6 week premature daughter
Discussion
Difficult to read at points, but glad all has ended well. We had identical twin boys 3 and a half months early in Feb.
Max was incredibly poorly, and died the day after he was born. Agreeing to stop the intervention was the hardest thing we've ever been through.
Hari was also in a bad way, very under developed lungs. Over 3.5 months in hospital there were brain bleeds, more lung bleeds than I can count, numerous setbacks with ventilation and oxygen etc. But, he seems to have come through it all relatively unscathed, spends most of the time feeding or smiling!
Think that's the first time I've ever put it all down in words.
Max was incredibly poorly, and died the day after he was born. Agreeing to stop the intervention was the hardest thing we've ever been through.
Hari was also in a bad way, very under developed lungs. Over 3.5 months in hospital there were brain bleeds, more lung bleeds than I can count, numerous setbacks with ventilation and oxygen etc. But, he seems to have come through it all relatively unscathed, spends most of the time feeding or smiling!
Think that's the first time I've ever put it all down in words.
warren182 said:
Difficult to read at points, but glad all has ended well. We had identical twin boys 3 and a half months early in Feb.
Max was incredibly poorly, and died the day after he was born. Agreeing to stop the intervention was the hardest thing we've ever been through.
Hari was also in a bad way, very under developed lungs. Over 3.5 months in hospital there were brain bleeds, more lung bleeds than I can count, numerous setbacks with ventilation and oxygen etc. But, he seems to have come through it all relatively unscathed, spends most of the time feeding or smiling!
Think that's the first time I've ever put it all down in words.
Wow. Thanks for your reply and firstly I'm sorry about poor little Max and sorry Hari lost his brother. It's hard as the father I think. We're meant to hold everything together, be strong. Max was incredibly poorly, and died the day after he was born. Agreeing to stop the intervention was the hardest thing we've ever been through.
Hari was also in a bad way, very under developed lungs. Over 3.5 months in hospital there were brain bleeds, more lung bleeds than I can count, numerous setbacks with ventilation and oxygen etc. But, he seems to have come through it all relatively unscathed, spends most of the time feeding or smiling!
Think that's the first time I've ever put it all down in words.
Hearing your experience has put me right back in that room with my wife with the pills in her hand that would mean the end of her pregnancy. It was the right thing to do to I know but knowing is only half the story. How is your wife? How are you?
g35x said:
Both my kids were in the bottom 5% weight category but otherwise healthy, their original pediatrician made a big deal out of this and was suggesting we lace their food with butter and other high calorie content .. this caused a lot of anxiety and stress for us as well. We changed pediatrician's (for other reasons) and the new one is much more laid back about the whole thing, as long as the children are healthy and eating a balanced diet he said not to focus on the weight chart. This was a couple of years ago and now both my kids have gone through big growth/eating spurts and are nowhere near the bottom anymore.
You want kids to have a healthy relationship with food, trying to force feed them could lead to problems later in life. I would maybe try and seek out a second opinion but personally i wouldn't stress about it too much if they are otherwise healthy.
Sorry G I missed this one. Of course you are right. I just want to feel we are doing all we can as parents and not just rely on medical professionals. Just build in a little more resilience. It seems crazy but I worry about the 2 yr old (3 in Jan) so much more than our 12 week old.You want kids to have a healthy relationship with food, trying to force feed them could lead to problems later in life. I would maybe try and seek out a second opinion but personally i wouldn't stress about it too much if they are otherwise healthy.
I think I also need to get my wife out on a date and take her mind off everything. Mums are the heart of the house and I think she needs to be reminded she's so much more than just mummy 24/7.
Wow there are some painful stories to read on this thread.
From my limited experience I think it is important to just let kids get on with being kids. A close friend has a boy that is 14 now, but 6 years ago the child would only eat chips and dry corn flakes.
Seriously that is all the child would eat. I really couldn't get my head around it as I'd been up for meals where his wife was cooking the most amazing food. Out on business we'd hit Chinese and Indian and Native food all the time, so it wasn't like the child was not getting access to different food.
He's fine now and eats all sorts of stuff that his mum cooks for him.
With Little Ex, once he got off baby jar pulp he was fed every thing we were eating, in fact he used to call out for the food we were eating from our plate, because I guess he could smell we were eating something different.
