My mojo has gone.

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Fermit The Krog and Sarah Sexy

12,787 posts

99 months

Monday 13th June 2016
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lurky said:
Just a short update (you'll be relieved to hear). Several weeks' use of Buspirone at 45mg/day has proved it does little for me - it doesn't help everyone.

I'm awaiting my first counselling appointment with Mind and it's back to the doc on Friday.

I don't know what options he'll offer (if any).

Meanwhile, I'm still being avoidance, though I've kept up with the rifle shooting.

I suppose time will tell.
Hang in there. Dealing with anxiety/depression takes time, sometimes months, sometimes years, but you shall get there.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Saturday 18th June 2016
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I tried Buspar/Buspirone for a few weeks, up to a dose of 45mg per day. It gave me tiredness, headache and dizziness as regular as clockwork 30 mins after taking it. These side effects would go after an hour or so. However, the only upside was a slight lifting of my mood; as would be expected of a serotonergic compound. The anxiety relief, if present, was minimal.

Today, the GP wouldn't prescribe what I was considering, despite my having been on it for 6 months in 2014.

This, Venlafaxine, is an SSRI antidepressant that was given FDA clearance for the treatment of GAD, panic disorder and social phobia in the US after it came out in 1993.

The doc was concerned about its being associated with arrhythmia. He wants the cardiologist 's opinion. He also said the drug isn't much used nowadays, Mirtazapine is favoured. Been there, tried it...it was very sedating indeed.

The GP who prescribed Buspirone made it an agreed short-term trial and said, 'Consider options if ineffective'. Today, as I expected, it was concluded there were no other options.

I now have a wait (until the 11th August) until I can see a cardiologist again.

In the meantime, I still await a first appointment with Mind.

When taking Venlafaxine and I used to be able to do a 180-mile round trip to see a band with my best mate - I'd also been able to do the same distance, stay over and work on the classic car he's restoring. All this was before the triple whammy of the unexplained collapse, the atrial fibrillation and the car crash. Can't handle such trips now.

I've been doing maladaptive coping for four and a half months now. Life consists of two shopping trips, two evenings shooting the target rifle, some TV watching and lots of sleeping. This is per week. My mate's visited twice and I've assisted at two guest nights at the shooting club.

The new car's just displayed 400 miles...haven't been on any trips, just local stuff. It's sad, driving was my passion for 40+ years. It's proving immensely difficult to get my confidence back in this respect and in several other ways.

My quality if life is decidedly low now. At this point, I'm badly restricted and not at all sure what to do.

67Dino

3,581 posts

104 months

Saturday 18th June 2016
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Thanks for posting, Lurky. Sorry to hear things continue to be tough for you, so just wanted you to know there's PHers out there thinking of you and wishing you well.

Appreciate have mentioned the subject before, but if you fancy something to read that might help whilst stuck at home, can wholeheartedly recommend Ed Halliwell's new book 'To the heart of Mindfulness'. Ed talks about his own challenges and how the technique helped him, so thought might be useful. Just an idea.

'This too will pass', so keep positive. All the best.

Edited by 67Dino on Saturday 18th June 04:55

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Saturday 18th June 2016
quotequote all
67Dino said:
Thanks for posting, Lurky. Sorry to hear things continue to be tough for you, so just wanted you to know there's PHers out there thinking of you and wishing you well.

Appreciate have mentioned the subject before, but if you fancy something to read that might help whilst stuck at home, can wholeheartedly recommend Ed Halliwell's new book 'To the heart of Mindfulness'. Ed talks about his own challenges and how the technique helped him, so thought might be useful. Just an idea.

'This too will pass', so keep positive. All the best.

Edited by 67Dino on Saturday 18th June 04:55
Thanks 67Dino,

It's nice to know there are people rooting for me. I spoke to my best mate and my brother...everyone's been sympathetic and supportive. I,ll be investigating the Halliwell book later.

For now, I can confirm that Buspirone withdrawal effects exist. That's odd with a half life of just 2 to 3 hours. Sleep eluded me for much of last night and I've been nodding off today. Also had some dizziness and a short spell of nausea...gone now. It's not surprising given it's a psychotropic drug that works on the serotonin receptors. Apparently, it only works for 'select' patients, whatever that means?

