I don't own my own house and probably never will, having given up the chance when things were more manageable to bail my dad out financially with my deposit. Said dad then royally fked me over by choosing his new wife over family and disappearing off the face of the earth 13 years ago.
2. The only member of my family that is still alive or is in contact with me is my sister, who lives a 7 hr plane ride away
3. I am employed in an industry (healthcare) that I love, but barely pays me enough to get through most months.This is even with being careful. Not very PH, I appreciate, but we can't all be multimillionaire directors with supercars, mansions and skiing holidays.
4. I'm totally at a loss regarding friendships,as I don't really have any friends.Used to, not just now though, as I end up not being able to cope and find I just want to run away from it all.
5.Relationships and dating are also hopeless as I think women just don't find me very attractive. The first 3 reasons are a massive handicap and I can't really see any way they can change, so I've pretty much given up and resigned myself to never having a happy ending.
Quite honestly, if you could give me a pill that would ensure I never woke up I'd take it.The only thing stopping me is the upset It'd probably cause.
too much upset.
Life really is st, isn't it?
Work is manic, I think the turbo on my car is fked and I'm having constant financial problems. I think I've come to the conclusion that my life is pretty s
t and I don't know what to do to resolve it. I'm now 38 (39 in a few months) and I have come to realise that I'm pretty much fked because1. I don't own my own house and probably never will, having given up the chance when things were more manageable to bail my dad out financially with my deposit. Said dad then royally f
ked me over by choosing his new wife over family and disappearing off the face of the earth 13 years ago. 2. The only member of my family that is still alive or is in contact with me is my sister, who lives a 7 hr plane ride away
3. I am employed in an industry (healthcare) that I love, but barely pays me enough to get through most months.This is even with being careful. Not very PH, I appreciate, but we can't all be multimillionaire directors with supercars, mansions and skiing holidays.
4. I'm totally at a loss regarding friendships,as I don't really have any friends.Used to, not just now though, as I end up not being able to cope and find I just want to run away from it all.
5.Relationships and dating are also hopeless as I think women just don't find me very attractive. The first 3 reasons are a massive handicap and I can't really see any way they can change, so I've pretty much given up and resigned myself to never having a happy ending.
Quite honestly, if you could give me a pill that would ensure I never woke up I'd take it.The only thing stopping me is the upset It'd probably cause.
too much upset.
Life really is s
t, isn't it?jogger1976 said:
Well I was doing well, but I can feel it slowly unraveling again. Work is manic, I think the turbo on my car is fked and I'm having constant financial problems.
I think I've come to the conclusion that my life is pretty st and I don't know what to do to resolve it. I'm now 38 (39 in a few months) and I have come to realise that I'm pretty much fked because
1. I don't own my own house and probably never will, having given up the chance when things were more manageable to bail my dad out financially with my deposit. Said dad then royally fked me over by choosing his new wife over family and disappearing off the face of the earth 13 years ago.
2. The only member of my family that is still alive or is in contact with me is my sister, who lives a 7 hr plane ride away
3. I am employed in an industry (healthcare) that I love, but barely pays me enough to get through most months.This is even with being careful. Not very PH, I appreciate, but we can't all be multimillionaire directors with supercars, mansions and skiing holidays.
4. I'm totally at a loss regarding friendships,as I don't really have any friends.Used to, not just now though, as I end up not being able to cope and find I just want to run away from it all.
5.Relationships and dating are also hopeless as I think women just don't find me very attractive. The first 3 reasons are a massive handicap and I can't really see any way they can change, so I've pretty much given up and resigned myself to never having a happy ending.
Quite honestly, if you could give me a pill that would ensure I never woke up I'd take it.The only thing stopping me is the upset It'd probably cause.
too much upset.
Life really is st, isn't it?
Sorry to hear of your troubles. Nothing much I can say without sounding hypocritical. Work is manic, I think the turbo on my car is fked and I'm having constant financial problems. I think I've come to the conclusion that my life is pretty s
t and I don't know what to do to resolve it. I'm now 38 (39 in a few months) and I have come to realise that I'm pretty much fked because1. I don't own my own house and probably never will, having given up the chance when things were more manageable to bail my dad out financially with my deposit. Said dad then royally f
ked me over by choosing his new wife over family and disappearing off the face of the earth 13 years ago. 2. The only member of my family that is still alive or is in contact with me is my sister, who lives a 7 hr plane ride away
3. I am employed in an industry (healthcare) that I love, but barely pays me enough to get through most months.This is even with being careful. Not very PH, I appreciate, but we can't all be multimillionaire directors with supercars, mansions and skiing holidays.
4. I'm totally at a loss regarding friendships,as I don't really have any friends.Used to, not just now though, as I end up not being able to cope and find I just want to run away from it all.
5.Relationships and dating are also hopeless as I think women just don't find me very attractive. The first 3 reasons are a massive handicap and I can't really see any way they can change, so I've pretty much given up and resigned myself to never having a happy ending.
Quite honestly, if you could give me a pill that would ensure I never woke up I'd take it.The only thing stopping me is the upset It'd probably cause.
too much upset.
Life really is s
t, isn't it?Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff