Discussion
Keepburgeringon said:
Its all kinda come to ahead the last few weeks and I just feel a constant fog inside my head and just want to sleep, I keep telling myself there are plenty worse off, but I cant snap out of it.
Sorry for the rambling, just want seeing if anyone can offer any advice , maybe books or something? I've got a drs appointment booked next week
One touch of silver lining, if you can see it that way, is that you do have reasons to be struggling - toddlers are wonderful but they are also hard work, and you've got PND and more besides.Sorry for the rambling, just want seeing if anyone can offer any advice , maybe books or something? I've got a drs appointment booked next week
See the GP and try the anti-depressants. They aren't happy pills, they don't turn you into a grinning idiot, they take away the feeling that there can never be a light at the end of the tunnel. From then on it's still down to you to make things change, but believing that you can is the first hurdle.
All the best to all of you.
[quote=Keepburgeringon ]After some advice really as feel like i'm really struggling and just reached a mental dead end , created a new ID, as I know a few people on here. Been following this thread for a while and seen some good advice
I can't even put into words really how I feel, a bit of a let down to my family, really fed up, angry, just frustrated and had enough, pushed my family and friends away, just feel like i've had enough and struggling with my mental health , everyday is proving to be a challenge.
Been a tough few years, we (well partner) had a few miscarriages, then a baby, which was lovely, but there have been a fair few complications with him. My misses did a great job , but I could really see postnatal depression kicking in and other issues.
After a while the depression kicked in more with my partner and following a blood test t she needed to see a specialist. Specialist has confirmed that she (my partner) has a lifelong untreatable disease, with many symptoms . A few weeks later, they said she is also starting the menopause early (late 30s)
She did well through this, but really struggled with depression, both our families whilst helpful at times aren't really around much and she doesn't have many friends, so it was up to me to help her through, which is fine, but I think its really taken its toll.Im also really worried my partner will get worse and any kind of sex life or even dates hasnt happened for months.
Ive felt a bit like an empty shell the last few years, I love my family ,but i've just felt so empty inside, not really getting stressed,upset , but not happy or excited either, I just always felt "the same"..just empty.
I think ive used lots of exercise to pull me through , gym,cycling and yoga pulling me through OK, then I sprained my leg for the last few weeks so haven't been able to do anything and wont be able to for the next few weeks at least. I think the lack of exercise has seen my mood drop off . I can walk ok, but anything else causes issues (seen the DR). Thankfully i have a desk job, but it means im sat down 24-7
Then there is the financial aspect, whilst we aren't massively in debt, we pretty much live hand to mouth . My salary is OK, but I Haven't made the most of my career and opportunities and it really eats me up. We need a bigger house, as our son sleeps in with us at nearly 3, but can barely afford to cover our current rent. I really want the motivation to better myself, but just feel stuck in a hole with no way out
Its all kinda come to ahead the last few weeks and I just feel a constant fog inside my head and just want to sleep, I keep telling myself there are plenty worse off, but I cant snap out of it.
Sorry for the rambling, just want seeing if anyone can offer any advice , maybe books or something? I've got a drs appointment booked next week
Thanks all
If you could, what would you change.
I can't even put into words really how I feel, a bit of a let down to my family, really fed up, angry, just frustrated and had enough, pushed my family and friends away, just feel like i've had enough and struggling with my mental health , everyday is proving to be a challenge.
Been a tough few years, we (well partner) had a few miscarriages, then a baby, which was lovely, but there have been a fair few complications with him. My misses did a great job , but I could really see postnatal depression kicking in and other issues.
After a while the depression kicked in more with my partner and following a blood test t she needed to see a specialist. Specialist has confirmed that she (my partner) has a lifelong untreatable disease, with many symptoms . A few weeks later, they said she is also starting the menopause early (late 30s)
She did well through this, but really struggled with depression, both our families whilst helpful at times aren't really around much and she doesn't have many friends, so it was up to me to help her through, which is fine, but I think its really taken its toll.Im also really worried my partner will get worse and any kind of sex life or even dates hasnt happened for months.
Ive felt a bit like an empty shell the last few years, I love my family ,but i've just felt so empty inside, not really getting stressed,upset , but not happy or excited either, I just always felt "the same"..just empty.
I think ive used lots of exercise to pull me through , gym,cycling and yoga pulling me through OK, then I sprained my leg for the last few weeks so haven't been able to do anything and wont be able to for the next few weeks at least. I think the lack of exercise has seen my mood drop off . I can walk ok, but anything else causes issues (seen the DR). Thankfully i have a desk job, but it means im sat down 24-7
Then there is the financial aspect, whilst we aren't massively in debt, we pretty much live hand to mouth . My salary is OK, but I Haven't made the most of my career and opportunities and it really eats me up. We need a bigger house, as our son sleeps in with us at nearly 3, but can barely afford to cover our current rent. I really want the motivation to better myself, but just feel stuck in a hole with no way out
Its all kinda come to ahead the last few weeks and I just feel a constant fog inside my head and just want to sleep, I keep telling myself there are plenty worse off, but I cant snap out of it.
