Depression

[andy-xr]

Noodle1982 said:

Thanks for your reply Andy.

Woke up feeling slightly better today but no where near the right mind set for work. So today was my first sick day in about 6 years.

Got an emergency appointment in the docs this morning (only my second visit in 6 years).

Explained to him how im feeling and with the fact that im already having counselling, eating and drinking healthily (apart from the last few days), hardly ever drink alcohol and dont smoke he suggested i try 10mg of citalopram. He did offer counselling and group therapy but ive got a good relationship with my counsellor and want to stick with that. His diagnosis was anxiety.

Also booked in for a blood test tomorrow morning. I have never had a blood test in my life (i most probably have but not that i can remember) and awaiting an appointment with the urologist to test my testosterone levels.

Feeling slightly more positive this afternoon.

Good to hear.

The citalopram may well make you feel worse before you start feeling better, it takes a little while for your body to adjust. Generally it wont stop you going to work, but it might make you feel a bit nauseous.

I think what you might find is that the underlying feelings and thoughts will probably be worse than any side effects, but just try and separate them out for what they actually are. It's easy (especially when your brain has time to chunter away to you and you have time to listen) to find yourself in a mind state where you're not quite sure how or why you got there, but it's not nice and you start looking for quick ways out and shaming yourself for thinking things. They're just thoughts.

I think quite a few people are having a sick day today, strange how a bit of sun brings on the coughs and colds

[sparkyhx]

andy-xr said:

Sidewindow said:

Thanks eljordo. Sounds like we had a similar experience. I did actually ask the doc about CBT and he said I should have a counselling introduction first and it might then lead onto CBT. I think he described counselling as being used to identify the source of the problem and CBT is then used to change the thought process to overcome it. Or something...

You know, that's a really good call from the doc.

Rather than pick out a couple of words and write a prescription he's asked you something you might not have asked yourself and them come up with solid reasoning on his advice.

I think what he's shown you might net better long term results while it doesn't hit the short term one in the way you thought it might go, hitting the rot cause will help you more

CBT is like giving Asprin for a headache - it usually works, but if you have a brain tumor it just masks the symptoms and doesn't treat theunderlying problem.

i.e. CBT/NLP treats the manifestation of the problem not the cause.

As long as you go into it with an open mind and then if its doesn't work, it may be because you need longer term therapy (or drugs).

[andy-xr]

sparkyhx said:

andy-xr said:

Sidewindow said:

Thanks eljordo. Sounds like we had a similar experience. I did actually ask the doc about CBT and he said I should have a counselling introduction first and it might then lead onto CBT. I think he described counselling as being used to identify the source of the problem and CBT is then used to change the thought process to overcome it. Or something...

You know, that's a really good call from the doc.

Rather than pick out a couple of words and write a prescription he's asked you something you might not have asked yourself and them come up with solid reasoning on his advice.

I think what he's shown you might net better long term results while it doesn't hit the short term one in the way you thought it might go, hitting the rot cause will help you more

CBT is like giving Asprin for a headache - it usually works, but if you have a brain tumor it just masks the symptoms and doesn't treat theunderlying problem.

i.e. CBT/NLP treats the manifestation of the problem not the cause.

As long as you go into it with an open mind and then if its doesn't work, it may be because you need longer term therapy (or drugs).

I kind of meant that's better than saying nowt and giving out a leaflet or a quick scribble (and they are out there), it's a good sign that there's a doctor out there who's willing to look past an immediate prescription to shorten the queue in the waiting room, but I take your point.

[sparkyhx]

andy-xr said:

sparkyhx said:

andy-xr said:

Sidewindow said:

Thanks eljordo. Sounds like we had a similar experience. I did actually ask the doc about CBT and he said I should have a counselling introduction first and it might then lead onto CBT. I think he described counselling as being used to identify the source of the problem and CBT is then used to change the thought process to overcome it. Or something...

You know, that's a really good call from the doc.

Rather than pick out a couple of words and write a prescription he's asked you something you might not have asked yourself and them come up with solid reasoning on his advice.

