Discussion
crazy about cars said:
Good to read all the updates; good or bad sometimes it helps to share...
Things seem from to be getting worse... most days I just want to shut myself out from the world. I rarely feel happiness anymore, it's either ok or depressed. I worry too much about and also tend to be react very sensitively to any negative comments, no matter how trivial! It's frustrating because I don't want to be this way but can't help it.
Really apprehensive about going back on ADs as I've not had positive outcomes on the many years and many different types of ADs I was on.
Sometimes I do really wish I have a (real life) mate to share thoughts. Don't have any other human contact outside of my wife and kids these days.
Do you talk to your wife? have you tried the Samaritans I know its not mates but its sometimes better to talk to people who don't know you, or find a local counsellor, you can quite often have a 30 min consultation free of charge to see if you bond.Things seem from to be getting worse... most days I just want to shut myself out from the world. I rarely feel happiness anymore, it's either ok or depressed. I worry too much about and also tend to be react very sensitively to any negative comments, no matter how trivial! It's frustrating because I don't want to be this way but can't help it.
Really apprehensive about going back on ADs as I've not had positive outcomes on the many years and many different types of ADs I was on.
Sometimes I do really wish I have a (real life) mate to share thoughts. Don't have any other human contact outside of my wife and kids these days.
r1tey said:
I'd like to add to this I work as a support worker in mental health and have been signed off for a few weeks now due to anxiety/depression. I ended up feeling lower than I ever have this weekend and doing something I really never wanted to do which was attending A&E they gave me diazepam for a couple of days and told me to visit my GP today who gave me mirtazapine.
Obviously there are circumstances behind all this mainly relationship issues which need addressing but the diazepam helped a lot last night and having the mirtazapine there is helping although I am going to try and do it without them.
I suppose my main point is I never thought I could feel as low as I did (suicidal) and because of my job I believed my visit to A&E would be useless but I had no other choice and it turned out to be quite beneficial as they spoke to me alone and then me and my partner.
I've also tried CBT and counselling, the CBT didn't work for me but the counselling (if you find the right counsellor) can help, also the Samaritans have helped.
Mental Health in my opinion is very poorly managed by the NHS and needs huge improvements.
Speaking as a Paramedic I concur wholly. The care given is poor but it is changing slowly.Obviously there are circumstances behind all this mainly relationship issues which need addressing but the diazepam helped a lot last night and having the mirtazapine there is helping although I am going to try and do it without them.
I suppose my main point is I never thought I could feel as low as I did (suicidal) and because of my job I believed my visit to A&E would be useless but I had no other choice and it turned out to be quite beneficial as they spoke to me alone and then me and my partner.
I've also tried CBT and counselling, the CBT didn't work for me but the counselling (if you find the right counsellor) can help, also the Samaritans have helped.
Mental Health in my opinion is very poorly managed by the NHS and needs huge improvements.
The main problem is in the vast majority of suicide attempts (in my experience) alcohol is a factor and as such mental health teams aren't interested. Patient sobers up and leaves hospital without addressing the original issue.
I have dealt with many genuine suicide attempts in my career and the genuine ones are very difficult and traumatic to deal with. They never get easier.
Suicide is a horrible place to be. You have thoughts that you don't recognise but take on and then implant your own thought process on top of them.
I have the opposite mentality in a way to Crazy. As Dig has alluded to I can go a little overboard at times, but this is symptomatic of me...rather that retreat to everything I opt for the double six option. Its throw the dice and challenge death to a f
kfest and see who wants it the most. I basically don't recognise 1 - 99 exist, I go straight from 0 to 100. Its shocking to think that two yrs ago next month my life was being surgically forensically picked apart by Zurich police in their operation. For two months everyday I contemplated suicide, planned it, weighed up the best means, methods, guarantees of success. It was something I wanted to avoid with every fibre of me but my brain also being my brain made me plan and organise it to excess. Throw in I was alone in a foreign country, in a non English speaking company, nobody I could discuss this with, only saw my wife every other weekend and had to hide this from her.
