Emotional eating and being unlucky in life?
Discussion
It's not the headteacher trying to demoralise me but the head of the International Section.
Of course the headmistress and her were schoolfriends. Both unmarried, no children, and definitely strong believers that a woman has the final say!!!!
The headmistress is petite but drives a huge American 4x4 ( the largest vehicle in the school car park!)
The head of the IS 'hates kids'!( her words) and collects firearms! She also loves beer!!!!
Her boyfriend ( science teacher at same school!) does all the cooking/cleaning in their 6 bed home ( rather large for a couple!!!) and he does flower arranging ( no kidding!!!
In public she talks over him and he rolls over and plays the doormat!!!!!
She's always been jealous of me having brought up two wonderful, intelligent children ( virtually on my own for last 3 years!) and she's never publically praised them for their outstanding school records!!!! When my son passed his baccalauréat last June 3rd in class) and got into a top Paris uni she was the only person who downplayed his achievements!!!!
Rings a bell doesn't it? It's the story of my life. I seem to attract bullying, manipulative, emotionally damaged people who see me as a soft touch. These people seem to be able to smell a weakness a mile of and take advantage!!!
The head of the IS is well aware of my family situation but instead of support and some compassion i get a bloody hard time!!
Unfortunately it's rather complicated to go back to the UK with my daughter for 3 reasons:
- The ex has said she'd fight me tooth and nail ( out of spite) and drag out the legal process supported by generous cheques from her family.
- Secondly my daughter doesn't want to live in England.
-Finally i'd need to get a full time teaching job and get my daughter into a reasonable school nearby. Not easy.
I guess i'm stuck here for another 5 years.
I love my kids and they love me a lot but i feel very bitter that my dad, my ex, my MIL, my boss and others have all used this to manipulate/blackmail/ denigrate me!!!! They've all taken advantage of my situation to try to humiliate/ crush me. I've fought back and defended myself every time but they still keep on trying.
Of course the headmistress and her were schoolfriends. Both unmarried, no children, and definitely strong believers that a woman has the final say!!!!
The headmistress is petite but drives a huge American 4x4 ( the largest vehicle in the school car park!)
The head of the IS 'hates kids'!( her words) and collects firearms! She also loves beer!!!!
Her boyfriend ( science teacher at same school!) does all the cooking/cleaning in their 6 bed home ( rather large for a couple!!!) and he does flower arranging ( no kidding!!!
In public she talks over him and he rolls over and plays the doormat!!!!!
She's always been jealous of me having brought up two wonderful, intelligent children ( virtually on my own for last 3 years!) and she's never publically praised them for their outstanding school records!!!! When my son passed his baccalauréat last June 3rd in class) and got into a top Paris uni she was the only person who downplayed his achievements!!!!
Rings a bell doesn't it? It's the story of my life. I seem to attract bullying, manipulative, emotionally damaged people who see me as a soft touch. These people seem to be able to smell a weakness a mile of and take advantage!!!
The head of the IS is well aware of my family situation but instead of support and some compassion i get a bloody hard time!!
Unfortunately it's rather complicated to go back to the UK with my daughter for 3 reasons:
- The ex has said she'd fight me tooth and nail ( out of spite) and drag out the legal process supported by generous cheques from her family.
- Secondly my daughter doesn't want to live in England.
-Finally i'd need to get a full time teaching job and get my daughter into a reasonable school nearby. Not easy.
I guess i'm stuck here for another 5 years.
I love my kids and they love me a lot but i feel very bitter that my dad, my ex, my MIL, my boss and others have all used this to manipulate/blackmail/ denigrate me!!!! They've all taken advantage of my situation to try to humiliate/ crush me. I've fought back and defended myself every time but they still keep on trying.
Edited by rosbif77 on Saturday 10th September 12:40
rosbif77 said:
It's not the headteacher trying to demoralise me but the head of the International Section.
Of course the headmistress and her were schoolfriends. Both unmarried, no children, and definitely strong believers that a woman has the final say!!!!
The headmistress is petite but drives a huge American 4x4 ( the largest vehicle in the school car park!)
The head of the IS 'hates kids'!( her words) and collects firearms! She also loves beer!!!!
Her boyfriend ( science teacher at same school!) does all the cooking/cleaning in their 6 bed home ( rather large for a couple!!!) and he does flower arranging ( no kidding!!!
In public she talks over him and he rolls over and plays the doormat!!!!!
She's always been jealous of me having brought up two wonderful, intelligent children ( virtually on my own for last 3 years!) and she's never publically praised them for their outstanding school records!!!! When my son passed his baccalauréat last June 3rd in class) and got into a top Paris uni she was the only person who downplayed his achievements!!!!
Rings a bell doesn't it? It's the story of my life. I seem to attract bullying, manipulative, emotionally damaged people who see me as a soft touch. These people seem to be able to smell a weakness a mile of and take advantage!!!
The head of the IS is well aware of my family situation but instead of support and some compassion i get a bloody hard time!!
Unfortunately it's rather complicated to go back to the UK with my daughter for 3 reasons:
- The ex has said she'd fight me tooth and nail ( out of spite) and drag out the legal process supported by generous cheques from her family.
- Secondly my daughter doesn't want to live in England.
-Finally i'd need to get a full time teaching job and get my daughter into a reasonable school nearby. Not easy.
I guess i'm stuck here for another 5 years.
I love my kids and they love me a lot but i feel very bitter that my dad, my ex, my MIL, my boss and others have all used this to manipulate/blackmail/ denigrate me!!!! They've all taken advantage of my situation to try to humiliate/ crush me. I've fought back and defended myself every time but they still keep on trying.
Yes bullies will use anything against you especially if you have had a difficult past. As you have stated it is like they can smell a weakness.Of course the headmistress and her were schoolfriends. Both unmarried, no children, and definitely strong believers that a woman has the final say!!!!
The headmistress is petite but drives a huge American 4x4 ( the largest vehicle in the school car park!)
The head of the IS 'hates kids'!( her words) and collects firearms! She also loves beer!!!!
Her boyfriend ( science teacher at same school!) does all the cooking/cleaning in their 6 bed home ( rather large for a couple!!!) and he does flower arranging ( no kidding!!!
In public she talks over him and he rolls over and plays the doormat!!!!!
She's always been jealous of me having brought up two wonderful, intelligent children ( virtually on my own for last 3 years!) and she's never publically praised them for their outstanding school records!!!! When my son passed his baccalauréat last June 3rd in class) and got into a top Paris uni she was the only person who downplayed his achievements!!!!
Rings a bell doesn't it? It's the story of my life. I seem to attract bullying, manipulative, emotionally damaged people who see me as a soft touch. These people seem to be able to smell a weakness a mile of and take advantage!!!
The head of the IS is well aware of my family situation but instead of support and some compassion i get a bloody hard time!!
Unfortunately it's rather complicated to go back to the UK with my daughter for 3 reasons:
- The ex has said she'd fight me tooth and nail ( out of spite) and drag out the legal process supported by generous cheques from her family.
- Secondly my daughter doesn't want to live in England.
-Finally i'd need to get a full time teaching job and get my daughter into a reasonable school nearby. Not easy.
I guess i'm stuck here for another 5 years.
I love my kids and they love me a lot but i feel very bitter that my dad, my ex, my MIL, my boss and others have all used this to manipulate/blackmail/ denigrate me!!!! They've all taken advantage of my situation to try to humiliate/ crush me. I've fought back and defended myself every time but they still keep on trying.
Edited by rosbif77 on Saturday 10th September 12:40
But before they have so much time to target you it shows their lives are not perfect. If they were happy in life why attack others. They are jealous of what they see so want you to know this by attacking.
It happens all the time but I have no idea why people who dislike children pick careers involving children. If they state you dislike kids they they should be removed from their positions.
