Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
- Blackflag: well done for the positive attitude. Good times to remember. Hope you are bearing up.
- sjc: I have no idea how you cope with this. Sums up the cruelty of this disease.
- mattuk89: I'm sure your dad just wants you to remember him as he was, not as you see him now. The drugs will be taking their toll and perhaps he's had enough. Just try to be there for him and yourself and mum.
- sjc: I have no idea how you cope with this. Sums up the cruelty of this disease.
- mattuk89: I'm sure your dad just wants you to remember him as he was, not as you see him now. The drugs will be taking their toll and perhaps he's had enough. Just try to be there for him and yourself and mum.
tdm34 said:
A slightly more upbeat thing happened yesterday, I received notification that Gills Memorial bench had been fitted on West Cliff at Whitby, so I decided on a PH style ride out, set out at 6pm and got back for 11pm, 255 miles in 5 hours including a 45 minute stop in Whitby to be at one with Gill and a bite to eat....
Gill loved Whitby, Motorbikes and Fish and Chips from the Magpie
That's really beautiful, just this one post has bought a tear to my eye.Gill loved Whitby, Motorbikes and Fish and Chips from the Magpie
TR4man said:
tdm34 said:
A slightly more upbeat thing happened yesterday, I received notification that Gills Memorial bench had been fitted on West Cliff at Whitby, so I decided on a PH style ride out, set out at 6pm and got back for 11pm, 255 miles in 5 hours including a 45 minute stop in Whitby to be at one with Gill and a bite to eat....
Gill loved Whitby, Motorbikes and Fish and Chips from the Magpie
That's really beautiful, just this one post has bought a tear to my eye.Gill loved Whitby, Motorbikes and Fish and Chips from the Magpie
Carlton Banks said:
I have wanted to contribute to this thread for a while but never can.
My father was diagnosed last year with a malignant brain tumour that was inoperable.
He went through chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy and was doing well for 10 months, then he had a grand mal seizure and he has been downhill since
He also lost his own mother but this happened whilst they were both in hospital (at different ends of the world) and that really shattered him. His mum (my gran) was his world.
However, he still is in good spirits despite all of this.
Going from a man who ran marathons to one who can't walk himself to the bathroom is such a sad sight but we are doing our best and 16months on he is still with us.
All I can say is that get as much help as you can as the hardest thing to cope with other than seeing a loved one suffer is the suffering for the other family members like my mother, sister and siblings
Anyway, best wishes to all and this disease robs people of their lives and independence in the cruelest way imaginable.
My old man is now much more Ill than when I first posted.My father was diagnosed last year with a malignant brain tumour that was inoperable.
He went through chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy and was doing well for 10 months, then he had a grand mal seizure and he has been downhill since
He also lost his own mother but this happened whilst they were both in hospital (at different ends of the world) and that really shattered him. His mum (my gran) was his world.
However, he still is in good spirits despite all of this.
Going from a man who ran marathons to one who can't walk himself to the bathroom is such a sad sight but we are doing our best and 16months on he is still with us.
All I can say is that get as much help as you can as the hardest thing to cope with other than seeing a loved one suffer is the suffering for the other family members like my mother, sister and siblings
Anyway, best wishes to all and this disease robs people of their lives and independence in the cruelest way imaginable.
No more treatment and he is bed ridden, doctors say he doesn't have long left at all.
He is not just a dad, but my best mate and so blessed to have had him as my father.
Fcyk fck fck fck!
Carlton Banks said:
Carlton Banks said:
I have wanted to contribute to this thread for a while but never can.
My father was diagnosed last year with a malignant brain tumour that was inoperable.
He went through chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy and was doing well for 10 months, then he had a grand mal seizure and he has been downhill since
He also lost his own mother but this happened whilst they were both in hospital (at different ends of the world) and that really shattered him. His mum (my gran) was his world.
However, he still is in good spirits despite all of this.
Going from a man who ran marathons to one who can't walk himself to the bathroom is such a sad sight but we are doing our best and 16months on he is still with us.
