Emotional eating and being unlucky in life?
Discussion
Have to say that I agree with all of the above Rosbif. Material things are no replacement for you being in their lives.
I am recently married and should be the happiest that I have been in years. Have overcome my debts and fought back from the brink due to a promotion and additional money.
Am I happy? Nope. Don't enjoy the job and am at a point where I can't face going in some days. The counselling has highlighted that I am very self critical and can be self destructive in some respects. I have discussed with my OH and am currently looking at taking a backward step to alleviate the pressure and stress that I am currently carrying - the material side of it simply isn't worth the detriment to my mental wellbeing
I am recently married and should be the happiest that I have been in years. Have overcome my debts and fought back from the brink due to a promotion and additional money.
Am I happy? Nope. Don't enjoy the job and am at a point where I can't face going in some days. The counselling has highlighted that I am very self critical and can be self destructive in some respects. I have discussed with my OH and am currently looking at taking a backward step to alleviate the pressure and stress that I am currently carrying - the material side of it simply isn't worth the detriment to my mental wellbeing
Pieman68 said:
Have to say that I agree with all of the above Rosbif. Material things are no replacement for you being in their lives.
I am recently married and should be the happiest that I have been in years. Have overcome my debts and fought back from the brink due to a promotion and additional money.
Am I happy? Nope. Don't enjoy the job and am at a point where I can't face going in some days. The counselling has highlighted that I am very self critical and can be self destructive in some respects. I have discussed with my OH and am currently looking at taking a backward step to alleviate the pressure and stress that I am currently carrying - the material side of it simply isn't worth the detriment to my mental wellbeing
Great you are making this decision rather than a stress related illness making it for you.I am recently married and should be the happiest that I have been in years. Have overcome my debts and fought back from the brink due to a promotion and additional money.
Am I happy? Nope. Don't enjoy the job and am at a point where I can't face going in some days. The counselling has highlighted that I am very self critical and can be self destructive in some respects. I have discussed with my OH and am currently looking at taking a backward step to alleviate the pressure and stress that I am currently carrying - the material side of it simply isn't worth the detriment to my mental wellbeing
Have know a number of people who worked themselves into a grave and left a family they were clearly doing the hard work for.
Each ones states they would pay anything to have their love one back.
Very sad circumstances to witness so do whatever you can to be healthy and happy
Thanks for the advice everyone. I realise i'm at a crossroads in my life. In fact i've been standing at the crossroads since getting divorced in February 2015. I've been putting all my time, energy, finances into my children because i love them so much, out of guilt for the suffering the divorce caused, and because having lost everything material with the divorce the only thing i have left are my kids.
Those on here who've been through the experience know what it feels like to be treated like s
t by the in laws, long term close friends who choose sides and even colleagues who treat you like you've got an infectious disease!!!
All my life i've been a loner. I really don't trust people and hide this solitary existence by constantly cracking jokes, making my students laugh, being really at ease in public or when i meet new people.
Outwardly others tell me i come across as friendly, accessible, confident and easy to get to know. Inwardly i'm constantly worrying about how people view me. Total lack of self esteem.
So many times i was close to being drowned, beaten to a pulp, crushed whilst
at school, or so many things have gone wrong at the wrong time, or people i loved have died, that i just believe i'm jinxed. Ok perhaps I'm exaggerating but all i want is my kids to have a better life than me.
I was feeling so down today i didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Tonight i said to myself ' stop feeling so bloody miserable'. I went to carrefour and bought myself a ticket for the Mondial de l'automobile (Paris car show). I'm going Saturday.
Just cooked a steak, some delicious veggies, now blasting out some hard rock ( Def Leppard!!).
That'll clear the mind!!!!!
Those on here who've been through the experience know what it feels like to be treated like s
t by the in laws, long term close friends who choose sides and even colleagues who treat you like you've got an infectious disease!!!All my life i've been a loner. I really don't trust people and hide this solitary existence by constantly cracking jokes, making my students laugh, being really at ease in public or when i meet new people.
Outwardly others tell me i come across as friendly, accessible, confident and easy to get to know. Inwardly i'm constantly worrying about how people view me. Total lack of self esteem.
So many times i was close to being drowned, beaten to a pulp, crushed whilst
at school, or so many things have gone wrong at the wrong time, or people i loved have died, that i just believe i'm jinxed. Ok perhaps I'm exaggerating but all i want is my kids to have a better life than me.
I was feeling so down today i didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Tonight i said to myself ' stop feeling so bloody miserable'. I went to carrefour and bought myself a ticket for the Mondial de l'automobile (Paris car show). I'm going Saturday.
