Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
bigandclever said:
Feel your pain brother. My dad's been sent home with no treatment... lung cancer diagnosis just over a year ago, treatment and therapy looked positive then a checkup last weekend, after some falls, showed it had spread to his brain. Think I'm in denial.
Look after yourself.
I'm so sorry Look after yourself.
PomBstard said:
Well, I'll be the third bit of bad news in a row. Found out last night that my mum has been diagnosed with a secondary cancer, not sure of the primary, but currently points to ovarian. Apparently one of the more lethal ones due to usual late diagnosis.
Currently wracked with guilt as we live in Australia, and I've got three young kids so can't just nip off. I always knew there would be a need to get back to the UK, but always thought it would be years away - Mum's 68. She has a fantastic network of friends that are all looking after her, but, well, I think some may know where I'm at.
Anyway, expecting full diagnosis tomorrow, so will plan from there.
Currently wracked with guilt as we live in Australia, and I've got three young kids so can't just nip off. I always knew there would be a need to get back to the UK, but always thought it would be years away - Mum's 68. She has a fantastic network of friends that are all looking after her, but, well, I think some may know where I'm at.
Anyway, expecting full diagnosis tomorrow, so will plan from there.
Fingers crossed
I'd be planning & come over to see her now anyway I think...
Ali_kat thanks, that is appreciated
Bigandclever sorry to hear about your dad, wish you and yours well
Pombstard sorry to hear about your mum, wish you and yours well. I know it's a very poor substitute for being there, but at least we have FaceTime / video Skype these days. Not my place to judge, but if you feel the need to travel, act on it.
Bigandclever sorry to hear about your dad, wish you and yours well
Pombstard sorry to hear about your mum, wish you and yours well. I know it's a very poor substitute for being there, but at least we have FaceTime / video Skype these days. Not my place to judge, but if you feel the need to travel, act on it.
Ali, JP - thanks for the notes. Yes, travel plans currently being drawn but need to work around diagnosis and next steps. Regular contact has been in place for nearly 14 years, so we know the system works! Am also in contact with Mum's best friend - they've known each other for about 55 years - well placed to help.
Have read much of this thread on and off in the past but I suppose, like others, I didn't really think I'd be a contributor. Sobering.
Have read much of this thread on and off in the past but I suppose, like others, I didn't really think I'd be a contributor. Sobering.
Pretty sure I have contributed to this thread in the past. The updates from me are not good.
My 52 year old next door neighbour, who went to the doctor just before Xmas with headaches and dizziness, and was subsequently found to have cancer in several major organs, is no longer my neighbour as of a week or so back
And my mother in law, whose Alzheimers apparently prevented her from telling anyone in the family that she was passing blood and experiencing abdominal pain, finally caved in to that pain a few weeks back and was admitted for an emergency op, during which they removed a large malignant tumour from her bowel, created (is that the right term?) a stoma, and pronounced that the cancer had spread to a terminal level and that further surgery or other treatment was not possible (she's tiny and very frail). Now playing the waiting game on that one, they think about 6 months.
It's all crap, isn't it.
My 52 year old next door neighbour, who went to the doctor just before Xmas with headaches and dizziness, and was subsequently found to have cancer in several major organs, is no longer my neighbour as of a week or so back
And my mother in law, whose Alzheimers apparently prevented her from telling anyone in the family that she was passing blood and experiencing abdominal pain, finally caved in to that pain a few weeks back and was admitted for an emergency op, during which they removed a large malignant tumour from her bowel, created (is that the right term?) a stoma, and pronounced that the cancer had spread to a terminal level and that further surgery or other treatment was not possible (she's tiny and very frail). Now playing the waiting game on that one, they think about 6 months.
It's all crap, isn't it.
N7GTX said:
Just caught up with this amazing thread. Old man died of prostate cancer aged 69, mother had breast cancer but survived for almost 30 years unbelievably as she continued to smoke 30 a day. Her brother lasted around 10 years with prostate cancer. Think there's a family history here....
So, at 60 was offered a check up by the GP and told them of the history - 'no we don't do prostate cancer checks' and they never bothered to add the details to my notes.
Fast forward to July last year and diagnosed with locally advanced prostate cancer. Consultant issued these immortal words, 'you should have been here 3 years ago'.
Had the biopsy, then 28 days of pills to stop tumour flare followed by Prostap 3 monthly injections. Dizziness, hot flushes (lots of them), sore nipples to name some side effects. Started the radiotherapy in December with 37 planned sessions. As I write, just 8 to go and the side effects get worse. Got up 6 times in the night for a pee on Saturday and it stings like hell and takes forever to dribble out. Permanent indigestion, wind and rectal damage so not having a right lot of laughs just now. The radio effects last for 2-3 weeks after completion so I'll be well glad when March gets here. Except that I remain on the Prostap for 3 years and if not rejected, for 10. Hey ho.
