Anxiety the return

[5potTurbo]

944fan: you say that about your yellow puss filled finger, but we know, we know....

Stomach problems? Gurgling?
I suffer from IBS.
I'm taking Duspatalin every day. It was a request for a repeat scrip that led my GP to ask me to come in and see him before Christmas. I'll bet he wished he hadn't now.

Anywhooo, I started C25K in Sat...I couldn't fking walk yesterday without oohing and aahing! I was out this morning in the pissing rain, again, though.

944fan: you see, saying "I'm the only one who can....", is part of the creation of anxiety. I must stop doing that myself. It causes sleep loss and increases the side effects.
That was part of my conversation with my boss last Fri, saying 'no' to stuff, and she completely understood. She wants me to take 2 weeks sick so I don't go off for months if I don't, so understanding and preventative!

[944fan]

I'm getting fking sick of this now. I'm off ill today due my highly amusing finger episode, the antibiotics have given me a right dicky tummy, been up most of the night with Montezuma's revenge. Got an arse like the fukcing bonanza map now.

Anyway that's not what I am sick of. Whilst off sick, I get the usual fking work phone call, massive bking cause a client has the hump because we have bneen a bit slow on our of our systems has a "couple" of bugs. That has set me right off, feel like utter st again.

T is having no impact so far.

I'm doing what self help I can. No booze, eating well, exercising etc.

Going to give it a month on the T and either it will work or I will have to go back to the GP for something else.

What's peoples experience with CBT? When I had counselling last year it was with a talking therapies counsellor. He wasn't that sold on CBT and said it was very hard work and a lot of people it fails for because they don't do the tasks they have been set.

[Patch1875]

944fan said:

I'm getting fking sick of this now. I'm off ill today due my highly amusing finger episode, the antibiotics have given me a right dicky tummy, been up most of the night with Montezuma's revenge. Got an arse like the fukcing bonanza map now.

Anyway that's not what I am sick of. Whilst off sick, I get the usual fking work phone call, massive bking cause a client has the hump because we have bneen a bit slow on our of our systems has a "couple" of bugs. That has set me right off, feel like utter st again.

T is having no impact so far.

I'm doing what self help I can. No booze, eating well, exercising etc.

Going to give it a month on the T and either it will work or I will have to go back to the GP for something else.

What's peoples experience with CBT? When I had counselling last year it was with a talking therapies counsellor. He wasn't that sold on CBT and said it was very hard work and a lot of people it fails for because they don't do the tasks they have been set.

Nightmare mate, remember your dodgy finger is just that nowt to do with anything else. I would phone your docs they will give you different antibiotic to use if it's not agreeing with you.

I gave up CBT after 3 sessions just wasn't for me. Hard to explain but it felt like being back at school I'm not very good at being told what to do but the big thing for me is they tell you what your mind should be doing when anxiety kicks in but don't tell how to do it! dont know if it's all the same but it was my health anxiety was treated like a court case listing my proof about my health and then the supposed fact against my thoughts and that's what I was supposed to focus on.

[944fan]

Finger is cleared up and and I have finished the anti-bs yesterday so hopefully that is the end of that.

Interesting what you say about CBT. Similar to what I found with the normal counselling. We explored the way I feel and how I react to things and then looked at my upbringing etc to see why I was like that. When we got to the end it was kind of like "you feel like this,because of this" but with no guidance on how to change it. In some ways it was helpful to see how and why I do react in a certain way, but I know that now and still react so obviously need some other way of changing my thoughts.

All I seem to have done so far with SSRIs/Counselling/T/Self help is to try and "deal" with the problem rather than solve it.

[Patch1875]

I've also had a session of ACT which is pretty similar to CBT but tackles it more head on accepting your issues but Trying to limit the time that you have them in your head again easier said than done.

It's all pretty frustrating but like I said further up I've only had issues for the last couple of months which came along pretty suddenly, for me it's been fairly easy just to ditch everything meds and counselling and just look at myself in the mirror and realise that I can beat all this st. My health is still not right and I'm getting further tests on my stomach maybe it has all been in my head or maybe I have got a medical problem time will tell once the results come through.

I do feel much better and at the moment I'm pretty pleased with myself with what I've done I couldn't get my head round being on the ssri's for 6 months and also couldn't grasp what they actually done to my body to make it all better.

Hopefully your t treatment helps what time scale did the doc say for them to start having an effect?

[944fan]

Patch1875 said:

Hopefully your t treatment helps what time scale did the doc say for them to start having an effect?

The doc didn't really give an indication as she didn't really want to prescribe it. She was a bit of a know it all and quite dismissive of the whole thing.

According to the Internet (!) it is usually a couple of weeks before people notice a difference but can bet 4-6 weeks.

[944fan]

Really feeling quite fking terrible today. Yesterday I felt like I had some control back and started to feel a bit like I could beat this. I woke early this morning, thought it was Sunday. When I realised it was Monday I felt like life just drained from me like a wave.

