Communicating and dementia
Discussion
mph1977 said:
Ruskie said:
Did you see the program called 'Dementiaville' on channel 4 a few weeks back? Well worth a look.
When I talk with people with dementia I tend to agree with whatever they are talking about. Definitely keep calm and patient though, don't forget it's not his fault.
once a certain point has been reached as dementia progresses, you cannot adequately bring someone with dementia to the 'reality' of today;s time and date , relationship dynamics etc ... When I talk with people with dementia I tend to agree with whatever they are talking about. Definitely keep calm and patient though, don't forget it's not his fault.
at that point the least stressful approach for all is to tolerate their reality ...
if someone;s short term memory is shot - which is really qite common in people with dementia or patchy - every time you tell them something they don;t remember it;s like experiencing the event for the first time ...
oh the joys of mental capacity and best interests assessment in people with dementia ...
one way to imagine dementia is that someone has gone round a complex set of circuits randomly loosening connections, pulling wires out and so on ... so everyone's progression is difficult
mph1977 said:
for raising an important dignity in care issue ?
for daring to point out a Dignity in Care issue ? one, which if you were the partner/ child / advocate for someone with Dementia you'd likely object to ...
Do you think I literally mean I treat her like a child?for daring to point out a Dignity in Care issue ? one, which if you were the partner/ child / advocate for someone with Dementia you'd likely object to ...
Ask her if she wants ice cream after her din dins etc?
longshot said:
mph1977 said:
for raising an important dignity in care issue ?
for daring to point out a Dignity in Care issue ? one, which if you were the partner/ child / advocate for someone with Dementia you'd likely object to ...
Do you think I literally mean I treat her like a child?for daring to point out a Dignity in Care issue ? one, which if you were the partner/ child / advocate for someone with Dementia you'd likely object to ...
Ask her if she wants ice cream after her din dins etc?
Ruskie said:
mph1977 said:
Ruskie said:
Did you see the program called 'Dementiaville' on channel 4 a few weeks back? Well worth a look.
When I talk with people with dementia I tend to agree with whatever they are talking about. Definitely keep calm and patient though, don't forget it's not his fault.
once a certain point has been reached as dementia progresses, you cannot adequately bring someone with dementia to the 'reality' of today;s time and date , relationship dynamics etc ... When I talk with people with dementia I tend to agree with whatever they are talking about. Definitely keep calm and patient though, don't forget it's not his fault.
at that point the least stressful approach for all is to tolerate their reality ...
if someone;s short term memory is shot - which is really qite common in people with dementia or patchy - every time you tell them something they don;t remember it;s like experiencing the event for the first time ...
oh the joys of mental capacity and best interests assessment in people with dementia ...
one way to imagine dementia is that someone has gone round a complex set of circuits randomly loosening connections, pulling wires out and so on ... so everyone's progression is difficult
mph1977 said:
Ruskie said:
mph1977 said:
Ruskie said:
Did you see the program called 'Dementiaville' on channel 4 a few weeks back? Well worth a look.
When I talk with people with dementia I tend to agree with whatever they are talking about. Definitely keep calm and patient though, don't forget it's not his fault.
once a certain point has been reached as dementia progresses, you cannot adequately bring someone with dementia to the 'reality' of today;s time and date , relationship dynamics etc ... When I talk with people with dementia I tend to agree with whatever they are talking about. Definitely keep calm and patient though, don't forget it's not his fault.
at that point the least stressful approach for all is to tolerate their reality ...
if someone;s short term memory is shot - which is really qite common in people with dementia or patchy - every time you tell them something they don;t remember it;s like experiencing the event for the first time ...
oh the joys of mental capacity and best interests assessment in people with dementia ...
one way to imagine dementia is that someone has gone round a complex set of circuits randomly loosening connections, pulling wires out and so on ... so everyone's progression is difficult
Ruskie said:
You are aware of what my job is?
yes you are a Paramedic and therefore it is fairly safe to assert that you consider yourself above us mere Nurses , as is constantly seen from all the Paramedics who try to start pissing contests with Nurses about why Paramedics should be in band 6 on qualification , why paramedics are better becasue airway management / stat exemption drugs etc etc ( i'm not aware of any psychomotor skills Paramedics do that Nurses aren;t allowed to do if their role requires it ) or mis apprehensions aobut the autonomy of RNs vs Paramedics.longshot said:
Do you think I literally mean I treat her like a child?
