The Fissure King seeks advice
Discussion
dave_s13 said:
Also, proctology, although maybe a niche career choice must be pretty rewarding. Any ailment that deprives one of a leisurely, satisfying dump must be pure misery. Helping cure that is no bad thing at all.
AIUI, whilst they'd rather be doing bowel operations for more complex stuff, the routine stuff ie removing piles might pay less but is more frequent so pays for the S Class and keeps the kids in private school.dave_s13 said:
I love how medications are sometimes named so as to leave no guessing required as to your ailments.
It must raise eyebrows in Morrisons when Sandra on til three put a tannoy call out for a price on bummedtobreakingpointaline.
Also, proctology, although maybe a niche career choice must be pretty rewarding. Any ailment that deprives one of a leisurely, satisfying dump must be pure misery. Helping cure that is no bad thing at all.
I suppose they often say things are looking up. However, sIt must raise eyebrows in Morrisons when Sandra on til three put a tannoy call out for a price on bummedtobreakingpointaline.
Also, proctology, although maybe a niche career choice must be pretty rewarding. Any ailment that deprives one of a leisurely, satisfying dump must be pure misery. Helping cure that is no bad thing at all.
tting barbed wire and coping with farts with fangs has become tedious.snood said:
Hoofy said:
AIUI, whilst they'd rather be doing bowel operations for more complex stuff, the routine stuff ie removing piles might pay less but is more frequent so pays for the S Class and keeps the kids in private school.
Is the top consultant known as the Lord of the Rings then?
They just name him Mr* Sauron.
* - because consultants are Mister not Doctor.
Update time! Just been to local hospital. Nice lady doc gave me a professional fingering. "Fissure in ano", she opined. I've been to the services at Easton in Gordano (Bristol way) but Fissure in Ano? Never.
Next to try is Diltiazem...a ring-relaxing calcium channel blocker. Then, a firkle around under general anaesthetic (for me, not them), and probably Botox.
So it's a fissure in a bad place, probably a risk of living in Beatrix Potter land. But I'll probably end up with a catwalk-quality botty.
The adventures life presents!!
Next to try is Diltiazem...a ring-relaxing calcium channel blocker. Then, a firkle around under general anaesthetic (for me, not them), and probably Botox.
So it's a fissure in a bad place, probably a risk of living in Beatrix Potter land. But I'll probably end up with a catwalk-quality botty.
The adventures life presents!!
Another update. I went to collect the Diltiazem but it'll take 10 days for the prescription to be filled in.
Seems it's unlicensed by NICE, so the 'scrip has to be a special one, assuming the doc's happy.
It also seems it's £78-odd per tube and usually two tubes are needed for an 8-week course, cos it goes off 2 weeks after it's opened.
Upside, in a study of 43 sufferers, it was effective on over half. Only three needed to go for surgery.
Seems it's unlicensed by NICE, so the 'scrip has to be a special one, assuming the doc's happy.
It also seems it's £78-odd per tube and usually two tubes are needed for an 8-week course, cos it goes off 2 weeks after it's opened.
Upside, in a study of 43 sufferers, it was effective on over half. Only three needed to go for surgery.
Mr Pointy said:
Just be prepared for a bit of 'leakage', especially if you go for the Botox. An absorbent pad in your trolleys for a few days might be a wise precaution.
I understand leakage is a potential problem. I'll have to get some Tena Lady thingies if need be (my stupid mate thought a Tena Lady was a very inexpensive prostitute). davhill said:
I understand leakage is a potential problem. I'll have to get some Tena Lady thingies if need be (my stupid mate thought a Tena Lady was a very inexpensive prostitute).
An "Always Daily Long Plus" in your pants and a couple of non woven swabs between your cheeks is my advice. 
bad company said:
I wish you all the best mate. When I have had fissures I always ended up needing surgery, nothing drastic but a 'pain in the a**e'!!!
Thanks! I'm hoping the new med fixes me before I need a yet another GA and botox. Hope against hope probably, judging by today's P.I.T.A. but who knows? Early days in the Diltiazem yet. Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff