Don`t know where to start, have just returned from putting my 15yo autistic son into emergency social services care. My family is in total meltdown, Mrs H67 and little Miss H67 are completely shot away.

Today I`ve been attacked by my own flesh and blood, watched him rage like a wild animal, seen him head butt his way through walls,I`ve had police, paramedics, social workers, carers, doctors crawling all over the house.

I`ve never felt so low, sat here crying like a baby, totally shattered and numb.

Autism ~ a short word hiding a monster. A monster I`ve been fighting for 12 years,well,today it has finally beaten me.

Hell that's sobering. I'm really sorry to hear about it and hope that somehow you can find some positives to help move forward.

Don't know what else to say but wish you all the very best

I can't help, but I wish you all the best.

Hi,

I want to let you know im thinking of you. I dont have family members with Autism or indeed care for anyone that has it but i do work for a large company that does. I have seen our clients experiance challenging behaviour and I have watched in awe as those who support them deal with it.

It sounds like you are struggling with those behaviours and please dont feel ashamed that you have done anything wrong. You needed some support and unfortunately that came in the form of emergancy support. If the people who are caring for your son right now are anything like the people I work with then your son and you are very lucky people. I am in awe on a daily basis of the patience and understanding our support workers have.

Dont look at this as the end of something more of a new chapter. It may well be you discover new ways to meet your sons needs that werent apparent before. Sometimes change can be good for the whole family.

I really hope your son recieves the care he deserves and needs and also that you as a family are supported through this difficult time.

You have my every sympathy and all my respect for doing the best for your son.
xx

This is where you need to focus your efforts. Full credit to you for looking after you son for the last 15 years, but sometimes you end up causing more damage to other family members.

There is no need for you to feel guilty. You have done the right thing.

Unfortunately you cannot love a serious condition better. It is a lesson for all parents of damaged or otherwise permanently disabled children.

You need to recognise and understand that this condition requires permanent secure treatment. It cannot be dealt with in a family home.

My son in law runs several Autistic homes in East Anglia. He is a 6'5" ex Coldstream Guards officer and massive in size and strength and knowledge of combat. He still has to be careful with his clients who can snap at a moments notice.

He is a real gentle giant and a really gentle man. But he would not attempt to manage a serious case of Autistic rage on his own. Lesson for us all.

This condition cannot be loved better. You would really be better served if you accept and convince your family to accept that a permanent secure facility is essential to your son's welfare and your families future.

I have every sympathy for your situation.

I have left comment this till the end of the post because I think the solution is sadly not sympathy.

I wholeheartedly recommend a permanent secure home for your son.

+1 all the best

I don't have kids and I don't particularly like kids, but that made for very uncomfortable reading. I really feel for you

You and your family have done an incredible job for the last 15 yrs and I'm sure endured more than most can even start to imagine in terms of stress, frustration and heartache. You should not (although probably impossible) feel any guilt as the condition has become too much for you, your family and your son to manage. He will benefit greatly from specialist care and you will be able to visit him and love him without the terrible stress and frustrations you have been under. Consider this... some parents put their kids in boarding school aged 5 or 6!
Try not to let the situation get on top of you and bring you down, cope with life minute by minute hour by hour for a while and don't worry about the past or future. I hope very much that you manage to start picking up the pieces and look for any positives you can find in this very difficult situation.
If you need and ear please pm me, I'd be more than happy to listen. All the best mate.

Thanks sjc and all above for your kind words and also for the harsh but true stuff.

We`ve probably known for some years this day would arrive and we`d reach the end of our ability to manage and cope. Trouble is you never stop hoping and praying it won`t. The way it happened will haunt me.

The real hero is Mrs H, many times over the years when I`ve shied away from the situation,she`s never wavered, never lost her fierce all encompassing love for our son. Which of course made what happened on Monday so tough for her. She even got a job working with autistic children and helping parents with newly diagnosed children.