6 week premature daughter

[Zyp]

No guilt, absolutely not.
These things can happen for no reason.

As has been said, there's some good people out there to help you both.

I don't know if you're religious at all, but a good friend of mine who was going through difficult period at the the same time, sent me a poem.

Footprints in the Sand -

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

Edited by Zyp on Saturday 15th November 12:22

[jontysafe]

Thank you.

I was brought up a strict Roman Catholic hence the guilt. I think it's because we decided to save him any further suffering.

I love the footsteps poem.

I'm a little lonely as my poor wife is medicated as I think the doctor realised she was in a very fragile mental state. Got little Darcey keeping me busy for the time being!

[jontysafe]

Wife has now come off the diazepam because she didn`t like being emotionally removed. She`s now taken over my mantle and is madly cleaning and hasn`t sat still all day.
Part of this is because we haven`t got round to doing anything for a week and partly, you know, avoidance.

I`m working from home today and my brain is really elsewhere. Bloody difficult.

[Mr E]

jontysafe said:

I`m working from home today and my brain is really elsewhere. Bloody difficult.

You're *working*??

[spats]

jontysafe said:

Wife has now come off the diazepam because she didn`t like being emotionally removed. She`s now taken over my mantle and is madly cleaning and hasn`t sat still all day.
Part of this is because we haven`t got round to doing anything for a week and partly, you know, avoidance.

I`m working from home today and my brain is really elsewhere. Bloody difficult.

Just caught this thread, such joy and sadness in such a small space of time. I have no words that will make a difference but thanks for sharing. Glad your wife is off the Diazepam that's surely a step forward?

[jontysafe]

Just a wee family update.

My 2yr old daughter who was 6 weeks prem is doing well. She's in the 95th centile for her height but now is in the bottom 4% for her weight.
I say now because she was in the bottom 5% but she's been off her food for a week because of a chest infection.

I would like to ask for some tips for some weight gain please. Anything gratefully received. My wife has been in tears this evening. We literally spend HOURS a day feeding her and helping her to explore food. One plus is she likes cheese which is a help.
She is incredibly bright and finds eating boring, we try reading etc etc but just doesn't seem to have an appetite. She's been telling me about gravity (everything falls down not up daddy) heating metal makes it a tiny bit bigger and vice Versa with cold. She knows about the state changes of water and wants to know where EVERYTHING comes from. Love it! She toilet trained herself at 20 months and was accident free at 21 months. This girl is a bright spark and I'm wondering if that could be part of the issue?

We some times have to tag team feed her because it really tries the patience and we really don't want to make this an issue for her.

In other news we have a 12 week old girl that was born bang on time maybe a bit over. Very quick labour again, 2hrs at most. 120lepton dash up the M4 to Swindon and she was born within 45 minutes of getting there.
Just shows how important the last few weeks are for weight gain. She was born at 8lbs 3oz and her weight gain has been flabbergasting. She's outgrowing 3-6m clothing.

[essayer]

She sure sounds bright, my son is just about mastering up/down
Re. weight, have you discussed with the GP or health visiting team - was it mentioned at the 2 year check, if she's had it?

[jontysafe]

Apologies for delay in reply.

Am now in UAE so wife has a week to contend with on her own.

Doctor has recently changed and no real concern before she went off food. We as parents just want to build up a little bit of reserves so illness doesn't hit her weight so hard.
Don't get me started on the absolute waste of time her health visitor was. I kid you not she came out with to a scared first time mum with a prem baby; "my goodness she's a skinny one isn't she".
Anyway I digress.
Any ideas? We're going to try Jersey/Guernsey milk instead of normal blue top. Keep a little bowl of cheese cubes out for her to nibble on, plenty of cream and butter in the mashed potato.

[Nuclearsquash]

jontysafe said:

Apologies for delay in reply.
Don't get me started on the absolute waste of time her health visitor was. I kid you not she came out with to a scared first time mum with a prem baby; "my goodness she's a skinny one isn't she".

Haha, living in Swindon i know exactly what you mean. My daughter was born at 27 weeks, has a congenital lung condition, came home on oxygen, and our health visitor said we should let her get colds as it will be good for her... erm no thanks that would in all likelihood kill her. Thankfully we never saw her again (or any other health visitor apart from the home oxygen people who were awesome).

Daughter is now nearly 2, off oxygen for nearly 18 months, lung condition is not (currently) causing issues and she can now survive a cold .

[BoRED S2upid]

jontysafe said:

Just a wee family update.

My 2yr old daughter who was 6 weeks prem is doing well. She's in the 95th centile for her height but now is in the bottom 4% for her weight.
I say now because she was in the bottom 5% but she's been off her food for a week because of a chest infection.

