Discussion
Ruskie said:
Your last blog is worrying, please go and speak to someone or seek immediate help - not someone you have spoken to before. You are not a bad person, if your blogs and current occupation are true (and there is no reason to believe they are not), then you provide a positive contribution to society - and though you don't value yourself right now I bet there are a lot of people who do, and who you have a direct and significant (positive) impact on their life.
I have hit a bit of a 'pot-hole' in life's highway recently and have been looking for answers to why I have been reflecting on the past in a 'wish I had' or 'I should have' kind of way, and worry about the future far too much, as if something aweful is bound to happen.
This thread has made me realise that a lot people suffer from depression and anxiety but the majority don't admit to it or recognise it - it takes a strong character to admit they have a problem. Rather than confront the demon they find an alternative outlet - might be positive like an active hobby or supporting others, might be less positive like hiding in a pint glass or worse. You don't have to look too hard to see signs of it, once successful career's people down on their luck, once strong partnerships with seemingly nothing in common, successful sports people (pro and amateur) who once lived for their sport but can't even spectate at it - I could go on with lots of examples.
Expectations on everyday life and success are high (and usually self imposed), the speed at which the world seems to move accelerates on a daily basis, the pressure we all apply to ourselves can easily add to the feeling that we should have worked harder/been smarter when we were younger, or will struggle to achieve/keep up in the future - I think I am safe in saying that the majority of people feel like this - even if they don't admit it; I am * age, I should be a ....... by now, How will I ever retire on my pension?, I should be living in a bigger house by now, I wish I could afford a ... car, I can't seem to hold a relationship together.....etc etc etc
Take some comfort in the fact you are not alone, please persevere with finding a way out - clearly the path you have tread so far has not helped or worked as well as you would have hoped, seek an alternative route and don't discount anything (legal and sensible!) at this point.
The only point in time we have is in the now, the past is the past and can't be changed, the future has not happened yet (regardless of how you project it) - so the only time you can influence is the now.....it's not easy to hear but it is the only point in time you control. I totally accept that you are not in a place where positive action is easy or obvious, but do one small thing today that might spark a positive change for you, then another tomorrow - but get help.
Ruskie said:
Yeah I'm ok. Plodding on.
Ruskie, being alone is very much part of the human condition. It is part of all our lives in some form or other. Sometimes it comes as a blessed relief from a hectic lifestyle and/or stress. Other times, it sits in us like a lump of unfathomable gloop that leaves us utterly empty. But even though you were alone, even though you may feel completely alone right now, part of you is still very much alive and connected to the world around you. Whether it be through life interactions, or PH or your blog, you are still connecting and remained connected to the world around you.Hi all, this week I felt like I've hit a low point, I'm supposed to be on holiday for two weeks from work to get away from stress but I feel drained, my ex partners made this week feel like hell would be a better place to be, it's been stressful and just found myself drinking most nights to try feel some comfort, I've spent every night on the sofa or when I've been sober I've found myself going to the beach just for peace and quiet.
I'm starting to feel resentment towards those I care about and it seems like it's not going to stop, I've tried counselling but the counsellor stopped appointments. No idea why. I feel.... Empty. Not even the infectious smile from my daughter makes me feel happy anymore and I don't like it one little bit , sorry for the rant but felt like it had to be let out.
I'm starting to feel resentment towards those I care about and it seems like it's not going to stop, I've tried counselling but the counsellor stopped appointments. No idea why. I feel.... Empty. Not even the infectious smile from my daughter makes me feel happy anymore and I don't like it one little bit , sorry for the rant but felt like it had to be let out.
Edited by Nervasport on Saturday 13th June 18:03
Nervasport said:
Hi all, this week I felt like I've hit a low point, I'm supposed to be on holiday for two weeks from work to get away from stress but I feel drained, my ex partners made this week feel like hell would be a better place to be, it's been stressful and just found myself drinking most nights to try feel some comfort, I've spent every night on the sofa or when I've been sober I've found myself going to the beach just for peace and quiet.
I'm starting to feel resentment towards those I care about and it seems like it's not going to stop, I've tried counselling but the counsellor stopped appointments. No idea why. I feel.... Empty. Not even the infectious smile from my daughter makes me feel happy anymore and I don't like it one little bit , sorry for the rant but felt like it had to be let out.
Welcome, your in good company here with many posters offering fantastic advice. I'm not one of them though but I hope you feel better for unloading here.I'm starting to feel resentment towards those I care about and it seems like it's not going to stop, I've tried counselling but the counsellor stopped appointments. No idea why. I feel.... Empty. Not even the infectious smile from my daughter makes me feel happy anymore and I don't like it one little bit , sorry for the rant but felt like it had to be let out.
Edited by Nervasport on Saturday 13th June 18:03
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Thank you for those who continue to read. The blog passed 3000 visitors and 8000 views recently.
I am not a fan of pills = problem solved attack, but an unlikely source may help with depression.
http://www.medicaldaily.com/mental-health-benefits...
i surfer from psoriasis which effects my whole body, interestingly i read an article on bacteria leaking from the intestines into blood causing it, so the gut may have more of an impact on wellbeing than we currently think.
http://www.medicaldaily.com/mental-health-benefits...
i surfer from psoriasis which effects my whole body, interestingly i read an article on bacteria leaking from the intestines into blood causing it, so the gut may have more of an impact on wellbeing than we currently think.
