Change in Lifestyle or Mild Depression
Discussion
Hey all, I'm the kind of person who prefers to keep things bottled up but just over the past 18 months I've needed to get out how I feel about my life and the direction it's going on paper (well on PH as I love the forum and there is a great bunch of people on here 
). I'm not sure whether I need a change in my lifestyle or if I'm suffering from a mild depression, so I will explain things as to the point as I can. One thing to keep in mind is I have an overactive imagination and constantly think things over so doesn't help sometimes, and some parts of this might sound like a 13 year old ranting!
The past couple of years I've been finding friends more distant. I'm 28 and my friends are a similar age group. A lot of the ones with girlfriends started initially hanging out and now you rarely see them. Even one of my best friends (who admittedly works a lot and doesn't get paid that much) seems to make more excuses not to go out than he used to. Then I've got certain friends who are single but just never get back to you nor make an attempt to get in touch. A lot stay in the city (Aberdeen) and I've lived 10 miles south pretty much all my life, but the ones who moved from the outskirts into the city seem to treat you like you live in a foreign country. One example is my local village Ale festival, which a lot of the guys would have liked, but not one person came to it with me despite me asking people well in advance. Then you notice on social media certain friends did stuff with others the same day which makes me think what the issue is with me. Some of my friends seem to hang about in certain groups and although I get on with everyone, others prefer the groups and I may get excluded for whatever reason. Finally on the friends issue, I had my first BBQ since I moved into my place and over 20 people turned out which was great, but by 7pm most had gone to other parties. These parties had been planned months after I had planned my BBQ where we were going to watch the world cup and everything. Half of me felt grateful they came but the other half makes me feel like they preferred the second option. Certainly if I was invited to one of my friends I'd be happy to go and if something came up I'd ask the other person to consider making it another night. Recently I found out I had passed one of the post graduate modules I'm studying with an A which was beyond my expectations. It felt great and that Friday home it would have been good to celebrate with friends. That Friday I sat in my living room on my own with a beer and it felt like the biggest anticlimax in the world.
Another issue is women. Everyday on my Facebook news feed its another engagement or baby announced, and these are all people several years younger than me. I split up with my ex 18 months ago after 3.5 years on and off of some good times and really nasty times a lot of it. Despite her far from being the nicest person in the world, I've never struggled to get over someone so badly in my life and 18 months on I still think of her every day. Last October I saw her in a club and she kept trying to come over and speak to my friends who she hated just to get my attention. I tried to ignore it, then she was all over some guy in the dance floor and I saw it, couldn't resist and went over pretty drunk (not wanting to start a fight) but saying why could she do all this. I got her mate in my face saying I hurt her so bad which confirmed what I knew that she had basically told her friends I was the nasty one which was far from the truth. My ex didn't even look round, she just smiled into this guys eyes and kept kissing him. I didn't want trouble and just had to leave. I went down some nearby steps and just broke down. Some of my female friends came round and noticed and I was so embarrassed as I've never let any of my friends see me in that state. I was tempted just to run away or drive up north for a few days, cut all contact and hide. I never had the guts and stayed at home absolutely miserable. I thought up to then I had been doing well but this sadly proved I still wasn't over her and how much it killed me inside seeing the girl I'd spent all those close times with in the hands of another guy. I haven't been to the club since, the same one I first met her coming up 5 years ago, and even seeing a photo of her on the club page a month ago made me realise I'm petrified to go back in case I see her.
