Discussion
blueg33 said:
Update on my daughter who is now 18.
College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
I remembered that I had previously looked into weighted blankets and vests, so we've just agreed to invest in a compression vest for her to wear under her school shirt. They are not cheap but I am hoping this will work, at least to some extent.College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
I gave up asking my eldest to help around the house. She has to tidy her room, pick up her plates, but chores are beyond her at the moment.
5MUG said:
oldbanger I have just emailed you. S
Thank you!From reading around it sounds like low doses of Benzos help people with autism to manage some of their symptoms (but only low doses)
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/antianx...
Dr Jekyll said:
As I understand it Aspergers was only widely recognised from around 1990. What happened before then? Were sufferers simply regarded as mildly Autistic?
Hans Asperger used the phrase 'autistic psychopathy' in the '40s, although a Soviet child psychiatrist whose name escapes me coined the term in the '20s.The word schizoid meant eccentric in clinical parlance in those times, so I should imagine some sufferers, ASD and Aspergic alike, would have fallen under this category. Incidentally, I believe a fair number of people (especially children) would have been wrongly diagnosed as schizophrenic, due to a combination of the lack of understanding of autism and similar symptoms shared between some autistic people with what's known as the negative symptoms of schizophrenia.
Sadly I think many would have been misdiagnosed or gone through their lives without too much help.
Edited by NoVetec on Friday 27th April 21:02
blueg33 said:
Update on my daughter who is now 18.
College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
If you find you need to push the distance learning route, I have studied with the national extension college and found them quite good. Also I have used coursera - there are lots of short uni backed courses which you can take. I am currently picking away at a machine learning module run by Stanford University. You don’t need to pay for these unless you want a certificate at the end, and you can sort this right up to the last minute. College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
Work wise I am incredibly lucky. My employer just started flexible working so I am not officially late if I can get there before 10. The problems with that are that most of my colleagues work 8-4 and working until 6 means I don’t get home until 7, which is too late for the kids. Whilst I am not irreplaceable, getting rid of me would set my boss back enough that I have a little bit of leeway, as long as everything progresses.
oldbanger said:
If you find you need to push the distance learning route, I have studied with the national extension college and found them quite good. Also I have used coursera - there are lots of short uni backed courses which you can take. I am currently picking away at a machine learning module run by Stanford University. You don’t need to pay for these unless you want a certificate at the end, and you can sort this right up to the last minute.
Work wise I am incredibly lucky. My employer just started flexible working so I am not officially late if I can get there before 10. The problems with that are that most of my colleagues work 8-4 and working until 6 means I don’t get home until 7, which is too late for the kids. Whilst I am not irreplaceable, getting rid of me would set my boss back enough that I have a little bit of leeway, as long as everything progresses.
Thanks, National Extension College is what the school and LA proposed that they have reneged on!Work wise I am incredibly lucky. My employer just started flexible working so I am not officially late if I can get there before 10. The problems with that are that most of my colleagues work 8-4 and working until 6 means I don’t get home until 7, which is too late for the kids. Whilst I am not irreplaceable, getting rid of me would set my boss back enough that I have a little bit of leeway, as long as everything progresses.
My work is flexible, but my job is high pressured and needs me to retain a lot of ever changing info and strategize accordingly, with all the college and behaviour stuff I and just not performing anywhere near my best. Probably cost the business £200k last year through a flawed decision
This entire half term has been beset by school refusal by my eldest, who seems to be quite fragile. I get the 14 year old to school eventually but I am having to dress her and carry her about, and she lashes out quite a bit. She is taller than I am, although very skinny.
This morning I had the added complication of my other child age 11 trashing the house in front of the au pair whilst I drove the 14 yo to school. The au pair is pretty upset as am I.
I have contacted my eldest’s school to ask about an echp. I think longer term she will need a specialist school (they probably both do, but my other child hasn’t been assessed yet - she’s on the waiting list). So an echp will be the first step
Ultimately a residential school may be the best idea.
This morning I had the added complication of my other child age 11 trashing the house in front of the au pair whilst I drove the 14 yo to school. The au pair is pretty upset as am I.
I have contacted my eldest’s school to ask about an echp. I think longer term she will need a specialist school (they probably both do, but my other child hasn’t been assessed yet - she’s on the waiting list). So an echp will be the first step
Ultimately a residential school may be the best idea.
oldbanger said:
This entire half term has been beset by school refusal by my eldest, who seems to be quite fragile. I get the 14 year old to school eventually but I am having to dress her and carry her about, and she lashes out quite a bit. She is taller than I am, although very skinny.
