Dialysis, school me.
Discussion
So, we live in the Philippines, wife daughter and me, and the dreaded Mum In Law also lives with us.
She is diabetic and has several other ailments, a swollen heart too, whatever the technical term, I forget now. She has been in and out of hospital on and off for several years, mainly because she is a stubborn ignorant old biotch and refuses to follow doctors orders about her diet and suchforth.
So, today I'm told she has now got to go for dialysis three times a week, as her kidneys packed up, and muggins here will be picking up the tab, so can anybody give me any information on this sort of treatment?
Three times a week seems a bit frequent, or is that normal? And at about 80 quid a go not an insubstantial sum of cabbage to throw out week after week.
For those people who moan about the NHS, the hospital gave us/my wife the option to pay up and do the treatment, or watch her mum die........
She is in her seventies, if that makes a difference.
She is diabetic and has several other ailments, a swollen heart too, whatever the technical term, I forget now. She has been in and out of hospital on and off for several years, mainly because she is a stubborn ignorant old biotch and refuses to follow doctors orders about her diet and suchforth.
So, today I'm told she has now got to go for dialysis three times a week, as her kidneys packed up, and muggins here will be picking up the tab, so can anybody give me any information on this sort of treatment?
Three times a week seems a bit frequent, or is that normal? And at about 80 quid a go not an insubstantial sum of cabbage to throw out week after week.
For those people who moan about the NHS, the hospital gave us/my wife the option to pay up and do the treatment, or watch her mum die........
She is in her seventies, if that makes a difference.
Edited by King Herald on Sunday 9th February 13:50
Not answering your question but I'd pay it because I wouldn't want to see her die but I'd rule her life with an iron fist so she can't happily and continually ruin her health as you've described.
I don't give a s
t if the bloke across the road gets fat - but I would if he then demands I have to pay to stop him from getting ill.
I don't give a s
t if the bloke across the road gets fat - but I would if he then demands I have to pay to stop him from getting ill.Dialysis here in the UK, free on NHS, 3 times a week which amounts to 12 hour a week on a normal prescription. UK kidney waiting list is 3 years and then there are no guarantees that the transplanted kidney will continually work, some may pack up even after 3 years..Diabetes can destroy kidneys if not managed properly.
Hoofy said:
Not answering your question but I'd pay it because I wouldn't want to see her die but I'd rule her life with an iron fist so she can't happily and continually ruin her health as you've described.
I don't give a st if the bloke across the road gets fat - but I would if he then demands I have to pay to stop him from getting ill.
By refusing to pay I would be directly killing the mum in law. Which is tempting, considering some of the vindictive, obnoxious and abusive behaviour she has shelled out to us/me over the year on occasion.I don't give a s
t if the bloke across the road gets fat - but I would if he then demands I have to pay to stop him from getting ill.I have spent years trying to get her to follow the rules of being a diabetic, to no avail. When she is left to her own devices she will scoff cakes and sugary s
t, put salt on everything she eats, drink Coke etc. Three heart attacks, two kidney stone operations, and god knows how many doctors visits over the years, many thousands of quids it has cost me.
When we lived in the UK she had operations on her eyes, numerous check-ups and free medicines, but eventually she was getting so obnoxious we sent her back to the Philippines. Then foolishly we moved there again ourselves and she lodged herself back in with us somehow.
I simply cannot condemn her to death, but like you say, I will be in charge of her diet when I am at home, plus the rest of us will eat healthier too. None of us is exactly skinny, and the wife is always stocking up on junk food, biscuits, snacks and suchforth. That is going to stop.
King Herald said:
That is going to stop.
Sorry, but I doubt it. My mum has been through a very similar process, though she is a bit further down the line.
Eyesight almost completely gone, just had a below knee amputation (she has a matching pair now), & been on dialysis for nearly 4 years, which is pretty much the end of the road.
There is no next stage.
She is 63.
Don't underestimate how crafty & how calculating a diabetic can be to get a sugar fix.
It sounds laughable to compare sugar/ sweets etc to hard drugs, but those that are addicted will put themselves through unimaginable suffering to satisfy the craving.
Good luck.
My nan was similar to your MIL. She ignored the special diet, but seemed to think she was on it.
Nan hated dialysis and it would wipe out her day.
I can't remember how many years she had it, maybe seven. It seems to much of a trauma for an old person three times a week. I (and she) were glad of the extra years it gave her though.
Eventually dialysis failed to work, causing more pain than good, so it was stopped.
Just to add that my nan was fortunate to still have good eyesight, no amputations and eat cake.
Nan died in April just after her 80th birthday.
Nan hated dialysis and it would wipe out her day.
