Borderline Personality Disorder
Discussion
I just spent two weeks in the UK, enjoying the English 'summer'...... so won't be back for another year or so.
Keeping away from the booze is the best thing I've done, ever. That little 'hiccup' started when I was about 15, a few beers made me a totally different person, confident, relaxed, I lost all my nervousness with people etc. As a kid I was scared of my own shadow,
terrified of confrontation, but that has got a lot better over the decades.
Keeping away from the booze is the best thing I've done, ever. That little 'hiccup' started when I was about 15, a few beers made me a totally different person, confident, relaxed, I lost all my nervousness with people etc. As a kid I was scared of my own shadow,
terrified of confrontation, but that has got a lot better over the decades.
i don't believe you have BPD
people with BPD have a thing where thoughts become reality to ignore their pain
you are self critical! you have also achieved in life.
my wife is BPD wont admit it or seek help so we are getting divorced.
this is a boundary i have placed after she made up being raped by a friends brother and abused emotionally by her mum.
to cover affairs that were happening, because she couldn't deal with me loving her.
i know know that she has BPD and will not seek treatment, i am painted black and lost everything to her lies.
my new life starts now and the only safety is to go no contact!
good luck with what your issue is just be glad it is probably not BPD
people with BPD have a thing where thoughts become reality to ignore their pain
you are self critical! you have also achieved in life.
my wife is BPD wont admit it or seek help so we are getting divorced.
this is a boundary i have placed after she made up being raped by a friends brother and abused emotionally by her mum.
to cover affairs that were happening, because she couldn't deal with me loving her.
i know know that she has BPD and will not seek treatment, i am painted black and lost everything to her lies.
my new life starts now and the only safety is to go no contact!
good luck with what your issue is just be glad it is probably not BPD
SplatSpeed said:
i don't believe you have BPD
people with BPD have a thing where thoughts become reality to ignore their pain
you are self critical! you have also achieved in life.
my wife is BPD wont admit it or seek help so we are getting divorced.
this is a boundary i have placed after she made up being raped by a friends brother and abused emotionally by her mum.
to cover affairs that were happening, because she couldn't deal with me loving her.
i know know that she has BPD and will not seek treatment, i am painted black and lost everything to her lies.
my new life starts now and the only safety is to go no contact!
good luck with what your issue is just be glad it is probably not BPD
This.people with BPD have a thing where thoughts become reality to ignore their pain
you are self critical! you have also achieved in life.
my wife is BPD wont admit it or seek help so we are getting divorced.
this is a boundary i have placed after she made up being raped by a friends brother and abused emotionally by her mum.
to cover affairs that were happening, because she couldn't deal with me loving her.
i know know that she has BPD and will not seek treatment, i am painted black and lost everything to her lies.
my new life starts now and the only safety is to go no contact!
good luck with what your issue is just be glad it is probably not BPD
People with BPD are total lunatics to be honest. I've first hand experience of how awful they can be. The stuff described above is disgusting to be honest, lying about being raped etc. The badge of mental illness shouldn't really extend to these lot, they're more criminals than patients in many cases.
I wish you a great deal of luck with your new life, don't look back, don't try and treasure past years. Get on and move on, everyday will seem beautiful when you've lived with someone like this.
I dont believe you have BPD as I know it to be. Like others, I've been in a relationship with someone who has BPD with a mix of bipolar. You seem a bit too rational in comparison, but there's no exact line you can draw. It's something that usually someone else will spot and try to get you to get help. You'll think the things you do are completely rational and well reasoned, there's no question that 'this' is the right thing, or 'this is the best thing to do'
For example, a day experienced with my ex g/f. We were in Tescos on a Saturday morning about to do the shopping. She was hungry, I was pushing a trolley. She looked up at the cafe upstairs and said the bacon smelt nice. I carried on walking with the trolley and she completely flipped, started shouting that I was trying to kill her by starving her to death. I was just looking at the tomatoes and considering maybe an iceberg lettuce, then had windmilling handbags coming at me. No other pointers, it was a really subtle change and then everything max'd to 11, but in her mind there'd been something leading up to the outburst, and that was I must be trying to kill her. Trying to understand it from her viewpoint was hard, because the problem on the surface wasnt the main one, there was another behind it that was a trigger, and I had no access to it and didnt know when it'd come.
