Depression

Author
Discussion

richtea78

5,574 posts

157 months

Saturday 21st March 2015
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It's weirc isn't it. I started off the same as you but ended up telling them everything. Weird

I've joined a gym today, hate exercise but like the feeling afterwards

crazy about cars

4,454 posts

168 months

Sunday 22nd March 2015
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Rusty1 said:
went to counseling and god you feel strange at first and don't know what to say,
then somehow it all starts coming out.

did make me feel fragile afterwards so i've taken time off work.
lots of colleagues who i've spoken to about my depression saw how work affected me and told me
that i should put my health firsts and that was first time where i feel it was right.
I find counselling very helpful and would prefer that compared to meds. It's a shame I cannot to go private. I've requested to start my counselling again so now just waiting for a letter.

It's nice that your colleagues are supportive, it's slightly different for me where it's still a stigma that is seen to be affecting your work performance and hence career progression. I've never told anyone at work about my condition and always managed to keep a smiling façade however I recently heard it would be better to disclose to avoid any issues so will think about it.

Found out that my only friend whom I have contact with would not think twice about stabbing me in the beck for money which sort of put me down a little... well at least I still have my wife and kids around me and you guys to share.

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Sunday 22nd March 2015
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Does anyone on here feel like they can't be bothered to be around people/find them immensely irritating/judgemental?

I'm finding that I'm reading far to much into peoples comments, or little facial expressions. Everyone seems so miserable at the moment and I find it very difficult to not think it is me that's causing this. I know this is probably completely irrational (at least I hope it is!) but it's really getting to me.

I generally feel like life is a pointless waste of time and I frequently find myself not having any sort of purpose or direction, despite having a job and trying out various hobbies. I just cannot find a connection with other people beofre I feel overwhelmed or paranoid that they will find out something bad about me, so I then cut them off.

I'm really worried how I'll cope at work when I return from annual leave. I think I may have to bite the bullet and speak with the employment assistance programme, as they offer counselling and other services. Otherwise I might get sacked. frown

crazy about cars

4,454 posts

168 months

Sunday 22nd March 2015
quotequote all
jogger1976 said:
Does anyone on here feel like they can't be bothered to be around people/find them immensely irritating/judgemental?

I'm finding that I'm reading far to much into peoples comments, or little facial expressions. Everyone seems so miserable at the moment and I find it very difficult to not think it is me that's causing this. I know this is probably completely irrational (at least I hope it is!) but it's really getting to me.

I generally feel like life is a pointless waste of time and I frequently find myself not having any sort of purpose or direction, despite having a job and trying out various hobbies. I just cannot find a connection with other people beofre I feel overwhelmed or paranoid that they will find out something bad about me, so I then cut them off.

I'm really worried how I'll cope at work when I return from annual leave. I think I may have to bite the bullet and speak with the employment assistance programme, as they offer counselling and other services. Otherwise I might get sacked. frown
I don't find people immensely irritating (well not all...) but I do tend to read too much into people's comments too. Different response from yours as I find instead of irritating me it makes me worry. Makes me worry that I've done something wrong and what's annoying that I sometimes get this with the wife too!

If your work offers support I'd definitely go for it.

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Sunday 22nd March 2015
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crazy about cars said:
jogger1976 said:
Does anyone on here feel like they can't be bothered to be around people/find them immensely irritating/judgemental?

I'm finding that I'm reading far to much into peoples comments, or little facial expressions. Everyone seems so miserable at the moment and I find it very difficult to not think it is me that's causing this. I know this is probably completely irrational (at least I hope it is!) but it's really getting to me.

I generally feel like life is a pointless waste of time and I frequently find myself not having any sort of purpose or direction, despite having a job and trying out various hobbies. I just cannot find a connection with other people beofre I feel overwhelmed or paranoid that they will find out something bad about me, so I then cut them off.

I'm really worried how I'll cope at work when I return from annual leave. I think I may have to bite the bullet and speak with the employment assistance programme, as they offer counselling and other services. Otherwise I might get sacked. frown
I don't find people immensely irritating (well not all...) but I do tend to read too much into people's comments too. Different response from yours as I find instead of irritating me it makes me worry. Makes me worry that I've done something wrong and what's annoying that I sometimes get this with the wife too!

If your work offers support I'd definitely go for it.
I think I meant more what you were saying BTW.smile

It's more worry/paranoia and just reading WAY too much into peoples actions and words. Then the internal monologue kicks in and it's pretty much downhill from there.
The irritability is not me shouting and ranting,at least not on the outside. It's more in my head to myself,which then makes me feel a little twitchy and want to be alone.