What's quite interesting is that he was given a bag of sweets for Halloween and he will choose bread, or cheese on toast, a bag of pistachio nuts or 'Dad can we have that chicken noodle soup again'.
Their appetite will change and come around.
Little Ex is thin as a rake, almost up to my shoulder now, plays rugby and GAA, never lacks energy, so I would just say, leave the child decide for a while. Assuming you are not filling them up with Smarties I think you'll be ok in time.
From my limited experience I think it is important to just let kids get on with being kids. A close friend has a boy that is 14 now, but 6 years ago the child would only eat chips and dry corn flakes.
Seriously that is all the child would eat. I really couldn't get my head around it as I'd been up for meals where his wife was cooking the most amazing food. Out on business we'd hit Chinese and Indian and Native food all the time, so it wasn't like the child was not getting access to different food.
He's fine now and eats all sorts of stuff that his mum cooks for him.
With Little Ex, once he got off baby jar pulp he was fed every thing we were eating, in fact he used to call out for the food we were eating from our plate, because I guess he could smell we were eating something different.
What's quite interesting is that he was given a bag of sweets for Halloween and he will choose bread, or cheese on toast, a bag of pistachio nuts or 'Dad can we have that chicken noodle soup again'.
Their appetite will change and come around.
Little Ex is thin as a rake, almost up to my shoulder now, plays rugby and GAA, never lacks energy, so I would just say, leave the child decide for a while. Assuming you are not filling them up with Smarties I think you'll be ok in time.
jontysafe said:
Wow. Thanks for your reply and firstly I'm sorry about poor little Max and sorry Hari lost his brother. It's hard as the father I think. We're meant to hold everything together, be strong.
Hearing your experience has put me right back in that room with my wife with the pills in her hand that would mean the end of her pregnancy. It was the right thing to do to I know but knowing is only half the story. How is your wife? How are you?
Exactly, regardless of knowing it was 100% the correct decision, it's difficult to live with. Hearing your experience has put me right back in that room with my wife with the pills in her hand that would mean the end of her pregnancy. It was the right thing to do to I know but knowing is only half the story. How is your wife? How are you?
Doing ok, it's a strange situation to be in, because we've not really been able to deal with losing Max, as we've had Hari to concentrate on.
I'll ask my wife about your 2yr old, she's a speech and language therapist which has come in incredibly useful with Haris feeding.
jontysafe said:
Sorry G I missed this one. Of course you are right. I just want to feel we are doing all we can as parents and not just rely on medical professionals. Just build in a little more resilience. It seems crazy but I worry about the 2 yr old (3 in Jan) so much more than our 12 week old.
I think I also need to get my wife out on a date and take her mind off everything. Mums are the heart of the house and I think she needs to be reminded she's so much more than just mummy 24/7.
Spoke to wifey, she advised getting dairy into everything to bulk up calories. Butter, cream, gold top milk etc, high calories desserts (although watch the sugar content). I think I also need to get my wife out on a date and take her mind off everything. Mums are the heart of the house and I think she needs to be reminded she's so much more than just mummy 24/7.
Hello again,
Things going better on the eating front the last few days.
The Jersey milk is a hit, she actually asked for a beaker full in bed when she woke up.
I've had a bug the last week where I have totally lost my appetite and had cramps. I'm now wondering if she had the same. Since she's started playschool our house seems to be an incubus for germs.
She's just off for a nasal flu thing.
Will keep you updated but feeling much better about things at the moment.
Things going better on the eating front the last few days.
The Jersey milk is a hit, she actually asked for a beaker full in bed when she woke up.
I've had a bug the last week where I have totally lost my appetite and had cramps. I'm now wondering if she had the same. Since she's started playschool our house seems to be an incubus for germs.
She's just off for a nasal flu thing.
Will keep you updated but feeling much better about things at the moment.
My two were born 10 weeks early, nearly lost both them and the wife multiple times over a horrid 3 day period, but after that they were fine and all home after 4 weeks.
The twins are now nearly 16, both are near the bottom of their weight for their height and always have been; I put this down to them never developing the baby fat that full term babies develop. When they get older this will be an advantage as they will be less likely to get fat as they are both very lean.