When the panic was over, and we'd eaten bacon, everything was fine - she got what she wanted. Later that night, she tied a t shirt over my mouth while I was asleep because 'the woman with the green face told her to do it' (hallucination). She'd been arguing with the woman that it wasnt really my fault but managed to compromise with the woman that the t shirt would be good enough rather than a pillow held over my face, because she did actually like me and didnt want me to leave her on her own. Then went to the bathroom and opened up her arm with a knife.
There wasnt really any understanding of whether I wanted to be involved in that, or felt like I was a part of that discussion with the hallicination - it was her and this other woman working it out between them.
When you're dealing with that on a regular basis, as the person with the diagnosis, I cant imagine it's much fun to have that amount of turmoil constantly going around. If you are diagnosed with it, I really hope that you can get the help you need. If that's then a case of moving somewhere where there's a better standard of mental health, I'd suggest that being an option to consider.
For example, a day experienced with my ex g/f. We were in Tescos on a Saturday morning about to do the shopping. She was hungry, I was pushing a trolley. She looked up at the cafe upstairs and said the bacon smelt nice. I carried on walking with the trolley and she completely flipped, started shouting that I was trying to kill her by starving her to death. I was just looking at the tomatoes and considering maybe an iceberg lettuce, then had windmilling handbags coming at me. No other pointers, it was a really subtle change and then everything max'd to 11, but in her mind there'd been something leading up to the outburst, and that was I must be trying to kill her. Trying to understand it from her viewpoint was hard, because the problem on the surface wasnt the main one, there was another behind it that was a trigger, and I had no access to it and didnt know when it'd come.
When the panic was over, and we'd eaten bacon, everything was fine - she got what she wanted. Later that night, she tied a t shirt over my mouth while I was asleep because 'the woman with the green face told her to do it' (hallucination). She'd been arguing with the woman that it wasnt really my fault but managed to compromise with the woman that the t shirt would be good enough rather than a pillow held over my face, because she did actually like me and didnt want me to leave her on her own. Then went to the bathroom and opened up her arm with a knife.
There wasnt really any understanding of whether I wanted to be involved in that, or felt like I was a part of that discussion with the hallicination - it was her and this other woman working it out between them.
When you're dealing with that on a regular basis, as the person with the diagnosis, I cant imagine it's much fun to have that amount of turmoil constantly going around. If you are diagnosed with it, I really hope that you can get the help you need. If that's then a case of moving somewhere where there's a better standard of mental health, I'd suggest that being an option to consider.
It's not for me to try and give you a mild/medium/severe diagnosis, and it's definitely not you either - from experience and what I've read it's the partner or family of the person who'll drag them to the doctor, with them screaming there's nothing wrong with them, it's everyone else who's nuts.
If it's something you're genuinely concerned about, and want to stick a name on it, you should seek out a mental health specialist and hope that this is just a bit of webMD that's gone off script.
If it's something you're genuinely concerned about, and want to stick a name on it, you should seek out a mental health specialist and hope that this is just a bit of webMD that's gone off script.
delusions of grandeur, calling yourself king is more NPD lol
however if there is a deep hole in you that you cannot look into and abyss, that makes you distort reality and believe the lies you are telling
you may have BPD, i think you don't.
you are self critical and self aware. both things a pwBPD does not and cannot do
its usually a female thing as well .
be glad treatment is 1 hr a week one to one and telephone support and 1 hr group a week with a therapist and the costs!!
for 10 years!!!!!
however if there is a deep hole in you that you cannot look into and abyss, that makes you distort reality and believe the lies you are telling
you may have BPD, i think you don't.
you are self critical and self aware. both things a pwBPD does not and cannot do
its usually a female thing as well .
be glad treatment is 1 hr a week one to one and telephone support and 1 hr group a week with a therapist and the costs!!
for 10 years!!!!!
SplatSpeed said:
be glad treatment is 1 hr a week one to one and telephone support and 1 hr group a week with a therapist and the costs!!
for 10 years!!!!!
They've never heard of 'therapy' over here, just tell you to get a grip......for 10 years!!!!!
I don't think I'm an animal about to self consume and take the family with it, just all the symptoms seem eerily familiar.
Part of my job role is working with clients diagnosed with personality disorders.
The first thing people need to understand is that PD's are not classified as a mental illness, such as depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, although it is possible to be diagnosed with co-morbid mental health issues such as those previously stated They are ingrained and maladaptive behaviours caused by trauma, abuse and dysfunctional family environments.