Thoughts are with all you out there fighting this absolute b
d of a disease. 
Well, back in Feb I wrote the above. The side effects of the radio stuff have long gone so just the Prostap to contend with these days. PSA level of 0.1% should make me feel a bit happier but somehow it doesn't. Can be driving along then start crying for no reason at all. Tiredness and insomnia - how crazy is that? Silly hot sweats. Dread going to bed cos I wont sleep for more than 90 mins. And when you meet friends they all say, 'you're looking well'.So, at 60 was offered a check up by the GP and told them of the history - 'no we don't do prostate cancer checks' and they never bothered to add the details to my notes.
Fast forward to July last year and diagnosed with locally advanced prostate cancer. Consultant issued these immortal words, 'you should have been here 3 years ago'.
Had the biopsy, then 28 days of pills to stop tumour flare followed by Prostap 3 monthly injections. Dizziness, hot flushes (lots of them), sore nipples to name some side effects. Started the radiotherapy in December with 37 planned sessions. As I write, just 8 to go and the side effects get worse. Got up 6 times in the night for a pee on Saturday and it stings like hell and takes forever to dribble out. Permanent indigestion, wind and rectal damage so not having a right lot of laughs just now. The radio effects last for 2-3 weeks after completion so I'll be well glad when March gets here. Except that I remain on the Prostap for 3 years and if not rejected, for 10. Hey ho.
Thoughts are with all you out there fighting this absolute b
d of a disease. Just as I was finishing the radiotherapy my brother (2 years younger) called to see how I was doing. Then he said he'd had a heart attack last August but didn't want anyone to know (?). Anyway he's over that and in Feb he went for a prostate check at my insistence. And yes, you've guessed correctly, he has prostate cancer - stage 2 so contained. But due to the heart attack he cannot have surgery so radiotherapy for him now.
Many years ago, Waddingtons the games manufacturer, used an advertising slogan which I'm going to misquote: Cancer, a game for all the family.
tdm34 said:
RIP,
I lost my wife of nearly 31 years back in late June, it was her second bought of this vile condition in ten years, she fought so hard but it finally caught up with her on the 24th of June, Gill died at home, in peace with her loving family around her, the emptiness is huge I know it's only been just over two weeks, so I always look at this Photo as I think it says everything about her...
Seeing photos of people makes it so more real for the reader.I lost my wife of nearly 31 years back in late June, it was her second bought of this vile condition in ten years, she fought so hard but it finally caught up with her on the 24th of June, Gill died at home, in peace with her loving family around her, the emptiness is huge I know it's only been just over two weeks, so I always look at this Photo as I think it says everything about her...
It's upset me a great deal seeing this photo. I'm not sure why.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
She looks like a terrifically fun and nice person.
What better partner than someone with a ready smile and can see off a full English.
Holy fk. Where to start?
HD Adam, don't be sorry about a "bad news" update. Life - and death - can be unremittingly st sometimes.
tdm34, what a belting picture of your lovely other half. It made me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time.
Driving me nuts/Russell. fk. fking fkity fking fk. He wrote so eloquently and I found his outlook and insight inspiring. Truly one of the good guys and what a fking piss take that he died so suddenly and so young, when really, his life really should have been "on the up" after all he'd already been through.
Gruffy - a mate of mine rode TCR a couple of years back and I'm hoping to do some checkpoint type stuff for next year's event. It's a truly incredible achievement to even get off the start line, so every credit to you.
As the OP of the thread, it was a little bit indulgent of me when I started it. I was in a really bad place with my mental health (PTSD with side helpings of anxiety, stress and depression). The thread gave me a chance to vent without having to "invest" any of my diminishing store of being able to cope with "stuff". I've not checked back here for a while and I never know whether I'm glad when I do or not. There is always good and bad news. In a way, I'm glad the thread has allowed people to talk and listen, but at the same time, I hate reading the bad news.
I don't think I've met any of the contributors to this thread in real life, but each and every one has given me pause for though, some smiles and more than a few tears - some happy, some sad, some heartbreaking. On the plus side, my best mate is still clear, three years on and our other friend who also had cancer is still here after 15 (we are all 47). So indulge me a little bit more as I raise a glass of red to you all - contributors, loved ones, those gone, those still here. And, as ever, from me (through the tears), once more, from the top, with feeling:
fk you, cancer, you fking insidious piece of friend and family stealing utter st bag of a filthy scumbag, guttersnipe, piss stain bit of mutating fkup disease. fk off. fk right off. fk off all the way, right over there, and when you get there, keep going and then fk off a bit more, just for good measure.
k. Where to start?HD Adam, don't be sorry about a "bad news" update. Life - and death - can be unremittingly s
t sometimes.tdm34, what a belting picture of your lovely other half. It made me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time.