Not a nice place to be.frown

Rusty1

614 posts

189 months

Sunday 22nd March 2015
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I'm the same I don't seem to have time for people, i just find they annoy me!

Thats why i didn't go back from annual leave and i'm currently off sick because the 2 managers above me (direct line manager and their line manager) are both so unapproachable that i can't talk to them about anything which leaves me in the position of wanting to kill them.

My colleagues only know because i've learnt it is easier to have people around you aware as means you don't need to feel like you need to hide it or appologise.

Petrolhead95

7,043 posts

153 months

Monday 23rd March 2015
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grumbledoak said:
Warning, tough love moment. You can thank me later. Hopefully days or weeks later, not years later. wink


I think nitrodave has called this one right. You even write 'friend' in quotes. I think you want this girl to be more than a friend. She obviously does not share that desire, but she wasn't going to turn down an expensive holiday unless she had a better offer. Which she now has. Her decision is clear.

As fast as you can, wise up. Put this girl out of your thoughts. Forget the £160, you were happy to throw far more away. Move on. If you can cancel the holiday, spend the money on yourself. If you cannot cancel the holiday, go on your own.
Thanks Grumble, I think you and Dave are right. Quite honestly I don't know what I want, but since I broke contact with her I've been a bit better, although still in a massive rut. Can I put it down to being young and foolish?

Prof Prolapse

16,160 posts

189 months

Monday 23rd March 2015
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Petrolhead95 said:
Can I put it down to being young and foolish?
Worked for me since 1986.

That and "it's my first day".


grumbledoak

31,499 posts

232 months

Monday 23rd March 2015
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Petrolhead95 said:
Can I put it down to being young and foolish?
Of course! Just don't let it this one drag on until it is better described "old and foolish". thumbup

Girls will keep you hanging about just as a backup option if you let them. Don't let them.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Tuesday 24th March 2015
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I have started a blog to document my thoughts on depression and explore my own reasons for suffering. I would appreciate feedback, follows and RT on Twitter @Footballruined

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com

Thanks a lot.

twing

4,987 posts

130 months

Tuesday 24th March 2015
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Ruskie said:
I have started a blog to document my thoughts on depression and explore my own reasons for suffering. I would appreciate feedback, follows and RT on Twitter @Footballruined

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com

Thanks a lot.
Thanks, I've followed both thumbup

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Wednesday 25th March 2015
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Thanks you for anyone who has taken the time to read. It's appreciated.

New blog post


Early days. | howfootballruinedmylife
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...


I will get to the depression and dark side soon!

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Thursday 26th March 2015
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Once again a big thank you for anyone taking the time to read the blog. Here is the next post.


https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

crazy about cars

4,454 posts

168 months

Friday 27th March 2015
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Very sad news recently regarding the Germanwing crash and it is suspected now that the co-pilot might be suffering from depression.

I've overheard a conversation regarding this and one of the comments was that all suffering from depression should be put on a register... bit worrying.

jogger1976

1,251 posts

125 months

Friday 27th March 2015
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crazy about cars said:
Very sad news recently regarding the Germanwing crash and it is suspected now that the co-pilot might be suffering from depression.

I've overheard a conversation regarding this and one of the comments was that all suffering from depression should be put on a register... bit worrying.
Yes, quite scary really. Some of our fellow PHer's where advocating a kind of North Korean-esque purge on the Germanwings thread. I hope this isn't used as a big stick to further stigmatise mental illness and drive it into the shadows. frown

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Friday 27th March 2015
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https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

The next stage of my blog talks about performance anxiety and how it affected my life and career.

Thanks if you are taking the time to read.

Rusty1

614 posts

189 months

Friday 27th March 2015
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Been feeling quite good past few days,
even thought, "If i could feel like this without tablets, i'd be happy"

Yeah the co-pilot is worrying that it could put it back into the shadows but, look at it in a positive way,
Due to the stigma is why he will had not disclosed it and ended up doing what he did.

Off to go for a workout!

jonamv8

3,145 posts

165 months

Saturday 28th March 2015
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Ruskie - im liking your blog mate, keep it going and if it helps then bonus

Im also trying to work out who u are!

jonamv8

3,145 posts

165 months

Saturday 28th March 2015
quotequote all
Ruskie - im liking your blog mate, keep it going and if it helps then bonus

Im also trying to work out who u are!

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Saturday 28th March 2015
quotequote all
jonamv8 said:
Ruskie - im liking your blog mate, keep it going and if it helps then bonus

Im also trying to work out who u are!
Thanks a lot. Got a good few topics to talk about. I feel like I have set the scene now to talk about the depression a bit more.