PH parents of 2014
Discussion
Twins are now 3 months old , now laughing and trying to follow our voices round the room. Great watching them grow up all those little things you notice they can do today they couldn't do yesterday. Both sleeping through the night from 7.30pm till about 6.30\7.00 . It means we can settle on a night watch some TV and tidy up after them.
Well we are 9 months in now with the twins. Life is slowly getting easier. Looking back its unreal how difficult its been but I have to say my Mrs is just amazing having dealt with the vast majority of it all.
When they were really small it was a tough time and the Mrs was breast feeding as well refusing even when she was exhausted to let me make a bottle up. At some times she was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep per night and I was on the sofa. The logic in this was that it was pointless us both being up all the time and I have to drive and work at heights with work so needed to be reasonably functional for my own safety. I had the luxury of about 4-5 hours sleep!
These days they are off the breast, and they sleep for a good chunk of the night usually waking about 3-4 and then dozing til about 6. Then I decided it would be a great time to jack my job in and work for myself so we've had just a bit of extra pressure as if the twins werent enough!
Their individual personalities started to show particularly from 6 months onwards. Our boy is all smiles and fairly laid back and the girl is more reserved often you see her weighing people up deciding if she will smile at them or burst into tears. The girl is also properly bossy and always takes toys off the boy resulting in many tears!
All good fun. I can see we are going to have some good times with them as they grow and are able to do more.
Only problem we have is our 4 year old girls has a bit of an odd attitude to the twins. She doesnt acknowledge them much really. She is warming slightly to the girl but wont hold or touch either of them. The boy she is determined is going in the rubbish!
When they were really small it was a tough time and the Mrs was breast feeding as well refusing even when she was exhausted to let me make a bottle up. At some times she was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep per night and I was on the sofa. The logic in this was that it was pointless us both being up all the time and I have to drive and work at heights with work so needed to be reasonably functional for my own safety. I had the luxury of about 4-5 hours sleep!
These days they are off the breast, and they sleep for a good chunk of the night usually waking about 3-4 and then dozing til about 6. Then I decided it would be a great time to jack my job in and work for myself so we've had just a bit of extra pressure as if the twins werent enough!
Their individual personalities started to show particularly from 6 months onwards. Our boy is all smiles and fairly laid back and the girl is more reserved often you see her weighing people up deciding if she will smile at them or burst into tears. The girl is also properly bossy and always takes toys off the boy resulting in many tears!
All good fun. I can see we are going to have some good times with them as they grow and are able to do more.
Only problem we have is our 4 year old girls has a bit of an odd attitude to the twins. She doesnt acknowledge them much really. She is warming slightly to the girl but wont hold or touch either of them. The boy she is determined is going in the rubbish!
Edited by fridaypassion on Wednesday 29th October 20:58
, lovely name. My son was small (in today's terms 6.5lb. He's average now at 4.5yrs. All the best to you all, what a journey you've all had! My turn.in a couple weeks!!Thought I should chime in on here, our little fella was born just under three weeks ago, after waiting until 42 weeks, being 'encouraged' to leave, then throwing a strop during labour requiring an emergency CS! All went well though and he was home two days later.
We're now on bottles full time, we struggled to get him fed on the breast and he really fought against it, but is a pound heavier today than his birth weight so he's not missing out!
Back at work but enjoying coming home for the late evening feed and a cuddle
We're now on bottles full time, we struggled to get him fed on the breast and he really fought against it, but is a pound heavier today than his birth weight so he's not missing out!
Back at work but enjoying coming home for the late evening feed and a cuddle
essayer said:
Thought I should chime in on here, our little fella was born just under three weeks ago, after waiting until 42 weeks, being 'encouraged' to leave, then throwing a strop during labour requiring an emergency CS! All went well though and he was home two days later.
We're now on bottles full time, we struggled to get him fed on the breast and he really fought against it, but is a pound heavier today than his birth weight so he's not missing out!
