Child Psychologist?

[Fastchas]

Anyone ever had to use the service of a child psychologist? Is that the right term?
My ex-wife and I broke up 5 years ago when she had an affair. I refused to move out of the marital home (which I bought and refurb'd before I met her) so she eventually moved out. Our 2 children are 11 and 6 now. She has just moved house again, this is her third move since the split and has moved into a 1st floor flat. I sold the family home in June 2014 and used the equity to purchase my next home, something she didn't do, ploughing her cash into a shop-based business.
The relationship between the 11yo and me has been damaged (he's always been a mummy's boy, not weedy but more attached to her). We fight a lot, his attitude to me hurts and he now spends one more night a week at her house. We originally had 50/50 custody each before he decided to stay there the extra night, without any consultation from me.
The 6yo has always been more 'me', coming to me when he needs cuddles and reassurance but has recently made noises of staying at his mums more, probably because his big brother is there, who he adores.
Last night, I had a text from the ex, saying the 6yo has developed some kind of eye tic, where the eyes both look over to the side for a second (her words), and she googled it and is concerned it could be some kind of stress related issue. We have just recently been called into school about his behaviour, being rude to teacher and pushy to other kids. His birthday is in September so he's probably a fair bit older than many of his classmates. No excuses, but he could be more assertive than them.

I was thinking of seeing some professional about our problems, where would I go to be referred? The ex blames me because of the fractured relationship between my 11yo and myself, saying the 6yo is in the middle and it's affecting him.
I would prefer to not ask the school if possible.

[N Dentressangle]

Your GP would be a good place to start, I would say.

[lunarscope]

It may be worth having a chat with your local CAMHS organisation. They dealt with my Son when he was having problems.

[TartanPaint]

I don't know what answer you expect other than, "Stop asking motoring enthusiasts and take him to a bloomin' doctor", but I know sometimes you just need to batter thoughts down on a keyboard to get your head around a problem, so glad PH is here to facilitate that.

Now, go take the lad to the doctor.

[Munter]

N Dentressangle said:

Your GP would be a good place to start, I would say.

That. The kid could simply have a squint that he's managed to cope with up to now. Mine wasn't noticed until I started primary school.

[Fastchas]

TartanPaint said:

I don't know what answer you expect other than, "Stop asking motoring enthusiasts and take him to a bloomin' doctor", but I know sometimes you just need to batter thoughts down on a keyboard to get your head around a problem, so glad PH is here to facilitate that.

Now, go take the lad to the doctor.

Yeah, the DR's will be the first place to start and I'll book an appt to rule out anything physically affecting him, but I was thinking of seeing someone about me and the 11yo as well.

[C0ffin D0dger]

lunarscope said:

It may be worth having a chat with your local CAMHS organisation. They dealt with my Son when he was having problems.

Generally you'd need a referral from your GP first (my missus used to work in CAMHS, they did great stuff but massively overworked and underpaid, good old NHS).

[stuartmmcfc]

Unfortunately they are very overworked at the moment and as we are finding out, literally in the last 2 weeks, unless there is self harm nvolved, then the "case" is not very high on their priorities. The good news is that, once you see a GP, if there is some mental health problems involved then there are agencies who will help.

[tobeee]

My son developed a tic at 6 years too. Came overnight, just as Summer hols started, and I was devastated for him. Doc said to monitor for a few months, and stressed that it could be stress related, and drawing his attention to it was something to avoid. In our case, no divorce or such like, so we assumed heavy school work might have been the cause, and promptly went on holiday! The rest and distraction certainly helped, and his tic eased a lot, but every few weeks there'd be something new (wrinkling the nose or other facial stuff). A year on and still doing it a bit, but hardly at all and so we're comfortable ignoring it. So, although almost impossible, the best you can do for now is to try and ignore it! At 6 years old, none of his friends will notice it at all, which had been one of my concerns.

I'm not a doctor, so don't take all this rambling as a diagnosis, but hope it helps!

[Fastchas]

I had the two boys last night so I watched the 6yo and his eyes. Best way to describe it is as if he has sticky eyes and looks high to the left to unstick them. He's doing this every couple of minutes and it really has come on suddenly. I've not noticed this before, and had them both Monday and Tuesday night.
He's seeing the Dr next week but it looks more like a habit he's picked up.