I presume the head of IS has the correct paperwork for these firearms? If not report her. I am sure after what has been going on in France the authorities would not like someone collecting guns without having the correct paperwork.
Sounds like England is a no go.
I really hope you can have time to sit down and write. This IMO is the biggest escape you can achieve at this moment in time. Could be a huge positive out of a bad negative.
My boss has a job for life here. Virtually every teacher in France qualifies by passing the entrance exam in their early twenties, then simply works in the school they're posted to until they get enough points to choose their own school. That could take 20-30 years!!!!
Unless you commit a criminal offence you've got a cushy job. Half the teachers i know teach because they can't do anything else and they've been teaching the same lessons for years! If you're exceptionally talented and extremely hard working you might get extra points and therefore a pay rise. Otherwise poor, ordinary and good teachers all get paid the same. It helps to know someone in the local education authority who'll 'post' you to an easier school!!!
The boss has a gun permit and she's a member of a local hunting club.Her boyfriend makes cakes and presents his flower arrangements at shows!!!
She drives a Jeep and her boyfriend a Citroën C1!!!
It's a real reversal of roles!!!!!! The other male teachers in the school mock him, but they lick my boss's boots to make sure her friend ( the headmistress) gives them easy timetables.
I take a packed lunch and eat it in a small office. Sometimes i eat in the cantine with the classroom teaching assistants who get treated as a 'sub species' by the boss's friends.
My American colleague in the International Section is a member of the French communist party, preaches social revolution to anyone who'll listen to him, but drives a BMW 330i, owns at least 5 houses/flats, and wears expensive trainers!!!!!He has double nationality as well as a Swiss passport. He's never once supported me against the boss or even
given me advice(his wife is a union representative).
Lots of younger teachers have joined the school in récent years and work very hard to get the excellent pass rates. They're hoping the headmistress will notice them and award extra points (pay rise)!!!
The school is heavily over subscribed and there's a long waiting list of parents hoping to get their kids in.
À quarter of the kids come from very wealthy families, a quarter from middle class one's and the rest from poor families( taken due to quota system for private schools in France).
Teacher's children get an automatic place ( if they want them) and get big reductions on school fees( ( 75% in my case!)
My daughter would have to go to an average poorly funded local school in my catchment area if she wasn't at the private school.
Unfortunately my boss knows this very well so uses it against me. She knows I'll put up with the stress, bullying, bad timetable, pay cuts because i'm doing it for my children.
My son went to the private secondary and sixth form there and got an excellent education.
Maybe he would've achieved the same thing at the local state school, who knows?
My ex puts her relationship with her boyfriend first. He's nearly 7 years younger than her so she's constantly dieting, spending a fortune on beauty treatments and clothes, and having weekends away.
She's always left the kid's education to me even when we were still married.
She once said ' i married you because you'll always put our children first and help them achieve their dreams.'
Last weekend my son needed a whole pile of extra books for university. The ex refused to get them, claiming to be hard up, so i bought them for him.
Unless you commit a criminal offence you've got a cushy job. Half the teachers i know teach because they can't do anything else and they've been teaching the same lessons for years! If you're exceptionally talented and extremely hard working you might get extra points and therefore a pay rise. Otherwise poor, ordinary and good teachers all get paid the same. It helps to know someone in the local education authority who'll 'post' you to an easier school!!!
The boss has a gun permit and she's a member of a local hunting club.Her boyfriend makes cakes and presents his flower arrangements at shows!!!
She drives a Jeep and her boyfriend a Citroën C1!!!
It's a real reversal of roles!!!!!! The other male teachers in the school mock him, but they lick my boss's boots to make sure her friend ( the headmistress) gives them easy timetables.
I take a packed lunch and eat it in a small office. Sometimes i eat in the cantine with the classroom teaching assistants who get treated as a 'sub species' by the boss's friends.
My American colleague in the International Section is a member of the French communist party, preaches social revolution to anyone who'll listen to him, but drives a BMW 330i, owns at least 5 houses/flats, and wears expensive trainers!!!!!He has double nationality as well as a Swiss passport. He's never once supported me against the boss or even
given me advice(his wife is a union representative).
Lots of younger teachers have joined the school in récent years and work very hard to get the excellent pass rates. They're hoping the headmistress will notice them and award extra points (pay rise)!!!
The school is heavily over subscribed and there's a long waiting list of parents hoping to get their kids in.
À quarter of the kids come from very wealthy families, a quarter from middle class one's and the rest from poor families( taken due to quota system for private schools in France).
Teacher's children get an automatic place ( if they want them) and get big reductions on school fees( ( 75% in my case!)
My daughter would have to go to an average poorly funded local school in my catchment area if she wasn't at the private school.
Unfortunately my boss knows this very well so uses it against me. She knows I'll put up with the stress, bullying, bad timetable, pay cuts because i'm doing it for my children.
My son went to the private secondary and sixth form there and got an excellent education.
Maybe he would've achieved the same thing at the local state school, who knows?
My ex puts her relationship with her boyfriend first. He's nearly 7 years younger than her so she's constantly dieting, spending a fortune on beauty treatments and clothes, and having weekends away.
She's always left the kid's education to me even when we were still married.
She once said ' i married you because you'll always put our children first and help them achieve their dreams.'
Last weekend my son needed a whole pile of extra books for university. The ex refused to get them, claiming to be hard up, so i bought them for him.
[quote=rosbif77] My boss has a job for life here. Virtually every teacher in France qualifies by passing the entrance exam in their early twenties, then simply works in the school they're posted to until they get enough points to choose their own school. That could take 20-30 years!!!!
Unless you commit a criminal offence you've got a cushy job. Half the teachers i know teach because they can't do anything else and they've been teaching the same lessons for years! If you're exceptionally talented and extremely hard working you might get extra points and therefore a pay rise. Otherwise poor, ordinary and good teachers all get paid the same. It helps to know someone in the local education authority who'll 'post' you to an easier school!!!
The boss has a gun permit and she's a member of a local hunting club.Her boyfriend makes cakes and presents his flower arrangements at shows!!!
She drives a Jeep and her boyfriend a Citroën C1!!!
It's a real reversal of roles!!!!!! The other male teachers in the school mock him, but they lick my boss's boots to make sure her friend ( the headmistress) gives them easy timetables.
I take a packed lunch and eat it in a small office. Sometimes i eat in the cantine with the classroom teaching assistants who get treated as a 'sub species' by the boss's friends.
My American colleague in the International Section is a member of the French communist party, preaches social revolution to anyone who'll listen to him, but drives a BMW 330i, owns at least 5 houses/flats, and wears expensive trainers!!!!!He has double nationality as well as a Swiss passport. He's never once supported me against the boss or even
given me advice(his wife is a union representative).
Lots of younger teachers have joined the school in récent years and work very hard to get the excellent pass rates. They're hoping the headmistress will notice them and award extra points (pay rise)!!!
The school is heavily over subscribed and there's a long waiting list of parents hoping to get their kids in.
À quarter of the kids come from very wealthy families, a quarter from middle class one's and the rest from poor families( taken due to quota system for private schools in France).
Teacher's children get an automatic place ( if they want them) and get big reductions on school fees( ( 75% in my case!)
My daughter would have to go to an average poorly funded local school in my catchment area if she wasn't at the private school.
Unfortunately my boss knows this very well so uses it against me. She knows I'll put up with the stress, bullying, bad timetable, pay cuts because i'm doing it for my children.
My son went to the private secondary and sixth form there and got an excellent education.
Maybe he would've achieved the same thing at the local state school, who knows?
My ex puts her relationship with her boyfriend first. He's nearly 7 years younger than her so she's constantly dieting, spending a fortune on beauty treatments and clothes, and having weekends away.
She's always left the kid's education to me even when we were still married.
She once said ' i married you because you'll always put our children first and help them achieve their dreams.'
