Depression

Author
Discussion

Mexican cuties

686 posts

121 months

Tuesday 4th August 2015
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Love how honest and at times so sad this topic is but can help a lot of people x

maxxy5

771 posts

163 months

Tuesday 4th August 2015
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Do any of you have experience with 'guided imagery' or hypnosis? There are loads of videos on youtube. It all sounds very California new age, the uptight Britisher in me hates it! But I'm finding it interesting.

I came across guided imagery when reading about the 'expectation fulfilment theory of dreaming' which is also interesting, if you're into the psychology of mental health - http://why-we-dream.com/index.htm

tonyvid

9,869 posts

242 months

Wednesday 5th August 2015
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andy-xr said:
tonyvid said:
All my stuff... frown
It's hard to not be insular when you're in a close relationship with someone, especially the social aspect. I've been burned there before, and now I have my friends, which are separate from her friends. Not that she cant ever meet them, but they were friends with me and still remain that way where I spend more time with them than she does, rather than friends we've either both met together or her friends that now know me. She has her friends too, and I want some distance from them. I have 1 really really close friend, and a couple of others that I could say anything to. I dont think people tend to have that many, you just cant have time to have a proper understanding friendship if you're floating around 20-30 mates

As to the walls or barriers being up, I think that's a natural reaction. You only really stick your hand in the fire once, you dont need to do it again. But that assumes you dont want your hand heating up to 300 degrees, and the heart wants different things. Sometimes it has to be burned and you get hurt a few times along the way, but it gets the warming it needs. Stick it out there again
Thanks for your thoughts and words Andy-xr, you make a lot of good points and it's good to know it's not just me smile

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Thursday 6th August 2015
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https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

Not a good day but I am trying at least.

maxxy5

771 posts

163 months

Friday 7th August 2015
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Well I've been reading more about the 'human givens' approach to mental health and it's very interesting. The psychologists behind it link depression to the REM (dream) state of sleeping, which they believe tries to resolve unresolved needs or anxieties from when you are awake. This is the purpose of dreams. It's known that depressed people have a lot more REM sleep, thought to be because they are so wound up during the day, and less deep sleep - the sleep state in which you are re-energised. During REM state the thing which keeps you interested and motivated in things during the waking world - the 'orientation response' - is constantly firing, and by the time you wake up, your orientation response is worn out. This is why you sleep too much (or too little) and feel like crap in the morning, with no motivation, so the depressive cycle continues. I know exactly the feeling they are talking about...

Interestingly they are clear that depression causes chemical imbalances, but that it is not caused by chemical imbalances.

Here are the links:

http://www.lift-depression.com/
http://www.why-we-dream.com/
http://www.hgi.org.uk/


"... Incessant worrying about something that can’t be immediately solved generates unresolved emotional arousal that has to be deactivated in order to complete the biological arousal/dearousal circuit in our brains. If action is not taken during the day to dearouse the autonomic nervous system, it is done metaphorically by dreaming.

When you wake up feeling like this — not refreshed and with no motivation — it’s because your brain is exhausted from too much REM sleep and not enough slow wave sleep to reenergize it. The sleep pattern is unbalanced, which is why we can say that depression is a REM sleep disorder.

Depression is physically exhausting due to the decreased amount of restorative slow-wave sleep, and mentally exhausting due to the increased firing of the orientation response (which is linked to our motivation and attention capacities) during dreaming.

Stop the worrying and the depression goes away."

twing

4,991 posts

130 months

Friday 7th August 2015
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Thanks for the update Ruskie. All of your posts have struck a cord with me at some point. In this one it was the bit about not knowing what will happen each day at work. This is the bit that makes me wake up with that ball of nerves which stays with me til I get home.

The post about sleep is interesting, many thanks, I'll work through the links when I have time.

ThrottleBod

258 posts

148 months

Sunday 9th August 2015
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I've been following this thread from the beginning but never got around to posting.

I've been suffering with depression/anxiety as long as I can remember even though I didn't always realise what it was. I'm 27 now and I just can't see how I can carry on for the rest of my life the way I am now. Waking up almost sick with anxiety and doing everything I can to hold back the tears in work. I've never been able to hold down a relationship because it feels like I'm hiding this massive secret and I feel so guilty about the thoughts I have.