All I can say is that get as much help as you can as the hardest thing to cope with other than seeing a loved one suffer is the suffering for the other family members like my mother, sister and siblings
Anyway, best wishes to all and this disease robs people of their lives and independence in the cruelest way imaginable.
My old man is now much more Ill than when I first posted.My father was diagnosed last year with a malignant brain tumour that was inoperable.
He went through chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy and was doing well for 10 months, then he had a grand mal seizure and he has been downhill since
He also lost his own mother but this happened whilst they were both in hospital (at different ends of the world) and that really shattered him. His mum (my gran) was his world.
However, he still is in good spirits despite all of this.
Going from a man who ran marathons to one who can't walk himself to the bathroom is such a sad sight but we are doing our best and 16months on he is still with us.
All I can say is that get as much help as you can as the hardest thing to cope with other than seeing a loved one suffer is the suffering for the other family members like my mother, sister and siblings
Anyway, best wishes to all and this disease robs people of their lives and independence in the cruelest way imaginable.
No more treatment and he is bed ridden, doctors say he doesn't have long left at all.
He is not just a dad, but my best mate and so blessed to have had him as my father.
Fcyk fck fck fck!
Further to my post of Saturday, after mum collapsing out of the blue, the last 36 hours have seen her go from pretty much normal, laughing and ok..... To me and the family at her bedside waiting for her to pass away.I'll never laugh or even speak to her again.Seeing my dad fall apart after a love story of 62 years is even harder.
I've been utterly blessed with the pair of them up until this morning.
Good luck to everyone living with it or dealing with in any shape or form.
sjc said:
Ok.... Not posted on this thread before, but now it's my turn.My dad had his first bout of chemo this week for his Lymphoma, and came out of hospital this morning just as my mum was collapsing from the pain of her untreatable terminal bowel and liver cancer. f
king hell you of a disease give two decent people a fking break will you ?????
So sorry to hear about this mate.king hell you of a disease give two decent people a fking break will you ?????I wish I could think of something meaningful to write but all I can come up with is I'm so sorry. I am so sorry to read what everyone is going through, especially for those dealing with terminal diagnosis.
But also great to read when someone recovers from it aswell, let's hope we get more and more of these recoveries soon.
But also great to read when someone recovers from it aswell, let's hope we get more and more of these recoveries soon.
Thoughts with you all guys.
We lost my mother in law last year. One of the fittest and most active 76 year olds that you could wish to meet
Went to the doctors on the Wednesday as she couldn't flex her fingers - diagnosed as mini stroke and sent to hospital
Hospital scanned her as they recognised other strokes. Found cancer in lungs, liver and brain on the Friday
Saturday she had a massive stroke and was non-communicative from that point on with treatment pulled
From the Tuesday onwards me and my OH slept at the hospital to be with her. She went on the Sunday evening with us by her side - 11 days from everything being normal!
In one way we are glad that she didn't suffer long term, but it's been very difficult for my wife as she doesn't feel she got chance to say goodbye
A friend of ours lost her cousin at 31, and their 18 month old has some sort of tumour in her brain
Cancer's a proper ct. I think that is fing off is the best thing for everyone
We lost my mother in law last year. One of the fittest and most active 76 year olds that you could wish to meet
Went to the doctors on the Wednesday as she couldn't flex her fingers - diagnosed as mini stroke and sent to hospital
Hospital scanned her as they recognised other strokes. Found cancer in lungs, liver and brain on the Friday
Saturday she had a massive stroke and was non-communicative from that point on with treatment pulled
From the Tuesday onwards me and my OH slept at the hospital to be with her. She went on the Sunday evening with us by her side - 11 days from everything being normal!
In one way we are glad that she didn't suffer long term, but it's been very difficult for my wife as she doesn't feel she got chance to say goodbye
A friend of ours lost her cousin at 31, and their 18 month old has some sort of tumour in her brain
Cancer's a proper c
t. I think that is fing off is the best thing for everyonemattuk89 said:
My old man has gallbladder cancer which has spread to his liver, doctors stopped the chemo as it wasn't working as far as I'm aware and have passed him on to McMillan, he has lost lots of weight and recently has been sleeping a lot more, went to see him today and my mum was a mess as he hasn't been eating the last 2 days and can't get out of bed, and doesn't want too see anyone, my mum had to cancel 2 sets of visitors who were meant to be coming to see him.