Strayed a bit there but back onto women in general; I have been internet dating for 18 months too as I'm no longer out as much due to friends not being up for it any more. Couple of dates I liked them and they didn't like me and vice versa. One date where we seen each other 3 months and decided to remain friends. Since February I've only had 1 date. I'm on a few of the free sites so can't expect perfect results, but 18 months of messaging respectable girls and not getting replies is grating on me. What is worse is ones that take an interest in you, speak to you for a couple of weeks, agree to meet then just stop replying out of nowhere. This has happened to about 4 girls recently. I'm getting paranoid I scare off women ha ha. I've had my profiles reviewed and people say they are fine. I'm not an oil painting but probably average looking which a decent job and education. I get the usual cliches from friends and family that I'm a good catch, so what am I doing wrong? I'm not in a hurry to settle down, but feel more in a hurry just to meet someone to spend time with, but never would I message a girl or act like that in person if I got speaking to them as I know I need to take things slowly. Even little things such as on Facebook when I look up why I haven't seen a girls posts for a while, I will find I have been unfriended. And lots of girls have done this with me, rarely guys. I shouldn't give a monkeys really but I'd be lying if I said I didn't. One girl I found who recently unfriended me I had given a big donation to last year for her cancer marathon. For them to physically go on my page and click unfriend makes me wonder what is so wrong with me? I don't put anything bad on my Facebook or rude or annoying. Another was an ex work colleague I used to get on great with, found they had unfriended me but all the other mutual friends were still friends with them. Little things like that make me feel paranoid. Another bad thing is in person I seem to get on with or attract girls who then tell me at the end of the night they are with someone which is also frustrating. I have even started going out in bars on my own just to get out when my friends are being boring, just in the hope I'd get talking to someone but nothing comes of it and I end up feeling worse. I see plenty of guys with not so great looks, not so great jobs getting girls I'd kill for and realise I don't know what to do anymore.
Finally, my work has become stale and I've only stayed for them to pay to gain my Chartered Engineering status. Luckily my old boss has given me an opportunity to do a 4 week rotation down in Angola which I've said I would take if he wants me. It's a great opportunity and could kick start my life, but once again I have the negative thoughts running round my head. Will I get really home sick? Will I be even more distant to my already distant friends? Will it lessen my chances of finding a partner? Will I end up really bored at home and feel more lonely than I currently do?
I feel a bit embarrassed writing all this personal stuff but just really keen to get peoples opinions and thoughts, whether its kind words or words to give me a kick up the butt. At times I have felt really down and tempted to see a doctor but too scared. And then I don't want to waste a doctors time if what I'm going through is just a bad set of circumstances where the people I've met just aren't the best. Over to you
). I'm not sure whether I need a change in my lifestyle or if I'm suffering from a mild depression, so I will explain things as to the point as I can. One thing to keep in mind is I have an overactive imagination and constantly think things over so doesn't help sometimes, and some parts of this might sound like a 13 year old ranting!The past couple of years I've been finding friends more distant. I'm 28 and my friends are a similar age group. A lot of the ones with girlfriends started initially hanging out and now you rarely see them. Even one of my best friends (who admittedly works a lot and doesn't get paid that much) seems to make more excuses not to go out than he used to. Then I've got certain friends who are single but just never get back to you nor make an attempt to get in touch. A lot stay in the city (Aberdeen) and I've lived 10 miles south pretty much all my life, but the ones who moved from the outskirts into the city seem to treat you like you live in a foreign country. One example is my local village Ale festival, which a lot of the guys would have liked, but not one person came to it with me despite me asking people well in advance. Then you notice on social media certain friends did stuff with others the same day which makes me think what the issue is with me. Some of my friends seem to hang about in certain groups and although I get on with everyone, others prefer the groups and I may get excluded for whatever reason. Finally on the friends issue, I had my first BBQ since I moved into my place and over 20 people turned out which was great, but by 7pm most had gone to other parties. These parties had been planned months after I had planned my BBQ where we were going to watch the world cup and everything. Half of me felt grateful they came but the other half makes me feel like they preferred the second option. Certainly if I was invited to one of my friends I'd be happy to go and if something came up I'd ask the other person to consider making it another night. Recently I found out I had passed one of the post graduate modules I'm studying with an A which was beyond my expectations. It felt great and that Friday home it would have been good to celebrate with friends. That Friday I sat in my living room on my own with a beer and it felt like the biggest anticlimax in the world.