This morning I had the added complication of my other child age 11 trashing the house in front of the au pair whilst I drove the 14 yo to school. The au pair is pretty upset as am I.
I have contacted my eldest’s school to ask about an echp. I think longer term she will need a specialist school (they probably both do, but my other child hasn’t been assessed yet - she’s on the waiting list). So an echp will be the first step
Ultimately a residential school may be the best idea.
Do not delay with the EHCP it is a very useful tool. This morning I had the added complication of my other child age 11 trashing the house in front of the au pair whilst I drove the 14 yo to school. The au pair is pretty upset as am I.
I have contacted my eldest’s school to ask about an echp. I think longer term she will need a specialist school (they probably both do, but my other child hasn’t been assessed yet - she’s on the waiting list). So an echp will be the first step
Ultimately a residential school may be the best idea.
Yes I have contacted the school. No response as yet.
I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
oldbanger said:
Yes I have contacted the school. No response as yet.
I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
Contact your Efucation authority SEN dept and request an EHCP assessment. Don’t rely on school, we made that mistake. I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
I know what you mean about work and appointments, I have the same issue.
oldbanger said:
Yes I have contacted the school. No response as yet.
I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
Contact your Efucation authority SEN dept and request an EHCP assessment. Don’t rely on school, we made that mistake. I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
I know what you mean about work and appointments, I have the same issue.
I haven’t gone for a statement as yet, as life has got in the way.
I wondered how everyone was getting on?
My eldest had a good year, despite some really difficult mornings where I had to dress her and carry her to the car whilst she swung at me.
She has a little friendship group. She got school awards for maths and product design. She was picked out to join a group of promising young designers who got to meet Ian Callum. She had her first commissioned piece - her art is now in display in the local CAHMS office. CAHMS have now signed her off, though she does get support from the School Inclusion Service and that will keep on. She doesn’t pull her hair so much - she’s gone from being almost completely bald when she moved in 3 years ago to having a very stylish and sophisticated full head of hair. You’d never know.
She washes! Without being asked. A very welcome development.
She has developed an interest in clothes, mildly goth or emo. She had branched out from Harry Potter into Manga, Marvel and DC. She went to Comic Con with her friends, in costume, and ended up being featured in the best 50 photos.
She is still very paranoid with very little insight. Blunt to the point she can be really cutting and pulls no punches about how little we do for her, when talking to the school and our relatives. But hey, that’s the inflexibility of aspergers, at least in part.
She is transitioning to GCSEs, so classes will change, they are refurbishing the school and changing the classroom doors (she has been panicking about this since June) and her sister will be joining in year 7 next term ( she is very unhappy about this too). So when she tells me she wants to move away, I see it’s her fear of change talking.
The new term is going to be a challenge I suspect. At least at first.
I wondered how everyone was getting on?
My eldest had a good year, despite some really difficult mornings where I had to dress her and carry her to the car whilst she swung at me.
She has a little friendship group. She got school awards for maths and product design. She was picked out to join a group of promising young designers who got to meet Ian Callum. She had her first commissioned piece - her art is now in display in the local CAHMS office. CAHMS have now signed her off, though she does get support from the School Inclusion Service and that will keep on. She doesn’t pull her hair so much - she’s gone from being almost completely bald when she moved in 3 years ago to having a very stylish and sophisticated full head of hair. You’d never know.
She washes! Without being asked. A very welcome development.
She has developed an interest in clothes, mildly goth or emo. She had branched out from Harry Potter into Manga, Marvel and DC. She went to Comic Con with her friends, in costume, and ended up being featured in the best 50 photos.
She is still very paranoid with very little insight. Blunt to the point she can be really cutting and pulls no punches about how little we do for her, when talking to the school and our relatives. But hey, that’s the inflexibility of aspergers, at least in part.
She is transitioning to GCSEs, so classes will change, they are refurbishing the school and changing the classroom doors (she has been panicking about this since June) and her sister will be joining in year 7 next term ( she is very unhappy about this too). So when she tells me she wants to move away, I see it’s her fear of change talking.
The new term is going to be a challenge I suspect. At least at first.