Last weekend my son needed a whole pile of extra books for university. The ex refused to get them, claiming to be hard up, so i bought them for him.
The more I hear about the boss the more I have this in my head
My daughter use to love the film and it reminds me of your situation.
You will find that no one will put themselves in the firing line as they are not wanting to get on the wrong side of the boss. They see how you are treated and don't want any of that for themselves.
As you have mentioned that there are rich families sending their children to your school would there be any way of tapping into that through after school help?
Just a thought but perhaps you have to take your daughter home at these times.
So the ex has a younger model. Normally happens. Will it last? Doubt it. I bet she spends all her money on him and when that dries out he will be off.
Are you still trying a book?
Unless you commit a criminal offence you've got a cushy job. Half the teachers i know teach because they can't do anything else and they've been teaching the same lessons for years! If you're exceptionally talented and extremely hard working you might get extra points and therefore a pay rise. Otherwise poor, ordinary and good teachers all get paid the same. It helps to know someone in the local education authority who'll 'post' you to an easier school!!!
The boss has a gun permit and she's a member of a local hunting club.Her boyfriend makes cakes and presents his flower arrangements at shows!!!
She drives a Jeep and her boyfriend a Citroën C1!!!
It's a real reversal of roles!!!!!! The other male teachers in the school mock him, but they lick my boss's boots to make sure her friend ( the headmistress) gives them easy timetables.
I take a packed lunch and eat it in a small office. Sometimes i eat in the cantine with the classroom teaching assistants who get treated as a 'sub species' by the boss's friends.
My American colleague in the International Section is a member of the French communist party, preaches social revolution to anyone who'll listen to him, but drives a BMW 330i, owns at least 5 houses/flats, and wears expensive trainers!!!!!He has double nationality as well as a Swiss passport. He's never once supported me against the boss or even
given me advice(his wife is a union representative).
Lots of younger teachers have joined the school in récent years and work very hard to get the excellent pass rates. They're hoping the headmistress will notice them and award extra points (pay rise)!!!
The school is heavily over subscribed and there's a long waiting list of parents hoping to get their kids in.
À quarter of the kids come from very wealthy families, a quarter from middle class one's and the rest from poor families( taken due to quota system for private schools in France).
Teacher's children get an automatic place ( if they want them) and get big reductions on school fees( ( 75% in my case!)
My daughter would have to go to an average poorly funded local school in my catchment area if she wasn't at the private school.
Unfortunately my boss knows this very well so uses it against me. She knows I'll put up with the stress, bullying, bad timetable, pay cuts because i'm doing it for my children.
My son went to the private secondary and sixth form there and got an excellent education.
Maybe he would've achieved the same thing at the local state school, who knows?
My ex puts her relationship with her boyfriend first. He's nearly 7 years younger than her so she's constantly dieting, spending a fortune on beauty treatments and clothes, and having weekends away.
She's always left the kid's education to me even when we were still married.
She once said ' i married you because you'll always put our children first and help them achieve their dreams.'
Last weekend my son needed a whole pile of extra books for university. The ex refused to get them, claiming to be hard up, so i bought them for him.
The more I hear about the boss the more I have this in my head
My daughter use to love the film and it reminds me of your situation.
You will find that no one will put themselves in the firing line as they are not wanting to get on the wrong side of the boss. They see how you are treated and don't want any of that for themselves.
As you have mentioned that there are rich families sending their children to your school would there be any way of tapping into that through after school help?
Just a thought but perhaps you have to take your daughter home at these times.
So the ex has a younger model. Normally happens. Will it last? Doubt it. I bet she spends all her money on him and when that dries out he will be off.
Are you still trying a book?
I'm finding it difficult to write at the moment. I tried writing from 10 pm till midnight on the evenings i get back late is really tough. The creative juices weren't flowing. Next i tried writing from 5 - 6 am but after a week was too tired ( i get up at 5.45 normally).
I'm now scribbling down words during lesson breaks at school, hidden away in a storage room!
Got loads of notes/ideas/mini plots all over the place. I find i write better when i get angry or pissed off with someone!!! Gets the adrenaline going!
The weight isn't coming off. I go to the local gym Weds from 6-8 pm, Sat and Sun mornings from 8.30 - 10.30/11 and do cardio ( cross bike/rowing machine)plus lifting weights. I feel really good afterwards but absolutely ravenous when i get home.
I try to ignore the hunger pangs to avoid binging on stuff in the fridge with a long shower, lots of water, and putting on loud rock music!!!
Doesn't work. Even after a balanced meal i'm still hungry.
The second problem is when i get home after a really crap day at school ( hassle from the boss) i just feel really worthless and stupid for being in the situation , and just want to eat sugary food. I only buy dark chocolate and i feel an incredible urge to gobble up the whole block. I find myself opening the fridge/cupboard doors and desperately looking for something to give me a 'sugar rush' so i feel better. The problem with this is that 10 minutes later i feel really guilty and stupid for having given in and not resisted!
Everyday in traffic i try to remain calm and ignore the bloody awful driving around me! It's the wild west on the motorways/A roads round Paris. Every morning and every evening i see drivers with no seatbelt, drivers phoning whilst undertaking on the motorway, children climbing about in the back seats, lorries that jump red lights, cars that wait for you to get 20m from you then pull out from a side road, motorcyclists who slalom through fast moving traffic crossing three lanes, lorries who sit in the middle of a carriageway straddling the white lines and when they get to a roundabout just move out in front of a car!!!
In 12 years of daily commuting i've not seen one gendarme pull over a motorist on the roads i take every day!! There are simply too many drivers breaking too many laws so the police don't bother!!!
There are however speed cameras with signposts warning drivers 100m before so everyone slams on their brakes!!!!
Edited by rosbif77 on Thursday 15th September 18:58
[quote=rosbif77]
I'm finding it difficult to write at the moment. I tried writing from 10 pm till midnight on the evenings i get back late is really tough. The creative juices weren't flowing. Next i tried writing from 5 - 6 am but after a week was too tired ( i get up at 5.45 normally).
I'm now scribbling down words during lesson breaks at school, hidden away in a storage room!
Got loads of notes/ideas/mini plots all over the place. I find i write better when i get angry or pissed off with someone!!! Gets the adrenaline going!
The weight isn't coming off. I go to the local gym Weds from 6-8 pm, Sat and Sun mornings from 8.30 - 10.30/11 and do cardio ( cross bike/rowing machine)plus lifting weights. I feel really good afterwards but absolutely ravenous when i get home.
I try to ignore the hunger pangs to avoid binging on stuff in the fridge with a long shower, lots of water, and putting on loud rock music!!!
Doesn't work. Even after a balanced meal i'm still hungry.
The second problem is when i get home after a really crap day at school ( hassle from the boss) i just feel really worthless and stupid for being in the situation , and just want to eat sugary food. I only buy dark chocolate and i feel an incredible urge to gobble up the whole block. I find myself opening the fridge/cupboard doors and desperately looking for something to give me a 'sugar rush' so i feel better. The problem with this is that 10 minutes later i feel really guilty and stupid for having given in and not resisted!
Everyday in traffic i try to remain calm and ignore the bloody awful driving around me! It's the wild west on the motorways/A roads round Paris. Every morning and every evening i see drivers with no seatbelt, drivers phoning whilst undertaking on the motorway, children climbing about in the back seats, lorries that jump red lights, cars that wait for you to get 20m from you then pull out from a side road, motorcyclists who slalom through fast moving traffic crossing three lanes, lorries who sit in the middle of a carriageway straddling the white lines and when they get to a roundabout just move out in front of a car!!!
In 12 years of daily commuting i've not seen one gendarme pull over a motorist on the roads i take every day!! There are simply too many drivers breaking too many laws so the police don't bother!!!
There are however speed cameras with signposts warning drivers 100m before so everyone slams on their brakes!!!!
