I'm mentally broken

[funkyrobot]

Thanks Andy.

I'm leaving it straight and true. No more chats, meetings, nothing. I have done all I wanted to (as the meeting I just had was planned last week), and it has just confirmed everything.

Time to crack on, work the notice and move on.

Edited to add - just spoke to my fiancee. She is more concerned with my health and wellbeing than any of the bills and finances. She just wants me to be happy. I have her blessing, which is lovely.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks.

I'm currently learning so much about these situations. Interesting how you really do learn when things go bad.

[funkyrobot]

crazy about cars said:

We are in a similar position and I believe almost similar job roles too OP. Although for me there might be threat of impending redundancy hence the anxiety. It's hard to get any support for this at work (I had to take holidays during days when I'm really affected) as it will risk my job even further so it's definitely frustrating.

I find it helpful to share so if you want pop by the depression thread : http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

How are you getting on?

[funkyrobot]

I'm doing ok thanks.

I never did resign. I was ready to it and approached HR with my resignation in hand. I couldn't speak to them at that point, so went out for some lunch. As I was at lunch, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do. Throwing the towel in would have been good, but I don't want to have no job whilst attempting to find a job. So, in the end, I didn't hand the letter in and didn't go through with it.

However, what I did do was change my mindset to one that means I'm not taking things to heart in my current role anymore. I'm actively looking for something else whilst seeing this job out. Incidentally, I have an interview for a different job next week. Will see how that goes.

Nothing has really changed in my current role, apart from me not really caring so much anymore.

I may have an exit plan after next week. Let's see how it goes.

[funkyrobot]

Some of you may wonder why I have stayed. Well, I don't want to eat into my rainy day fund unless I really, really have to. I also thought it better to try and move from one job to anther so my earnings aren't affected. Being the sole income generator in my household makes you think like that.

What I did have to do though was make it clear to myself that I'm only seeing things out here. I couldn't let myself get comfortable and just drop back into the habit of putting up with rubbish in my current job. So, I decided I would laugh at the silliness that surrounds me on a daily basis, actually question my manager and not allow him to bully me, and also take the time to find something else decent.

I still don't like my current job, but now I treat it as a job and nothing else. I don't worry so much because I know I can walk tomorrow if I choose to. Also, it wouldn't be right to just leave. I need to let my manager know that he doesn't own me.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks. Hope you can find a way out at some point.

Yes, it's still terrible here. But I'm really beyond caring.

Have next week off too so the interview is well timed.

[funkyrobot]

Had interview. Went well and was very positive. Should find out this week if I have the job or not.

In the meantime, I have now finally had enough of the current job and am leaving. Had a good long think over last week and decided I don't want to be somewhere where I don't care. Also, fed up with the daily grind down the A17 so I've bailed. As discussed previously, I feel that I need a good month or so off. Will be taking some time as I hunt for something else.

Thanks for the advice all.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks Derek.

I have a few weeks off, then when I head back to work I'm quitting. Will be interesting as I think a certain someone will want to sit me down in a room again and call me a naughty boy.

Hitting the agencies this week. Will look at temp stuff. My fiancée has decided that she wants to go back to work soon. We thought that with two jobs, even if they pay less we should be ok. The key is to be local so we can ditch one of the cars.

[funkyrobot]

Have been informed today that I have another interview at a different place on Thursday. It's less money, but is only a few miles away. It's purely an IT engineer position so could be a very good learning experience.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks.

Spoke the a local agency in detail yesterday and simply said tell me everything you have that is local (temporary and permanent). If I don't need to drive, I can take less money. My fiancée is willing to return to work now, so that helps.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks. I guess learning and accepting the way people can be helps a lot.

Interview this afternoon at one local place. I also found out yesterday afternoon that the company I went to see last week wants to meet me again next Tuesday. Second interview which is apparently going to be a meet the team/factory tour. I guess they want to see if I gel with people.

Still slowly unwinding from everything, and have daily headaches at the moment. Slept really well last night though; first time in ages. The break is doing me good, so is the positive frame of mind I currently have. Yes, there are niggling doubts at the back about leaving the current job, having nothing to go to etc. However, the recent interview opportunities and a chat with the agency about temping have given me a bit of a positive boost.

We'll see what the next few days bring.

[funkyrobot]

[funkyrobot]

I've just been offered a job that is around the corner from my house. Same money as the current job.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks.

Had a phone call off the current company HR woman earlier. She just wanted to check up and see how I was. Said that if I want to talk about my current work issues, I can go in and have a chat. She also wanted to confirm if i will be ok to return to work as planned next Tuesday (doc signed me off for two weeks this time).

She mentioned the fact that she knows my issue is based on the setup with my manager. I think she wants me to speak more openly with her about things. Oh well. I'll go and see her over the next few days when my potential new employer writes the job offer on paper.

She is my reference for the current company, so it will be good to inform her of things.

My manager is currently away on a business trip until next Wednesday. I wonder how quick he will want me out of the door when I hand my notice in.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks.

Will do.

I'm just going to keep the interview to the point and factual. I'm not letting any emotion or negativity get in the way. At the end of the day, they need the constructive feedback for their records.

I am not going to let any negativity anywhere near the new role. It's a completely different company and a different setup. I'm going to be part of a team doing system support.

I'm just awaiting the offer in writing which should come over tomorrow or Thursday. I then need to get it to the current job HR lady before Friday as she is off for a week. Don't want to delay anything.

I have a glass of Balvenie calling me.

[funkyrobot]

Vaud said:

Get a few days off as well. Switch phone off. Ho for a long walk...

I'm currently signed off until Tuesday, so have had some lovely time with my family. I think I should have some leave left to take before I depart too.

My only concern at the moment is my time off affecting my reference. However, I don't think that can be used in a way that affects me. Also, the HR lady seems like one of the few nice people at my current place. I think she will be fine with everything.

[funkyrobot]

Great stuff Havoc.

I still have my grey hairs too.

Just going through the motions now. Awaiting a written confirmation from the new employer (which should come through today), then I'm off to the current one with my resignation letter.

[funkyrobot]

And that, they say, is that!

Offer of new job signed and returned. Resignation letter handed over to current job HR Manager this morning (whilst discussing my return to work next week).

Very constructive, un-emotional feedback given. HR lady looked like she wanted to cry and was shocked I am resigning. Asked if there is anything she can do. I said no as it's a small business and the role is what it is, and I can't see them changing my manager. Details have now gone off to the MD, so we will see what he says.

It feels like a massive, massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I have already had comments today that I seem to be back to my joyful, happy old self. Let's hope that is the end of it and I am now in a positive frame of mind, rather than a negative one.

I'm not taking any negativity from the old role to the new. However, I do need to try some therapy stuff (which has been kindly posted in this thread by others) to make my mental state stronger. If I find things difficult in the new role, I need to be able to better process things and not get so down. The work for me is far from finished in terms of my mental health, but a massive cause of my symptoms has been fixed.

Thanks again all.

[funkyrobot]

Thanks. I do too.

HR from the current job rang me this morning and asked if I'm happy to pop back in on Wednesday. They want me to do a handover, return any equipment, then bugger off for my notice period. They said they will pay me and also pay for any outstanding leave etc. Wow, what a result.

I think this stems from the fact that I asked them to forbid my manager from any further one to one meetings with me. Due to his attitude and bullying nature, I told them that I cannot sit alone with him in a room anymore.

[funkyrobot]

Indeed. It's perfect gardening leave weather.

Thanks.