Back at work but enjoying coming home for the late evening feed and a cuddle
I've said to my hubby that there is no way I am going to be made to wait. I am easy going generally but that is one thing I'm adamant about. Our firstborn struggled to feed, discovered he had tongue tie. He only gained weight once we mix fed and then tongue tie sorted. 2nd one will have tongue checked straight away!We're now on bottles full time, we struggled to get him fed on the breast and he really fought against it, but is a pound heavier today than his birth weight so he's not missing out!
Back at work but enjoying coming home for the late evening feed and a cuddle
Good too hear all going well now.
Can anyone offer any miracle advice on some issues Mrs Pooky and I are having with our 18 week old son Toby?
Main issue is that he hates being put to bed and then he's a really light sleeper. He refuses to sleep if I try and get him off so Mrs Pooky has to try all sorts of shushing, rocking, giving him a dummy, sitting bouncing on the bed and eventually he might just close his eyes and drift off. Unfortunately he'll usually wake right back up again as soon as she puts him in his cot.
We feel like we've tried everything. He has a nice evening routing consisting of a feed (he's totally breastfed), 5-10 minute bath, then sleep suit and sleeping bag on ready for bed. His cot is at the foot of our bed and the room is the right temperature, dark with just a nightlight on. We have white noise on in the shape of a fan or detuned radio and use a 'Ewan the Dream Sheep' too
)
He will then continue to wake every hour or so because he's lost his dummy or has just woken himself up because he's so fidgety/restless. Mostly simply giving his dummy back sends him off again for a while. Other times there's a lot of crying/screaming/frustration when feeding in the night.
We thought that taking his dummy away cold turkey might stop him waking up because he's lost it. They were the worst two days ever, he made himself sick crying so hard we had to give in and give it back to him.
We tried swaddling him when he was younger but hated being restricted.
We just don't know where to turn next. We're thinking of switching to formula just to see if that keeps him asleep more but it would be a shame as he's so good on the boob.
Thanks very much if you've read this far and would love to hear any thoughts!
Main issue is that he hates being put to bed and then he's a really light sleeper. He refuses to sleep if I try and get him off so Mrs Pooky has to try all sorts of shushing, rocking, giving him a dummy, sitting bouncing on the bed and eventually he might just close his eyes and drift off. Unfortunately he'll usually wake right back up again as soon as she puts him in his cot.
We feel like we've tried everything. He has a nice evening routing consisting of a feed (he's totally breastfed), 5-10 minute bath, then sleep suit and sleeping bag on ready for bed. His cot is at the foot of our bed and the room is the right temperature, dark with just a nightlight on. We have white noise on in the shape of a fan or detuned radio and use a 'Ewan the Dream Sheep' too
)He will then continue to wake every hour or so because he's lost his dummy or has just woken himself up because he's so fidgety/restless. Mostly simply giving his dummy back sends him off again for a while. Other times there's a lot of crying/screaming/frustration when feeding in the night.
We thought that taking his dummy away cold turkey might stop him waking up because he's lost it. They were the worst two days ever, he made himself sick crying so hard we had to give in and give it back to him.
We tried swaddling him when he was younger but hated being restricted.
We just don't know where to turn next. We're thinking of switching to formula just to see if that keeps him asleep more but it would be a shame as he's so good on the boob.
Thanks very much if you've read this far and would love to hear any thoughts!
Is he definitely full enough before he is settled down for the night, will he take a bottle of expressed milk just before nighttime?
I couldn't satisfy my son with breastfeeding alone so had to do top up feeds (with formula as I couldn't express enough either!), once we did this he slept much better. I generally gave him a bottle of formula at 11pm which would see him through to about 4am then I'd feed him myself.
Does he nap a lot during the day
I couldn't satisfy my son with breastfeeding alone so had to do top up feeds (with formula as I couldn't express enough either!), once we did this he slept much better. I generally gave him a bottle of formula at 11pm which would see him through to about 4am then I'd feed him myself.
Does he nap a lot during the day
Edited by bexVN on Wednesday 5th November 10:12
Edited by bexVN on Wednesday 5th November 10:13
We're pretty sure he is full enough as he usually gives up before emptying each breast, but I guess you can never be 100% sure.