I've been on all the AD's and just finished cbt which didn't help that much. I'm just waiting to see a psychologist now but it just feels like nobody can help me. My family know and it does help to talk I suppose but at the back of my mind I just feel like there isn't anything they can do for me.

How do people cope if it never goes away?

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Sunday 9th August 2015
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Well, I've just had one of the most awful, stressful weeks of my working life.

Without going into too many details, the organisation I work for has had a "death in service" I.e. of one of my clients that I have supported for quite a while passed away recently. Not really a surprise, given his history and the work I (we) do, but still shocking and sad that another human being has died. More so when you work hard to try and keep that person on the straight and narrow. The subsequent conversation with line management was pretty gruelling, as it highlighted that I'd not been performing to my expected levels and I may have to speak to the senior manager when she returns from leave, which means I will have to go through the whole thing again. frown

To say this has hit me hard would be an understatement.I've been hanging on for many months now, feeling increasingly disillusioned, tired and miserable with work and life in general, but this was a watershed. I have been walking round in a daze since it happened, but have tried to carry on regardless. Unfortunately, putting on a front is getting harder and people are starting to notice.

One good thing to come out of it was that it finally gave me the kick up the arse to take up the free counselling that is provided via a third party organisation. I've already had a 1 hour telephone session, which identified that I would benefit from face-to face sessions.
I'm not really sure what to expect, as I last had counselling several years ago, which was in a group setting. Can't say it was particularly helpful, despite doing it for a year.

I feel a little punch drunk as I write this and I'm not quite sure what to do next? frown

Edited by jogger1976 on Sunday 9th August 20:45


Edited by jogger1976 on Sunday 9th August 20:46


Edited by jogger1976 on Sunday 9th August 20:47

227bhp

10,203 posts

127 months

Sunday 9th August 2015
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jogger1976 said:
Well, I've just had one of the most awful, stressful weeks of my working life.

Without going into too many details, the organisation I work for has had a "death in service" I.e. of one of my clients that I have supported for quite passed away recently. Not really a surprise, given his history and the work I (we) do, but still shocking and sad that another human being has died. More so when you work hard to try and keep that person on the straight and narrow. The subsequent conversation with line management was pretty gruelling, as it highlighted that I'd not been performing to my expected levels and I may have to speak to the senior manager when she returns from leave, which means I will have to go through the whole thing again. frown

To say this has hit me hard would be an understatement.I've been hanging on for many months now, feeling increasingly disillusioned, tired and miserable with work and life in general, but this was a watershed. I have been walking round in a daze since it happened, but have tried to carry on regardless. Unfortunately, putting on a front is getting harder and people are starting to notice.

One good thing to come out of it was that it finally gave me the kick up the arse to take up the free counselling that is provided via a third party organisation. I've already had a 1 hour telephone session, which identified that I would benefit from face-to face sessions.
I'm not really sure what to expect, as I last had counselling several years ago, which was in a group setting. Can't say it was particularly helpful, despite doing it for a year.

I feel a little punch drunk as I write this and I'm not quite sure what to do next? frown
Look for a less stressful job?

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Sunday 9th August 2015
quotequote all
227bhp said:
jogger1976 said:
Well, I've just had one of the most awful, stressful weeks of my working life.

Without going into too many details, the organisation I work for has had a "death in service" I.e. of one of my clients that I have supported for quite passed away recently. Not really a surprise, given his history and the work I (we) do, but still shocking and sad that another human being has died. More so when you work hard to try and keep that person on the straight and narrow. The subsequent conversation with line management was pretty gruelling, as it highlighted that I'd not been performing to my expected levels and I may have to speak to the senior manager when she returns from leave, which means I will have to go through the whole thing again. frown

To say this has hit me hard would be an understatement.I've been hanging on for many months now, feeling increasingly disillusioned, tired and miserable with work and life in general, but this was a watershed. I have been walking round in a daze since it happened, but have tried to carry on regardless. Unfortunately, putting on a front is getting harder and people are starting to notice.

One good thing to come out of it was that it finally gave me the kick up the arse to take up the free counselling that is provided via a third party organisation. I've already had a 1 hour telephone session, which identified that I would benefit from face-to face sessions.
I'm not really sure what to expect, as I last had counselling several years ago, which was in a group setting. Can't say it was particularly helpful, despite doing it for a year.