Another issue is women. Everyday on my Facebook news feed its another engagement or baby announced, and these are all people several years younger than me. I split up with my ex 18 months ago after 3.5 years on and off of some good times and really nasty times a lot of it. Despite her far from being the nicest person in the world, I've never struggled to get over someone so badly in my life and 18 months on I still think of her every day. Last October I saw her in a club and she kept trying to come over and speak to my friends who she hated just to get my attention. I tried to ignore it, then she was all over some guy in the dance floor and I saw it, couldn't resist and went over pretty drunk (not wanting to start a fight) but saying why could she do all this. I got her mate in my face saying I hurt her so bad which confirmed what I knew that she had basically told her friends I was the nasty one which was far from the truth. My ex didn't even look round, she just smiled into this guys eyes and kept kissing him. I didn't want trouble and just had to leave. I went down some nearby steps and just broke down. Some of my female friends came round and noticed and I was so embarrassed as I've never let any of my friends see me in that state. I was tempted just to run away or drive up north for a few days, cut all contact and hide. I never had the guts and stayed at home absolutely miserable. I thought up to then I had been doing well but this sadly proved I still wasn't over her and how much it killed me inside seeing the girl I'd spent all those close times with in the hands of another guy. I haven't been to the club since, the same one I first met her coming up 5 years ago, and even seeing a photo of her on the club page a month ago made me realise I'm petrified to go back in case I see her.
Strayed a bit there but back onto women in general; I have been internet dating for 18 months too as I'm no longer out as much due to friends not being up for it any more. Couple of dates I liked them and they didn't like me and vice versa. One date where we seen each other 3 months and decided to remain friends. Since February I've only had 1 date. I'm on a few of the free sites so can't expect perfect results, but 18 months of messaging respectable girls and not getting replies is grating on me. What is worse is ones that take an interest in you, speak to you for a couple of weeks, agree to meet then just stop replying out of nowhere. This has happened to about 4 girls recently. I'm getting paranoid I scare off women ha ha. I've had my profiles reviewed and people say they are fine. I'm not an oil painting but probably average looking which a decent job and education. I get the usual cliches from friends and family that I'm a good catch, so what am I doing wrong? I'm not in a hurry to settle down, but feel more in a hurry just to meet someone to spend time with, but never would I message a girl or act like that in person if I got speaking to them as I know I need to take things slowly. Even little things such as on Facebook when I look up why I haven't seen a girls posts for a while, I will find I have been unfriended. And lots of girls have done this with me, rarely guys. I shouldn't give a monkeys really but I'd be lying if I said I didn't. One girl I found who recently unfriended me I had given a big donation to last year for her cancer marathon. For them to physically go on my page and click unfriend makes me wonder what is so wrong with me? I don't put anything bad on my Facebook or rude or annoying. Another was an ex work colleague I used to get on great with, found they had unfriended me but all the other mutual friends were still friends with them. Little things like that make me feel paranoid. Another bad thing is in person I seem to get on with or attract girls who then tell me at the end of the night they are with someone which is also frustrating. I have even started going out in bars on my own just to get out when my friends are being boring, just in the hope I'd get talking to someone but nothing comes of it and I end up feeling worse. I see plenty of guys with not so great looks, not so great jobs getting girls I'd kill for and realise I don't know what to do anymore.
Finally, my work has become stale and I've only stayed for them to pay to gain my Chartered Engineering status. Luckily my old boss has given me an opportunity to do a 4 week rotation down in Angola which I've said I would take if he wants me. It's a great opportunity and could kick start my life, but once again I have the negative thoughts running round my head. Will I get really home sick? Will I be even more distant to my already distant friends? Will it lessen my chances of finding a partner? Will I end up really bored at home and feel more lonely than I currently do?