Well done at least trying to get the book started. Trying to write after work will not work as you will be totally shattered. Doing a bit while in school is a great idea. You know they are going to annoy you so why not use it to your advantage
Once you get in the flow of it I bet your notes and plots will come together and you will be very proud of the result. Just do not show anyone apart from future publishers.
Regarding the weight and the eating it again stems mostly from stress but also after working out you are bound to be very hungry. Someone who goes to my gym was struggling with his weight. Yes his portion sizes were still pretty big but he was trying hard. One thing that has worked for him is protein shakes and especially meal replacement shakes.
I use protein shakes and the replacement meal ones are the same idea. Basically 350ml of milk and two scoops of powder.
The guy at the gym on the meal replacement shakes is having three a day. He is having a meal at night but says he is not nearly as hungry as before.
Instead of reaching for a cake or a chocolate bar during the day he will have another shake is required.
This is the link I gave him.
http://www.theproteinworks.com/diet-meal-replaceme...
Worth getting the mixer bottle too as it saves a lot of hassle.
BTW I do not own the company.........LOL
So even the drive to work is stress city before you even get to work.
Hopefully you give the above meal replacement a go. They have an offer just now and also I think you can get samples. The taste is very good. Like a filling milkshake. I am sure the meal replacement will be the same.
I'm finding it difficult to write at the moment. I tried writing from 10 pm till midnight on the evenings i get back late is really tough. The creative juices weren't flowing. Next i tried writing from 5 - 6 am but after a week was too tired ( i get up at 5.45 normally).
I'm now scribbling down words during lesson breaks at school, hidden away in a storage room!
Got loads of notes/ideas/mini plots all over the place. I find i write better when i get angry or pissed off with someone!!! Gets the adrenaline going!
The weight isn't coming off. I go to the local gym Weds from 6-8 pm, Sat and Sun mornings from 8.30 - 10.30/11 and do cardio ( cross bike/rowing machine)plus lifting weights. I feel really good afterwards but absolutely ravenous when i get home.
I try to ignore the hunger pangs to avoid binging on stuff in the fridge with a long shower, lots of water, and putting on loud rock music!!!
Doesn't work. Even after a balanced meal i'm still hungry.
The second problem is when i get home after a really crap day at school ( hassle from the boss) i just feel really worthless and stupid for being in the situation , and just want to eat sugary food. I only buy dark chocolate and i feel an incredible urge to gobble up the whole block. I find myself opening the fridge/cupboard doors and desperately looking for something to give me a 'sugar rush' so i feel better. The problem with this is that 10 minutes later i feel really guilty and stupid for having given in and not resisted!
Everyday in traffic i try to remain calm and ignore the bloody awful driving around me! It's the wild west on the motorways/A roads round Paris. Every morning and every evening i see drivers with no seatbelt, drivers phoning whilst undertaking on the motorway, children climbing about in the back seats, lorries that jump red lights, cars that wait for you to get 20m from you then pull out from a side road, motorcyclists who slalom through fast moving traffic crossing three lanes, lorries who sit in the middle of a carriageway straddling the white lines and when they get to a roundabout just move out in front of a car!!!
In 12 years of daily commuting i've not seen one gendarme pull over a motorist on the roads i take every day!! There are simply too many drivers breaking too many laws so the police don't bother!!!
There are however speed cameras with signposts warning drivers 100m before so everyone slams on their brakes!!!!
Well done at least trying to get the book started. Trying to write after work will not work as you will be totally shattered. Doing a bit while in school is a great idea. You know they are going to annoy you so why not use it to your advantage
Once you get in the flow of it I bet your notes and plots will come together and you will be very proud of the result. Just do not show anyone apart from future publishers.
Regarding the weight and the eating it again stems mostly from stress but also after working out you are bound to be very hungry. Someone who goes to my gym was struggling with his weight. Yes his portion sizes were still pretty big but he was trying hard. One thing that has worked for him is protein shakes and especially meal replacement shakes.
I use protein shakes and the replacement meal ones are the same idea. Basically 350ml of milk and two scoops of powder.
The guy at the gym on the meal replacement shakes is having three a day. He is having a meal at night but says he is not nearly as hungry as before.
Instead of reaching for a cake or a chocolate bar during the day he will have another shake is required.
This is the link I gave him.
http://www.theproteinworks.com/diet-meal-replaceme...
Worth getting the mixer bottle too as it saves a lot of hassle.
BTW I do not own the company.........LOL
So even the drive to work is stress city before you even get to work.
Hopefully you give the above meal replacement a go. They have an offer just now and also I think you can get samples. The taste is very good. Like a filling milkshake. I am sure the meal replacement will be the same.
Some good and bad news.
Just weighed myself and i've dropped from 94kg to 90kg (not weighted myself since mid August) . Last week i went to the gym everyday with 1h cardio (2x30 of crossbike) and 1h of lifting weights.
I've also cut down my portion sizes and the jeans are not as tight as before.
Still got about 8-10 kg to go!
Bad news: i'm going to have to get a lawyer because the ex is not respecting the terms of the divorce contract. She refuses to pay her contribution towards thé fuel costs i pay to take my daughter to school everyday. Before it was both kids now it's one ( but still the same distance!)
The MIL wants a confrontation in court and then drag out the process to strangle me financially.
My son came home for the weekend on Friday afternoon. I had a parents evening in the sixth form plus i had to pick up my daughter who came back late from a school trip. We got back at 10.30pm and the ex had refused to do my son's laundry, or feed him ( the local laundry next to his Uni was closed) claiming it was my week to look after the kids!!!
She has 2 washing machines and spin dryers!!!
Had to take them to the local fast food drive at 11pm!!
However, my daughter got worried that i was starting to feel tired and angry so she gave me a lovely present ( she used nearly all her pocket money i gave her as school trip spending money) and a card with a picture she'd drawn of her and me floating in a hot air balloon over the Massif Central under which she'd written the following words;
' to the best and most precious daddy in the world. I'm so lucky to have a daddy like you.
I love you lots'
She gave me a big hug and when she saw i was choked up said
'life isn't always fair and i don't care what mummy says about you because you'll always be my special daddy!'
Just weighed myself and i've dropped from 94kg to 90kg (not weighted myself since mid August) . Last week i went to the gym everyday with 1h cardio (2x30 of crossbike) and 1h of lifting weights.
I've also cut down my portion sizes and the jeans are not as tight as before.
Still got about 8-10 kg to go!
Bad news: i'm going to have to get a lawyer because the ex is not respecting the terms of the divorce contract. She refuses to pay her contribution towards thé fuel costs i pay to take my daughter to school everyday. Before it was both kids now it's one ( but still the same distance!)
The MIL wants a confrontation in court and then drag out the process to strangle me financially.
My son came home for the weekend on Friday afternoon. I had a parents evening in the sixth form plus i had to pick up my daughter who came back late from a school trip. We got back at 10.30pm and the ex had refused to do my son's laundry, or feed him ( the local laundry next to his Uni was closed) claiming it was my week to look after the kids!!!
She has 2 washing machines and spin dryers!!!
Had to take them to the local fast food drive at 11pm!!
However, my daughter got worried that i was starting to feel tired and angry so she gave me a lovely present ( she used nearly all her pocket money i gave her as school trip spending money) and a card with a picture she'd drawn of her and me floating in a hot air balloon over the Massif Central under which she'd written the following words;
' to the best and most precious daddy in the world. I'm so lucky to have a daddy like you.
I love you lots'
She gave me a big hug and when she saw i was choked up said
'life isn't always fair and i don't care what mummy says about you because you'll always be my special daddy!'
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 18th September 11:24
[quote=rosbif77]Some good and bad news.
Just weighed myself and i've dropped from 94kg to 90kg (not weighted myself since mid August) . Last week i went to the gym everyday with 1h cardio (2x30 of crossbike) and 1h of lifting weights.