We did try giving a bottle of expressed milk when he was a little younger and it didn't seem to make much difference. Only that he became more fussy/lazy at the breast.
He's quite good at napping in the morning but pretty bad the rest of the day. Half an hour if we're lucky.
Thanks
We did try giving a bottle of expressed milk when he was a little younger and it didn't seem to make much difference. Only that he became more fussy/lazy at the breast.
He's quite good at napping in the morning but pretty bad the rest of the day. Half an hour if we're lucky.
Thanks
Edited by Pooky67 on Wednesday 5th November 11:36
just found this thread,
Phoebe was born on the 10th in Aberdeen. 7lbs 2.
she's doing great, if not breastfeeding properly, always needs a cuddle and wont take a bottle.
our 3 year old is really playing up, regressing on his potty training and has become incapable of listening.
my wife is doing a fantastic job, but we are both really struggling.
just hoping it gets better soon.
Phoebe was born on the 10th in Aberdeen. 7lbs 2.
she's doing great, if not breastfeeding properly, always needs a cuddle and wont take a bottle.
our 3 year old is really playing up, regressing on his potty training and has become incapable of listening.
my wife is doing a fantastic job, but we are both really struggling.
just hoping it gets better soon.
Pooky67 said:
Can anyone offer any miracle advice on some issues Mrs Pooky and I are having with our 18 week old son Toby?
Do you want the honest answer or the blissful ignorance answer? 
Blissful answer:
It's a shortlived phase, they all do that, you're just not used to it yet being new parents.
Honest answer:
You have my utmost sympathy, and although you may feel like you're failing miserably despite trying every possible solution suggested, you are absolutely not alone in what you're going through right now.
We went through a similar experience with our daughter when she was born 14 months ago. Completely refusal to slow down and drift off to sleep of her own accord. No amount of white noise, routines, warm baths or warm cuddling helps.
After a few weeks, she would drift off after breastfeeding in your arms, and would quite happily sleep there for a couple of hours. Woe betide you if you even attempted to move or lay her down into her moses basket however, it was as if a switch suddenly flicked and she would be wide awake and screaming again. If you can imagine this bedtime routine almost every night for 2-3 hours a night, until she would eventually tire herself out crying. We'd count our lucky stars if she ever managed more than 90 minutes asleep before waking up and crying again.
Napping during the day was non-existent, unless it was preceded by half an hour of grouching, kicking and screaming, and railing against you. Constant twisting, turning and straining to break free out of your arms.
We had a lot of advice from the midwives and health visitors on solutions, keeping to a regimented routine, trying soft soothing talking, rocking the moses basket etc etc. None of it ever worked, and we would keep asking ourselves what we were doing wrong which everyone else was getting right.
We eventually discovered that although lying back on the moses basket mattress would send an instant wake up call, the complete opposite would happen if we laid her to sleep in the middle of her playgym. We moved the playgym to our bedroom with our midwives' blessing, to quote her "whatever works, that's the important thing"
Did manage to get to start sleeping in her moses basket without a fight after three months, although cuddles and sleeps on the sofa overnight were still a regular occurrence.Does any of this resonate with you at all?
We got the shock of our lives when she managed to sleep from 8pm - 5am for the first time ever when she was four-five months old. It was only then that it was pointed out that she was probably going through a growth spurt, hence the sleeping through
Low and behold, a couple of weeks later, the broken sleeping returned.At six months, we moved her into her own room, out of the confines of a moses basket and into her cot. We noticed then that she spends most of the night spinning around the bed in her sleep, as we'd frequently find her in the middle of the night pointing in a completely different direction
She's 14 months old now, and fights to get her to sleep are now thankfully rare rather than the norm. She'll still do everything she can to avoid napping at home, although miraculously will happily nap at nursery. When she does nap at home, we'll at best get 30-45 minutes of downtime, before she pings back up. It's still impossible to get to her to sleep before 7pm, and like clockwork she'll wake up and grizzle 30-45 minutes later, but getting her back under is now just a case of soothing backstrokes and the baby mobile playing a tune.
She's always been an extremely active and resourceful child when awake. Even from an early age, constantly looking around, making a grab for things and wanting to get around.