Suicide is a horrible horrible place to be.
I have the opposite mentality in a way to Crazy. As Dig has alluded to I can go a little overboard at times, but this is symptomatic of me...rather that retreat to everything I opt for the double six option. Its throw the dice and challenge death to a f
kfest and see who wants it the most. I basically don't recognise 1 - 99 exist, I go straight from 0 to 100. Its shocking to think that two yrs ago next month my life was being surgically forensically picked apart by Zurich police in their operation. For two months everyday I contemplated suicide, planned it, weighed up the best means, methods, guarantees of success. It was something I wanted to avoid with every fibre of me but my brain also being my brain made me plan and organise it to excess. Throw in I was alone in a foreign country, in a non English speaking company, nobody I could discuss this with, only saw my wife every other weekend and had to hide this from her.Suicide is a horrible horrible place to be.
Did you not see my lighthearted reply to Dig last page?
To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
DJRC said:
Did you not see my lighthearted reply to Dig last page?
To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
No I didn't see it. To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
I think the medical side becomes relevant if you wish to receive help. As you know depression and bipolar disorder are very different illnesses, and despite sharing symptoms, they require different treatment and coping mechanisms.
I only mention it because I think many people don't have an awareness of what bipolar disorder is, so could easily be misdiagnosed as depression when describing their symptoms. Not you specifically.
Prof Prolapse said:
DJRC said:
Did you not see my lighthearted reply to Dig last page?
To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
No I didn't see it. To be perfectly honest I try not to think about it all too much on the medical side, just to live life and get by as best I can for me. Its only every now and then I actually bother taking a step back and looking at the longer picture.
I think the medical side becomes relevant if you wish to receive help. As you know depression and bipolar disorder are very different illnesses, and despite sharing symptoms, they require different treatment and coping mechanisms.
I only mention it because I think many people don't have an awareness of what bipolar disorder is, so could easily be misdiagnosed as depression when describing their symptoms. Not you specifically.
Kind of back to what I said on the last page, GP can diagnose depression. Bipolar you need a referral to psychiatrist presumably because it's more difficult to diagnose.
For the same reason complicated and subjective and I'm afraid I simply don't know how you get diagnosed bipolar. The process from experience you will be referred by your GP to a shrink. When there you will feel the common need to open up and state the problems, they will then try and exclude various psychological issues and perform a diagnosis. Then if bipolar you get started on medication, most commonly mood stabilisers like Lithium or Sodium Valporate as opposed to antidepressants. They can also issue other weird and wonderful drugs based on anxiety issues and whatever problems you have to help balance you out.
The problem with bipolar disorders is the stages aren't easily pronounced, so you can just suffer from perceived mood swings as the pendulum swings from your "depressive" state back again to "manic phase", to complicate matters further you can exists in both states at once (a so called "mixed" state) which is commonly cited as the most destructive. So it can be easy to only remember certain stages, and perhaps write off the rest as personality quirks.
So yes. Not depression in the clinical sense, you will be unlikely to need antidepressants, but sadly bipolar disorder is considered physiological, I read somewhere imperfects in white matter but unsure if this is proven, so you'll likely be taking meds for the remainder of your days. You also have the somewhat worrying observation that Bipolar episodes appear to increase in their severity the longer they are untreated. So unlike some forms of depression you can't evade pharmaceutical treatment with things like CBT, but also things can be worse if you stop your meds.
About one in a hundred people suffer to a lesser or greater degree however so it's not that uncommon.
For the same reason complicated and subjective and I'm afraid I simply don't know how you get diagnosed bipolar. The process from experience you will be referred by your GP to a shrink. When there you will feel the common need to open up and state the problems, they will then try and exclude various psychological issues and perform a diagnosis. Then if bipolar you get started on medication, most commonly mood stabilisers like Lithium or Sodium Valporate as opposed to antidepressants. They can also issue other weird and wonderful drugs based on anxiety issues and whatever problems you have to help balance you out.