They were both very short for their age as well but they caught up over time, my daughter is now as tall as her mom and my son is now taller than I am and still growing.
Developmental wise they have both always been exceptionally bright, we have not seen the oft mentioned developmental problems for prem babies at all. They should have been in the year below, we had the option to have held them back a year but decided against it.
The twins are now nearly 16, both are near the bottom of their weight for their height and always have been; I put this down to them never developing the baby fat that full term babies develop. When they get older this will be an advantage as they will be less likely to get fat as they are both very lean.
They were both very short for their age as well but they caught up over time, my daughter is now as tall as her mom and my son is now taller than I am and still growing.
Developmental wise they have both always been exceptionally bright, we have not seen the oft mentioned developmental problems for prem babies at all. They should have been in the year below, we had the option to have held them back a year but decided against it.
My ten yr old was born at just 27 weeks and spent 10 weeks and 1 day in hospital; not that we were counting! Every complication under the sun as if he were working his way through the prem baby textbook.
He his now happy and healthy, extremely fit and partakes in a myriad or sports from rugby to swimming via football and triathlon. Best in class in every year to date at school and bright as a button.
Still a little on the small size for his age but catching up fast. These little buggers can be incredibly resilient and it is amazing the number of grown up's we meet who mention that they were X weeks premature when they learn about his tough start to life.
Oh, did I mention I love him to bits!!
He his now happy and healthy, extremely fit and partakes in a myriad or sports from rugby to swimming via football and triathlon. Best in class in every year to date at school and bright as a button.
Still a little on the small size for his age but catching up fast. These little buggers can be incredibly resilient and it is amazing the number of grown up's we meet who mention that they were X weeks premature when they learn about his tough start to life.
Oh, did I mention I love him to bits!!
Nuclearsquash said:
Haha, living in Swindon i know exactly what you mean. My daughter was born at 27 weeks, has a congenital lung condition, came home on oxygen, and our health visitor said we should let her get colds as it will be good for her... erm no thanks that would in all likelihood kill her. Thankfully we never saw her again (or any other health visitor apart from the home oxygen people who were awesome).
Daughter is now nearly 2, off oxygen for nearly 18 months, lung condition is not (currently) causing issues and she can now survive a cold
.
Also living in Swindon. Haven't seen our HV since I met her at 10 days. Utter waste of space.Daughter is now nearly 2, off oxygen for nearly 18 months, lung condition is not (currently) causing issues and she can now survive a cold
.Weight gain wise- lots of cheese and gold top. You could ask (god knows who) about calorie ladened drinks- think they are fortisip? Friends kids had them.
Glad to hear the lovely news about your new arrival.
littlegreenfairy said:
They all grow differently and if she's eating enough and happy in herself I wouldn't overly worry.
Aint that the truth, without going all paranormal, kids derive energy from many places. Little Ex used to eat raw broccoli and cauliflower, now he will barley touch either. I'm coking soon and he's just ordered his steak rare with extra asparagus - go figure?
Want to shove an extra one on? I can be round soon! These kid things are nuts.
Our 9 month old can survive a full day on a 10min nap. I bloody can't.
She's just has salmon en croute for supper but won't touch baby food.
My first reply made me think I was turning into a worrier. She'll be fine.
Our 9 month old can survive a full day on a 10min nap. I bloody can't.
She's just has salmon en croute for supper but won't touch baby food.
My first reply made me think I was turning into a worrier. She'll be fine.
They are blooming nutcases aren't they.
2yr old eating better, only slightly but better is better. She continues to be a cheese monster. She was sat at her little desk colouring and watching Bing earlier and wolfing down extra mature vintage cheddar then boiled egg and soldiers. I did a fish and chip run for supper and she did so so with that.
Florence our 13 week old just is sooo different. My wife swears someone has wrapped her in a mattress topper. She has proper rolls. Darcey feels like picking up a dining room chair compared to her.
She's (2yr old) taken well to Jersey gold top before bed, an extra milk in the morning after biscuits in bed and some cream in her cereal so I'm happy.
We've been a house of germs for what feels like nearly 2 weeks now. I haven't felt like eating ao I think same thing little one had.
Mrs and I have decided that we are going to worry less. Must speak to playschool though as she is squirrelling food in her cheek at snack time and not swallowing it. I went to pick her up an hour and a half later and she had a load of satsuma in her cheek!