I think what he's shown you might net better long term results while it doesn't hit the short term one in the way you thought it might go, hitting the rot cause will help you more

CBT is like giving Asprin for a headache - it usually works, but if you have a brain tumor it just masks the symptoms and doesn't treat theunderlying problem.

i.e. CBT/NLP treats the manifestation of the problem not the cause.

As long as you go into it with an open mind and then if its doesn't work, it may be because you need longer term therapy (or drugs).

I kind of meant that's better than saying nowt and giving out a leaflet or a quick scribble (and they are out there), it's a good sign that there's a doctor out there who's willing to look past an immediate prescription to shorten the queue in the waiting room, but I take your point.

No probs - I was just clarifying the difference between CBT/NLP and 'therapy'. CBT/NLP are asprin, Transactional Analysis, Jungian etc get to the underlying cause like having the tumour cut out and then having the rehabilitation, its long term and more dramatic/deeper.

The level of training for the practitioner is dramatically different as well. CBT/NLP qualification can be had in a few days, while we are doing analogies, think 'certificate' (or at best GCSE) ). Transactional Analysis, Jungian etc take years and are equivalent of a Degree/Masters. Councellors are the former Psychotherapists the latter. The Psychotherapist will probably have CBT/NLP in their repertoir, but not the other way round.

neither is better or worse, just more appropriate for certain circumstances.

NHS doesn't doesn't do Psychotherapy. they will fund 6 sessions of CBT/NLP and thats pertty much it.
After that you get involved with Psychiatrists or you fund it yourself.

Edited by sparkyhx on Thursday 2nd July 14:27

[oldbanger]

CAT is an interesting blend of psychoanalysis and CBT., if you've ever come across it. It was developed at Guys Hospital.

Personally I think both ends of the spectrum have their pitfalls. CBT addresses thinking styles and habits, without going very deeply into root causes. However psychoanalysis can become the end rather than the means with people sometimes taking years to analyse and identify the root cause of a problem, as if the problem can't be addressed until some elusive final reveal occurs.

I think both have their place, as do newer body centred therapies. However IANAD, I'm just joe public.

[Ruskie]

A lesson learnt. Depression never leaves you.

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

This blog post is, I feel as raw and uncut as I have ever wrote. It is how I feel at this exact moment and I make no apologies for that. After it wouldn't be a very good blog if I diluted my thoughts and didn't explain what it's like to suffer with depression.

Reflecting on this thread I started 4 years ago, there are now 37 pages of discussion on a predominately male orientated forum, about depression, that can only be a good thing, people sharing and passing on advice.

[Ste1987]

Timehop has reminded me I've been suffering from depression for just over a year, now. This time last year I went to see a therapist who gave me some suggestions. I opted for CBT, though I started to feel a bit more positive about things, so I opted out. Been suffering a bit from anxiety, which goes hand in hand with depression. My experience in sales kind of triggered it all, but then things started to ease. The weird thing is, I started a new role that is much less stress, better working hours. I'm sleeping a lot better as well, but I've started to feel as st as I did this time last year. Is this what they call Summertime blues? I'm kinda rambling on a bit here, I've friends who have suffered and have been on medication, but I don't feel like I need to go down that route, which is a positive sign, yeah? I can go to work, keep myself occupied, but the moment my mind starts to wander, I get all these negative thoughts and worries.

[andy-xr]

Ste1987 said:

I've friends who have suffered and have been on medication, but I don't feel like I need to go down that route, which is a positive sign, yeah?

It's neither positive nor negative, it's just that's how you feel. I held off for ages because 'that's what those sick people take' and I was determined that I could sort this out. It took me a while to confirm that I needed a crutch to help me walk, and that's what the meds did. It took a bit of time to find one that was right for me, and it took about 18 months to get to a point where I didnt need them anymore. But it's whatever you think is right for you, dont feel that you're not sick enough or other people are worse off, it's largely about you

[tonyvid]

Three and a half weeks ago I came back from a lovely holiday with my partner, the last 3 weeks at work have been hell and my anxiety has been creeping up and up and up, getting out of the bed the last week has been grim...then this morning, she, my partner of around 6 years, breaks it off What a stty time. I'm trying to keep upbeat but can feel this huge virtual cliff ahead with a down arrow for me.

One of the reasons she gave is she felt I wasn't mentally strong enough to be able to deal with her and youngish family full time - that really really REALLY hurts.