As you say, this will pass - if I don't firstsmile

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Monday 4th July 2016
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Another little update as life grinds on. My first appointment with Mind came through and was cancelled ( the counsellor was ill). They can, however offer me CBT input. This takes two assessment sessions before it begins. The first should be on Friday.

Meanwhile, I've an appointment with the cardiologist on the 11th August. Before that, I'll be wearing a Holter monitor for 24hrs, beginning 28th July. Something happening in the right order at last!

Just seen my GP and he's offering Risperidone, after I revealed that the anxiety makes it like being under house arrest.

He wants me to research this drug and let me know if I'd like him to prescribe. There are upsides to having a part - medical background.

Any experience with it anyone? Thanks.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Monday 15th August 2016
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Having at last recalled my password, I can update.

I tried risperidone but it didn't help. It gave me insomnia, dizziness and raised my anxiety level markedly. So I've stopped it and have been putting up with a withdrawal symptom - spells of nausea.

I wore a Holter monitor for 24 hrs - nothing more than insignificant ectopic beats recorded. The cardio was very good...an AV ablation isn't indicated. He thinks my problem is down to phobic anxiety and suggests CBT.

Meanwhile, I'm to go back on Venlafaxine, which I've had before. Also, counselling with Mind is ongoing and I've a second CBT assessment shortly.

I'm still being avoidant and my confidence is still bad (esp when driving).

On the rocks and v. Unhappy. It's late.

Note to self...password is 'cheap digital brand'.

Edited by lurky on Monday 15th August 02:03

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Wednesday 17th August 2016
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Just to make life harder, my CBTassessment appointment has been cancelled as the contact is ill. This has come on top of the cardio's letter not having made it to the docs yet. No Venlafaxine for me yet.
It must be because it's 2016. These things keep happening!

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Thursday 18th August 2016
quotequote all
Just a quick bump.

It turns out that nausea and increased anxiety are both side effects and withdrawal effects of risperidone. So, at day 11 of being off it, I've had two days of feeling sick and panicky.

I've checked that the cardio ' s letter is with the doc and that Venlafaxine is a stock drug. Hope it works for me...again.

Seeing doc at 5.50 tomorrow.

Sticks.

8,708 posts

250 months

Thursday 18th August 2016
quotequote all
lurky said:
Just to make life harder, my CBTassessment appointment has been cancelled as the contact is ill. This has come on top of the cardio's letter not having made it to the docs yet. No Venlafaxine for me yet.
It must be because it's 2016. These things keep happening!
I'm afraid that's not that unusual with anything to do with health care. I just took two weeks and 3 trips to get a 4 item repeat prescription sorted. And having been told my ortho insoles will be 'a few weeks yet', after a few weeks they then realise they hadn't ordered them FFS.

Just keep at it, you'll get there.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Thursday 18th August 2016
quotequote all
Sticks. said:
I'm afraid that's not that unusual with anything to do with health care. I just took two weeks and 3 trips to get a 4 item repeat prescription sorted. And having been told my ortho insoles will be 'a few weeks yet', after a few weeks they then realise they hadn't ordered them FFS.

Just keep at it, you'll get there.
Yep, it's an unfortunate combination of circumstances. Pity it put me in a difficult situation.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Sunday 21st August 2016
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Well, I got the Venlafaxine, 37.5mg modified release, one a day. It's now a matter of getting past the starting side effects - tiredness, hot spells and nausea This takes 10 to 14 days (on day 3 now) efficacy in 3 to 4 weeks.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Thursday 25th August 2016
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Well, after a week coming off the risperidone, it's day 6 on a Venlafaxine...too early for efficacy yet but the side effects seem to be lessening.

I found out this morning that I'm being offered CBT for my anxiety. Apparently, the waiting list isn't too long.

Edited by lurky on Thursday 25th August 16:46

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Monday 29th August 2016
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Life,of a sort, goes as I wait for the Venlafaxine to kick in (it's day 10 on it). Still no positive effect as yet but the side effects aren't too bad.

Friday was terrible though. I went to my divorce case conference at noon. I'd had a huge panic attack outside and had to do my best during the hour - long meeting. I had palpitations and tachycardia and I'll never know how I managed. When I returned home around 2, the palps were still going on and my heart rate was 116.
I took 2mg Valium (I'd had 1mg at 11) and went to sleep. Things didn't settle down until after 6pm.

I've been recovering since. It's said the Venlafaxine should start working about 2 weeks in...could be sooner.