I've also cut down my portion sizes and the jeans are not as tight as before.
Still got about 8-10 kg to go!
Bad news: i'm going to have to get a lawyer because the ex is not respecting the terms of the divorce contract. She refuses to pay her contribution towards thé fuel costs i pay to take my daughter to school everyday. Before it was both kids now it's one ( but still the same distance!)
The MIL wants a confrontation in court and then drag out the process to strangle me financially.
My son came home for the weekend on Friday afternoon. I had a parents evening in the sixth form plus i had to pick up my daughter who came back late from a school trip. We got back at 10.30pm and the ex had refused to do my son's laundry, or feed him ( the local laundry next to his Uni was closed) claiming it was my week to look after the kids!!!
She has 2 washing machines and spin dryers!!!
Had to take them to the local fast food drive at 11pm!!
However, my daughter got worried that i was starting to feel tired and angry so she gave me a lovely present ( she used nearly all her pocket money i gave her as school trip spending money) and a card with a picture she'd drawn of her and me floating in a hot air balloon over the Massif Central under which she'd written the following words;
' to the best and most precious daddy in the world. I'm so lucky to have a daddy like you.
I love you lots'
She gave me a big hug and when she saw i was choked up said
'life isn't always fair and i don't care what mummy says about you because you'll always be my special daddy!'
Well done losing the weight but remember scales are the enemy. Muscle is heavier than fat so you will have lost more than that but the muscle makes up for the fat loss.
I am sure if you had taken a picture of yourself in August it would shock you.
Again well done with that.
I am not sure if your ex is wanting to hurt you or the children. What is the point of her taking you back to court. Unbelievable.
Thankfully your children know what is going on and clearly your daughter loves you unconditionally.
Your ex might think she is being smart but in the long run she is going to land up pushing her children further into your arms with the crap she is saying and doing.
For your daughter to do this for you just shows how amazing a father you are in your children's eyes.
This is a bond your ex and the MIL can never take away from you.
Just weighed myself and i've dropped from 94kg to 90kg (not weighted myself since mid August) . Last week i went to the gym everyday with 1h cardio (2x30 of crossbike) and 1h of lifting weights.
I've also cut down my portion sizes and the jeans are not as tight as before.
Still got about 8-10 kg to go!
Bad news: i'm going to have to get a lawyer because the ex is not respecting the terms of the divorce contract. She refuses to pay her contribution towards thé fuel costs i pay to take my daughter to school everyday. Before it was both kids now it's one ( but still the same distance!)
The MIL wants a confrontation in court and then drag out the process to strangle me financially.
My son came home for the weekend on Friday afternoon. I had a parents evening in the sixth form plus i had to pick up my daughter who came back late from a school trip. We got back at 10.30pm and the ex had refused to do my son's laundry, or feed him ( the local laundry next to his Uni was closed) claiming it was my week to look after the kids!!!
She has 2 washing machines and spin dryers!!!
Had to take them to the local fast food drive at 11pm!!
However, my daughter got worried that i was starting to feel tired and angry so she gave me a lovely present ( she used nearly all her pocket money i gave her as school trip spending money) and a card with a picture she'd drawn of her and me floating in a hot air balloon over the Massif Central under which she'd written the following words;
' to the best and most precious daddy in the world. I'm so lucky to have a daddy like you.
I love you lots'
She gave me a big hug and when she saw i was choked up said
'life isn't always fair and i don't care what mummy says about you because you'll always be my special daddy!'
Well done losing the weight but remember scales are the enemy. Muscle is heavier than fat so you will have lost more than that but the muscle makes up for the fat loss.
I am sure if you had taken a picture of yourself in August it would shock you.
Again well done with that.
I am not sure if your ex is wanting to hurt you or the children. What is the point of her taking you back to court. Unbelievable.
Thankfully your children know what is going on and clearly your daughter loves you unconditionally.
Your ex might think she is being smart but in the long run she is going to land up pushing her children further into your arms with the crap she is saying and doing.
For your daughter to do this for you just shows how amazing a father you are in your children's eyes.
This is a bond your ex and the MIL can never take away from you.
Rosbif - not had much to add but am keeping abreast of your situation. On my part I have decided that I need to invest in myself and am going through some counselling to try and uncover the root causes in my instance. I have nothing like the background that you have described from childhood, but it is becoming apparent that there are issues there that stem from high expectation and failed potential that I still punish myself for and feel guilty about to this day.
It's tough and very upsetting and I have discovered some very uncomfortable feelings that I have buried for many years. I too have started trying to express some of my feelings through my writing and am finding that I have a lot of suppressed rage, bitterness and betrayal to overcome.
I know I'm just a random bloke on the internet but you are welcome to PM if you ever need to rant
It's tough and very upsetting and I have discovered some very uncomfortable feelings that I have buried for many years. I too have started trying to express some of my feelings through my writing and am finding that I have a lot of suppressed rage, bitterness and betrayal to overcome.
I know I'm just a random bloke on the internet but you are welcome to PM if you ever need to rant
rosbif77 said:
If you read through my lifestory above there's always been something that goes wrong just when life was getting better for me. I don't know if it's a question of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, sheer bad luck or something else, but whatever it is i must be jinxed!
All that suffering and lack of love/support during the bad times led me to confort eat to ease the pain. It's been a continual vicious circle;when you see yourself in the mirror after binge drinking or gorging on sugary stuff you feel so down you just wanna reach for another bottle/cake!
Has anyone on here been through a similar situation and if so how did they get out of it?
I arrived in the UK with £5.11 in my pocket. I slept rough the first night.All that suffering and lack of love/support during the bad times led me to confort eat to ease the pain. It's been a continual vicious circle;when you see yourself in the mirror after binge drinking or gorging on sugary stuff you feel so down you just wanna reach for another bottle/cake!
Has anyone on here been through a similar situation and if so how did they get out of it?
Fortunately, I was utterly unaware of my own limitations. So it was easy to take things on.
Confidence is key.
Take a blank sheet of paper. Write down your strong points. You can take several days to do this. One a day is fine.
I promise that you will surprise yourself.
rosbif77 said:
No comments about 'manning up or tough or out' because that's all i got from my dad and it didn't stop another disaster from happening!
Comments like that don't help at all. All they do is damage your confidence.I've always had a terrible lack of self confidence that's led me to feel stupid, worthless and unable to achieve anything in life.
Shame and guilt followed. Reinforced by the very people closest to me.
I constantly compared myself to others believing that they must have better lives than me.
My dad felt bitter that he never achieved the career he wanted due to bad luck, not knowing the right person, speaking his mind too often etc. I suppose i must have sub consciously picked up these messages throughout my youth and that combined with a lack of praise/encouragement led to my negativity.
The worst thing was the daily suffering i endured at school, the numerous occasions when i literally felt like i was dying, and no one believed ( or wanted to believe) what i was going through. It lasted 5 years and even now i can remember all the horrors.
No one was there to protect or help me. I was ignored and things swept under the carpet.
That's the reason i've put all my time and energy into making sure i'm the best possible father for my children.
Shame and guilt followed. Reinforced by the very people closest to me.
I constantly compared myself to others believing that they must have better lives than me.
My dad felt bitter that he never achieved the career he wanted due to bad luck, not knowing the right person, speaking his mind too often etc. I suppose i must have sub consciously picked up these messages throughout my youth and that combined with a lack of praise/encouragement led to my negativity.
The worst thing was the daily suffering i endured at school, the numerous occasions when i literally felt like i was dying, and no one believed ( or wanted to believe) what i was going through. It lasted 5 years and even now i can remember all the horrors.
No one was there to protect or help me. I was ignored and things swept under the carpet.
That's the reason i've put all my time and energy into making sure i'm the best possible father for my children.
I'm posting this even though one part of me says my life is nowhere near as bad as Robster's. It warms the heart to see the solidarity of members on here.
