Describing piles to a 9 year old...

Describing piles to a 9 year old...

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CheesyFootballs

Original Poster:

14,673 posts

188 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
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My own fault for leaving the Anusol on show, resplendent with long 'up yer arse' tube in place.

So my 9 year old son decides to clean his teeth in my bathroom (no, he didn't use the wrong tube...) and spots the little tube of relief languishing on the side, ready to administer the danglberry relief '....Dad, what's this A-n-you-s-o-l-e..'


Oh, what fun I've just had explaining that if you sit on the bog for too long reading Auto Express, or Plumpers Monthly, that these little nuggets of Satans juice will come and wreak havoc upon your anus - hard enought to explain when sober, but after several vinos and a curry - quite possibly the cause of the little bds (the piles, not the kid....although thinking back...) - he just laughed and walked off muttering something about 'pileman'...

It'll be all round the school playground by first break Monday.

Just sayin', like...

lemonslap

960 posts

154 months

Saturday 31st January 2015
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smilebiggrin

I currently have a hole in my bum cheek (waiting for surgery), caused by an ingrown hair that made a sinus. I was explaining to my 5 year old son to please stop jumping on daddy as I have a hole in my bottom., he rolled around laughing and has proceeded to tell all his friends at school... The best bit was he had two friends over for dinner and came up to my home office with them and said " This is my daddy, he has a hole in his bottom", I replied " we all have holes in our bottoms, however I'm speical because I have two.. (more laughter). Good luck!

Asterix

24,438 posts

227 months

Monday 2nd February 2015
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You could say they are your 'Cheesy Footballs'.