The problem with bipolar disorders is the stages aren't easily pronounced, so you can just suffer from perceived mood swings as the pendulum swings from your "depressive" state back again to "manic phase", to complicate matters further you can exists in both states at once (a so called "mixed" state) which is commonly cited as the most destructive. So it can be easy to only remember certain stages, and perhaps write off the rest as personality quirks.
So yes. Not depression in the clinical sense, you will be unlikely to need antidepressants, but sadly bipolar disorder is considered physiological, I read somewhere imperfects in white matter but unsure if this is proven, so you'll likely be taking meds for the remainder of your days. You also have the somewhat worrying observation that Bipolar episodes appear to increase in their severity the longer they are untreated. So unlike some forms of depression you can't evade pharmaceutical treatment with things like CBT, but also things can be worse if you stop your meds.
About one in a hundred people suffer to a lesser or greater degree however so it's not that uncommon.
Nothing to be depressed about! (Boom boom). You take the meds when you should, work at it and you can live a full and rewarding life. You will be able to do everything a "normal" person can but it just will be harder sometimes. I would argue that experiencing such a broad spectrum of emotions also gives you the opportunity to develop a more unique perspective, and to become more emotionally robust than those who don't suffer from similar issues. Although I dare say the latter becomes mandatory.
Winston Churchill even managed to lead this country to victory in World War two and suffered from bipolar disorder, or "the black dog", as he called it.
My only point is it can't be ignored.
Winston Churchill even managed to lead this country to victory in World War two and suffered from bipolar disorder, or "the black dog", as he called it.
My only point is it can't be ignored.
Petrolhead95 said:
Since last posting I've had a good few weeks, only had a couple of down days. I was/am desperate to avoid medical help and try to go at it alone which has so far worked with a bit of will power. I've managed to cut all the negative crap out of my life and have kept myself occupied which has helped massively.
I know "Cool story, bro" etc, I just feel really proud of myself.
Well that lasted long. Relationship issues have sent me straight back to where I started. Why is it whenever things are looking up, there's always something to bring you down right after I know "Cool story, bro" etc, I just feel really proud of myself.
Personally speaking as I have no family support but some very good friends I feel that when relationship issues affect your life its vital to know you can cope on your own. This is something I have not mastered yet and am finding very difficult but intend to work on it as much as possible.
The perceived wisdom is to be happy on your own and then choose a relationship that adds value to your life but this is much much easier said than done, you should never choose to be in the wrong relationship for support or company alone but its very hard at certain times in your life not to have a partner in my opinion.
I also believe from my limited experience that a lot of mental health is diagnosed on guess work and its trial and error with regards to medication.
The perceived wisdom is to be happy on your own and then choose a relationship that adds value to your life but this is much much easier said than done, you should never choose to be in the wrong relationship for support or company alone but its very hard at certain times in your life not to have a partner in my opinion.
I also believe from my limited experience that a lot of mental health is diagnosed on guess work and its trial and error with regards to medication.
Petrolhead95 said:
Well that lasted long. Relationship issues have sent me straight back to where I started. Why is it whenever things are looking up, there's always something to bring you down right after
See that? That's your word machine telling you things are always going to be st. It's fine for them to be s
t, they'll get better. They'll get worse again. If you can get to a point where you can recognise that they're st and you know they'll get better, then you're on the way towards accepting that guess what, life aint perfect all the time but you'll still get through itMusic does play a part in influencing my mood, especially if I have a pint or two. I tend to listen to upbeat music (dance, happy trance etc). However when I need to switch off and relax I find orchestral/classical music helpful. Not to everyone's taste but really liking Pharrel's "Happy" lately.
Question to those on ADs, can you still drink? I like to have a quite pint each evening (and bit more in the weekends) but from memory certain ADs make me sick even on one sip. There are also some work occasions where I will need to drink and stay up a bit late... I wonder how will the ADs affect this.
Question to those on ADs, can you still drink? I like to have a quite pint each evening (and bit more in the weekends) but from memory certain ADs make me sick even on one sip. There are also some work occasions where I will need to drink and stay up a bit late... I wonder how will the ADs affect this.
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