I just wish i could say the same about my work colleagues!
I'm seriously thinking about throwing in the towel and getting the next ferry home!
I've had enough of the bullying, humiliation and s
t at work and from the ex/MIL.
I've made an apointment to see the area union rep next week and i'm going to have to get legal advice concerning the ex!
Last week was a fkin' nightnare!!!
The problems started last Monday when the ex turned up 30 mins late to drop off my daughter at the pré arranged normal drop off/pick up point. Alarm clock excuse. Cue huge jams and late arriving at school. Got an earful from the boss in front of my class waiting in the corridor for me to arrive. She won't respect the divorce contract and the MIL is itching for a fight in court!!!
Wednesday afternoon was a half day Inset at the 6th form where i work ( pedagogical training day. ) I was ordered to stay by the boss. Surprise, surprise i find a good 1/3 of the staff absent including all my English dept colleagues ( boss as well!). The headmistress presented the school's emergency security measures ( extremely important!!) I demanded to know why the head of English wasn't present for a meeting that obviously concerned everyone employed in the school!!!
I got shot down by the head who refused to discuss individual teachers cases in public!!!
No one backed me up!!!
Thursday i discover my boss told my colleagues not to go (she gave permission for one to go collect her new car ordered at showroom, another was authorized to go for an eye test). I had to cancel my lessons at a local uni ( just got part time work there!!!)
On Friday there was a mass in the school chapel for a retired member of staff who had passed away. In France all schools are secular ( only private schools have chapels being ex catholic schools) but going to mass is not compulsory.
I was told in strong terms by the head that all members of staff were expected to go to show solidarity and compassion.
The deceased was one of the head's old friends!!!! I knew her and got on reasonably well with her,even though she was a hard nosed chain smoking dragon.
I went to pay my respects anyway but was still curtly told my the head whilst entering the chapel, 'it's about time you showed some more respect for your colleagues. I expect you to pay your respects to X and represent your hard working English colleagues'!!!
My so called colleagues weren't present.They'd all been 'given' autorisation not to attend for differing reasons ( don't work on Thurs mornings/ aren't religious/ photocopying to do etc). I politely but firmly told the head that religion is not something you can force on people ( normally!!!) and France is a secular country. The head ignored me with a passive/aggressive stance.
I was furious and afterwards went straight to see the union rep. He tried to play down the seriousnous of the situation. The rep is new and doesn't want to rock the boat.
He won't do a thing to upset the head. He knows that the head was appointed by the local education authority and that she's been given the job of cutting costs ( forcing out experienced teachers and bringing in newly qualified ones)
When has it been compulsory to go to mass? France is a secular country anyway!!
In the afternoon my timetable had been changed ( my students knew but no one informed me). I got another dessing down in front of my class from the head. The head of year was informed, the students also, but i was left out!!!
Finally My boss had set up an apointment for me with a disgruntled parent at 6.30pm. I was leaving at 4.30 to collect my daughter when she literally screamed out of her office at me as i was heading for my car!!! In front of students off course!!!The parent was disgruntled because i'm making her precious child work hard and i don't take any crap from him!!! The boss supported the parent and the détention i gave the parent's son has been cancelled ( he got lippy with me after repeatedly refusing to move due to poor classroom behaviour!
The head of English refuses to support me when i sanction the selfish, spolit, undisciplined brats in the International Section. I've got loads of kids who want to learn and n
i'm not going to waste their time and mine on one rich kid! His mother couldn't even tell him to stop chewing gum during the meeting, so i did!!!!
My boss laughed it off!!!!
I followed the school disciplinary procedure but the boss won't sanction the detention ( he got let off with a warning!)
The parent lives in the same street as the boss and her husband owns the local golf club where the boss is a member!!!
To cap it all i've received an official warning about my conduct. Rudeness, insolence and lack of respect towards a senior member of staff ( the boss!)
I was told bluntly that i either i keep my head down and take the crap or i get out and my daughter won't then obviously have access to the quality education. Her mum would love to dump her in the local state school ( bad results, poor budget, gangs) just to spite me and avoid splitting the education costs.
My daughter loves going to the private school, has lots of friends, is top of her class and already speaks 3 languages.
Some people might call me a snob or middle class but i don't care. I just want the best for my daughter.
Anyway i'm going to go out and get pissed now!!!
I
I just wish i could say the same about my work colleagues!
I'm seriously thinking about throwing in the towel and getting the next ferry home!
I've had enough of the bullying, humiliation and s
t at work and from the ex/MIL.I've made an apointment to see the area union rep next week and i'm going to have to get legal advice concerning the ex!
Last week was a f
kin' nightnare!!!The problems started last Monday when the ex turned up 30 mins late to drop off my daughter at the pré arranged normal drop off/pick up point. Alarm clock excuse. Cue huge jams and late arriving at school. Got an earful from the boss in front of my class waiting in the corridor for me to arrive. She won't respect the divorce contract and the MIL is itching for a fight in court!!!
Wednesday afternoon was a half day Inset at the 6th form where i work ( pedagogical training day. ) I was ordered to stay by the boss. Surprise, surprise i find a good 1/3 of the staff absent including all my English dept colleagues ( boss as well!). The headmistress presented the school's emergency security measures ( extremely important!!) I demanded to know why the head of English wasn't present for a meeting that obviously concerned everyone employed in the school!!!
I got shot down by the head who refused to discuss individual teachers cases in public!!!
No one backed me up!!!
Thursday i discover my boss told my colleagues not to go (she gave permission for one to go collect her new car ordered at showroom, another was authorized to go for an eye test). I had to cancel my lessons at a local uni ( just got part time work there!!!)
On Friday there was a mass in the school chapel for a retired member of staff who had passed away. In France all schools are secular ( only private schools have chapels being ex catholic schools) but going to mass is not compulsory.
I was told in strong terms by the head that all members of staff were expected to go to show solidarity and compassion.
The deceased was one of the head's old friends!!!! I knew her and got on reasonably well with her,even though she was a hard nosed chain smoking dragon.
I went to pay my respects anyway but was still curtly told my the head whilst entering the chapel, 'it's about time you showed some more respect for your colleagues. I expect you to pay your respects to X and represent your hard working English colleagues'!!!
My so called colleagues weren't present.They'd all been 'given' autorisation not to attend for differing reasons ( don't work on Thurs mornings/ aren't religious/ photocopying to do etc). I politely but firmly told the head that religion is not something you can force on people ( normally!!!) and France is a secular country. The head ignored me with a passive/aggressive stance.
I was furious and afterwards went straight to see the union rep. He tried to play down the seriousnous of the situation. The rep is new and doesn't want to rock the boat.
He won't do a thing to upset the head. He knows that the head was appointed by the local education authority and that she's been given the job of cutting costs ( forcing out experienced teachers and bringing in newly qualified ones)
When has it been compulsory to go to mass? France is a secular country anyway!!
In the afternoon my timetable had been changed ( my students knew but no one informed me). I got another dessing down in front of my class from the head. The head of year was informed, the students also, but i was left out!!!
Finally My boss had set up an apointment for me with a disgruntled parent at 6.30pm. I was leaving at 4.30 to collect my daughter when she literally screamed out of her office at me as i was heading for my car!!! In front of students off course!!!The parent was disgruntled because i'm making her precious child work hard and i don't take any crap from him!!! The boss supported the parent and the détention i gave the parent's son has been cancelled ( he got lippy with me after repeatedly refusing to move due to poor classroom behaviour!
The head of English refuses to support me when i sanction the selfish, spolit, undisciplined brats in the International Section. I've got loads of kids who want to learn and n
i'm not going to waste their time and mine on one rich kid! His mother couldn't even tell him to stop chewing gum during the meeting, so i did!!!!
My boss laughed it off!!!!
I followed the school disciplinary procedure but the boss won't sanction the detention ( he got let off with a warning!)