I should get notification of a CBT appointment this week. God knows it's needed.

bigkeeko

1,370 posts

142 months

Monday 29th August 2016
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Lurky. Just read through your first post dated May 30th. Big old list of st to be fair and the first thing I thought of (and I`m no expert either btw) was this. Opening up and telling people how you REALLY feel relieves a bit of pressure, even if it is to anonymous guys on the net. There are loads of mickey takers on here, and I`ve done it myself but there are times when it won't do. ie; your situation.
I was thinking. Who is your best friend? Reason I ask is they may well know more or less your current situation but like most humans it's in one ear and out the other as we all have our own little agendas.
If you showed him/her exactly what you have written on May the 30th it may lighten the load man. Sympathy isn't your goal here it's getting back on track and even banging your script on here is going the right way mate.
For what it's worth my mum died young and so did her dad (my grandfather). I more or less condemned myself to the same fate but that's not how it works or plays out in real life. When I overthought things I found distraction was the key and way out. Any old ste. I took up some fked up hobbies I can tell you. laugh

Stick in. You`ll come good.

Edited by bigkeeko on Monday 29th August 23:48

castex

4,935 posts

272 months

Monday 29th August 2016
quotequote all
Be strong Lurky, and when you cannot just know that we're thinking of you.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Tuesday 30th August 2016
quotequote all
bigkeeko said:
Lurky. Just read through your first post dated May 30th. Big old list of st to be fair and the first thing I thought of (and I`m no expert either btw) was this. Opening up and telling people how you REALLY feel relieves a bit of pressure, even if it is to anonymous guys on the net. There are loads of mickey takers on here, and I`ve done it myself but there are times when it won't do. ie; your situation.
I was thinking. Who is your best friend? Reason I ask is they may well know more or less your current situation but like most humans it's in one ear and out the other as we all have our own little agendas.
If you showed him/her exactly what you have written on May the 30th it may lighten the load man. Sympathy isn't your goal here it's getting back on track and even banging your script on here is going the right way mate.
For what it's worth my mum died young and so did her dad (my grandfather). I more or less condemned myself to the same fate but that's not how it works or plays out in real life. When I overthought things I found distraction was the key and way out. Any old ste. I took up some fked up hobbies I can tell you. laugh

Stick in. You`ll come good.

Edited by bigkeeko on Monday 29th August 23:48
Well, thanks, especially for the last line.

I've spent years trying to convince myself that I have half my Mum's genes (she lived to 84 while Dad only made 58). And I'm me, not my Dad.

Putting it all on here has been helpful - a little encouragement and support go a long way.

My best mate knows the whole story. I've known him for 45 years and the families were friends too. He's an invaluable source of support in many ways.

I've hopes for the future. The new drugs should kick in any day and I've more treatment to come. Recovering from Friday has taken time but at least I survived.

Thanks again, lurky.


Edited by lurky on Tuesday 30th August 01:28

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Tuesday 30th August 2016
quotequote all
castex said:
Be strong Lurky, and when you cannot just know that we're thinking of you.
Just knowing this is a source of strength. Thank you for your kind words.

Lurky.

zarjaz1991

3,471 posts

122 months

Tuesday 30th August 2016
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Keep pushing Lurky. I know sometimes you don't get replies to your updates but that doesn't mean people aren't reading and rooting for you.

Please keep the updates coming....good or bad. There's no shame in dealing with what you're dealing with, and it can inspire others too.

lurky

Original Poster:

61 posts

94 months

Friday 2nd September 2016
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Dose no.14 of Venlafaxine has just gone down my neck and according to my research, the beginnings of a positive effect might start soon. The side effects haven't been too punishing. I've been a bit sleepy on and off and had a sweat or two. Since last Friday's huge panic attack, I've been 'air hungry' in the mornings. This can be a side effect but my money's on its being somatic...I'd taken four doses before the panic so it pans out.

greygoose

8,225 posts

194 months

Friday 2nd September 2016
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Life can be pretty crap at times, my mother died at 54 and it does lead to a sense of impending mortality as you get older. One thing that has helped me is to go out for a walk as often as possible, I am not a fan of gyms or radical exercise regimes as I am a touch lazy, but a nice walk in the countryside at your own pace can lift the spirits in seeing some nice views, wildlife roaming about etc, I know it sounds like soppy nonsense but I genuinely find it helps. If there are local groups that go for a walk then you can have a nice chat too.

Good luck.