I feel a little punch drunk as I write this and I'm not quite sure what to do next? frown
Look for a less stressful job?
Yeh, have thought about this, fella TBH. As things stand at the moment, I may have to completely change my career path to one that doesn't involve such an intensive working environment. Not really sure about the mechanics of that at the moment, but definitely in my thoughts and will be something I'll bring to the counselling and speak to management about, once my head is more together.
As I've said, I think it's been a watershed moment, which will hopefully make me be more honest with my self, and perhaps a little kinder, too. I think like many on here, I'm my own harshest critic and worst enemy frown


227bhp

10,203 posts

127 months

Sunday 9th August 2015
quotequote all
jogger1976 said:
227bhp said:
jogger1976 said:
Well, I've just had one of the most awful, stressful weeks of my working life.

Without going into too many details, the organisation I work for has had a "death in service" I.e. of one of my clients that I have supported for quite passed away recently. Not really a surprise, given his history and the work I (we) do, but still shocking and sad that another human being has died. More so when you work hard to try and keep that person on the straight and narrow. The subsequent conversation with line management was pretty gruelling, as it highlighted that I'd not been performing to my expected levels and I may have to speak to the senior manager when she returns from leave, which means I will have to go through the whole thing again. frown

To say this has hit me hard would be an understatement.I've been hanging on for many months now, feeling increasingly disillusioned, tired and miserable with work and life in general, but this was a watershed. I have been walking round in a daze since it happened, but have tried to carry on regardless. Unfortunately, putting on a front is getting harder and people are starting to notice.

One good thing to come out of it was that it finally gave me the kick up the arse to take up the free counselling that is provided via a third party organisation. I've already had a 1 hour telephone session, which identified that I would benefit from face-to face sessions.
I'm not really sure what to expect, as I last had counselling several years ago, which was in a group setting. Can't say it was particularly helpful, despite doing it for a year.

I feel a little punch drunk as I write this and I'm not quite sure what to do next? frown
Look for a less stressful job?
Yeh, have thought about this, fella TBH. As things stand at the moment, I may have to completely change my career path to one that doesn't involve such an intensive working environment. Not really sure about the mechanics of that at the moment, but definitely in my thoughts and will be something I'll bring to the counselling and speak to management about, once my head is more together.
As I've said, I think it's been a watershed moment, which will hopefully make me be more honest with my self, and perhaps a little kinder, too. I think like many on here, I'm my own harshest critic and worst enemy frown
Sorry for being blunt, it was the most obvious thing to apply - tackle the problem at source. Very simplistic of course and I don't know anything about your circumstances, either way it would take a while to implement it.
You mention 'putting on a front' which is a big cause and a turning point with depression when you can suddenly become no longer able to do it and have a breakdown of mild or major proportions. Do you have someone close to you to share some of the problems? A visit to the doc is in order and take on some of the counselling they are offering. Is it likely you will see a different counsellor? If so there is hope there (along with other factors) that it may work a bit better this time. Your Dr will probably prescribe some ADs to help you initially too. Good luck with the next few weeks, just take it one step at a time. smile

Impasse

15,099 posts

240 months

Monday 10th August 2015
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One of the downsides to spending 72+ hours being unable to extricate yourself from the safety of your bed is that it can really screw up your body clock. Oh well, getting some reading done.

ThrottleBod

258 posts

148 months

Monday 10th August 2015
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I've been following this thread from the beginning but never got around to posting.

I've been suffering with depression/anxiety as long as I can remember even though I didn't always realise what it was. I'm 27 now and I just can't see how I can carry on for the rest of my life the way I am now. Waking up almost sick with anxiety and doing everything I can to hold back the tears in work. I've never been able to hold down a relationship because it feels like I'm hiding this massive secret and I feel so guilty about the thoughts I have.

I've been on all the AD's and just finished cbt which didn't help that much. I'm just waiting to see a psychologist now but it just feels like nobody can help me. My family know and it does help to talk I suppose but at the back of my mind I just feel like there isn't anything they can do for me.

How do people cope if it never goes away?