The parent lives in the same street as the boss and her husband owns the local golf club where the boss is a member!!!
To cap it all i've received an official warning about my conduct. Rudeness, insolence and lack of respect towards a senior member of staff ( the boss!)
I was told bluntly that i either i keep my head down and take the crap or i get out and my daughter won't then obviously have access to the quality education. Her mum would love to dump her in the local state school ( bad results, poor budget, gangs) just to spite me and avoid splitting the education costs.
My daughter loves going to the private school, has lots of friends, is top of her class and already speaks 3 languages.
Some people might call me a snob or middle class but i don't care. I just want the best for my daughter.
Anyway i'm going to go out and get pissed now!!!
I
Edited by rosbif77 on Saturday 24th September 18:18
Just out of A&E.
Went out last night. The lady i've seen a few times dumped me on Twitter ( very modern way of ending things and avoids explaining).
All the stuff she told me was pure rubbish about leaving her ex and his money! She's gone back to him and his huge house and Porsche ( old's the word. He's 56 and she's 37).
She even put private photos on facebook!!!
The bank won't give me a mortgage due to my low salary ( dropped 500€ month /net since 2014!!!)
I'm paying over 800€ month for a 2 bed flat. My kids love it and i feel happy there.
I can't invest in a flat so it's wasted money!
Every bank has turned me down.
I have to dip into my savings every month!
My car needs all the shocks/discs replacing. Big bill!!!
I'm fed up with drivers treating other road users as targets!
Thursday morning rush hour. Doing 90kmh( speed limit). Driver behind can't overtake.
At roundabout she mounts the grass verge, undertakes, brakes suddenly to block me then cuts up driver already on roundabout.
Friday tanker driver pulls out at last minute from side road on dual carraigeway ( 110 kmh) causing me to hit brakes so hard ABS works!!!
He then straddles both lanes at 50 kmh for 1km to stop me overtaking!!!
Friday evening motorcylist can't get past me on narrow country road. He flashes me. I wasn't going to move over due to narrowness and ditch close to the road. There's a long line of traffic in front of me anyway!!
He overtakes causing lorry to brake coming other way pulls alongside me and kicks my car door, pulls out something metallic and throws it at my window.
Before i can grab my phone to photo him he accelerates and at next junction jumps the red light!!!!
Friday near my home town not one but three cars jump the red lights i'm stopped at, the last driver throws the contents of his ash tray out the window!!!
Sat morning on way to gym woman in DS4 doesn't like me driving at 70kmh in town, can't overtake so at next red light her boyfriend jumps out and totally flips. He's screaming that no one holds up his girlfriend because he'll burn down their house and slit their throat!!!
She then overtakes in the town centre.
Later on i pop into the chemists. She's the
assistant pharmacist. I confront her and she denies the whole thing smiling sweetly!!!
What turns people into psychotic enraged drivers? Why do they use their cars to intimidate fellow drivers?
I'd had enough so i drunk too much and took too many paracétamol. I got into à argument with 2 guys who were pushing around/ insulting 2 women outside the cinema. One tried to hit me so all the anger inside me burst out and i decked him. His mate kicked me from behind and as i went down kneed me.
The women didn't bother to help me and even called me a 'bloody anglais'.
I panicked and called a taxi to take me to local. A&E.
The women called the police and blamed me for the disturbance!
Went out last night. The lady i've seen a few times dumped me on Twitter ( very modern way of ending things and avoids explaining).
All the stuff she told me was pure rubbish about leaving her ex and his money! She's gone back to him and his huge house and Porsche ( old's the word. He's 56 and she's 37).
She even put private photos on facebook!!!
The bank won't give me a mortgage due to my low salary ( dropped 500€ month /net since 2014!!!)
I'm paying over 800€ month for a 2 bed flat. My kids love it and i feel happy there.
I can't invest in a flat so it's wasted money!
Every bank has turned me down.
I have to dip into my savings every month!
My car needs all the shocks/discs replacing. Big bill!!!
I'm fed up with drivers treating other road users as targets!
Thursday morning rush hour. Doing 90kmh( speed limit). Driver behind can't overtake.
At roundabout she mounts the grass verge, undertakes, brakes suddenly to block me then cuts up driver already on roundabout.
Friday tanker driver pulls out at last minute from side road on dual carraigeway ( 110 kmh) causing me to hit brakes so hard ABS works!!!
He then straddles both lanes at 50 kmh for 1km to stop me overtaking!!!
Friday evening motorcylist can't get past me on narrow country road. He flashes me. I wasn't going to move over due to narrowness and ditch close to the road. There's a long line of traffic in front of me anyway!!
He overtakes causing lorry to brake coming other way pulls alongside me and kicks my car door, pulls out something metallic and throws it at my window.
Before i can grab my phone to photo him he accelerates and at next junction jumps the red light!!!!
Friday near my home town not one but three cars jump the red lights i'm stopped at, the last driver throws the contents of his ash tray out the window!!!
Sat morning on way to gym woman in DS4 doesn't like me driving at 70kmh in town, can't overtake so at next red light her boyfriend jumps out and totally flips. He's screaming that no one holds up his girlfriend because he'll burn down their house and slit their throat!!!
She then overtakes in the town centre.
Later on i pop into the chemists. She's the
assistant pharmacist. I confront her and she denies the whole thing smiling sweetly!!!
What turns people into psychotic enraged drivers? Why do they use their cars to intimidate fellow drivers?
I'd had enough so i drunk too much and took too many paracétamol. I got into à argument with 2 guys who were pushing around/ insulting 2 women outside the cinema. One tried to hit me so all the anger inside me burst out and i decked him. His mate kicked me from behind and as i went down kneed me.
The women didn't bother to help me and even called me a 'bloody anglais'.
I panicked and called a taxi to take me to local. A&E.
The women called the police and blamed me for the disturbance!
The good things that happened last week:
1.my daughter told me she loved me everyday and on Friday said i was the best dad in the world.
2. My sixth form bac class all passed their Cambridge EFL exams ( i prepared them). Another 100% pass for my students.
3. I went to the gym 3x and beat my record for the cross bike ( 50 mins).
4. I lifted 50kg in said gym. 3x 20 reps.
5.I wrote 2600 words of my manuscript ( i prefer to write since i can get the words down faster when i'm inspired!)
6. I bought the trainee maths teacher a coffee, calmed her down and reassured her ( she'd had a bad lesson and her colleagues found it funny!)
7. I braked for a hedgehog that crossed the road Tuesday night!!!!
8.I made my first cup cakes for my daughter!
9. I advised a student i teach to apply for Yale uni. She's only 15 but aleady in year 11!!!
10. I read Max Hasting's ' All hell let loose' in one week!
Finally, i managed to sleep 6 hours weds. Normally it's only 4-5 per night.
1.my daughter told me she loved me everyday and on Friday said i was the best dad in the world.
2. My sixth form bac class all passed their Cambridge EFL exams ( i prepared them). Another 100% pass for my students.
3. I went to the gym 3x and beat my record for the cross bike ( 50 mins).
4. I lifted 50kg in said gym. 3x 20 reps.
5.I wrote 2600 words of my manuscript ( i prefer to write since i can get the words down faster when i'm inspired!)
6. I bought the trainee maths teacher a coffee, calmed her down and reassured her ( she'd had a bad lesson and her colleagues found it funny!)
7. I braked for a hedgehog that crossed the road Tuesday night!!!!
8.I made my first cup cakes for my daughter!
9. I advised a student i teach to apply for Yale uni. She's only 15 but aleady in year 11!!!
10. I read Max Hasting's ' All hell let loose' in one week!
Finally, i managed to sleep 6 hours weds. Normally it's only 4-5 per night.
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 25th September 16:05
rosbif77 said:
The good things that happened last week:
1.my daughter told me she loved me everyday and on Friday said i was the best dad in the world.