Driving me nuts/Russell. f
k. fking fkity fking fk. He wrote so eloquently and I found his outlook and insight inspiring. Truly one of the good guys and what a fking piss take that he died so suddenly and so young, when really, his life really should have been "on the up" after all he'd already been through.Gruffy - a mate of mine rode TCR a couple of years back and I'm hoping to do some checkpoint type stuff for next year's event. It's a truly incredible achievement to even get off the start line, so every credit to you.
As the OP of the thread, it was a little bit indulgent of me when I started it. I was in a really bad place with my mental health (PTSD with side helpings of anxiety, stress and depression). The thread gave me a chance to vent without having to "invest" any of my diminishing store of being able to cope with "stuff". I've not checked back here for a while and I never know whether I'm glad when I do or not. There is always good and bad news. In a way, I'm glad the thread has allowed people to talk and listen, but at the same time, I hate reading the bad news.
I don't think I've met any of the contributors to this thread in real life, but each and every one has given me pause for though, some smiles and more than a few tears - some happy, some sad, some heartbreaking. On the plus side, my best mate is still clear, three years on and our other friend who also had cancer is still here after 15 (we are all 47). So indulge me a little bit more as I raise a glass of red to you all - contributors, loved ones, those gone, those still here. And, as ever, from me (through the tears), once more, from the top, with feeling:
f
k you, cancer, you fking insidious piece of friend and family stealing utter st bag of a filthy scumbag, guttersnipe, piss stain bit of mutating fkup disease. fk off. fk right off. fk off all the way, right over there, and when you get there, keep going and then fk off a bit more, just for good measure.longshot said:
tdm34 said:
RIP,
I lost my wife of nearly 31 years back in late June, it was her second bought of this vile condition in ten years, she fought so hard but it finally caught up with her on the 24th of June, Gill died at home, in peace with her loving family around her, the emptiness is huge I know it's only been just over two weeks, so I always look at this Photo as I think it says everything about her...
Seeing photos of people makes it so more real for the reader.I lost my wife of nearly 31 years back in late June, it was her second bought of this vile condition in ten years, she fought so hard but it finally caught up with her on the 24th of June, Gill died at home, in peace with her loving family around her, the emptiness is huge I know it's only been just over two weeks, so I always look at this Photo as I think it says everything about her...
It's upset me a great deal seeing this photo. I'm not sure why.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
She looks like a terrifically fun and nice person.
What better partner than someone with a ready smile and can see off a full English.
It's been six weeks now, and I think i'm finally coming to terms with things, but the smallest thing sets me off, it can be a piece of her favourite music on the radio, or buying three trifles at the supermarket when we used to buy four.
I'll never forget the reaction to her passing had on her hundreds of Facebook pals from all over the world they were all moved massively and i'm still responding to dozens of PMs I get on a weekly basis.
She passed four days before our 31st wedding anniversary, and I wont say that everything was peachy, we had our rows and fall outs but we always made up and got on with things
I miss Gill every waking minute, and on more than one occasion i've woken up and thought she was next to me. but when reality kicks in it's awful..
As you noticed Gill loved wacky hair colours, i'd leave for work in the morning and on my return it'd be a totally different hue..
in the last ten years hair colours ranged from Bright Green, Orange, Blue, Purple, Blonde, Black and many others...
CharlesdeGaulle said:
longshot said:
She looks like a terrifically fun and nice person.
What better partner than someone with a ready smile and can see off a full English.
I didn't post when tdm34 posted, but I thought the same. What better partner than someone with a ready smile and can see off a full English.
Good luck everyone that's affected by this vile thing.
tdm34 said:
Dibble said:
Holy fk. Where to start?
tdm34, what a belting picture of your lovely other half. It made me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time.
Thank you for your lovely words mate..k. Where to start?tdm34, what a belting picture of your lovely other half. It made me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time.
I really can't offer anything by way of useful comfort. The best person for that would of course have been drivin me nuts. I hope that somewhere, somehow, he's having a bit of a giggle at our expense and is making Gill laugh too.