I guess now his body is shutting down if he's not eating, it's hard to see him like this, and it's hard to see him and try to talk to him when he is tired and irritable, I just want to know how long he's got and it's hard to gauge how much and when to visit him, as I want to be there when he goes.
To answer my own questions the Macmillan nurse came and saw him today and suggested he went into the hospital, think he will be going tomorrow if a bed becomes free, hasn't eaten anything all day today, nurse said she don't think he will last longer than a couple of weeks, maybe less, it's all happened very quickly, he hasn't been well for a while, but this last week he's deteriorating very fast.I guess now his body is shutting down if he's not eating, it's hard to see him like this, and it's hard to see him and try to talk to him when he is tired and irritable, I just want to know how long he's got and it's hard to gauge how much and when to visit him, as I want to be there when he goes.
mattuk89 said:
mattuk89 said:
My old man has gallbladder cancer which has spread to his liver, doctors stopped the chemo as it wasn't working as far as I'm aware and have passed him on to McMillan, he has lost lots of weight and recently has been sleeping a lot more, went to see him today and my mum was a mess as he hasn't been eating the last 2 days and can't get out of bed, and doesn't want too see anyone, my mum had to cancel 2 sets of visitors who were meant to be coming to see him.
I guess now his body is shutting down if he's not eating, it's hard to see him like this, and it's hard to see him and try to talk to him when he is tired and irritable, I just want to know how long he's got and it's hard to gauge how much and when to visit him, as I want to be there when he goes.
To answer my own questions the Macmillan nurse came and saw him today and suggested he went into the hospital, think he will be going tomorrow if a bed becomes free, hasn't eaten anything all day today, nurse said she don't think he will last longer than a couple of weeks, maybe less, it's all happened very quickly, he hasn't been well for a while, but this last week he's deteriorating very fast.I guess now his body is shutting down if he's not eating, it's hard to see him like this, and it's hard to see him and try to talk to him when he is tired and irritable, I just want to know how long he's got and it's hard to gauge how much and when to visit him, as I want to be there when he goes.
king ing cancer!!! Was the last thing we expected tonight.Currently said waiting for funeral people to come and take him away, didn't even get a proper chance to say good bye as thought he would have a week or so left. Never take any time for granted!
sjc said:
Carlton Banks said:
Carlton Banks said:
I have wanted to contribute to this thread for a while but never can.
My father was diagnosed last year with a malignant brain tumour that was inoperable.
He went through chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy and was doing well for 10 months, then he had a grand mal seizure and he has been downhill since
He also lost his own mother but this happened whilst they were both in hospital (at different ends of the world) and that really shattered him. His mum (my gran) was his world.
However, he still is in good spirits despite all of this.
Going from a man who ran marathons to one who can't walk himself to the bathroom is such a sad sight but we are doing our best and 16months on he is still with us.
All I can say is that get as much help as you can as the hardest thing to cope with other than seeing a loved one suffer is the suffering for the other family members like my mother, sister and siblings
Anyway, best wishes to all and this disease robs people of their lives and independence in the cruelest way imaginable.
My old man is now much more Ill than when I first posted.My father was diagnosed last year with a malignant brain tumour that was inoperable.
He went through chemo, radiotherapy and immunotherapy and was doing well for 10 months, then he had a grand mal seizure and he has been downhill since
He also lost his own mother but this happened whilst they were both in hospital (at different ends of the world) and that really shattered him. His mum (my gran) was his world.
However, he still is in good spirits despite all of this.
Going from a man who ran marathons to one who can't walk himself to the bathroom is such a sad sight but we are doing our best and 16months on he is still with us.
All I can say is that get as much help as you can as the hardest thing to cope with other than seeing a loved one suffer is the suffering for the other family members like my mother, sister and siblings
Anyway, best wishes to all and this disease robs people of their lives and independence in the cruelest way imaginable.