I can't remember how many years she had it, maybe seven. It seems to much of a trauma for an old person three times a week. I (and she) were glad of the extra years it gave her though.
Eventually dialysis failed to work, causing more pain than good, so it was stopped.
Just to add that my nan was fortunate to still have good eyesight, no amputations and eat cake.
Nan died in April just after her 80th birthday.
Edited by Nicol@ on Sunday 9th February 21:17
Rock and a hard place or what! Jesus.
If you have 12ish grand a year to piss away then what choice do you have? None really.
People can live for years on dialysis, as people have indicated...it's gonna cost a fortune, she sounds like a bit of a nightmare too which does her no favours.
Good luck.
If you have 12ish grand a year to piss away then what choice do you have? None really.
People can live for years on dialysis, as people have indicated...it's gonna cost a fortune, she sounds like a bit of a nightmare too which does her no favours.
Good luck.
As already mentioned 3 times a week is quite normal and at £80/session that's actually quite cheap. I know of someone in America who has no insurance, and was not poor enough to take advantage of their free/subsidised schemes, so was paying around $250/session.
Unfortunately for you people can and do live for several years whilst undergoing dialysis treatment.
Lets just hope the MIL isn't expecting you to purchase a kidney on the black market for her - now that really could bankrupt you.
Unfortunately for you people can and do live for several years whilst undergoing dialysis treatment.
Lets just hope the MIL isn't expecting you to purchase a kidney on the black market for her - now that really could bankrupt you.
My dad has been on dialysis for 2 and a half years after several renal issues, heart attacks and blocked arteries among other coronary problems but strangely no diabetes..
it isn't a cure merely life extender.
in your MIL case it may help for months or many years.. up to you if you decide to pay though...
it isn't a cure merely life extender.
in your MIL case it may help for months or many years.. up to you if you decide to pay though...
King Herald said:
By refusing to pay I would be directly killing the mum in law. Which is tempting, considering some of the vindictive, obnoxious and abusive behaviour she has shelled out to us/me over the year on occasion.
I have spent years trying to get her to follow the rules of being a diabetic, to no avail. When she is left to her own devices she will scoff cakes and sugary st, put salt on everything she eats, drink Coke etc.
Three heart attacks, two kidney stone operations, and god knows how many doctors visits over the years, many thousands of quids it has cost me.
When we lived in the UK she had operations on her eyes, numerous check-ups and free medicines, but eventually she was getting so obnoxious we sent her back to the Philippines. Then foolishly we moved there again ourselves and she lodged herself back in with us somehow.
I simply cannot condemn her to death, but like you say, I will be in charge of her diet when I am at home, plus the rest of us will eat healthier too. None of us is exactly skinny, and the wife is always stocking up on junk food, biscuits, snacks and suchforth. That is going to stop.
I wish you all the best. I suspect it's going to be a tough time for you all.I have spent years trying to get her to follow the rules of being a diabetic, to no avail. When she is left to her own devices she will scoff cakes and sugary s
t, put salt on everything she eats, drink Coke etc. Three heart attacks, two kidney stone operations, and god knows how many doctors visits over the years, many thousands of quids it has cost me.
When we lived in the UK she had operations on her eyes, numerous check-ups and free medicines, but eventually she was getting so obnoxious we sent her back to the Philippines. Then foolishly we moved there again ourselves and she lodged herself back in with us somehow.
I simply cannot condemn her to death, but like you say, I will be in charge of her diet when I am at home, plus the rest of us will eat healthier too. None of us is exactly skinny, and the wife is always stocking up on junk food, biscuits, snacks and suchforth. That is going to stop.
I was facing unemployment until very recently, but it can still loom on the horizon at any time, and living in Asia work won't be easy to find.
I'm glad this dialysis thing didn't crop up a few weeks ago or I would have been damn near suicidal about the whole thing.
I guess I better brace myself for some long term changes of plan spending-wise. The in-laws in the USA have promised to help, but my wifes three siblings are pretty much useless.
I'm glad this dialysis thing didn't crop up a few weeks ago or I would have been damn near suicidal about the whole thing.
I guess I better brace myself for some long term changes of plan spending-wise. The in-laws in the USA have promised to help, but my wifes three siblings are pretty much useless.
NeMiSiS said:
If you were not there, what would she do?
She'd die. The only reason I have any interest is because it is the wifes mother, and thus directly affects me and mine.
I have little or no affection/feelings for the old bag, other than that she is the wifes mum. She has abused and insulted me several times over the years, been banned from our house a couple of times, but managed to wheedle her way back in. A dilemma for sure.
If it were up to me I know which route I'd take....
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