Dad taken ill

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Discussion

trackdemon

12,149 posts

260 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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Not read everything so far, but I've experience of strokes. Tbh I was stting myself when I heard my (then) 79 year old father had suffered a stroke during a knee replacement operation. You hear many things, and I half expected to turn up and visit a shell of a man who could barely speak or knew who I was. And tbf that's how it was to begin with. It was scary actually; the slurred speech and lack of understanding making you wonder if it would ever improve. But it did improve; impressively quickly. I hope it's the same for you.

I wondered if I'd have to kind of put a memory of my father away in a box as 'who he was' and just take care for what remained, but the powers of human recovery are very impressive. I'm probably closer now to him than I've ever been. He's lucid, talkative, and full of cognitive thought. st happens, how we deal with it is what makes us who we are.... Good luck! And stay positive; it'll almost certainly work out OK.

TheJimi

24,860 posts

242 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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Pappagallo, really pleased to read of the positivity and small improvements in your Dad.

BMRuss

1,547 posts

189 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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Thoughts are with you and the family matey, hope your Dad recovers well.

JRewing

17,540 posts

178 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that he makes a good recovery and hopefully swiftly!

He reminds me of my grandfather. He was a doctor with a very illustrious career throughout the empire and at the age of 70 was very fit. A very intelligent and driven man. He quit smoking in his late 20s (when the health risks were made known) and although he liked a gin and tonic, he was never drunk. He also enjoyed a very active lifestyle with seemingly the same hobbies as your father. And then one day he just didn't wake up.

His last words to me were "stop farting about and finish that bottle of scotch" biggrin

eldar

21,614 posts

195 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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Sounds like progress. It will be slow and frustrating for him for the next few months as he recovers.

The main thing he was treated quickly, and the drugs he'll be on are effective and free of any significant side effects. You need to keep positive.

Hope it goes well..

Shaw Tarse

31,543 posts

202 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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Spot on eldar, early treatment is important.
Pappagallo, your dad's attitude will also influence his recovery, hopefully he's a fighter.

thedirector

16 posts

129 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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My grandpa had a stroke about 6 months ago and tbh I don't think he will ever make a full recovery because he can't walk but at least he can eat and drink properly. This is all from a a man who has suffered a lot in his life because he fractured his skull 35 years ago and was inches away from dying at that point but fought back to make a full recovery from that accident. He was active and started hillwalking after the accident but now he lives in a care home and can't talk properly or move his left side.

Kneetrembler

2,069 posts

201 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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All the very best with your Dad and from the sounds of your mail he seems to be well on the way to recovery very early, with some great signs.

Fantastic news for you and your family.


Dalto123

3,198 posts

162 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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All the best to your Father for a speedy recovery!

If it's any consolation my Grandfather had a stroke about 1.5 years ago - He's a Diabetic and Celiac and much older than your father. He had two consecutive strokes with the latter being deemed serious. He was out-cold for the rest of the day. The next morning in the hospital when the nurse went to check on him in the ward he was out of bed walking around complaining (as he always has! hehe)

It effects everyone differently, but I think if my older, not too fit Grandad can make it through without being too affected (visually he's now fine, now got more mobility now than he did) then your Dad stands a pretty good chance smile

TheExcession

11,669 posts

249 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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Pappagallo said:
The only way I can describe it is that my dad is currently a shell of his former self
It might be a good sign.

I went through very similar. A similar situation too, he was extremely fit and active out riding his horse everyday at 70+.

Rushed into hospital, he spent two days on a trolly in the corridor before the stroke consultant was back in on the Monday morning.

I was getting phone calls from him at 2,3,4 am in the morning asking where his wife was, he was sure he was at home but his wife wouldn't come when he called out.

It's taken a good while for him to recover and he is not quite the same.

Yesterday was the first time in years that I went over to visit with his grandson (some family issue obviously).

I was there to fix his computer, but he took Little Ex for a walk around the fields, sat and played chess and dominoes with him, and seemed to really enjoy the company.

We had a lovely meal together and to be honest the atmosphere there was the best I've seen it for years. (The constant bickering and all the bhing had disappeared).

Keep up the hope fella, it might not be quite as bad as it appears right now.

We all have to go sometime, sounds like he might buy you all some extra time yet!

Don't panic or worry too much, just carry on, hopefully he'll recover.

To be honest, your Mum needs and will need more support than he does at the moment.

(Mail me if you want to chat)



chilistrucker

4,541 posts

150 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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BMRuss said:
Thoughts are with you and the family matey, hope your Dad recovers well.
+1, chin up, be strong, best wishes to you all.

DJRC

23,563 posts

235 months

Saturday 19th April 2014
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4 weeks, 3 days.
I got the call at 6am as I was in Italy on business. He was admitted on 26 out of 30. Its hard.

poolyman

21 posts

158 months

Sunday 20th April 2014
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Had a bad stroke at 44 years old that basically lost me some gross motor and all fine motor skills down my right hand side. The swiftness of the disability was the most frightening thing. I was mostly recovered after three months, able to drive again, write very slowly and appear coordinated but it took a few years before I felt I was more or less back where I was. Recovery times are variable. My right arm felt like a stick for weeks. I exercised and exercised to try and make it work again and stupidly the worst fatigue is in your head because your brain no longer knows how your right arm works anymore - its like it has to write new software.