Just cooked a steak, some delicious veggies, now blasting out some hard rock ( Def Leppard!!).
That'll clear the mind!!!!!
Edited by rosbif77 on Thursday 6th October 20:10
fking hell, that is harsh. I know all about the feeling you get when you have passions that you want to pursue and being told by overbearing parents that what you want to do (drama, music, art etc) is OK for a hobby but will never get you anywhere in life. In my case the 'magic bullet' was to study Politics, Economics or Law. I was also strongly discouraged from many things in a kind of covert way, including associating with members of the opposite sex as it might 'distract me from my studies' - I much later found out my mum had got pregnant as a teenager and been forced to have the child in secret then give it up for adoption, so basically she was terrified I'd knock some girl up. The end result of this was that I was completely awkward round women (despite being popular with them) and if any of them tried to get close to me I'd put a load of walls up and end up knocking them back. Which took me until my 30s to learn how to undo. But I can only imagine how gutwrenching being about to propose to someone and having them die on that same occasion could be. FWIW I've also struggled with my weight since moving to the UK from warmer climes, I feel like my metabolism is in shutdown for 8 months out of 12. I'd have moved somewhere warmer ages ago were it not for various commitments.
king hell, that is harsh. I know all about the feeling you get when you have passions that you want to pursue and being told by overbearing parents that what you want to do (drama, music, art etc) is OK for a hobby but will never get you anywhere in life. In my case the 'magic bullet' was to study Politics, Economics or Law. I was also strongly discouraged from many things in a kind of covert way, including associating with members of the opposite sex as it might 'distract me from my studies' - I much later found out my mum had got pregnant as a teenager and been forced to have the child in secret then give it up for adoption, so basically she was terrified I'd knock some girl up. The end result of this was that I was completely awkward round women (despite being popular with them) and if any of them tried to get close to me I'd put a load of walls up and end up knocking them back. Which took me until my 30s to learn how to undo. But I can only imagine how gutwrenching being about to propose to someone and having them die on that same occasion could be. FWIW I've also struggled with my weight since moving to the UK from warmer climes, I feel like my metabolism is in shutdown for 8 months out of 12. I'd have moved somewhere warmer ages ago were it not for various commitments. My dad did everything possible to put me off wanting to be a writer!! I remember every Friday night my dad would take me and my sister to the local public library. I would borrow the maximum number of books allowed: action adventure, westerns, thrillers, anything that would allow me to escape for a couple of hours everynight from the daily nightmare of school!! I was always tired!!Frantically reading with a torch under the bedsheets, scribbling away in my small notebook i kept hidden under the floorboard!!!!
rosbif77 said:
Thanks for the advice everyone. I realise i'm at a crossroads in my life. In fact i've been standing at the crossroads since getting divorced in February 2015. I've been putting all my time, energy, finances into my children because i love them so much, out of guilt for the suffering the divorce caused, and because having lost everything material with the divorce the only thing i have left are my kids.
Those on here who've been through the experience know what it feels like to be treated like st by the in laws, long term close friends who choose sides and even colleagues who treat you like you've got an infectious disease!!!
All my life i've been a loner. I really don't trust people and hide this solitary existence by constantly cracking jokes, making my students laugh, being really at ease in public or when i meet new people.
Outwardly others tell me i come across as friendly, accessible, confident and easy to get to know. Inwardly i'm constantly worrying about how people view me. Total lack of self esteem.
So many times i was close to being drowned, beaten to a pulp, crushed whilst
at school, or so many things have gone wrong at the wrong time, or people i loved have died, that i just believe i'm jinxed. Ok perhaps I'm exaggerating but all i want is my kids to have a better life than me.
I was feeling so down today i didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Tonight i said to myself ' stop feeling so bloody miserable'. I went to carrefour and bought myself a ticket for the Mondial de l'automobile (Paris car show). I'm going Saturday.
Just cooked a steak, some delicious veggies, now blasting out some hard rock ( Def Leppard!!).
That'll clear the mind!!!!!
One huge issue is you are trying to protect your kids. Why not disclose to them what has happened in the past to you?Those on here who've been through the experience know what it feels like to be treated like s
t by the in laws, long term close friends who choose sides and even colleagues who treat you like you've got an infectious disease!!!All my life i've been a loner. I really don't trust people and hide this solitary existence by constantly cracking jokes, making my students laugh, being really at ease in public or when i meet new people.
Outwardly others tell me i come across as friendly, accessible, confident and easy to get to know. Inwardly i'm constantly worrying about how people view me. Total lack of self esteem.