We've since put the difficult bedtime routine down to her constantly wanting to get on with things and never wanting to miss out, it sounds like you have one too! On the flipside, we now have a happy, cheeky toddler who constantly amazes us with her close attention to detail and her problem solving capability.
I can't honestly tell you that there's a miracle cure or solution which will work for you, we never did find one.
What I can say is that it does start to get better over time (or you just get used to it), and that you need to remember that above all else, you're doing a great job.
Pooky67 said:
Can anyone offer any miracle advice on some issues Mrs Pooky and I are having with our 18 week old son Toby?
I honestly didn't get more than 5 full nights sleep until ours was 18 months old, he was a terrible sleeper. I sometimes felt like a zombie, but managed to muddle through. Luckily I have a sedate office job.One thing that briefly worked was the controlled crying thing, but I didn't stick at it long term, as we were soft.
A friend and her husband co-slept with her boy until he was about two years old, they had no sleep problems at all. But I was worried about squashing my son in my sleep.
There are lots of variables, some sleep some don't, some methods work for some and not others, some can be 'sleep-trained' more successfully than others. All I can say is you're not alone!
eltawater said:
Does any of this resonate with you at all?
It certainly does! Thanks eltawater and TrumpTriple so much for your responses. Means a lot to know we're not the only ones to experience this!Toby certainly is an active, social type. Always looking, studying and grabbing at everything.
I also think we're probably too soft for the controlled crying method, but I think we're ready to give anything a go!
Will switching to formula make any difference? We feel like if we switch there'll be no going back. He already showed signs of being extra fussy at the breast after being on the bottle for a short while.
Pooky67 said:
It certainly does! Thanks eltawater and TrumpTriple so much for your responses. Means a lot to know we're not the only ones to experience this!
Toby certainly is an active, social type. Always looking, studying and grabbing at everything.
I also think we're probably too soft for the controlled crying method, but I think we're ready to give anything a go!
Will switching to formula make any difference? We feel like if we switch there'll be no going back. He already showed signs of being extra fussy at the breast after being on the bottle for a short while.
My wife was a breast feeding fan, and I agreed with her, so we only tried formula a few times. Son didn't really take to it though, and puked a few times, so wife always went back to breast. He was a demanding feeder, little and often, and would fall asleep on the breast without getting a big feed in. It was quite difficult, and very emotionally draining for the wife.Toby certainly is an active, social type. Always looking, studying and grabbing at everything.
I also think we're probably too soft for the controlled crying method, but I think we're ready to give anything a go!
Will switching to formula make any difference? We feel like if we switch there'll be no going back. He already showed signs of being extra fussy at the breast after being on the bottle for a short while.
As said above though, it improves / you get used to it. At two and a half years old ours started to sleep pretty well, and went to bed very happily most nights. He's now four years old and goes to bed really well, but wakes up at 6am almost without fail, so I've become a very early morning person since he was born. If I go to bed at a sensible time most nights it's fine.
We now watch Countdown or Cbeebies in the mornings until the wife gets up. It's great having a little mate to chat rubbish with at this age. You'll love it when yours is three or four years old!
We never moved onto formula as she was obviously quite full after the bed time feed (used to just drift off the nipple naturally). She also didn't like expressed milk in a bottle at all, never mind some warmed up powder.
Despite only tracking between the 25th and 50th percentile on the weight, she is incredibly agile and strong, so she's clearly getting everything that she needs
One thing I would say is that if you have a particularly bad night, and Toby is constantly grizzling and uncomfortably sleeping, do not be afraid to deploy the Calpol. It can take the edge off the discomfort from whatever is bothering him long enough for him to drift off and to sleep through.
Despite only tracking between the 25th and 50th percentile on the weight, she is incredibly agile and strong, so she's clearly getting everything that she needs
One thing I would say is that if you have a particularly bad night, and Toby is constantly grizzling and uncomfortably sleeping, do not be afraid to deploy the Calpol. It can take the edge off the discomfort from whatever is bothering him long enough for him to drift off and to sleep through.
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