I would like to ask for some tips for some weight gain please. Anything gratefully received. My wife has been in tears this evening. We literally spend HOURS a day feeding her and helping her to explore food. One plus is she likes cheese which is a help.
She is incredibly bright and finds eating boring, we try reading etc etc but just doesn't seem to have an appetite. She's been telling me about gravity (everything falls down not up daddy) heating metal makes it a tiny bit bigger and vice Versa with cold. She knows about the state changes of water and wants to know where EVERYTHING comes from. Love it! She toilet trained herself at 20 months and was accident free at 21 months. This girl is a bright spark and I'm wondering if that could be part of the issue?

We some times have to tag team feed her because it really tries the patience and we really don't want to make this an issue for her.

In other news we have a 12 week old girl that was born bang on time maybe a bit over. Very quick labour again, 2hrs at most. 120lepton dash up the M4 to Swindon and she was born within 45 minutes of getting there.
Just shows how important the last few weeks are for weight gain. She was born at 8lbs 3oz and her weight gain has been flabbergasting. She's outgrowing 3-6m clothing.

Does she have a favourite food? At 4% anything is good food if that's cheese for every meal then so be it. Our little boy (who was also prem) can be fussy with his food but we've learnt what are his go to foods and snacks and he eats them a lot funnily enough it's also cheese and crackers or breadsticks. Then he will surprise you by eating prawns or Thai marinated salmon very strange.

[jontysafe]

Nuclearsquash said:

jontysafe said:

Apologies for delay in reply.
Don't get me started on the absolute waste of time her health visitor was. I kid you not she came out with to a scared first time mum with a prem baby; "my goodness she's a skinny one isn't she".

Haha, living in Swindon i know exactly what you mean. My daughter was born at 27 weeks, has a congenital lung condition, came home on oxygen, and our health visitor said we should let her get colds as it will be good for her... erm no thanks that would in all likelihood kill her. Thankfully we never saw her again (or any other health visitor apart from the home oxygen people who were awesome).

Daughter is now nearly 2, off oxygen for nearly 18 months, lung condition is not (currently) causing issues and she can now survive a cold .

Sheesh! I must say it's only the health visitors that have been poor and as you say, you don't have to see them after the initial visit. The midwives were brilliant.
Glad to hear your daughter is doing well.

[g35x]

jontysafe said:

Just a wee family update.

My 2yr old daughter who was 6 weeks prem is doing well. She's in the 95th centile for her height but now is in the bottom 4% for her weight.
I say now because she was in the bottom 5% but she's been off her food for a week because of a chest infection.

I would like to ask for some tips for some weight gain please. Anything gratefully received. My wife has been in tears this evening. We literally spend HOURS a day feeding her and helping her to explore food. One plus is she likes cheese which is a help.

Both my kids were in the bottom 5% weight category but otherwise healthy, their original pediatrician made a big deal out of this and was suggesting we lace their food with butter and other high calorie content .. this caused a lot of anxiety and stress for us as well. We changed pediatrician's (for other reasons) and the new one is much more laid back about the whole thing, as long as the children are healthy and eating a balanced diet he said not to focus on the weight chart. This was a couple of years ago and now both my kids have gone through big growth/eating spurts and are nowhere near the bottom anymore.

You want kids to have a healthy relationship with food, trying to force feed them could lead to problems later in life. I would maybe try and seek out a second opinion but personally i wouldn't stress about it too much if they are otherwise healthy.

[jontysafe]

BoRED S2upid said:

jontysafe said:

Just a wee family update.

My 2yr old daughter who was 6 weeks prem is doing well. She's in the 95th centile for her height but now is in the bottom 4% for her weight.
I say now because she was in the bottom 5% but she's been off her food for a week because of a chest infection.

I would like to ask for some tips for some weight gain please. Anything gratefully received. My wife has been in tears this evening. We literally spend HOURS a day feeding her and helping her to explore food. One plus is she likes cheese which is a help.
She is incredibly bright and finds eating boring, we try reading etc etc but just doesn't seem to have an appetite. She's been telling me about gravity (everything falls down not up daddy) heating metal makes it a tiny bit bigger and vice Versa with cold. She knows about the state changes of water and wants to know where EVERYTHING comes from. Love it! She toilet trained herself at 20 months and was accident free at 21 months. This girl is a bright spark and I'm wondering if that could be part of the issue?

We some times have to tag team feed her because it really tries the patience and we really don't want to make this an issue for her.

In other news we have a 12 week old girl that was born bang on time maybe a bit over. Very quick labour again, 2hrs at most. 120lepton dash up the M4 to Swindon and she was born within 45 minutes of getting there.
Just shows how important the last few weeks are for weight gain. She was born at 8lbs 3oz and her weight gain has been flabbergasting. She's outgrowing 3-6m clothing.