I had two young kids, one of whom is disabled and needs my care. I think that gave me a big incentive to get myself back right, but a stroke is a brain injury. I luckily recovered but the same injury 2mm elsewhere may just kill you dead or leave you with no chance of recovery. I am thankful I had family and support around me and I did feel like a "shell" at some times, not because I was dependent for care, but just because I went from Mr Provider to "Daddy nearly died" in the space of a 60 minute May morning. It sure stopped me smoking though and I mean that with good intention.

Basically, just be supportive. The physical effects of stroke can be significant but it can also affect our sense of identity. Wishing a speedy recovery to your Dad and a good journey for you.

giblet

8,824 posts

176 months

Monday 21st April 2014
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This June will mark 10 years since my dad had his stroke. Still remember it like it was yesterday, he had suffered a few TIA's a few days before but being a daft sod he had ignored the warning signs. The first 24 hours were rather difficult to say the least. Much like your old man his left side was also affected. It didn't help that he had a disability from childhood which meant he used a walking stick. His eyesight was also affected heavily, something that he has never fully recovered from.

The recovery process was a long and difficult one but thanks to the good folks at Chapel Allerton hospital he was slowly brought back to his former self. He eventually managed to start walking on his own but needed supervision. The git decided to try walking in the house a few months after he came home without anyone about but he fell and that caused more issues. Ever since then he has needed someone to support his left side when walking. He is not the same man that he was prior to his stroke but I'm thankful that he is still with us.

Hopefully your dad will recover fully, the early signs are rather encouraging. I can only echo the views of other folks who have said that your mother needs all the help and support that she can get at this time. It might take a few months for him to get back on his feet but its best to take it slowly. Hopefully he will get that drive in the Austin that he has always wanted. Chin up smile

zetec

4,465 posts

250 months

Tuesday 22nd April 2014
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My thoughts are with you, I lost my Dad just over 2 years ago, at first it was thought it was a TIA, it was something much worse.

Your Dad is showing signs of recovery, this is a good sign, fingers crossed it continues.

Freddie328

685 posts

200 months

Wednesday 23rd April 2014
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On May 8th last year my Dad (84 at the time) rang me at work and said "I keep falling over - I think I've had a stroke". My Dad was as strong as an ox and as fit as a fiddle with no health problems, he mucked out 4 horses every day and did all the maintainence on his home and 12 acres of land

I rushed straight home (it seemed the longest journey ever). In the meantime I had called a neighbour who went to him and immediately called the paramedics who were there when I arrived. I had assumed he had rung me immediately after it had happened, but no, he had got up as normal, gone downstairs to make a cup of tea and when he had tried to get up off the kitchen chair, he fell over. He described it as feeling like he didn't have a right leg. But, instead of calling for help straight away, he dragged himself outside and using an old bit of drainpipe for support, managed to get himself across the garden (falling over several times in the process) to the stables as he thought he should feed the horses first!! I could have killed him!

Initially the paramedics thought it was a TIA and were not going to admit him to hospital but he got worse, his speech was muddled and he was unable to walk unaided. They took him to Addenbrookes where a scan revealed he had had a bleed. He was admitted to the acute stroke unit and after 2 days moved to the rehabilitation unit. From day 1 in the rehab unit he was determined to get better, he made sure he got up and dressed every day (with help obviously) and would sit in the chair next to his bed rather than lie in the bed. It completely broke my heart having to wheel my big strong Dad around in a wheelchair but we both knew how fortunate he was compared to a lot of the other people in there. After a few days he was walking, with a frame and support at first and then with a stick. After just over a week they let him go home, I stayed with him and every day for 6 weeks he had a visit from both an occupational therapist and a physio. The care he received both in the hospital and afterwards was second to none.

He still has slightly reduced feeling on his right side and is not as strong as he was and from one that did everything himself (and is the most stubborn person I know!) he will now finally accept help with any "heavy" jobs that need doing but basically his life is not much different than it was before, he is back looking after the horses, driving and cooking for himself. His speech is completely normal again. For 85 years old he is amazing.

I wish your Dad all the very best in his recovery, keep strong for him.

DJRC

23,563 posts

235 months

Wednesday 23rd April 2014
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5 weeks in. Seeing some of dads personality coming back. We think we are getting some movement back to his right leg and some first speech attempts this weekend. A good Easter.

Pappagallo

Original Poster:

755 posts

152 months

Tuesday 29th April 2014
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Hi all, thanks again for the kind and insightful replies. Some very sad tales but also some very encouraging ones.

Dad's doing well. He's still got no movement on the left but is more alert and less nauseous. I haven't seen him for a few days but my brother tells me I'm going to notice a big improvement in his speech and general wellness.

Still very worried about him but things are looking up.


TheJimi

24,860 posts

242 months

Tuesday 29th April 2014
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Great news! thumbup


eldar

21,614 posts

195 months

Tuesday 29th April 2014
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Pappagallo said:
Hi all, thanks again for the kind and insightful replies. Some very sad tales but also some very encouraging ones.

Dad's doing well. He's still got no movement on the left but is more alert and less nauseous. I haven't seen him for a few days but my brother tells me I'm going to notice a big improvement in his speech and general wellness.

Still very worried about him but things are looking up.
He's survived the first 10 days which are the riskiest, and sounds like he's making progress. Looking positive. He'll be concentrating on getting back to normal, which will frustrate him and is part of the healing.

I hope it continues to improve.