You will have s
t days and you will have marginally less st days. Then sometime down the line, you will have a good day. It'll be something as mundane as a great bacon butty, tea or coffee of just the right hue, hitting all the green lights on the way somewhere and then a nice easy parking space. You might not laugh and smile, but you won't feel so much like crying. Enjoy that day when it comes and don't you dare feel remotely guilty about feeling happy. You deserve to.Gill sounds like a fantastic person and I'm truly sorry for your loss. Keep on keeping on.
tdm34 said:
She was a fantastic woman, caring, opinionated, loyal, funny, loving, a fantastic mother to our two kids, she would grieve for people unknown to us people like Stephen Sutton, James Bulger and anyone else taken early, she loved animals hated anyone cruel to animals, and as you noticed had the appetite of ten men. After her first bought of this vile condition in 2008 she undertook an Everest Base camp walk to raise over £3000 for The Christie but to give you an idea of her determination she did the walk only 8 weeks after having a hip replacement.. She humbled me with her strength.
It's been six weeks now, and I think i'm finally coming to terms with things, but the smallest thing sets me off, it can be a piece of her favourite music on the radio, or buying three trifles at the supermarket when we used to buy four.
I'll never forget the reaction to her passing had on her hundreds of Facebook pals from all over the world they were all moved massively and i'm still responding to dozens of PMs I get on a weekly basis.
She passed four days before our 31st wedding anniversary, and I wont say that everything was peachy, we had our rows and fall outs but we always made up and got on with things
I miss Gill every waking minute, and on more than one occasion i've woken up and thought she was next to me. but when reality kicks in it's awful..
As you noticed Gill loved wacky hair colours, i'd leave for work in the morning and on my return it'd be a totally different hue..
in the last ten years hair colours ranged from Bright Green, Orange, Blue, Purple, Blonde, Black and many others...
Thank you for sharing that.It's been six weeks now, and I think i'm finally coming to terms with things, but the smallest thing sets me off, it can be a piece of her favourite music on the radio, or buying three trifles at the supermarket when we used to buy four.
I'll never forget the reaction to her passing had on her hundreds of Facebook pals from all over the world they were all moved massively and i'm still responding to dozens of PMs I get on a weekly basis.
She passed four days before our 31st wedding anniversary, and I wont say that everything was peachy, we had our rows and fall outs but we always made up and got on with things
I miss Gill every waking minute, and on more than one occasion i've woken up and thought she was next to me. but when reality kicks in it's awful..
As you noticed Gill loved wacky hair colours, i'd leave for work in the morning and on my return it'd be a totally different hue..
in the last ten years hair colours ranged from Bright Green, Orange, Blue, Purple, Blonde, Black and many others...
I really enjoyed reading it and it brought tears to my eyes again.
What an indiscriminate s
t cancer is. No rhyme or reason.f
k you cancer, fk you.Dibble said:
As the OP of the thread,
I want to say thanks. Odd what we look for sometimes, and where we look for it, but this thread has allowed me to appreciate just what others go through, and to help me get my head around what I need to do.The individual personal experiences are all part of that, and so thanks to you all.
Mum's in for the biopsy today - oncologist is 99.9% certain its advanced ovarian, but they need the evidence. Tough few months ahead, and I'll be leaning on my fantastic wife for this too. I'll be heading back to the UK a few times, leaving her to manage three young kids and a full-time job.
Anyway, its also worth restating...
Dibble said:
fk you, cancer, you fking insidious piece of friend and family stealing utter st bag of a filthy scumbag, guttersnipe, piss stain bit of mutating fkup disease. fk off. fk right off. fk off all the way, right over there, and when you get there, keep going and then fk off a bit more, just for good measure.
k you, cancer, you fking insidious piece of friend and family stealing utter st bag of a filthy scumbag, guttersnipe, piss stain bit of mutating fkup disease. fk off. fk right off. fk off all the way, right over there, and when you get there, keep going and then fk off a bit more, just for good measure.Dibble said:
fk you, cancer, you fking insidious piece of friend and family stealing utter st bag of a filthy scumbag, guttersnipe, piss stain bit of mutating fkup disease. fk off. fk right off. fk off all the way, right over there, and when you get there, keep going and then fk off a bit more, just for good measure.
k you, cancer, you fking insidious piece of friend and family stealing utter st bag of a filthy scumbag, guttersnipe, piss stain bit of mutating fkup disease. fk off. fk right off. fk off all the way, right over there, and when you get there, keep going and then fk off a bit more, just for good measure.k it. fk it to hell.tdm34 said:
I miss Gill every waking minute, and on more than one occasion i've woken up and thought she was next to me. but when reality kicks in it's awful..