No more treatment and he is bed ridden, doctors say he doesn't have long left at all.
He is not just a dad, but my best mate and so blessed to have had him as my father.
Fcyk fck fck fck!
Further to my post of Saturday, after mum collapsing out of the blue, the last 36 hours have seen her go from pretty much normal, laughing and ok..... To me and the family at her bedside waiting for her to pass away.I'll never laugh or even speak to her again.Seeing my dad fall apart after a love story of 62 years is even harder.
I've been utterly blessed with the pair of them up until this morning.
Good luck to everyone living with it or dealing with in any shape or form.
And she's passed, 48 hours after no sign whatsoever of any acceleration of the cancer it took her.
I've just woken up on the sofa at my grief stricken,chemo filled dad's place who is literally in bits.He collapsed and ended up being resuscitated outside my mums ward as we all left after our final goodbye....62 years of love leaves a big whole bless him.
Good luck to all of you .
I am so very sorry to read these last updates and my thoughts are with you. fking cancer sucks.
As I write this I am waiting for the Macmillan to come out to my husband. He has had a bad couple of days with severe pain. GP wanted to admit him to hospital yesterday but he refused to go.
Hope they can do something to help him at home.
king cancer sucks.As I write this I am waiting for the Macmillan to come out to my husband. He has had a bad couple of days with severe pain. GP wanted to admit him to hospital yesterday but he refused to go.
Hope they can do something to help him at home.
mattuk89 said:
mattuk89 said:
mattuk89 said:
My old man has gallbladder cancer which has spread to his liver, doctors stopped the chemo as it wasn't working as far as I'm aware and have passed him on to McMillan, he has lost lots of weight and recently has been sleeping a lot more, went to see him today and my mum was a mess as he hasn't been eating the last 2 days and can't get out of bed, and doesn't want too see anyone, my mum had to cancel 2 sets of visitors who were meant to be coming to see him.
I guess now his body is shutting down if he's not eating, it's hard to see him like this, and it's hard to see him and try to talk to him when he is tired and irritable, I just want to know how long he's got and it's hard to gauge how much and when to visit him, as I want to be there when he goes.
To answer my own questions the Macmillan nurse came and saw him today and suggested he went into the hospital, think he will be going tomorrow if a bed becomes free, hasn't eaten anything all day today, nurse said she don't think he will last longer than a couple of weeks, maybe less, it's all happened very quickly, he hasn't been well for a while, but this last week he's deteriorating very fast.I guess now his body is shutting down if he's not eating, it's hard to see him like this, and it's hard to see him and try to talk to him when he is tired and irritable, I just want to know how long he's got and it's hard to gauge how much and when to visit him, as I want to be there when he goes.
king ing cancer!!! Was the last thing we expected tonight.Currently said waiting for funeral people to come and take him away, didn't even get a proper chance to say good bye as thought he would have a week or so left. Never take any time for granted!
Dan_1981 said:
I'd love to ask as many of you as possible to sign up as a potential donor - it's such a simple process to register - they send you a couple of mouth swabs in the post - return them and that's it. You just might save someones life.
https://www.dkms.org.uk/en
I have also signed up to DKMS now. I am also registered with Anthony Nolan since 2014 as my father needed a stem cell transplant when his AML returned after almost 5 years in remission. Despite having a an excellent donor match and the procedure going perfectly, the transplant was unsuccessful and we lost my father on 8th September 2014. I miss him every day.https://www.dkms.org.uk/en
Those of you that have lost somebody dear, you have my condolence.