Ask her if she wants ice cream after her din dins etc?
Actually that's exactly the kind of thing my 91 yr old dementia suffering mother likes.Her face lights up when she is offered an ice cream or a cake or other treats a child would like.Ask her if she wants ice cream after her din dins etc?
She IS like a child a lot of the time.
Once you work out what stage of her/his life the person is remembering at that particularly time,they need to be treated accordingly.
So as an example,often my mother thinks she's a teenager.Doesn't it then make sense to treat her as a teenager ?
V8covin said:
Actually that's exactly the kind of thing my 91 yr old dementia suffering mother likes.Her face lights up when she is offered an ice cream or a cake or other treats a child would like.
She IS like a child a lot of the time.
Once you work out what stage of her/his life the person is remembering at that particularly time,they need to be treated accordingly.
So as an example,often my mother thinks she's a teenager.Doesn't it then make sense to treat her as a teenager ?
That's very interesting.She IS like a child a lot of the time.
Once you work out what stage of her/his life the person is remembering at that particularly time,they need to be treated accordingly.
So as an example,often my mother thinks she's a teenager.Doesn't it then make sense to treat her as a teenager ?
I don't suppose any of us know where we are on the Alzheimer's journey so any info is gold.
Thanks for sharing.
We currently look after my wifes father, previously looking after my father during his 'journey" we found music essentail, we fount he changed from classical, to Pink Floyd as it progressed, conversations were from 20 years ago, and his taste changed to favour sweet items. talk became more difficult as he progressed especially as your own frustrations conflicted with his wishes (no you cant have another sweet etc.).
As for wording, for many professionals it is critical, carers become more "this is what I see and do" so can see both, but many carers find the simantics and wordplay simply a waste of time over the trials of the job.
As for wording, for many professionals it is critical, carers become more "this is what I see and do" so can see both, but many carers find the simantics and wordplay simply a waste of time over the trials of the job.
longshot said:
V8covin said:
Actually that's exactly the kind of thing my 91 yr old dementia suffering mother likes.Her face lights up when she is offered an ice cream or a cake or other treats a child would like.
She IS like a child a lot of the time.
Once you work out what stage of her/his life the person is remembering at that particularly time,they need to be treated accordingly.
So as an example,often my mother thinks she's a teenager.Doesn't it then make sense to treat her as a teenager ?
That's very interesting.She IS like a child a lot of the time.
Once you work out what stage of her/his life the person is remembering at that particularly time,they need to be treated accordingly.
So as an example,often my mother thinks she's a teenager.Doesn't it then make sense to treat her as a teenager ?
I don't suppose any of us know where we are on the Alzheimer's journey so any info is gold.
Thanks for sharing.
king soul destroying 
There's a sort of inbetween option: you don't want to challenge someone outright, there's basically no possible good it can do and might cause stress/upset and screw all sorts of stuff up, but 'playing along' could leave someone who's already got a vague sense of "something's not right here" feeling deceived/pandered to and generally not reassured.
My grandfather had Alzheimer's, he had a patch where he'd think he wasn't at home but at the station in Paris (?!) and due to catch a train and would ask about it over and over. Turned out saying "no, we're at home" didn't really help and neither did "sure yeah, we'll go home soon" but "we're right where we need to be, don't worry about the train, we'll tell you if we need to go anywhere" seemed to land about right.
Sympathies, this stuff can be really tough to deal with. Never hesitate to seek help if you need to.