I felt so close to going to the Dr and asking to be signed off. Just really not sure that is going to help. Stuff wont get done when I'm not here and I know I will just come back to the same pile of crap, only worse. Plus the s I work with wont leave me alone and will be phoning and emailing.

I'm going to get back into training and might enter an triathlon. I didn't want to do anything like that this year as I thought it would put extra pressure on me. But actually I think it will give me something else to occupy my mind plus will get me off my arse doing something rather than sitting around feeling sorry for myself hoping things will get better. Not going to put any pressure as I must do it in X time. Just going to get round the course and enjoy myself.

I do want my kids to see me sitting round looking gloomy. Want to make them proud and get up off the floor and do something and have fun.

I thought about taking Friday off, turning all phones off and going and doing something. My wife is having a bit of a bad time also with what she is doing and would feel guilty suiting myself. Guess I could take another day off and take the kids to school and out after school and let me wife have a different day to herself.

[Willy Nilly]

Don't forget it's the worst time of the year at the moment, Blue Monday and all that crap.

Have a read of this http://www.tortoiseshellproject.com/

[Patch1875]

944fan said:

Really feeling quite fking terrible today. Yesterday I felt like I had some control back and started to feel a bit like I could beat this. I woke early this morning, thought it was Sunday. When I realised it was Monday I felt like life just drained from me like a wave.

I felt so close to going to the Dr and asking to be signed off. Just really not sure that is going to help. Stuff wont get done when I'm not here and I know I will just come back to the same pile of crap, only worse. Plus the s I work with wont leave me alone and will be phoning and emailing.

I'm going to get back into training and might enter an triathlon. I didn't want to do anything like that this year as I thought it would put extra pressure on me. But actually I think it will give me something else to occupy my mind plus will get me off my arse doing something rather than sitting around feeling sorry for myself hoping things will get better. Not going to put any pressure as I must do it in X time. Just going to get round the course and enjoy myself.

I do want my kids to see me sitting round looking gloomy. Want to make them proud and get up off the floor and do something and have fun.

I thought about taking Friday off, turning all phones off and going and doing something. My wife is having a bit of a bad time also with what she is doing and would feel guilty suiting myself. Guess I could take another day off and take the kids to school and out after school and let me wife have a different day to herself.

Hope your having a better day today mate, sounds like you need a break from work you got a holiday with the family booked? might help having something to look forward to.

[944fan]

Patch1875 said:

Hope your having a better day today mate, sounds like you need a break from work you got a holiday with the family booked? might help having something to look forward to.

Last couple of days have felt a little better. I drag myself out of ed yesterday and went for a swim. Felt a lot better for it. Reminded me how when I am swimming and focusing on that my anxiety goes for that hour.

I've booked tomorrow off, booked a massage. I'm leaving my Blueberry at work and I have warned anyone that if they try and phone me they are in deep st.

[oldbanger]

it's probably a silly suggestion but I got a CD book by pema chodron for christmas which I listened to on the way to and from work. I've lent it to the OH and have really missed it - I found it quite relaxing and uplifting. So I've got another "motivational" CD to see if that works. There's at least some evidence that positive affirmations can help to deal with anxiety.

Another thing which sounds kooky is posture - there have been some recent studies showing that holding yourself in dominant postures lowers cortisol, reducing anxiety. e.g. see https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_lang...

[5potTurbo]

As I'd been signed off for 2 weeks, I went skiing last weekend with a mate. We had a great time and it was just what I needed.

C25K has taken a back seat already, but only due to snow on the ground, so I've been doing lots of walking instead. It's also been very nice to have dinner together with my daughters so often. Usually by the time I get home from work they're getting ready for bed, so we don't have much interaction. I did, however, have to explain to them why I wasn't at work, which wasn't easy.

In short, excercise and being off work for 2 weeks has helped, and I'll be going back to work on Monday. We've had a lot of changes in recent weeks, so let's see how I go.....

[944fan]

Glad the time off has helped. I took Friday off and did what I wanted, went for a swim, sat in the sauna, had a massage felt so much better for it. Left my Blueberry at work and told my colleagues that if anyone phones e they will regret it.

Saturday was good but felt crap today.

[Monty Python]

I think you need to find a less stressful job.

[944fan]

Monty Python said:

I think you need to find a less stressful job.

Its an interesting point of view. Is my job too stressful or am I just crap at dealing with the stress?

I find dealing with difficult people hard. I get angry and just have to say nothing or walk away before blowing my top. A lot of the anxiety comes from fearing these confrontations, whether with clients or colleagues.

I'm quite senior and its not about fearing those above me, but everyone.

[5potTurbo]

Are there really stressless jobs out there?

I've a lot of mates from school who had their own businesses and stuff, and jacked it in to become....... TAXI drivers! Given that my hometown's Bormuff, the traffic's terrible for the town's size (although it's rather a conurbation now), I think I'd find driving all day stressful too!