I feel a bit embarrassed writing all this personal stuff but just really keen to get peoples opinions and thoughts, whether its kind words or words to give me a kick up the butt. At times I have felt really down and tempted to see a doctor but too scared. And then I don't want to waste a doctors time if what I'm going through is just a bad set of circumstances where the people I've met just aren't the best. Over to you
Edited by Mouse1903 on Wednesday 16th July 20:02
Edited by Mouse1903 on Wednesday 16th July 20:02
I think in terms of your friends it's maybe a case of as you get older people change and sometimes friends grow apart. I'm two years older than you and I'm experiencing similar things as you in terms of my friends. A lot of them are married or have girlfriends and some also have children. As soon as this comes along they have little interest in going out and doing the same things as they did ten years ago like drinking etc. Also, your interests change over time and your friends will change according to this fact. I've certainly met new friends from new interests and this sometimes causes you to spend less time with old friends.
With your Facebook I'd just turn it off and get out there and live! It obviously sounds like it's causing you a certain amount of anxiety so why have that in your life when you're getting worked up about it. And actually, how many people on there are actually 'real' friends, not many I'd wager.
The women situation, I don't know as I hopeless too! Maybe you shouldn't force the issue too much and hopefully something will happen. I'm sure someone will offer better advice than me.
With your Facebook I'd just turn it off and get out there and live! It obviously sounds like it's causing you a certain amount of anxiety so why have that in your life when you're getting worked up about it. And actually, how many people on there are actually 'real' friends, not many I'd wager.
The women situation, I don't know as I hopeless too! Maybe you shouldn't force the issue too much and hopefully something will happen. I'm sure someone will offer better advice than me.
I'm no expert so you'll need factor that in when reading my reply, but sounds to me that your issue is one of low self esteem as much as anything else, which is communicating itself to other people. I'd start by deleting the Facebook account, but you could think about going through everyone who's your 'friend' on there and losing the ones who are just acquaintances or otherwise don't contribute to your happiness levels.
I'd also forget the online dating thing for a while. Concentrate instead on finding a hobby / pastime / whatever that you feel a bit of passion and excitement for. Work on this for a while until you find something to do that makes you happy and find some like minded enthusiasts. You should find that your overall state of mind improves and that you can talk to others with some passion and excitement about things. Talking to casual acquaintances with low self esteem is a real turn off so fix this first.
All easier said than done though.
Good luck!
I'd also forget the online dating thing for a while. Concentrate instead on finding a hobby / pastime / whatever that you feel a bit of passion and excitement for. Work on this for a while until you find something to do that makes you happy and find some like minded enthusiasts. You should find that your overall state of mind improves and that you can talk to others with some passion and excitement about things. Talking to casual acquaintances with low self esteem is a real turn off so fix this first.
All easier said than done though.
Good luck!
Anyone who can post an honest, thoughtful, insightful post like yours is going to be ok in the long run, OP. But it sounds like you're caught in a negative cycle: you feel a bit isolated, which other people pick up on and move away from - it's a vicious circle. So two things might help, although neither is guaranteed:
First, focus on the positives: every time you find your thoughts or words moving to negative or dark thoughts, move them onto things you like, or are happy about, or you find fun. People are always attracted to people who are having fun or who are happy in their own skin. This takes practice, but it has a huge impact.
Second, edit down your life: cut out Facebook (great when your busy and happy, crap when you're not) and focus your time and energy on the people you actually like. If someone (of either gender) knows you enjoy their company, they are more likely to help you include them in your life. This is also not easy as most of us think quantity not quality when it comes to friends (and women) but it really does help.
Good luck OP. Many of us have been where you are now ( I certainly have) and with a bit of effort and a bit of good luck, your life can move forward in the way you deserve...
First, focus on the positives: every time you find your thoughts or words moving to negative or dark thoughts, move them onto things you like, or are happy about, or you find fun. People are always attracted to people who are having fun or who are happy in their own skin. This takes practice, but it has a huge impact.