I've been really trying to get myself sorted after a depressive episode this time last year(mostly due to massive workload issues with unresolved echoes from my divorce and some new partner problems bundled in), had six sessions through my local MIND and a very empathetic GP who gives me all the time I have asked for(just ask for double or triple appointments, it's the best way and it gives time to all without throwing the waiting room into a tizzz) and I have been pretty ok since the spring...

bks.

[salguod]

tonyvid said:

One of the reasons she gave is she felt I wasn't mentally strong enough to be able to deal with her and youngish family full time - that really really REALLY hurts.

That sounds similar to what happened to me at the start of last albeit with the circumstances a little bit different. I didn't feel as though I could do anything to stop the outcome at the time and I, as you suggest, ended up going off the edge of the cliff and I'm still trying to climb back up.

I went back to the doctor last week. He noted there was a massive improvement in what I was saying with hints of extreme clarity and focus but said there was a little bit of a way to go. He asked what I wanted to do about it, and I said not to go back on the Citalopram as it played absolute havoc with my sleep. He suggested counselling to try and get me over the next hurdle but this is where my next problem lies. I have not heard a thing at all from the counselling folk despite filling in the form, posting it, emailing it and following up the email multiple times. It's frustrating me and I don't feel as though I can do anything about it.

Overall I'm ok. As mentioned a month or so ago, loneliness is really getting to me and I just seem to be meandering along petrifying myself that we are over half way through this year and I don't feel as though I have done anything. I just want someone to ask me how I'm doing. On a rather pathetic note, I have just realised that it was probably December when I was last hugged, and little things like that make a huge difference too.

Any advice on the loneliness bit would be massively welcome.

[Impasse]

salguod said:

Any advice on the loneliness bit would be massively welcome.

Get used to it. After a few years it's not such handicap.

[Digger]

Impasse said:

salguod said:

Any advice on the loneliness bit would be massively welcome.

Get used to it. After a few years it's not such handicap.

Play fair. From your experiences you have more input than that.

[Impasse]

It was a reasonable response. Like any pain it becomes manageable after long term exposure to it, subsequently your tolerance levels increase the longer it exists. It doesn't mean it's gone but you do just "get used to it".

[andy-xr]

Impasse said:

It was a reasonable response.

It's not if you have to justify it. C'mon, the guy's hurting and needs help. As do you

Impasse said:

Like any pain it becomes manageable after long term exposure to it, subsequently your tolerance levels increase the longer it exists. It doesn't mean it's gone but you do just "get used to it".

It doesnt mean you have to get used to it either, it's a choice.

There's 2 types of interaction, fake and real. Fake is what you get from reading Facebook, talking to shop assistants and in some cases people on the internet. They have their own agendas, and they're going to intentionally or unintentionally push it down your throat. Some times it'll make you feel bad, some times it'll make you feel good, and then you'll realise what happened, and then you'll feel bad

The best 'real' interactions come with people who you already know. In some cases you might not know the people well. I think I blurted out a load of stuff that I'd been keeping hidden away to a neighbour. He had a startled look on his face, and invited me in for a coffee. Family and friends, anyone who's not got a vested interest in the outcome of what you're saying

Edited by andy-xr on Wednesday 15th July 09:18

[Chicken Chaser]

A bit of advice needed fellas, not the first time I've posted here but haven't done so for a while.

Everything seems to have changed since my child was born a little under 2 years ago. Just after she was born, I was busy with several projects in the house and also had started a new job. At the time I felt I was coping well within but then 5 months later,things went bang. I started feeling physically unwell and before I knew it, I convinced myself that I was going to die. I went to the GP and broke down in front of them, and found myself getting upset easily when I never get upset usually. A series of physical symptoms which may have been side effects of medication they had given me for stomach issues prevailed which led me to take some time off work, drop off the projects and just spend some quality time with my family. This helped immeasurably and my anxiety went away entirely.

Fast forward a year and I find myself this time not with any anxiety, but a complete disinterest in almost everything that I used to find great pleasure in. I had several hobbies which despite trying, I can't seem to find the motivation to get involved. I've been been away on holiday recently with my family, and at several points, just felt like I wanted to be at home. I've told my wife this and she said I should go see the doc, but I will not get involved in taking medication.