227bhp

10,203 posts

127 months

Monday 10th August 2015
quotequote all
ThrottleBod said:
I've been following this thread from the beginning but never got around to posting.

I've been suffering with depression/anxiety as long as I can remember even though I didn't always realise what it was. I'm 27 now and I just can't see how I can carry on for the rest of my life the way I am now. Waking up almost sick with anxiety and doing everything I can to hold back the tears in work. I've never been able to hold down a relationship because it feels like I'm hiding this massive secret and I feel so guilty about the thoughts I have.

I've been on all the AD's and just finished cbt which didn't help that much. I'm just waiting to see a psychologist now but it just feels like nobody can help me. My family know and it does help to talk I suppose but at the back of my mind I just feel like there isn't anything they can do for me.

How do people cope if it never goes away?
Because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

"I'm just waiting to see a psychologist now"

There is yours. smile

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Monday 10th August 2015
quotequote all
227bhp said:
ThrottleBod said:
I've been following this thread from the beginning but never got around to posting.

I've been suffering with depression/anxiety as long as I can remember even though I didn't always realise what it was. I'm 27 now and I just can't see how I can carry on for the rest of my life the way I am now. Waking up almost sick with anxiety and doing everything I can to hold back the tears in work. I've never been able to hold down a relationship because it feels like I'm hiding this massive secret and I feel so guilty about the thoughts I have.

I've been on all the AD's and just finished cbt which didn't help that much. I'm just waiting to see a psychologist now but it just feels like nobody can help me. My family know and it does help to talk I suppose but at the back of my mind I just feel like there isn't anything they can do for me.

How do people cope if it never goes away?
Because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

"I'm just waiting to see a psychologist now"

There is yours. smile
You feel crap now and there's a chance you may feel crap at some point in the future.
But trust me when I say that there are good times, happy times, fulfilling times and many more on the horizon, no matter how bleak it feels right now. Keep going mate. The dark times do come to an end.

Impasse

15,099 posts

240 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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That isn't entirely accurate, but some seem to take comfort from such optimism.

ThrottleBod

258 posts

148 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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Thanks for the replies. Really does help knowing there are other people who have been through or are going through the same thing. Guess I'm just getting tired of the gut wrenching feeling in my stomach every morning. There must be a glimmer of hope there somewhere though, I guess that's what keeps us going.

Impasse, is there anything in particular that's put you in the place you are right now?

drivin_me_nuts

17,949 posts

210 months

Tuesday 11th August 2015
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Impasse said:
One of the downsides to spending 72+ hours being unable to extricate yourself from the safety of your bed is that it can really screw up your body clock. Oh well, getting some reading done.
One of the things I found was that after a while of being in such a situation, the demands of the body start to outweigh the demands of the mind.

I found that the longer I stayed in bed, the more tired I seemed to get, to the point of having a constant ache in my joints and symptoms best described as having a 'flu like head'. I ate little to nothing and what I did eat was nothing more than chocolate and toast.

There came a time though when the physical discomfort actually started to shift something in the mind and there did come a time when I started to think about moving again, It took a while for that feeling to grow into something that I acted on - and that itself seemed to be a bigger battle within. get up, move, vs stay and ache in the isolation of a bed.

It started by me moving rooms - from the bedroom to the sofa and then from the sofa to moving more. It took a while for that part of my mind to address the side that wanted/needed to do nothing and feared to do anything. It took a while, but it did happen.

Depression is often the most bitter of internalised civil wars and one side, the side that wants to be free has waves of 'attacks' to counter before it can overcome enough for something else to even begin to germinate in its place.

tonyvid

9,869 posts

242 months

Sunday 16th August 2015
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drivin_me_nuts said:
Depression is often the most bitter of internalised civil wars and one side, the side that wants to be free has waves of 'attacks' to counter before it can overcome enough for something else to even begin to germinate in its place.
Isn't that battle just hell?!? I'm away way up north in a stunning place but here on my own (in every way) - i know the best thing would be to get out on my day off but can barely get a coffee. It just feeds the lonelyness i'm feeling even more.

EV11NED

856 posts

152 months

Tuesday 18th August 2015
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The thing I'm struggling with right now is how you tell people that the good news they think they have is an atom in a universe of misery. Especially when they've been supportive in the past and probably have patience fatigue.