So many times i was close to being drowned, beaten to a pulp, crushed whilst
at school, or so many things have gone wrong at the wrong time, or people i loved have died, that i just believe i'm jinxed. Ok perhaps I'm exaggerating but all i want is my kids to have a better life than me.
I was feeling so down today i didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Tonight i said to myself ' stop feeling so bloody miserable'. I went to carrefour and bought myself a ticket for the Mondial de l'automobile (Paris car show). I'm going Saturday.
Just cooked a steak, some delicious veggies, now blasting out some hard rock ( Def Leppard!!).
That'll clear the mind!!!!!
Edited by rosbif77 on Thursday 6th October 20:10
Also ask them about what you can do to progress forward. Obviously never say anything about their mum or the wicked witch MIL but you will be amazed how much children can understand and help you.
At least this way they can never turn around and say you were never 100% honest with them. Unless they know the full picture they will never understand why your personality is in such a way.
If you think they can't see it you will be mistaken. Many think protecting their kids is the answer but it can land up an issue for them in later life.
Honest sit them down and say what is happening at work etc. You will feel much better and they will feel like adults being told
Feeling great tonight. I managed to buy 3 tickets online to see Coldplay in concert in Paris at the Stade de France on 15th July 2017.
I had to wait 3hours in an online queue but got 3 excellent seats in the end. I decided to treat myself and take my 2 kids!
180000 tickets sold out in a couple of hours!!!!
I'll be 50 next April so i'm going to make a list of things i want to do!!!
I had to wait 3hours in an online queue but got 3 excellent seats in the end. I decided to treat myself and take my 2 kids!
180000 tickets sold out in a couple of hours!!!!
I'll be 50 next April so i'm going to make a list of things i want to do!!!
rosbif77 said:
Feeling great tonight. I managed to buy 3 tickets online to see Coldplay in concert in Paris at the Stade de France on 15th July 2017.
I had to wait 3hours in an online queue but got 3 excellent seats in the end. I decided to treat myself and take my 2 kids!
180000 tickets sold out in a couple of hours!!!!
I'll be 50 next April so i'm going to make a list of things i want to do!!!
Fantastic positive step. I had to wait 3hours in an online queue but got 3 excellent seats in the end. I decided to treat myself and take my 2 kids!
180000 tickets sold out in a couple of hours!!!!
I'll be 50 next April so i'm going to make a list of things i want to do!!!
Enjoy the motor show too.
Absolutely fantastic day yesterday at the Paris motor show. The wait was predictably long to get in, despite having already bought a ticket, due to the extra security security measures compared to previous years.
I made a bee line straight for the Ferrari stand and i got on!!! Magical. I managed to get a business card from one of the sales reps on the stand so i used that to get on the Maserati one too!
After that the other highlights were the Jaguar/Land Rover stand, Nissan to check out the GTR up close, Tesla, and Mercedes with the AMG models and a massive Maybach concept car. The Renault concept car was also pretty impressive as was the Clio RS 16.
The Lexus and Infiniti stands were the best for the friendly, approachable staff and they were also extremely polite and efficient ( unlike some of the premium German brands).
I found the Lexus GSF and the new Infiniti model extremely comfortable. Probably because i'm approaching the half century so more comfort and less rock hard sports seats!
I find it amazing the technology that modern cars have. Back in the 80's and 90's you were lucky to get electric windows and heated seats!
Another positive:
My work colleagues received notification Friday that the new president of the education company who employs us all in the private school will be cutting everyone's salary by 25%. The reason given: accounting black hole plus drop in student numbers plus increased overheads ( social charges and diverse company taxes).
I got informed that my salary won't finally drop to 1700 e but to 1850!! Better than nothing i suppose.My daughter will stay be entitled to free schooling ( 4000 euros/year fees normally)
That means i won't be among the lowest paid since everyone will more or less be paid between 1600 and 2000 euros/month.
Positive number 2: The ex has coughed up the money she owed me. She probably realized i wasn't going to back down and was prepared to state my case before the family affairs judge.
Final point: I went to my local gym this morning and did just under 3 hours of cardio, weights and stretching. Felt great afterwards.
I made a bee line straight for the Ferrari stand and i got on!!! Magical. I managed to get a business card from one of the sales reps on the stand so i used that to get on the Maserati one too!
After that the other highlights were the Jaguar/Land Rover stand, Nissan to check out the GTR up close, Tesla, and Mercedes with the AMG models and a massive Maybach concept car. The Renault concept car was also pretty impressive as was the Clio RS 16.