Any ideas? Is this a sign of some underlying issues?

[drivin_me_nuts]

Chicken Chaser said:

A bit of advice needed fellas, not the first time I've posted here but haven't done so for a while.

Everything seems to have changed since my child was born a little under 2 years ago. Just after she was born, I was busy with several projects in the house and also had started a new job. At the time I felt I was coping well within but then 5 months later,things went bang. I started feeling physically unwell and before I knew it, I convinced myself that I was going to die. I went to the GP and broke down in front of them, and found myself getting upset easily when I never get upset usually. A series of physical symptoms which may have been side effects of medication they had given me for stomach issues prevailed which led me to take some time off work, drop off the projects and just spend some quality time with my family. This helped immeasurably and my anxiety went away entirely.

Fast forward a year and I find myself this time not with any anxiety, but a complete disinterest in almost everything that I used to find great pleasure in. I had several hobbies which despite trying, I can't seem to find the motivation to get involved. I've been been away on holiday recently with my family, and at several points, just felt like I wanted to be at home. I've told my wife this and she said I should go see the doc, but I will not get involved in taking medication.

Any ideas? Is this a sign of some underlying issues?

.. it's not that you don't have emotions, because you so clearly describe there was a time when you felt them so strongly and spontaneously. To function, our lovely little brains become very smart at suppressing what causes us emotional pain. You describe something very familiar to a time in my life and sounds very much like, and for want of an expression a 'trip switch' and yours has indeed tripped. The sense of disconnection and lack of interest may well have a clinical label, but they also have a cause and a reason behind them. One question, have you resolved your fear and belief that you are going to die soon?

[Chicken Chaser]

drivin_me_nuts said:

.. it's not that you don't have emotions, because you so clearly describe there was a time when you felt them so strongly and spontaneously. To function, our lovely little brains become very smart at suppressing what causes us emotional pain. You describe something very familiar to a time in my life and sounds very much like, and for want of an expression a 'trip switch' and yours has indeed tripped. The sense of disconnection and lack of interest may well have a clinical label, but they also have a cause and a reason behind them. One question, have you resolved your fear and belief that you are going to die soon?

Yes, I got over the health anxiety over the course of last summer and haven't looked back until we were on holiday in one of my favourite places doing all the activities I used to love doing and just thinking 'I just want to go home'.

I'd love to turn that trip switch back on right now as its those activities which made me better last year. I just feel as if someone has blown the flame out

[grumbledoak]

Chicken Chaser said:

Everything seems to have changed since my child was born a little under 2 years ago.

...

Any ideas? Is this a sign of some underlying issues?

Don't rule out simple exhaustion. Young kids are hard work - you are probably both feeling a bit frayed around the edges.

Edited by grumbledoak on Thursday 16th July 07:03

[WinstonWolf]

Chicken Chaser said:

A bit of advice needed fellas, not the first time I've posted here but haven't done so for a while.

Everything seems to have changed since my child was born a little under 2 years ago. Just after she was born, I was busy with several projects in the house and also had started a new job. At the time I felt I was coping well within but then 5 months later,things went bang. I started feeling physically unwell and before I knew it, I convinced myself that I was going to die. I went to the GP and broke down in front of them, and found myself getting upset easily when I never get upset usually. A series of physical symptoms which may have been side effects of medication they had given me for stomach issues prevailed which led me to take some time off work, drop off the projects and just spend some quality time with my family. This helped immeasurably and my anxiety went away entirely.

Fast forward a year and I find myself this time not with any anxiety, but a complete disinterest in almost everything that I used to find great pleasure in. I had several hobbies which despite trying, I can't seem to find the motivation to get involved. I've been been away on holiday recently with my family, and at several points, just felt like I wanted to be at home. I've told my wife this and she said I should go see the doc, but I will not get involved in taking medication.

Any ideas? Is this a sign of some underlying issues?

Go speak to the doc, sometimes chatting to the right people and having someone who understands can help. Kids can really take it out of you.

[richtea78]

It can be. I have to have them regularly because of some of the medication I take and they quite often call me back for one or two follow ups. It's because sometimes something odd crops up I guess. I've never worried about it and I worry a lot!