Sorry for the rambling, just want seeing if anyone can offer any advice , maybe books or something? I've got a drs appointment booked next week
Thanks all
If you could, what would you change.
grumbledoak said:
Keepburgeringon said:
Its all kinda come to ahead the last few weeks and I just feel a constant fog inside my head and just want to sleep, I keep telling myself there are plenty worse off, but I cant snap out of it.
Sorry for the rambling, just want seeing if anyone can offer any advice , maybe books or something? I've got a drs appointment booked next week
One touch of silver lining, if you can see it that way, is that you do have reasons to be struggling - toddlers are wonderful but they are also hard work, and you've got PND and more besides.Sorry for the rambling, just want seeing if anyone can offer any advice , maybe books or something? I've got a drs appointment booked next week
See the GP and try the anti-depressants. They aren't happy pills, they don't turn you into a grinning idiot, they take away the feeling that there can never be a light at the end of the tunnel. From then on it's still down to you to make things change, but believing that you can is the first hurdle.
All the best to all of you.
Good luck !
This is a bit OT but I suffer with a couple of issues with sleeping and this just made a bit of sense to me...thought I'd share http://www.nosleeplessnights.com/false-awakening/
Ruskie said:
Nice to see a bit of "up-beat" mate 
Always good to remember the good times.Bit of practical advice sought here if possible, as I thought it might be better on this thread than in Finance.
In 2013 I was diagnosed with acute panic disorder and depression following a nervous breakdown. I'm in my late 30s but have been susceptible to depression since my teens, was on sleeping tablets for much of university for example, however it came to a head in 2013 when I just couldn't face my job anymore, was found crying uncontrollably and fitting at the side of the road etc. etc. I had to take 4 months off, lots of assessments, meds, course of psychiatry and then jacked in my job to change career to something I actually wanted to do, despite taking a year off (unpaid) to get a MSc to enable the change and then starting a new career on a salary a third of what I was earning previously.
I have been feeling down over the past six months for a number of reasons, not all work related by any means, and had started medication again (Citalopram up to 30mg dose prescribed by the GP) but have come off them as I didn't feel they were changing much. So day to day is ok, not great, but I think I can cope with how I feel and it doesn't impact on my work - 0 days off ill for any reason in the past 2 years (until getting the flu this weekend), performing really well - in short the feelings are still there but not impacting my daily life too much.
Anyway, here's the thing. With my change of career (no life cover when getting back on the bottom of the ladder) and addition of a young son, I'm attempting to get some life insurance cover and not getting especially far - after filling in the online forms I've been turned down flat by a few of the 'big boys' and all the others want doctor's details to contact for my medical history before quoting me. Now, I completely understand why they want this and that I'm not as acceptable a risk as someone without my history but I get the feeling I'm going to get stiffed on the premiums and don't want necessarily to have to get doctor's details to lots of different insurers just to get quotes that I can then compare when I'm not particularly well informed as to whether any of them will be any good.
So, does anyone have experience of this and as to whether any companies are especially good at providing competitive cover for people who have/have had mental health issues or whether they are any recommended brokers who might save some of the hassle and hopefully find the best policy and price for me. A quick Google has come up with a couple, but I wondered whether anyone had had experience of getting life insurance and declaring these types of 'issues'.
What makes me laugh is that a couple of the firms who refused to quote me asked about drug use and I couldn't see cannabis on their lists. So, I could be a complete stoner (which I'm not) and get cover!
TIA
In 2013 I was diagnosed with acute panic disorder and depression following a nervous breakdown. I'm in my late 30s but have been susceptible to depression since my teens, was on sleeping tablets for much of university for example, however it came to a head in 2013 when I just couldn't face my job anymore, was found crying uncontrollably and fitting at the side of the road etc. etc. I had to take 4 months off, lots of assessments, meds, course of psychiatry and then jacked in my job to change career to something I actually wanted to do, despite taking a year off (unpaid) to get a MSc to enable the change and then starting a new career on a salary a third of what I was earning previously.
I have been feeling down over the past six months for a number of reasons, not all work related by any means, and had started medication again (Citalopram up to 30mg dose prescribed by the GP) but have come off them as I didn't feel they were changing much. So day to day is ok, not great, but I think I can cope with how I feel and it doesn't impact on my work - 0 days off ill for any reason in the past 2 years (until getting the flu this weekend), performing really well - in short the feelings are still there but not impacting my daily life too much.
Anyway, here's the thing. With my change of career (no life cover when getting back on the bottom of the ladder) and addition of a young son, I'm attempting to get some life insurance cover and not getting especially far - after filling in the online forms I've been turned down flat by a few of the 'big boys' and all the others want doctor's details to contact for my medical history before quoting me. Now, I completely understand why they want this and that I'm not as acceptable a risk as someone without my history but I get the feeling I'm going to get stiffed on the premiums and don't want necessarily to have to get doctor's details to lots of different insurers just to get quotes that I can then compare when I'm not particularly well informed as to whether any of them will be any good.