Edited by The Spruce goose on Sunday 14th June 11:32
Joey Ramone said:
Oakey
You write well, and you appear highly intelligent. Is there any particular reason that you are earning minimum wage?
Just curious.
A while back I went into business with someone that turned out to be a massive tYou write well, and you appear highly intelligent. Is there any particular reason that you are earning minimum wage?
Just curious.
t. I burnt a lot of bridges in doing so and when he eventually screwed me over a few years later it was difficult getting work from those companies I'd worked for previously. I did manage to find work with another company, ironically it was with someone who had worked for me who I'd sacked for pocketing cash deposits, but he sort of took advantage of my situation and paid me less than what I should be paid. He's actually no longer there after his business partner ousted him after he caught him stealing (surprise surprise!) so it's something I really need to address.Part of the problem however, is also worrying how that conversation will go as with everything else that's gone on and is going on my confidence is kind of at an all time low.
Edited by Oakey on Sunday 14th June 17:53
Oakey said:
A while back I went into business with someone that turned out to be a massive tt. I burnt a lot of bridges in doing so and when he eventually screwed me over a few years later it was difficult getting work from those companies I'd worked for previously. I did manage to find work with another company, ironically it was with someone who had worked for me who I'd sacked for pocketing cash deposits, but he sort of took advantage of my situation and paid me less than what I should be paid. He's actually no longer there after his business partner ousted hi, after he caught him stealing (surprise surprise!) so it's something I really need to address.
Part of the problem however, is also worrying how that conversation will go as with everything else that's gone on and is going on my confidence is kind of at an all time low.
Well, nothing to lose, I would suggest. If it's any consolation, I also took a risk in leaving one job for another, a risk that didn't work out and which led to an horrific depressive episode earlier this year. It nearly finished me off but I managed to get my old job back. Even if I hadn't, I like to think I would have survived one way or the other.t. I burnt a lot of bridges in doing so and when he eventually screwed me over a few years later it was difficult getting work from those companies I'd worked for previously. I did manage to find work with another company, ironically it was with someone who had worked for me who I'd sacked for pocketing cash deposits, but he sort of took advantage of my situation and paid me less than what I should be paid. He's actually no longer there after his business partner ousted hi, after he caught him stealing (surprise surprise!) so it's something I really need to address.Part of the problem however, is also worrying how that conversation will go as with everything else that's gone on and is going on my confidence is kind of at an all time low.
Have the conversation. If you're as switched on as you appear, your boss won't want to let you go, and will consider your request reasonable at the very least.
The Spruce goose said:
I am not a fan of pills = problem solved attack, but an unlikely source may help with depression.
http://www.medicaldaily.com/mental-health-benefits...
i surfer from psoriasis which effects my whole body, interestingly i read an article on bacteria leaking from the intestines into blood causing it, so the gut may have more of an impact on wellbeing than we currently think.
I have Crohns. You don't need to tell me the impact the stomach can have! I think it's all increasingly connected. Well it's always been connected but we are now getting better at understanding the connections http://www.medicaldaily.com/mental-health-benefits...
i surfer from psoriasis which effects my whole body, interestingly i read an article on bacteria leaking from the intestines into blood causing it, so the gut may have more of an impact on wellbeing than we currently think.
Edited by The Spruce goose on Sunday 14th June 11:32
longshot said:
I think that will strike a chord with many. I know it does with me.
Do you know what kick started feeling low or has it just crept up on you?
Oh, and good on you for seeing the GP. It took me years and years before I realised/admitted something was wrong.
I don't think anything kick started it, as I have tried to think about this before and really struggled to put my finger on it. It sort of crept up a couple of years ago, got much worse around six months after that, and only now have I had a bit of a lightbulb moment in terms of thinking speaking to someone about it may be the right thing to do. Fate may have something to do with it, not long after making my original post the internet died at my office and the redundant link failed to come up so I nipped off to call the GP and got the last appointment which was for this morning. I am really hoping that I get somewhere with this.Do you know what kick started feeling low or has it just crept up on you?
Oh, and good on you for seeing the GP. It took me years and years before I realised/admitted something was wrong.
twing said:
This bit, along with the massive ball of nerves, well done with the GP though
Indeed, like a horrible lump in your chest/throat area.Info for those interested in what happens when you go to the GP: I had the appointment today with a few questions about how I had feeling and a number to call. In the GP's office, we had a frank chat about how I'd felt, along with a list of questions I was asked. When I phoned the number after getting home and having breakfast, they explained what they'd be able to offer me in terms of someone to talk to on a more regular basis, which after this week I will be doing to try and get around how I have felt. I'll be going for the first time next Tuesday morning.
I am trying to do what I can for myself though, as I was advised to try and think about things I did before to stay happy, and do them. I'm not working at all this week so trying to keep myself above the water with a bit of mountain biking, running, Skyrim, listening to some music and other stuff that I used to really love and have since failed to extract any joy from. Making lists helps me.
Ruskie said:
Whatever "it" is it's not all there is, the chapter analogy above is very good 
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