Like 944fan, I'm quite senior at work. That said, even if our CEO or Chairman were to F.O., the company would survive, and that's rather how I've been looking at things. That and, "It's not MY fking problem!"

944fan: dodgy, puss-filled finger aside (how is that by the way?.... I'll go and check *that* thread!) , I think it's more a case of mental chamical issues. We need to learn how to deal with the stress, not to avoid it. I'm generally good with people, but 2 weeks ago, if someone had pissed me off, I'd have called them a and told them to fk off. I'm not *quite* that bad today after 2 weeks out

As people, I think when you're in a stressful role, you do need time to yourself, whether walking, swimming, running, cycling - stuff you enjoy doing, to help those seratonin levels?

Thoughts?

[Monty Python]

5potTurbo said:

Are there really stressless jobs out there?

I've a lot of mates from school who had their own businesses and stuff, and jacked it in to become....... TAXI drivers! Given that my hometown's Bormuff, the traffic's terrible for the town's size (although it's rather a conurbation now), I think I'd find driving all day stressful too!

Like 944fan, I'm quite senior at work. That said, even if our CEO or Chairman were to F.O., the company would survive, and that's rather how I've been looking at things. That and, "It's not MY fking problem!"

944fan: dodgy, puss-filled finger aside (how is that by the way?.... I'll go and check *that* thread!) , I think it's more a case of mental chamical issues. We need to learn how to deal with the stress, not to avoid it. I'm generally good with people, but 2 weeks ago, if someone had pissed me off, I'd have called them a and told them to fk off. I'm not *quite* that bad today after 2 weeks out

As people, I think when you're in a stressful role, you do need time to yourself, whether walking, swimming, running, cycling - stuff you enjoy doing, to help those seratonin levels?

Thoughts?

I have to count myself lucky in that my job carries very little stress - the people I work with are (on the whole) a pretty good bunch and I'm at the top of my work level and my "expertise" means I'm given quite a bit of leeway to do things that aren't in my targets. My line manager is great and the job itself isn't very demanding and I enjoy it (most of the time).

At the end of the day it's probably one the "grass is always greener" situations - you change jobs thinking it can't be any worse and it turns out to be just that. What company do you work for and where?

[944fan]

5potTurbo said:

Are there really stressless jobs out there?

I've a lot of mates from school who had their own businesses and stuff, and jacked it in to become....... TAXI drivers! Given that my hometown's Bormuff, the traffic's terrible for the town's size (although it's rather a conurbation now), I think I'd find driving all day stressful too!

Like 944fan, I'm quite senior at work. That said, even if our CEO or Chairman were to F.O., the company would survive, and that's rather how I've been looking at things. That and, "It's not MY fking problem!"

944fan: dodgy, puss-filled finger aside (how is that by the way?.... I'll go and check *that* thread!) , I think it's more a case of mental chamical issues. We need to learn how to deal with the stress, not to avoid it. I'm generally good with people, but 2 weeks ago, if someone had pissed me off, I'd have called them a and told them to fk off. I'm not *quite* that bad today after 2 weeks out

As people, I think when you're in a stressful role, you do need time to yourself, whether walking, swimming, running, cycling - stuff you enjoy doing, to help those seratonin levels?

Thoughts?

It is difficult. I think part of the reason I have been able to rise to the level I am at, and earn what I do is because I care. I care about the job I do, how the company does etc etc. The downside is that because I care I carry the burden with me.

The finger is fine now, despite the dodgy advice received from "so called" Drs!

I think my job could be less stressful. It annoys me when I look round at others at a similar level and they dont seem to have any stress at all. Maybe they are better at dealing with it.

I feel like I am starting to feel a little better. The exercising is helping I think.

[Monty Python]

It's a common problem - the further up the food chain you go the more s*** you get. When you're at the bottom you only get s*** from above. Move to the next level and you get s*** from both directions. There's a lot to be said for not climbing too far up the ladder - just far enough to see what's above the parapet is good enough for me.

[5potTurbo]

Monty Python: I work in financial services, based in Luxembourg, but I travel all over the world. More than that I'm not going to divulge.

944fan: Like you, I love my job, I care about what happens, and I care about my team, too. We're not youngsters. I'm almost 46, some of my team are mid-late 50s, the youngest is a woman of 37.
You do, all joking apart, need to have a "fk it!" attitude sometimes. My peer isn't stressed at all as "everything will be alright", but it fks off everyone who works for him, certainly. I'm just not like that. My team all say I'm a great manager, although it's backfired on my health of course!
Being very involved fking 'kills me' sometimes. I joked in an earlier post, but you have to look after #1. No-one else will.
(I'm also very fotrunate that my boss could see I was on the verge of saying, "fk this st!" and walking out. With hindsight, that would have been a stupid thing to do, but it's how I was that day.)

I went out running last night and felt much better for it, so I'll make sure I do the same tonight, too.

I'm please your puss finger's better, mate!

Get out and do some more exercise. It's what's helping me. Well, than and gin.... "Dranuary" fked off VERY quickly!