So, does anyone have experience of this and as to whether any companies are especially good at providing competitive cover for people who have/have had mental health issues or whether they are any recommended brokers who might save some of the hassle and hopefully find the best policy and price for me. A quick Google has come up with a couple, but I wondered whether anyone had had experience of getting life insurance and declaring these types of 'issues'.
What makes me laugh is that a couple of the firms who refused to quote me asked about drug use and I couldn't see cannabis on their lists. So, I could be a complete stoner (which I'm not) and get cover!
TIA
My workplace offers us life insurance no questions asked, thankfully, though I haven't officially had depression for well over a decade. I also have a cheap life insurance deal with Scottish widows to cover the mortgage only if I croak and whilst I did declare it, it didn't seem to have much impact.
edited to remove a bit of chuntering - basically as I am usually positive and active, I seem to elicit disbelief that I could actually have some pretty down periods.
edited to remove a bit of chuntering - basically as I am usually positive and active, I seem to elicit disbelief that I could actually have some pretty down periods.
Edited by oldbanger on Wednesday 1st March 12:13
Ruskie said:
Cool blog post!!xjay1337 said:
Could be better.
Completely out of the blue my team was made redundant at work. No warnings.
So now I'm scrambling around trying to find a job.
Just as everything was going well.....
Found a new job.Completely out of the blue my team was made redundant at work. No warnings.
So now I'm scrambling around trying to find a job.
Just as everything was going well.....
It's very different to my old one. I feel totally lost and uprooted.
Being in the office all the time is also new, and totally out of my comfort zone.
I spent 1/4 the time with my partner as I did before, this is also getting me very down. It doesn't help at the moment she is working nights so I see her for 30 minutes in the evenings and then she's off.
One of my biggest concerns is having to travel. I don't mind travelling in the day, infact I prefer that to being in the office, but the idea of having to travel away for nights on end is very very very worrying and I'm basically having little panic attacks all day. I haven't ever felt like this in a new job before.
On my first day my Mrs met me for lunch I was so close to just crying in the car , I could barely look at her.
The people are nice, I can learn the tech, but I can't explain how I feel. Just lost , scared , out of my comfort zone.
I think if I could have a few WFH days that would help. But I'm not really sure how to raise that with my bosses, as in my previous jobs the office has been 1hr + and here the office is 20 minute drive. Just the ability to have even 1 or 2 days from home, even if I use it as a chance to read training material etc, would help so much.
I can't really go "I'm struggling being in an office environment and miss being at home, can you let me work from home please".
Ruskie said:
Glad you are a bit more positive there Sounds like the dream lol
I've spent the best part of two hours reading back through some of this thread tonight. I've lurked on here for a while but I've never had the courage to post anything. I've also spent a short while wondering what I'm actually typing to post here or if I'll post anything at all. I'm having a secret battle with depression, I have been for what feels like forever. In fact this is the first time I've ever typed, written or said it outside of my own mind.
I thought things were looking up 6 months ago when I got a job that I loved and I started to feel better about life and myself, but I lost that due to company cuts last month. I've also met a girl I like a lot but my depression, self hate and everything that comes with it is getting in the way. So much so I think I've messed things up there as I usually do.
So I just wanted to at least put something out there because I'm at the lowest point of my life so far. It's scary and lonely.
I thought things were looking up 6 months ago when I got a job that I loved and I started to feel better about life and myself, but I lost that due to company cuts last month. I've also met a girl I like a lot but my depression, self hate and everything that comes with it is getting in the way. So much so I think I've messed things up there as I usually do.
So I just wanted to at least put something out there because I'm at the lowest point of my life so far. It's scary and lonely.
Cie said:
I've spent the best part of two hours reading back through some of this thread tonight. I've lurked on here for a while but I've never had the courage to post anything. I've also spent a short while wondering what I'm actually typing to post here or if I'll post anything at all. I'm having a secret battle with depression, I have been for what feels like forever. In fact this is the first time I've ever typed, written or said it outside of my own mind.
I thought things were looking up 6 months ago when I got a job that I loved and I started to feel better about life and myself, but I lost that due to company cuts last month. I've also met a girl I like a lot but my depression, self hate and everything that comes with it is getting in the way. So much so I think I've messed things up there as I usually do.
So I just wanted to at least put something out there because I'm at the lowest point of my life so far. It's scary and lonely.
Well done for taking the first step. I thought things were looking up 6 months ago when I got a job that I loved and I started to feel better about life and myself, but I lost that due to company cuts last month. I've also met a girl I like a lot but my depression, self hate and everything that comes with it is getting in the way. So much so I think I've messed things up there as I usually do.
So I just wanted to at least put something out there because I'm at the lowest point of my life so far. It's scary and lonely.
Ruskie said:
Hey Ruskie, just read your blog post.It doesn't sound good. Some of the things you write are quite worrying.
Please check in to ensure you are OK. Feel free to rant.
For me, I have had over a year off the meds, but today I have booked an appointment with the doctor for later this afternoon, I need to go back, I am not doing very well at the moment.
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