2. My sixth form bac class all passed their Cambridge EFL exams ( i prepared them). Another 100% pass for my students.
3. I went to the gym 3x and beat my record for the cross bike ( 50 mins).
4. I lifted 50kg in said gym. 3x 20 reps.
5.I wrote 2600 words of my manuscript ( i prefer to write since i can get the words down faster when i'm inspired!)
6. I bought the trainee maths teacher a coffee, calmed her down and reassured her ( she'd had a bad lesson and her colleagues found it funny!)
7. I braked for a hedgehog that crossed the road Tuesday night!!!!
8.I made my first cup cakes for my daughter!
9. I advised a student i teach to apply for Yale uni. She's only 15 but aleady in year 11!!!
10. I read Max Hasting's ' All hell let loose' in one week!
Finally, i managed to sleep 6 hours weds. Normally it's only 4-5 per night.
Sorry been away.1.my daughter told me she loved me everyday and on Friday said i was the best dad in the world.
2. My sixth form bac class all passed their Cambridge EFL exams ( i prepared them). Another 100% pass for my students.
3. I went to the gym 3x and beat my record for the cross bike ( 50 mins).
4. I lifted 50kg in said gym. 3x 20 reps.
5.I wrote 2600 words of my manuscript ( i prefer to write since i can get the words down faster when i'm inspired!)
6. I bought the trainee maths teacher a coffee, calmed her down and reassured her ( she'd had a bad lesson and her colleagues found it funny!)
7. I braked for a hedgehog that crossed the road Tuesday night!!!!
8.I made my first cup cakes for my daughter!
9. I advised a student i teach to apply for Yale uni. She's only 15 but aleady in year 11!!!
10. I read Max Hasting's ' All hell let loose' in one week!
Finally, i managed to sleep 6 hours weds. Normally it's only 4-5 per night.
Edited by rosbif77 on Sunday 25th September 16:05
Some good positives there
Regarding work have you tried just going along with what these people say?
I am sure they know you will react and enjoy having a reason to cut your pay or make you even more upset.
Going to the union makes no difference so perhaps keeping your enemies close would be a different way of dealing with them.
Next time they come to you to have a go grit your teeth and say "ok that's fine" and carry on.
Buy the head a coffee and say hope you are not too stressed today and walk away.
They will soon be totally perplexed at why you have changed your emotions. They will not be able to handle it.
Start making sure when you arrive at school say good morning to everyone and keep smiling all day.
This change in your persona will help you long term and also stop these people picking on you as all you do is smile.
Yes this sounds strange but give it a go. You will be very surprised by the results.
Do the same with your ex too. And her nutty mum. Hitting back with a low energy will make there arguments look stupid.
This is how I overcame issues with my ex when in court. Being rational and calm gets results you would not expect
Hi there. Thanks for replying. I was beginning to think that this thread was getting a bit long in the tooth and had run out of steam!!!!!
Seriously though i'm making a real effort to think positively. When faced with a negative situation i mentally turn it around to view it from another angle. Why's my boss giving me a hard time? Because she can't have kids and is secretly jealous.
I bought the headmistress a coffee at the staff coffee machine last Wednesday. She said thankyou, other teachers were itching to buy her one but i was quickest on the draw, but then she talked over me when i started a conversation about coffee in France and ignored me the rest of the week!!!
The parent teachers committee basically told her to allow a native speaking English teacher to go on the 6th form trip to New York end October. The head of the committee wanted me to go since i teach the students. Her friend, my boss the head of English is going but her friends in the school aren't allowed ( school accountant, maths teacher, sports teacher etc) as they don't teach the students going on the trip.
Consequently, I've been cold shouldered by a large majority of the teaching staff since my participation on this trip was confirmed by the head of the parent/ teachers association.
I say hello each morning to the said teachers i bump into but most ignore me. They don't even acknowledge my prescence and won't shake my hand even when i offer mine first!
Strange things have been happening lately as well;
I had coca cola poured on my car windows and blobs of chewing gum stuck to the windscreen wipers whilst my car was parked in the 6th form car park. Someone had also informed the school guardian that i was seen driving dangerously into the car park. I got a ticking off!
I put up a message on the staff notice board in the teacher's room listing the various incidents with a note warning the culprits of my intention to inform the parent's/teachers association.
Someone drew a pig's head with blood dripping from it and ink spots all over the note!!!!!
Someone else had put glue into my locker in the staff room so i couldn't get into it. The school technician managed to open it and found 4 crushed coffee cups and a load of empty crisp packets/chocolate bar wrappers inside!!
Chocolate was also smeared on the door handle of my main classroom!!!!
I left a pile of fresh photocopies on a table in the staff room whilst i popped to the toilet, and oops someone then dumped coffee all over them in the 2 minutes i was absent!!!
My daughter spotted some drawing pins and nails right by my front tyres on Monday evening. They had obviously been placed there since they were standing on their heads with the spikes pointing upwards!!! Just a coincidence maybe!!!!!!
The headmistress told me to take photos and promised she would look into it!!!
Yesterday evening as i was leaving the 6th form i found the contents of a car's ashtray had been emptied onto the bonnet of my car along with some well used/sticky tissues jamned under the windscreen wipers!!!!!!
A group of teachers chatting in the car park had of course seen nothing suspicious!!!!
I've noted down everything and taken photos.
Seriously though i'm making a real effort to think positively. When faced with a negative situation i mentally turn it around to view it from another angle. Why's my boss giving me a hard time? Because she can't have kids and is secretly jealous.
I bought the headmistress a coffee at the staff coffee machine last Wednesday. She said thankyou, other teachers were itching to buy her one but i was quickest on the draw, but then she talked over me when i started a conversation about coffee in France and ignored me the rest of the week!!!
The parent teachers committee basically told her to allow a native speaking English teacher to go on the 6th form trip to New York end October. The head of the committee wanted me to go since i teach the students. Her friend, my boss the head of English is going but her friends in the school aren't allowed ( school accountant, maths teacher, sports teacher etc) as they don't teach the students going on the trip.
Consequently, I've been cold shouldered by a large majority of the teaching staff since my participation on this trip was confirmed by the head of the parent/ teachers association.
I say hello each morning to the said teachers i bump into but most ignore me. They don't even acknowledge my prescence and won't shake my hand even when i offer mine first!
Strange things have been happening lately as well;
I had coca cola poured on my car windows and blobs of chewing gum stuck to the windscreen wipers whilst my car was parked in the 6th form car park. Someone had also informed the school guardian that i was seen driving dangerously into the car park. I got a ticking off!
I put up a message on the staff notice board in the teacher's room listing the various incidents with a note warning the culprits of my intention to inform the parent's/teachers association.
Someone drew a pig's head with blood dripping from it and ink spots all over the note!!!!!
Someone else had put glue into my locker in the staff room so i couldn't get into it. The school technician managed to open it and found 4 crushed coffee cups and a load of empty crisp packets/chocolate bar wrappers inside!!
Chocolate was also smeared on the door handle of my main classroom!!!!
I left a pile of fresh photocopies on a table in the staff room whilst i popped to the toilet, and oops someone then dumped coffee all over them in the 2 minutes i was absent!!!
My daughter spotted some drawing pins and nails right by my front tyres on Monday evening. They had obviously been placed there since they were standing on their heads with the spikes pointing upwards!!! Just a coincidence maybe!!!!!!
The headmistress told me to take photos and promised she would look into it!!!
Yesterday evening as i was leaving the 6th form i found the contents of a car's ashtray had been emptied onto the bonnet of my car along with some well used/sticky tissues jamned under the windscreen wipers!!!!!!
A group of teachers chatting in the car park had of course seen nothing suspicious!!!!
I've noted down everything and taken photos.
Edited by rosbif77 on Saturday 1st October 08:08
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