Those of you suffering from this
of an illness, you have my hopes, thoughts and best wishes.I guess as you get older the "bd disease" becomes more prevalent in our lives. Twenty years ago I never gave it another thought as my peer group was so much younger but now Family members and close friends have either lost the fight or are still fighting on as hard as they can. You feel so helpless in so much there is very little you can do to help them other than be there as much as possible. Two close friends are really struggling at the moment and seem to be constantly in and out of hospital its just terribly sad to see them in this way.
d disease" becomes more prevalent in our lives. Twenty years ago I never gave it another thought as my peer group was so much younger but now Family members and close friends have either lost the fight or are still fighting on as hard as they can. You feel so helpless in so much there is very little you can do to help them other than be there as much as possible. Two close friends are really struggling at the moment and seem to be constantly in and out of hospital its just terribly sad to see them in this way.johnxjsc1985 said:
I guess as you get older the "bd disease" becomes more prevalent in our lives. Twenty years ago I never gave it another thought as my peer group was so much younger but now Family members and close friends have either lost the fight or are still fighting on as hard as they can. You feel so helpless in so much there is very little you can do to help them other than be there as much as possible. Two close friends are really struggling at the moment and seem to be constantly in and out of hospital its just terribly sad to see them in this way.
In years gone by, it would have been said "died of old age/natural causes etc".d disease" becomes more prevalent in our lives. Twenty years ago I never gave it another thought as my peer group was so much younger but now Family members and close friends have either lost the fight or are still fighting on as hard as they can. You feel so helpless in so much there is very little you can do to help them other than be there as much as possible. Two close friends are really struggling at the moment and seem to be constantly in and out of hospital its just terribly sad to see them in this way.mattuk
my condolences, its very much like what we went through at the start of the year, the Dr convinced him hospital would be a good idea to 'make him feel better' but by the time the bed had been arranged he had slipped into a resting state and passed at home with those who cared about him close by although he waited for his wife to step out of the room for a second. i'm sure your dad wanted it on his terms, remember him how he was.
sjc
my thoughts are with you and your dad.
blackflag
please use macmillan and any local hospices available to have some overnight support to allow yourself a break.
my condolences, its very much like what we went through at the start of the year, the Dr convinced him hospital would be a good idea to 'make him feel better' but by the time the bed had been arranged he had slipped into a resting state and passed at home with those who cared about him close by although he waited for his wife to step out of the room for a second. i'm sure your dad wanted it on his terms, remember him how he was.
sjc
my thoughts are with you and your dad.
blackflag
please use macmillan and any local hospices available to have some overnight support to allow yourself a break.
Yep, cancer really is st.
I see it a lot in my work as I run a care agency. At the end of life things can really change quickly and it takes some very special caregivers to offer support to the dying and their families at those times.
One of the reasons I got involved was seeing relatives and the very varying experiences they had in their last weeks.
My father died of a brain tumour at the age of 58 and sadly I wasn't around much because I lived in the Middle East and I think he wanted to shield me from how bad things were. I wish I'd understood more so I could have spent more time with him. I did make it back to his deathbed coming straight from Heathrow to the Royal Marsden in Carshalton. After he travelled all over the world in his work he died two miles from where he was born.
My mum had leukemia four years ago and the consultant told us to prepare for the worst but she has been in full remission ever since and living her life to the full.
Yesterday I went to the wedding of a friend whose first wife died of ovarian cancer at the age of 33. Tragically young and we all miss her. He has found happiness again though so while she was in our thoughts we have to be happy for him too.
Keep strong all those going through it at the moment.
t.I see it a lot in my work as I run a care agency. At the end of life things can really change quickly and it takes some very special caregivers to offer support to the dying and their families at those times.
One of the reasons I got involved was seeing relatives and the very varying experiences they had in their last weeks.
My father died of a brain tumour at the age of 58 and sadly I wasn't around much because I lived in the Middle East and I think he wanted to shield me from how bad things were. I wish I'd understood more so I could have spent more time with him. I did make it back to his deathbed coming straight from Heathrow to the Royal Marsden in Carshalton. After he travelled all over the world in his work he died two miles from where he was born.
My mum had leukemia four years ago and the consultant told us to prepare for the worst but she has been in full remission ever since and living her life to the full.
Yesterday I went to the wedding of a friend whose first wife died of ovarian cancer at the age of 33. Tragically young and we all miss her. He has found happiness again though so while she was in our thoughts we have to be happy for him too.
Keep strong all those going through it at the moment.
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