Just about the worst day of my life
Discussion
t week H67, great news .
Hammer67 said:
Update time. Blimey how time flies.
Well, J's time at his autism specific school (Bradstow in Broadstairs)comes to an end this July. He's 19 now and the placement has worked out about as well as anyone could have wished for. He's thrived and in so many ways has progressed hugely. Not by any "normal" measure obviously but insofar as his autism allows, he's a changed lad. Much calmer, much more tolerant of things that he finds stressful, much more communicative and meltdowns are now just a painful memory.
Can't speak highly enough of Bradstow and the staff there, wonderful, committed people who do a job I couldn't begin to even contemplate.
What now? Well, Bradstow pointed us in the direction of St Piers in Lingfield which is a college for young adults suffering from a variety of conditions, mainly epilepsy and autism. We paid them a visit, were very, very impressed with the people and the facilities and immediately applied for a place. J spent 2 days there having an in depth assessment for suitability and was offered a place.
A short, sharp battle for funding was won and he starts there in September, potentially for up to 4 years until he's 23. Brilliant news and a huge weight off our minds, a few more years for us all to progress and plan for his life as an adult when he will, we hope, be able to live peacefully at home with his family.
In other news, have been watching the first 2 episodes of The A Word on the Beeb, and finding it hard to watch, a virtual mirror image of what we went through all those years ago. Hopefully it will raise awareness of autism and similar conditions, and, perhaps more importantly, what the families of those affected go through.
If anyone is still reading at this point, Thanks.
Fantastic to read. I've since left the Care world, but used to work with people who used to go to St Piers'. I have heard nothing but good things about them.Well, J's time at his autism specific school (Bradstow in Broadstairs)comes to an end this July. He's 19 now and the placement has worked out about as well as anyone could have wished for. He's thrived and in so many ways has progressed hugely. Not by any "normal" measure obviously but insofar as his autism allows, he's a changed lad. Much calmer, much more tolerant of things that he finds stressful, much more communicative and meltdowns are now just a painful memory.
Can't speak highly enough of Bradstow and the staff there, wonderful, committed people who do a job I couldn't begin to even contemplate.
What now? Well, Bradstow pointed us in the direction of St Piers in Lingfield which is a college for young adults suffering from a variety of conditions, mainly epilepsy and autism. We paid them a visit, were very, very impressed with the people and the facilities and immediately applied for a place. J spent 2 days there having an in depth assessment for suitability and was offered a place.
A short, sharp battle for funding was won and he starts there in September, potentially for up to 4 years until he's 23. Brilliant news and a huge weight off our minds, a few more years for us all to progress and plan for his life as an adult when he will, we hope, be able to live peacefully at home with his family.
In other news, have been watching the first 2 episodes of The A Word on the Beeb, and finding it hard to watch, a virtual mirror image of what we went through all those years ago. Hopefully it will raise awareness of autism and similar conditions, and, perhaps more importantly, what the families of those affected go through.
If anyone is still reading at this point, Thanks.
All the best for the future.
First time I've seen this thread. From been depressed, gutted, nearly in tears, to smiling, the world feels a better place now. And I still can't begin to imagine the emotions you must have been through.
I hope things keep improving for you, top guy, you've had it tough but you and your family have a lot to be proud of. Keep on keeping on, mate.
I hope things keep improving for you, top guy, you've had it tough but you and your family have a lot to be proud of. Keep on keeping on, mate.
Seems like i've come late to the party here. I've just taken 15 minutes out of my working day to read this.
What a struggle you have been through as a person and as a family. To do what you have done is something I cant even come to imagine how hard it must of been for you. I myself do not have children yet but hope i have the strength and patience that you have.
Im glad to hear everything is working out for you now. Im happy to hear that J has come along way since you first posted this,.
I wish you all the best. m
What a struggle you have been through as a person and as a family. To do what you have done is something I cant even come to imagine how hard it must of been for you. I myself do not have children yet but hope i have the strength and patience that you have.
Im glad to hear everything is working out for you now. Im happy to hear that J has come along way since you first posted this,.
I wish you all the best. m
The most heart-breaking and at the same time reassuring threads on PH.
Can't begin to imagine what you and your family have been through. It is so cruel.
I want to say something profound but there's nothing. It seems so weak saying that I, like everyone else on this thread, wish you all the best.
Can't begin to imagine what you and your family have been through. It is so cruel.
I want to say something profound but there's nothing. It seems so weak saying that I, like everyone else on this thread, wish you all the best.
What a nice update - thankyou lots for coming back to provide it!
I will speculate now that after 4 years at college, J may well want and be ready for living in his own place, with support - might even find himself a housemate from college, that's not unusual and can work quite neatly in terms of shared support when people have compatible needs. Just sort of floating that as an idea - might be nice having grownup offspring nearby, visitable but living in his own space.
I will speculate now that after 4 years at college, J may well want and be ready for living in his own place, with support - might even find himself a housemate from college, that's not unusual and can work quite neatly in terms of shared support when people have compatible needs. Just sort of floating that as an idea - might be nice having grownup offspring nearby, visitable but living in his own space.
FlyingMeeces said:
What a nice update - thankyou lots for coming back to provide it!
I will speculate now that after 4 years at college, J may well want and be ready for living in his own place, with support - might even find himself a housemate from college, that's not unusual and can work quite neatly in terms of shared support when people have compatible needs. Just sort of floating that as an idea - might be nice having grownup offspring nearby, visitable but living in his own space.
Well, that's possible of course but J is nowhere near a level where he could operate independently or anywhere close to it. He requires full time care and supervision. He's 19 with a mental age of, probly a 6 or 7 year old. Mrs H67 has deep seated concerns about his vulnerability and wants him home once college is done. We have organized our lives ready for when that day arrives whether it be tomorrow or in 3 or 4 years time. We run our business from home and have built a large log cabin in the garden so J will have his own space. Thanks to you and everyone else who has commented or read this thread, it helps greatly knowing people care and encourage us. H67I will speculate now that after 4 years at college, J may well want and be ready for living in his own place, with support - might even find himself a housemate from college, that's not unusual and can work quite neatly in terms of shared support when people have compatible needs. Just sort of floating that as an idea - might be nice having grownup offspring nearby, visitable but living in his own space.
Silver993tt said:
What's his diet like? He should be avoiding all wheat based and dairy products and be on a 100% gluten free diet. If not this should be tried for a period of at least 3 months.
Been there, was a few years ago now but had no effect whatsoever. J eats anything and everything that is put in front of him. By his own choice he drinks water, he loves coke but only gets it as an occasional treat. Never drinks tea or coffee or any alcohol. As a baby/toddler his diet was very limited, marmite on toast mainly but now he eats very well, and much more healthily than your average 19yo.
He's never suffered from any sort of digestion or bowel problems, his weight is fine if slightly under what it might be and apart from some eczma type dry skin issues he is very healthy.
Refresh my memory, what makes you say "this should be tried"? What would you expect to change? As I say it's been a while and can't quite recall the reasons for going gluten and dairy free.
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