Second, edit down your life: cut out Facebook (great when your busy and happy, crap when you're not) and focus your time and energy on the people you actually like. If someone (of either gender) knows you enjoy their company, they are more likely to help you include them in your life. This is also not easy as most of us think quantity not quality when it comes to friends (and women) but it really does help.
Good luck OP. Many of us have been where you are now ( I certainly have) and with a bit of effort and a bit of good luck, your life can move forward in the way you deserve...
These friends that had kids ? What did you do ? Take round flowers ? Offer to mow the lawn ? Go around with a cool box full of food, and cook dinner for them?
I ask because when we had our first born, we were totally and utterly shattered, and my mate spotted this and came around to babysit without us asking, and left the freezer full of homemade food.
I ask because when we had our first born, we were totally and utterly shattered, and my mate spotted this and came around to babysit without us asking, and left the freezer full of homemade food.
It can be quite difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel if you're in a negative thought loop.
A few thoughts. Firstly, if you don't feel like your life quite fits you comfortably, what's the harm in going to Angola? You might miss home a lot, but if you're on a 4 week rotation worst case scenario is feeling badly homesick for 4 weeks tops. If you think about your current situation, feeling unhappy in your life, is that longer than what you've already had to deal with? On the other hand, It might completely invigorate you - sunlight (good for depression), fresh challenges, broader horizons. You won't know unless you try.
Romance etc is much easier to find when you're feeling positive. Would you ever consider mindfulness based CBT or similar? Negative thinking is habitual, and self perpetuating, and then affects you physically and practically, by robbing you of energy and preventing you seeing and grasping the opportunities and other positives in your life. It can take time to unlearn that.
A few thoughts. Firstly, if you don't feel like your life quite fits you comfortably, what's the harm in going to Angola? You might miss home a lot, but if you're on a 4 week rotation worst case scenario is feeling badly homesick for 4 weeks tops. If you think about your current situation, feeling unhappy in your life, is that longer than what you've already had to deal with? On the other hand, It might completely invigorate you - sunlight (good for depression), fresh challenges, broader horizons. You won't know unless you try.
Romance etc is much easier to find when you're feeling positive. Would you ever consider mindfulness based CBT or similar? Negative thinking is habitual, and self perpetuating, and then affects you physically and practically, by robbing you of energy and preventing you seeing and grasping the opportunities and other positives in your life. It can take time to unlearn that.
Have a word with your doctor Mouse.Explain how you feel and you might be able to see a therapist.Or arrange to see a therapist yourself.You need your confidence back.We all have live experiences which can hit us hart.
Not that long ago after my cancer operation and chemo I was down and I mean down.Therapie did help me talking about how you feel.You are young and have live ahead of you, with confidence you will meet the right person for you.
You come across as a intelligent man to me and I wish you all the best.>
Not that long ago after my cancer operation and chemo I was down and I mean down.Therapie did help me talking about how you feel.You are young and have live ahead of you, with confidence you will meet the right person for you.
You come across as a intelligent man to me and I wish you all the best.>
Thanks for the advice everyone. I still feel embarrassed posting something like this. I guess I need to change or invigorate my life but I don't seem to have a lot of people there to do it with. The worst part is seeing others do things together but me not being connected to similar people like that, forcing me to sometimes try things on my own. I've applied for this new job and I think I will monitor things over the next month before considering seeing the doctor, possibly just for advice. Last few days and this weekend has been a bit better. Someone slap me and tell me to stop worrying about others and worry about myself ha ha
OP, very honest post, and credit to you for posting it. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Facebook is weird. My cousins unfriended me, which I was pretty pissed off at at the time. I'm not sure what I did, or did not do, but there you are. I've actually contemplated binning it altogether, but there are people on there who I do want to keep in touch with. So I just made the decision not to take it all that seriously anymore.
In terms of the other stuff, it's just growing up. People get married and have kids, it takes a massive amount out of their lives. Just think of all the adverts you see with 'selling as had a baby and don't have time anymore' or words to that affect. It's a bit dull, but you end up seeing less of your mates and the time you spend with them is barbecues or dinner or something, rather than getting out on the town.
I remember when I split up with a girl who I'd been living with. I had to move out of the flat we shared into a house that I'd bought, and found that I was poorer because of that, and also that because all my mates had got women on the go, and my best mate had got married and had kids I was kind of alone. I also had a house to do up. I went through the same sort of soul-searching as you. What did I do? I played rugby, went out with the lads afterwards and for the first time in my life chatted up girls who were total strangers. Most of the time I just introduced myself and asked if they'd like to be bought a drink.
I got married a fair time later to a girl who I met at work.
Suppose what I'm saying is what you're going through and your response to it is normal.
You can go to the doctor's, they'll have a pretty simple test to see if you're depressed - might just be worth it for your own piece of mind.
Facebook is weird. My cousins unfriended me, which I was pretty pissed off at at the time. I'm not sure what I did, or did not do, but there you are. I've actually contemplated binning it altogether, but there are people on there who I do want to keep in touch with. So I just made the decision not to take it all that seriously anymore.
In terms of the other stuff, it's just growing up. People get married and have kids, it takes a massive amount out of their lives. Just think of all the adverts you see with 'selling as had a baby and don't have time anymore' or words to that affect. It's a bit dull, but you end up seeing less of your mates and the time you spend with them is barbecues or dinner or something, rather than getting out on the town.
I remember when I split up with a girl who I'd been living with. I had to move out of the flat we shared into a house that I'd bought, and found that I was poorer because of that, and also that because all my mates had got women on the go, and my best mate had got married and had kids I was kind of alone. I also had a house to do up. I went through the same sort of soul-searching as you. What did I do? I played rugby, went out with the lads afterwards and for the first time in my life chatted up girls who were total strangers. Most of the time I just introduced myself and asked if they'd like to be bought a drink.
I got married a fair time later to a girl who I met at work.
Suppose what I'm saying is what you're going through and your response to it is normal.
You can go to the doctor's, they'll have a pretty simple test to see if you're depressed - might just be worth it for your own piece of mind.
OP,
Focus on other parts of your life for the next 3-6 months. Step out of your comfort zone. Do something you have always wanted to do and focus on it. Join a club (sports, chess etc) but go out and meet new people doing something you enjoy, have a coffee or a beer with the new people/ club members after the event, don't just stand there waiting for them to talk to you, you go and speak to them. Focus on your job and how you can move on to that next big step. Take an exam, get that qualification.
Do all this and I promise you things will be a hell of a lot better and you will be in a better frame of mind to start dating again, and if you meet someone then brilliant and if she decides to split up with you then you have all these other amazing parts of your life to focus on and start again. Be selfish!
Focus on other parts of your life for the next 3-6 months. Step out of your comfort zone. Do something you have always wanted to do and focus on it. Join a club (sports, chess etc) but go out and meet new people doing something you enjoy, have a coffee or a beer with the new people/ club members after the event, don't just stand there waiting for them to talk to you, you go and speak to them. Focus on your job and how you can move on to that next big step. Take an exam, get that qualification.
Do all this and I promise you things will be a hell of a lot better and you will be in a better frame of mind to start dating again, and if you meet someone then brilliant and if she decides to split up with you then you have all these other amazing parts of your life to focus on and start again. Be selfish!
I posted this in another thread, ive not read all of the OP so I hope its relevant (this followed a load of stuff about diet hence the reference to weight loss, which really effects my mood/state of mind so might be worth considering looking at what you eat/drink) -
Be positive, pretend to be positive, think of it this way, your in control of what you think, your in control of your brain, take control of it. Smile for no reason, think of something funny.
At the start I had in my mind that I would always say yes to everything and anything (obviously some exceptions), say yes even if your saying no, put a positive spin on things. Concentrate on the positives in your life no matter how small, deal with and forget about the negatives for example you've lost 10pounds, that's nearly a stone that's fking awesome, forgot that its taken you longer than you thought it should, tell everyone you've lost weight, boast about that s
t, be positive.
My strategy for when I feel depressed is -
1/Watch a film - watch a comedy film, every one has a selection of comedy/light hearted films they love, watch 1 or more.
2/Sleep - Go to bed early, get up early. It works for me, give it a try. (only to be used in extreme cases)
3/Play a computer game - play something in depth that will get your mind off whatever is bothering you.
4/Learn a music instrument - similar theme as above, you don't have to be an expert over night it takes time, relax and enjoy learning something new.
Be positive, pretend to be positive, think of it this way, your in control of what you think, your in control of your brain, take control of it. Smile for no reason, think of something funny.
At the start I had in my mind that I would always say yes to everything and anything (obviously some exceptions), say yes even if your saying no, put a positive spin on things. Concentrate on the positives in your life no matter how small, deal with and forget about the negatives for example you've lost 10pounds, that's nearly a stone that's fking awesome, forgot that its taken you longer than you thought it should, tell everyone you've lost weight, boast about that s
t, be positive. My strategy for when I feel depressed is -
1/Watch a film - watch a comedy film, every one has a selection of comedy/light hearted films they love, watch 1 or more.
2/Sleep - Go to bed early, get up early. It works for me, give it a try. (only to be used in extreme cases)
3/Play a computer game - play something in depth that will get your mind off whatever is bothering you.
4/Learn a music instrument - similar theme as above, you don't have to be an expert over night it takes time, relax and enjoy learning something new.
Purity14 said:
I'm 29, I work in IT and have never had a facebook.
Who cares what everyone else is doing, its what you are doing that counts.
Who cares about having to be in a relationship with a woman, learn to enjoy life on your own and then incorporate them into your life.
Far too many people jump from relationship to relationship molding themselves around their next partner.
They have no idea who they are themselves, You are in the perfect position to fk off to Angola and see the world and learn about who you are and what you want out of life.
Unless you want to be knocking about 10 miles out of Aberdeen all your life, playing happy families for 10 years or so before the divorce happens and you start another thread wishing you spent your life differently.
This ^^^Who cares what everyone else is doing, its what you are doing that counts.
Who cares about having to be in a relationship with a woman, learn to enjoy life on your own and then incorporate them into your life.
Far too many people jump from relationship to relationship molding themselves around their next partner.
They have no idea who they are themselves, You are in the perfect position to f
k off to Angola and see the world and learn about who you are and what you want out of life.Unless you want to be knocking about 10 miles out of Aberdeen all your life, playing happy families for 10 years or so before the divorce happens and you start another thread wishing you spent your life differently.
Good luck Mouse you sound a decent chap take some pressure off yourself and chill out
Purity14 said:
I'm 29, I work in IT and have never had a facebook.
Who cares what everyone else is doing, its what you are doing that counts.
Who cares about having to be in a relationship with a woman, learn to enjoy life on your own and then incorporate them into your life.
Far too many people jump from relationship to relationship molding themselves around their next partner.
They have no idea who they are themselves, You are in the perfect position to fk off to Angola and see the world and learn about who you are and what you want out of life.
Unless you want to be knocking about 10 miles out of Aberdeen all your life, playing happy families for 10 years or so before the divorce happens and you start another thread wishing you spent your life differently.
This ^^^Who cares what everyone else is doing, its what you are doing that counts.
Who cares about having to be in a relationship with a woman, learn to enjoy life on your own and then incorporate them into your life.
Far too many people jump from relationship to relationship molding themselves around their next partner.
They have no idea who they are themselves, You are in the perfect position to f
k off to Angola and see the world and learn about who you are and what you want out of life.Unless you want to be knocking about 10 miles out of Aberdeen all your life, playing happy families for 10 years or so before the divorce happens and you start another thread wishing you spent your life differently.
Good luck Mouse you sound a decent chap take some pressure off yourself and chill out
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