My grandfather had Alzheimer's, he had a patch where he'd think he wasn't at home but at the station in Paris (?!) and due to catch a train and would ask about it over and over. Turned out saying "no, we're at home" didn't really help and neither did "sure yeah, we'll go home soon" but "we're right where we need to be, don't worry about the train, we'll tell you if we need to go anywhere" seemed to land about right.
Sympathies, this stuff can be really tough to deal with. Never hesitate to seek help if you need to.
BlackVanDyke said:
There's a sort of inbetween option: you don't want to challenge someone outright, there's basically no possible good it can do and might cause stress/upset and screw all sorts of stuff up, but 'playing along' could leave someone who's already got a vague sense of "something's not right here" feeling deceived/pandered to and generally not reassured.
My grandfather had Alzheimer's, he had a patch where he'd think he wasn't at home but at the station in Paris (?!) and due to catch a train and would ask about it over and over. Turned out saying "no, we're at home" didn't really help and neither did "sure yeah, we'll go home soon" but "we're right where we need to be, don't worry about the train, we'll tell you if we need to go anywhere" seemed to land about right.
Sympathies, this stuff can be really tough to deal with. Never hesitate to seek help if you need to.
Sounds familiar.My grandfather had Alzheimer's, he had a patch where he'd think he wasn't at home but at the station in Paris (?!) and due to catch a train and would ask about it over and over. Turned out saying "no, we're at home" didn't really help and neither did "sure yeah, we'll go home soon" but "we're right where we need to be, don't worry about the train, we'll tell you if we need to go anywhere" seemed to land about right.
Sympathies, this stuff can be really tough to deal with. Never hesitate to seek help if you need to.
Last week my dad was insistant that I needed to settle a bill for food and accomodation for "the place he's sent to at night time" (he's been in NHS hospital for >18 months).
My response was that there were currently no outstanding bills but if I saw one I'd sort it out.
Trouble is, despite me being 51 years old and reasonably successful, he still doesn't think I can be relied on to do the simplest things.
I'm pretty sure this belief that I can't be trusted to sit on the lavvy the right way round is stronger than any of his dreams and fantasies.
As a result, I suspect he wasn't entirely satisfied with my response.
My mum has vascular dementia - watching her go from razor sharp wit and being very worldy wise to not being able to hold a sentence together without the sentence wandering off in a random direction is difficult to bear.
I gently try to bring it back onto subject and keep all conversations very light hearted.
Mum now talks about my sister in the 3rd person even when she's stood in front of mum, luckily she remembers I have children a wife and a dog. For how long I dont know but she is definitely becoming more and more withdrawn from conversation and doesnt have an opinion anymore on any thing (apathy).
Sub cortical lesions and plaques and small vessel disease. If a stroke suddenly wiped her out then in a way it would be the kindest thing. I feel st for saying that but...
My dad died of a brain tumour, he went through paralysis, incontinence, totally undignified end for him too.
Its no easier the second time dealing with a parent dying of a disease of the brain.
I gently try to bring it back onto subject and keep all conversations very light hearted.
Mum now talks about my sister in the 3rd person even when she's stood in front of mum, luckily she remembers I have children a wife and a dog. For how long I dont know but she is definitely becoming more and more withdrawn from conversation and doesnt have an opinion anymore on any thing (apathy).
Sub cortical lesions and plaques and small vessel disease. If a stroke suddenly wiped her out then in a way it would be the kindest thing. I feel s
t for saying that but...My dad died of a brain tumour, he went through paralysis, incontinence, totally undignified end for him too.
Its no easier the second time dealing with a parent dying of a disease of the brain.
Don't feel bad for saying it, the ultimate prize in final stage dementia is the sweet release of the long sleep. It's a strange disease, my dad as I knew him died years ago yet his body and organs live on in a stranger.
When he finally gives up I think I think there will be a sense of relief as well as sadness.
When he finally gives up I think I think there will be a sense of relief as well as sadness.
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