As such, they are particularly difficult to treat as they do not really respond to medication and the therapies that work, such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and Cognitive Analytical Therapy, are expensive, time consuming and require a level of commitment which is often at odds with the behaviours exhibited by those with PD's.
Working with these clients is extremely challenging and without doubt they will bite back, often concocting outrageous lies and fantasies to make themselves the victim at your expense.
However, once you get to understand the back stories, you do tend to feel for them as some of the things they have gone through are absolutely horrific and you realise that all of their behaviours (no matter how dysfunctional!!!) are a cry for help. Very sad. :-(
The first thing people need to understand is that PD's are not classified as a mental illness, such as depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, although it is possible to be diagnosed with co-morbid mental health issues such as those previously stated They are ingrained and maladaptive behaviours caused by trauma, abuse and dysfunctional family environments.
As such, they are particularly difficult to treat as they do not really respond to medication and the therapies that work, such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapy and Cognitive Analytical Therapy, are expensive, time consuming and require a level of commitment which is often at odds with the behaviours exhibited by those with PD's.
Working with these clients is extremely challenging and without doubt they will bite back, often concocting outrageous lies and fantasies to make themselves the victim at your expense.
However, once you get to understand the back stories, you do tend to feel for them as some of the things they have gone through are absolutely horrific and you realise that all of their behaviours (no matter how dysfunctional!!!) are a cry for help. Very sad. :-(
King Herald said:
I just saw a Facebook post about this, recognised the name from somewhere, and Googled it, did several on-line tests.
Now I realise that for most of my life I've had all the symptoms of this.
Turgid relationships, alcohol abuse, wild mood swings back and forth, periods where I just feel empty and useless. I've been married 20 years, long, turgid, emotional years, and I know that my mood can go from happy and worry free to a boiling seething pot of frustration with just a few snappy words from the wife. And the daughter too, as she is a teen........
I had lots of girlfriends when I was younger, but every single relationship was fraught with insecurity, jealousy, continual arguments etc. And when alcohol was mixed into the recipe I was a total a
hole, basically, always have been. And I was always happiest when I was single, that I do know.
I heard something the other day: "I've been scared my whole life". I realised that fits me to the letter. I've done loads of things, travelled, rode bikes, cars, adventure, skydiving etc, but I know down that I've done it mainly to prove to myself that I'm NOT scared, that I can do things, but I've been secretly scared stless inside, all the time. Beer helps, sort of. A couple of beers in my belly and I somehow feel 'whole' all of a sudden, like something was missing.
It's not like I'm a bum drugee, living in some doss-house, on welfare. We currently live in the Philippines, we built a nice big house, also have a house in England, and I've had a job all my life, retired last year at 55.
For years I've told myself that I am just a moody, sensitive guy who sulks a lot, and that the reason I sometimes sit and do nothing for days is just me being lazy, and all the stupid arguments when I'm drunk are caused by other people......but having read all about 'Borderline Personality Disorder' I'm now thinking differently.
I doubt it makes any difference to me, as there is no cure. It just labels me as a nutter, I guess. Nice to finally know what brand of nutter though.
If it helps to know your not alone.Now I realise that for most of my life I've had all the symptoms of this.
Turgid relationships, alcohol abuse, wild mood swings back and forth, periods where I just feel empty and useless. I've been married 20 years, long, turgid, emotional years, and I know that my mood can go from happy and worry free to a boiling seething pot of frustration with just a few snappy words from the wife. And the daughter too, as she is a teen........
I had lots of girlfriends when I was younger, but every single relationship was fraught with insecurity, jealousy, continual arguments etc. And when alcohol was mixed into the recipe I was a total a
hole, basically, always have been. And I was always happiest when I was single, that I do know.I heard something the other day: "I've been scared my whole life". I realised that fits me to the letter. I've done loads of things, travelled, rode bikes, cars, adventure, skydiving etc, but I know down that I've done it mainly to prove to myself that I'm NOT scared, that I can do things, but I've been secretly scared s
tless inside, all the time. Beer helps, sort of. A couple of beers in my belly and I somehow feel 'whole' all of a sudden, like something was missing.It's not like I'm a bum drugee, living in some doss-house, on welfare. We currently live in the Philippines, we built a nice big house, also have a house in England, and I've had a job all my life, retired last year at 55.
For years I've told myself that I am just a moody, sensitive guy who sulks a lot, and that the reason I sometimes sit and do nothing for days is just me being lazy, and all the stupid arguments when I'm drunk are caused by other people......but having read all about 'Borderline Personality Disorder' I'm now thinking differently.
I doubt it makes any difference to me, as there is no cure. It just labels me as a nutter, I guess. Nice to finally know what brand of nutter though.
At the age of 33 I got diagnosed with ADHD, put on medication a d my life flipped 180°.
I went from 15 years of heroin addiction to being in recovery AND stopping smoking almost overnight.
s
t happens, I like the guy that looks back in the mirror now.I didn't before. See a professional.
Reading this and wondering how things are getting on now?
In relation to some of the comments above about people with BPD being basically not able to achieve anything in life is a tad OTT. At the end of September after spending 6 weeks with the community mental/home treatment health team after having an emergency referral via the GP, for what they had assumed was bipolar, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Yet, I have a degree and currently working on 2nd degree, served in military, been with my wife for near 13 years and work in a public sector job. So people who do have BPD are capable of these things. Though I need a strong support base to get through daily life. The health team did state that I was however a high functioning individual. Despite this, I have destroyed my life several times over. A huge list of lost friends, broken relationships, multiple suicide attempts,lost jobs, jail and countless others that I won't go into.
For a number of years I was being diagnosed with bipolar. Medications never worked, therapy never worked and round in circles I went. My moods change quicker than you could imagine. I have days of crippling depression and haunted by thoughts of previous experiences. Smallest remarks in the workplace can trigger an episode for me. I feel empty and lost most of the time. It's hard to deal with and I understand why people walk away.
How are things going for you?
In relation to some of the comments above about people with BPD being basically not able to achieve anything in life is a tad OTT. At the end of September after spending 6 weeks with the community mental/home treatment health team after having an emergency referral via the GP, for what they had assumed was bipolar, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Yet, I have a degree and currently working on 2nd degree, served in military, been with my wife for near 13 years and work in a public sector job. So people who do have BPD are capable of these things. Though I need a strong support base to get through daily life. The health team did state that I was however a high functioning individual. Despite this, I have destroyed my life several times over. A huge list of lost friends, broken relationships, multiple suicide attempts,lost jobs, jail and countless others that I won't go into.
For a number of years I was being diagnosed with bipolar. Medications never worked, therapy never worked and round in circles I went. My moods change quicker than you could imagine. I have days of crippling depression and haunted by thoughts of previous experiences. Smallest remarks in the workplace can trigger an episode for me. I feel empty and lost most of the time. It's hard to deal with and I understand why people walk away.
How are things going for you?
burritoNinja said:
.
....For a number of years I was being diagnosed with bipolar. Medications never worked, therapy never worked and round in circles I went. My moods change quicker than you could imagine. I have days of crippling depression and haunted by thoughts of previous experiences. Smallest remarks in the workplace can trigger an episode for me. I feel empty and lost most of the time. It's hard to deal with and I understand why people walk away.
How are things going for you?
Well, life was fairly good when I first posted this but not long after it all went down the toilet totally. Wife and I fell out, yet again, big time this time, irrepairably, so I decided to leave the Philippines and come back to the UK with my daughter. Wife stayed there to sell the house, and is still there. ....For a number of years I was being diagnosed with bipolar. Medications never worked, therapy never worked and round in circles I went. My moods change quicker than you could imagine. I have days of crippling depression and haunted by thoughts of previous experiences. Smallest remarks in the workplace can trigger an episode for me. I feel empty and lost most of the time. It's hard to deal with and I understand why people walk away.
How are things going for you?
I sold the hot rod, packed everything up and flew out back to England exactly a year ago today. 2017 has been the most miserable and depressing year of my life.
I have chronicled some of it in here, much to people amusement, Currently in the process of divorcing the wife, which is proving to be extremely stressful. So, things are not going very well for me, in a nutshell. From living the dream, to looking for a rope and a good solid tree, in such a short time.
davhill said:
The DSM5 criteria are out. BPD hasn't changed much since DSMIV. Google time.
Lol I hope it changes to something awesome in next volume so I can hopefully upgrade to a normal personality. Though the diagnoses has made it easier for me to cope and understand why I do or think certain ways, even when I don’t see it. OP how are you getting on now?
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