Oh and she is obsessed with my buying her a £700 Lego millennium falcon at the moment. She has shown no interest in Lego since she was very little and isn’t that into Star Wars (or wasn’t until now). And her birthday was 3 months ago.
If I wasn’t feeling a bit s
te, I would be chuckling my head off.
If I wasn’t feeling a bit s
te, I would be chuckling my head off. It’s my youngest’s first day at secondary school tomorrow. She has been very anxious, not wanting to sleep on her own ( I have been kipping on a camp bed in her room), and making lots of high pitched noises etc during the day.
My mum had emergency surgery just night. We went down to Kent to see her yesterday at short notice as I had an inkling there was something awry. A 7 hour round trip. Things kicked off as we arrived. Thankfully she survived - she was given a 1 in 3 chance of making it through the night . She has been in hospital off and on since May.
Today I feel totally buttered and the kiddo is being rather aggressive (verbally mostly) . I know I mustn’t take it personally but I have had to go take myself into my room and shut the door. It’s been difficult to get things ready and if we both have another restless night then tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck!
My mum had emergency surgery just night. We went down to Kent to see her yesterday at short notice as I had an inkling there was something awry. A 7 hour round trip. Things kicked off as we arrived. Thankfully she survived - she was given a 1 in 3 chance of making it through the night . She has been in hospital off and on since May.
Today I feel totally buttered and the kiddo is being rather aggressive (verbally mostly) . I know I mustn’t take it personally but I have had to go take myself into my room and shut the door. It’s been difficult to get things ready and if we both have another restless night then tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck!
oldbanger said:
It’s my youngest’s first day at secondary school tomorrow. She has been very anxious, not wanting to sleep on her own ( I have been kipping on a camp bed in her room), and making lots of high pitched noises etc during the day.
My mum had emergency surgery just night. We went down to Kent to see her yesterday at short notice as I had an inkling there was something awry. A 7 hour round trip. Things kicked off as we arrived. Thankfully she survived - she was given a 1 in 3 chance of making it through the night . She has been in hospital off and on since May.
Today I feel totally buttered and the kiddo is being rather aggressive (verbally mostly) . I know I mustn’t take it personally but I have had to go take myself into my room and shut the door. It’s been difficult to get things ready and if we both have another restless night then tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck!
wish you luck oldbanger. hang in there. positive thoughts and wishes in your direction.My mum had emergency surgery just night. We went down to Kent to see her yesterday at short notice as I had an inkling there was something awry. A 7 hour round trip. Things kicked off as we arrived. Thankfully she survived - she was given a 1 in 3 chance of making it through the night . She has been in hospital off and on since May.
Today I feel totally buttered and the kiddo is being rather aggressive (verbally mostly) . I know I mustn’t take it personally but I have had to go take myself into my room and shut the door. It’s been difficult to get things ready and if we both have another restless night then tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck!
oldbanger said:
It’s my youngest’s first day at secondary school tomorrow. She has been very anxious, not wanting to sleep on her own ( I have been kipping on a camp bed in her room), and making lots of high pitched noises etc during the day.
My mum had emergency surgery just night. We went down to Kent to see her yesterday at short notice as I had an inkling there was something awry. A 7 hour round trip. Things kicked off as we arrived. Thankfully she survived - she was given a 1 in 3 chance of making it through the night . She has been in hospital off and on since May.
Today I feel totally buttered and the kiddo is being rather aggressive (verbally mostly) . I know I mustn’t take it personally but I have had to go take myself into my room and shut the door. It’s been difficult to get things ready and if we both have another restless night then tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck!
Good luck ! - you've done really well so far, hopefully life will gradually improve.My mum had emergency surgery just night. We went down to Kent to see her yesterday at short notice as I had an inkling there was something awry. A 7 hour round trip. Things kicked off as we arrived. Thankfully she survived - she was given a 1 in 3 chance of making it through the night . She has been in hospital off and on since May.
Today I feel totally buttered and the kiddo is being rather aggressive (verbally mostly) . I know I mustn’t take it personally but I have had to go take myself into my room and shut the door. It’s been difficult to get things ready and if we both have another restless night then tomorrow is going to be tough. Wish me luck!
Another night sleeping on a camp bed but the kiddo was duly despatched to secondary school without major incident. Well, aside from me triggering the immobiliser on the Eunos and locking myself in the car when I dropped her off. One of the teachers had to help me unlock the drivers door from the outside (doh).
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