2yr old eating better, only slightly but better is better. She continues to be a cheese monster. She was sat at her little desk colouring and watching Bing earlier and wolfing down extra mature vintage cheddar then boiled egg and soldiers. I did a fish and chip run for supper and she did so so with that.
Florence our 13 week old just is sooo different. My wife swears someone has wrapped her in a mattress topper. She has proper rolls. Darcey feels like picking up a dining room chair compared to her.
She's (2yr old) taken well to Jersey gold top before bed, an extra milk in the morning after biscuits in bed and some cream in her cereal so I'm happy.
We've been a house of germs for what feels like nearly 2 weeks now. I haven't felt like eating ao I think same thing little one had.
Mrs and I have decided that we are going to worry less. Must speak to playschool though as she is squirrelling food in her cheek at snack time and not swallowing it. I went to pick her up an hour and a half later and she had a load of satsuma in her cheek!
A little update.
I'm en route to Manila and my wife has taken our 3 year old to the dietician today. Eating continues to be difficult.
We've become aware we need to be more aware and careful of friends and family coming round with colds etc. Yes she's subject to coughs and sneezes at play school but the benefits of gross motor skills and learning out weigh that.
Upshot of today's visit is she has a bmi of 12. She's down to the 0.4th centile on weight and 90th centile on height. A bad cold for a week changes everything.
We now have various shakes for her to try every night. We've been giving her jersey gold top chocolate milk shake but that's not enough apparently.
We've been told 3 months of trying this and if no joy then further investigation.
In herself she's been poorly with both cold, coughs and stomach upsets recently and has just wanted her dad. A wee bit vulnerable and it's becoming harder to travel, which was expected as she grew up. I get now ' please don't leave me daddy '
I want to post a pic I took of her with her baby sister who is now 8 months but will do that when I get to the lounge at dxb.
I'm 100% positive she's going to put the weight on but it's slow going.
Going to go back to the doctor next week because she's started retching when eating as well.
I'm en route to Manila and my wife has taken our 3 year old to the dietician today. Eating continues to be difficult.
We've become aware we need to be more aware and careful of friends and family coming round with colds etc. Yes she's subject to coughs and sneezes at play school but the benefits of gross motor skills and learning out weigh that.
Upshot of today's visit is she has a bmi of 12. She's down to the 0.4th centile on weight and 90th centile on height. A bad cold for a week changes everything.
We now have various shakes for her to try every night. We've been giving her jersey gold top chocolate milk shake but that's not enough apparently.
We've been told 3 months of trying this and if no joy then further investigation.
In herself she's been poorly with both cold, coughs and stomach upsets recently and has just wanted her dad. A wee bit vulnerable and it's becoming harder to travel, which was expected as she grew up. I get now ' please don't leave me daddy '
I want to post a pic I took of her with her baby sister who is now 8 months but will do that when I get to the lounge at dxb.
I'm 100% positive she's going to put the weight on but it's slow going.
Going to go back to the doctor next week because she's started retching when eating as well.
Thanks, we are trying.
Loving the Manila heat hearing about the UK weather from my wife. Still can't wait to get home though. Off back to Dubai tomorrow evening.
Going to try and melt myself cycling round the track at Meydan in 40 degree heat. Should be good for a laugh. Mmm sweaty.
I never posted the pic because it just seemed a bit weird to do it.
Loving the Manila heat hearing about the UK weather from my wife. Still can't wait to get home though. Off back to Dubai tomorrow evening.
Going to try and melt myself cycling round the track at Meydan in 40 degree heat. Should be good for a laugh. Mmm sweaty.
I never posted the pic because it just seemed a bit weird to do it.
I forgot to mention in my other post that I was a premature baby also. Born at 30 weeks in July of 1988, weighed 2lbs 11oz. Which then decreased to 2lbs 7oz. I spent 12 weeks in incubation/hospital after I was born via caesarian.
Im now 28 studying mental health nursing. I dont recall having any real preference for foods like you describe. I just ate too much of it through adolescence.
Im now 28 studying mental health nursing. I dont recall having any real preference for foods like you describe. I just ate too much of it through adolescence.
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff