Wife's anxiety

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OldBuoy

Original Poster:

26,954 posts

182 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
quotequote all
My wife suffers from anxiety problems. They manifest themselves with foreign travel (something I love) amongst other things.

I've lost count of the number of flights we've missed so I've resigned myself to not flying. To avoid this we've been driving/tgv through France and Italy for holidays. (something she loves, she is fluent in french)

However even this seems to be a problem now, six months ago we were invited to meet some friends at a gite in mid France. We are due to leave tommorrow but she's been awake all night worrying, not about anything valid but stupid things (even she say's they are stupid). So much so she said "I wish I could close my eyes and not wake up" to "deal with my head"

As you can imagine this makes me anxious as well, the whole thing spoils an other wise perfect trip.

Any suggestions?

jonah35

3,940 posts

156 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
quotequote all
Agree with her to not tell her in future and then just tell her the morning you're going.

Get her to have cbt

Sounds weird but get her diet sorted, no alcohol, no caffeine, no sugar, no processed foods. If its as bad as she says it is then she will be willing to do this and she will see a big difference. No drinks but water. Clean, 'cave man' diet eg plain chicken, vegetables and small amount of fruit, plain grilled fish etc. no wheat or dairy.

Medication but this is one I don't like.

Hypnotherapy.

Nezquick

1,453 posts

125 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
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I'd second the above suggestion of hypnotherapy. I wasn't a real believer in it until I used it to try and sort a "freaky eating" habit I had many years ago. It worked for me.

firemunki

361 posts

130 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
quotequote all
Randomly enough a hypnotoad was what I was going to suggest. Saw one recently for some sports coaching and it works. Which pleasantly surprised me. Wasn't overly expensive hence the initial punt but it was def worth it.

OldBuoy

Original Poster:

26,954 posts

182 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
quotequote all
Thanks chaps. thumbup

It really does spoil the holiday, this anxiety starts weeks/months in advance.

We tried a flying without fear course a few yrs ago. It worked for a while we took a couple of flights but quickly regressed.

Hypnotheray sounds interesting I'll try to get her to have a go. We have a good diet and have cut down on booze (it was getting out of hand)

Liquid Tuna

1,398 posts

155 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
quotequote all
If she can cope with the rest of the holiday and it's the actual air travel she's worried about, I'd ask her to see the doctor for a prescription. If she explains she's having hypnotherapy / cbt as a long term strategy to deal with it, the doctor is far more likely to prescribe something to help through the flight.

OldBuoy

Original Poster:

26,954 posts

182 months

Wednesday 10th September 2014
quotequote all
Liquid Tuna said:
If she can cope with the rest of the holiday and it's the actual air travel she's worried about, I'd ask her to see the doctor for a prescription. If she explains she's having hypnotherapy / cbt as a long term strategy to deal with it, the doctor is far more likely to prescribe something to help through the flight.
No this one's a driving holiday, she's packed (ready for an early start tomorrow) and seems calmer. She'll be ok once we get going.

I've broached the subject of hypnotherapy, she seems okay with the idea so we can look further into this once we're back.

ObSene

102 posts

150 months

Thursday 11th September 2014
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As mentioned before, get her to a doctors who get her in contact with Talking Therapy (CBT).

FredClogs

14,041 posts

160 months

Friday 12th September 2014
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my missus had a few quite bad bouts of anxiety about all sorts of things and social occasions after the kids were born and she still struggles now, we were in London on the tube last weekend and she had a moment, mind you I don't think anyone really enjoys the tube. She had CBT in the early days and found it useful, you have to buy into it though, she also has some meds for a while but got her self off them as they were becoming a habit, she still takes Kalms every now and then and says they help. It's a quite tricky thing to understand and get over, you have to find a fine balance between helping and understanding but not letting her get away with stuff that she and you want to be doing - it's got to the point now where I just call her out on being a neurotic bh and she calls me an insensitive ahole and we go from there but it takes time.

J4CKO

41,280 posts

199 months

Saturday 13th September 2014
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jonah35 said:
Agree with her to not tell her in future and then just tell her the morning you're going.

Get her to have cbt

Sounds weird but get her diet sorted, no alcohol, no caffeine, no sugar, no processed foods. If its as bad as she says it is then she will be willing to do this and she will see a big difference. No drinks but water. Clean, 'cave man' diet eg plain chicken, vegetables and small amount of fruit, plain grilled fish etc. no wheat or dairy.

Medication but this is one I don't like.

Hypnotherapy.
Do her motorcycle test ?


Was my first thought,


Then I realised what you mean.

Fun Bus

17,911 posts

217 months

Saturday 13th September 2014
quotequote all
lepetitoeuf said:
Also consider pshychotherapy, it might be worth trying to get to the bottom of the anxiety.
It will be a good start - a lot of anxiety stems from shame and overcoming the shame can help suppress anxious feelings.