That I found one of the hardest. I could almost feel her breathing beside me and turning round to see an empty bed is the worst feeling in the world.During the last two weeks of her life and on heavy doses of morphine via a drive and as she chose to die at home I never really slept and even now I think I only have 4 or 5 hours a night still listening incase I have to attend for her and now I have a new wonderful, understanding and loving partner that 'worry' is still there and every tiny move I am instantly awake.
I am so tired
ali_kat said:
Gruffy said:
I hope this isn't insensitive to post here, but I'm using my participation in the Transcontinental Race (an extreme, non-stop, unsupported bike race across Europe) to raise funds for Cancer Research UK. I've been spared any personal contact with cancer so far but I've seen the torment of friends as they or their loved ones battle with it. I'm preaching to the choir, I know, but with 50% of us predicted to be affected by cancer in our lifetimes it means we all have a stake in this and any donation is an investment in the people we care about. Even the smallest contributions are incredible valuable as very penny raised goes towards making threads like this a little bit shorter.
Donate here via Just Giving
Transcontinental Race website
My race blog
This got lost so I'm bumping it because Gruffy is mad/awesome/brave/heroic/fundraising and I'm full of admiration for his epic adventures that start todayDonate here via Just Giving
Transcontinental Race website
My race blog
Gruffy has updated
"Achilles both shot. Left knee is blown. Refuse to quit because I'm riding for CRUK and you can't quit cancer!"
"My body shut down, hard, last night as I was 80km from Sarajevo. Coughing and shivering (it was 20C) I grabbed a hotel and have been trying to heal for the last 14 hours. Weather ahead is bad so I'm moving again to give myself the best options. Next stop, Montenegro. "
His JG notification sounds like his bike falling apart, so a few of us are trying to keep his spirits up by donating at 5pm each day, if you can spare a £ it's worth it
ali_kat said:
ali_kat said:
Gruffy said:
I hope this isn't insensitive to post here, but I'm using my participation in the Transcontinental Race (an extreme, non-stop, unsupported bike race across Europe) to raise funds for Cancer Research UK. I've been spared any personal contact with cancer so far but I've seen the torment of friends as they or their loved ones battle with it. I'm preaching to the choir, I know, but with 50% of us predicted to be affected by cancer in our lifetimes it means we all have a stake in this and any donation is an investment in the people we care about. Even the smallest contributions are incredible valuable as very penny raised goes towards making threads like this a little bit shorter.
Donate here via Just Giving
Transcontinental Race website
My race blog
This got lost so I'm bumping it because Gruffy is mad/awesome/brave/heroic/fundraising and I'm full of admiration for his epic adventures that start todayDonate here via Just Giving
Transcontinental Race website
My race blog
Gruffy has updated
"Achilles both shot. Left knee is blown. Refuse to quit because I'm riding for CRUK and you can't quit cancer!"
"My body shut down, hard, last night as I was 80km from Sarajevo. Coughing and shivering (it was 20C) I grabbed a hotel and have been trying to heal for the last 14 hours. Weather ahead is bad so I'm moving again to give myself the best options. Next stop, Montenegro. "
His JG notification sounds like his bike falling apart, so a few of us are trying to keep his spirits up by donating at 5pm each day, if you can spare a £ it's worth it
I have started to write a post on here several times but always end up deleting it. I am finding this hard to share but think I need to.
My husband was diagnosed with terminal Esophageal cancer last October and I felt like my world had ended. It had already spread through the lymph nodes to his chest. No operation was possible because of the stage and only chemo and radio therapy was offered. They gave him 3 to 6 months to live. He did respond well to the chemo and it seemed to slow things down a bit but the side effects of the chemo were terrible.
We made the decision to enjoy what time was left and we have done as much as possible. Both being petrol heads we have continued doing track days as he loves it so much. But time is running out and he is getting really sick now. He had a stent fitted in the gullet to help with eating but it's causing terrible pain. At the latest scan they informed us it has spread to his stomach. He has refused any further chemo and I must stand by his choice. Trying to be strong but things are getting on top of me now.
fking cancer is the pits
Jenny
My husband was diagnosed with terminal Esophageal cancer last October and I felt like my world had ended. It had already spread through the lymph nodes to his chest. No operation was possible because of the stage and only chemo and radio therapy was offered. They gave him 3 to 6 months to live. He did respond well to the chemo and it seemed to slow things down a bit but the side effects of the chemo were terrible.
We made the decision to enjoy what time was left and we have done as much as possible. Both being petrol heads we have continued doing track days as he loves it so much. But time is running out and he is getting really sick now. He had a stent fitted in the gullet to help with eating but it's causing terrible pain. At the latest scan they informed us it has spread to his stomach. He has refused any further chemo and I must stand by his choice. Trying to be strong but things are getting on top of me now.
f
king cancer is the pitsJenny
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