Does she have a favourite food? At 4% anything is good food if that's cheese for every meal then so be it. Our little boy (who was also prem) can be fussy with his food but we've learnt what are his go to foods and snacks and he eats them a lot funnily enough it's also cheese and crackers or breadsticks. Then he will surprise you by eating prawns or Thai marinated salmon very strange.

Cheese goes down well. It's funny you mention bread sticks, wife tried her with them and soft cheese today and they were a hit. She's eaten well today so far which is heartening.

[BoRED S2upid]

jontysafe said:

Cheese goes down well. It's funny you mention bread sticks, wife tried her with them and soft cheese today and they were a hit. She's eaten well today so far which is heartening.

You will be surprised how many different types of breadstick there are! All butter, with cheese, Rosemary, salt, pepper etc... try them all.

Another dish he likes is spaghetti with melted butter I saw it on a menu in a restaurant with grated Parmesan but our lad has it without the stinky cheese.

Also are you watching her eat? Are you sat there? Try going in the other room or leaving food out for her to nibble on in her own time without you watching. You may come back to a mini food fight or a clean plate. Works for us.

[numtumfutunch]

If it helps our eldest had absolutely no issues with food up until the age of approx 2 when all she ate was fish fingers

One day the bombshell dropped - "I dont like fish fingers" - and she didnt eat. At all

Its a phase, most kids go through a faddy patch

She is now a teenager and is almost as big as me
From 8 or 9 she started to help me put on Sunday roast for the family
When she was 10 she ordered foie gras in a french restaurant (this is PH after all)
For her birthday last year she cooked a Thai banquet from scratch for her mates

It will be OK, Ive been there..................

[hyphen]

jontysafe said:

Just a wee family update.

My 2yr old daughter who was 6 weeks prem is doing well. She's in the 95th centile for her height but now is in the bottom 4% for her weight.
I say now because she was in the bottom 5% but she's been off her food for a week because of a chest infection.

I would like to ask for some tips for some weight gain please. Anything gratefully received.

Contact your local NHS Speech and language centre, they have feeding specialists that will help (You can self-refer so don't have to go via the gp etc).

[Wobbegong]

Our eldest was born about 6weeks early and although tall for his age, has always struggled with weight. Last year he finally hit a weight to match his height and he came down with pneumonia he lost 7lbs in a week (down from 3stone) and was in very bad shape. Took a year to get the weight back on (actually it was a year today.....he has a chest infection again )

For weight gain......

Does your daughter like ice cream? If so, mix some in with a milkshake as that is quite calorie heavy and was recommended by our doctor - unfortunately our son is one of about two kids on the planet who hates ice cream we did find other high calorie foods such as pies, sausage rolls, yorkie buttons etc to help him pack some weight on.

When recovering from pneumonia the hospital physio was trying to encourage him to blow bubbles, shout etc basically anything to get his lungs working harder. He refused to be a performing chimp but tickling him produced fantastic results

[j4ckos mate]

My lad was five weeks and six days early,
hes fifteen now, strong strapping handsome young lad, glad everythings fine

[EagleMoto4-2]

My daughter was born a few weeks early. She is also a fussy eater, easily gets distracted at the dinner table and so is often difficult to get her to eat. She is 5 years old now and unless she is eating her favourite food she can quickly lose interest in what she is eating. You will just have to try and find the select foods that she likes to eat and feed her on those. Perhaps also try smaller portions but more frequent than the usual 3 set meals a day.
Our daughter is also very inquisitive and picks up things quite easily. Only yesterday she was telling me about number bonds and what they were in maths equations. I had never even heard of that phrase before!

[jontysafe]

Wobbegong said:

Our eldest was born about 6weeks early and although tall for his age, has always struggled with weight. Last year he finally hit a weight to match his height and he came down with pneumonia he lost 7lbs in a week (down from 3stone) and was in very bad shape. Took a year to get the weight back on (actually it was a year today.....he has a chest infection again )

For weight gain......

Does your daughter like ice cream? If so, mix some in with a milkshake as that is quite calorie heavy and was recommended by our doctor - unfortunately our son is one of about two kids on the planet who hates ice cream we did find other high calorie foods such as pies, sausage rolls, yorkie buttons etc to help him pack some weight on.

When recovering from pneumonia the hospital physio was trying to encourage him to blow bubbles, shout etc basically anything to get his lungs working harder. He refused to be a performing chimp but tickling him produced fantastic results

Bless him. She will have one sip of milk shake and says she likes it but won't have another one! Go figure!
Will try her on a sausage roll. I think that could be a goer.