The Lexus and Infiniti stands were the best for the friendly, approachable staff and they were also extremely polite and efficient ( unlike some of the premium German brands).
I found the Lexus GSF and the new Infiniti model extremely comfortable. Probably because i'm approaching the half century so more comfort and less rock hard sports seats!
I find it amazing the technology that modern cars have. Back in the 80's and 90's you were lucky to get electric windows and heated seats!
Another positive:
My work colleagues received notification Friday that the new president of the education company who employs us all in the private school will be cutting everyone's salary by 25%. The reason given: accounting black hole plus drop in student numbers plus increased overheads ( social charges and diverse company taxes).
I got informed that my salary won't finally drop to 1700 e but to 1850!! Better than nothing i suppose.My daughter will stay be entitled to free schooling ( 4000 euros/year fees normally)
That means i won't be among the lowest paid since everyone will more or less be paid between 1600 and 2000 euros/month.
Positive number 2: The ex has coughed up the money she owed me. She probably realized i wasn't going to back down and was prepared to state my case before the family affairs judge.
Final point: I went to my local gym this morning and did just under 3 hours of cardio, weights and stretching. Felt great afterwards.
[quote=rosbif77]Absolutely fantastic day yesterday at the Paris motor show. The wait was predictably long to get in, despite having already bought a ticket, due to the extra security security measures compared to previous years.
I made a bee line straight for the Ferrari stand and i got on!!! Magical. I managed to get a business card from one of the sales reps on the stand so i used that to get on the Maserati one too!
After that the other highlights were the Jaguar/Land Rover stand, Nissan to check out the GTR up close, Tesla, and Mercedes with the AMG models and a massive Maybach concept car. The Renault concept car was also pretty impressive as was the Clio RS 16.
The Lexus and Infiniti stands were the best for the friendly, approachable staff and they were also extremely polite and efficient ( unlike some of the premium German brands).
I found the Lexus GSF and the new Infiniti model extremely comfortable. Probably because i'm approaching the half century so more comfort and less rock hard sports seats!
I find it amazing the technology that modern cars have. Back in the 80's and 90's you were lucky to get electric windows and heated seats!
Another positive:
My work colleagues received notification Friday that the new president of the education company who employs us all in the private school will be cutting everyone's salary by 25%. The reason given: accounting black hole plus drop in student numbers plus increased overheads ( social charges and diverse company taxes).
I got informed that my salary won't finally drop to 1700 e but to 1850!! Better than nothing i suppose.My daughter will stay be entitled to free schooling ( 4000 euros/year fees normally)
That means i won't be among the lowest paid since everyone will more or less be paid between 1600 and 2000 euros/month.
Positive number 2: The ex has coughed up the money she owed me. She probably realized i wasn't going to back down and was prepared to state my case before the family affairs judge.
Final point: I went to my local gym this morning and did just under 3 hours of cardio, weights and stretching. Felt great afterwards.
WOW what a turn around in fortunes.
Do you think being of a more positive mind has given you a positive experience?
You went to the motor show and booked cold play tickets which put your energy in a better place. Then all of a sudden your life has a positive twist.
Perhaps focusing on YOURSELF helps your whole situation
I made a bee line straight for the Ferrari stand and i got on!!! Magical. I managed to get a business card from one of the sales reps on the stand so i used that to get on the Maserati one too!
After that the other highlights were the Jaguar/Land Rover stand, Nissan to check out the GTR up close, Tesla, and Mercedes with the AMG models and a massive Maybach concept car. The Renault concept car was also pretty impressive as was the Clio RS 16.
The Lexus and Infiniti stands were the best for the friendly, approachable staff and they were also extremely polite and efficient ( unlike some of the premium German brands).
I found the Lexus GSF and the new Infiniti model extremely comfortable. Probably because i'm approaching the half century so more comfort and less rock hard sports seats!
I find it amazing the technology that modern cars have. Back in the 80's and 90's you were lucky to get electric windows and heated seats!
Another positive:
My work colleagues received notification Friday that the new president of the education company who employs us all in the private school will be cutting everyone's salary by 25%. The reason given: accounting black hole plus drop in student numbers plus increased overheads ( social charges and diverse company taxes).
I got informed that my salary won't finally drop to 1700 e but to 1850!! Better than nothing i suppose.My daughter will stay be entitled to free schooling ( 4000 euros/year fees normally)
That means i won't be among the lowest paid since everyone will more or less be paid between 1600 and 2000 euros/month.
Positive number 2: The ex has coughed up the money she owed me. She probably realized i wasn't going to back down and was prepared to state my case before the family affairs judge.
Final point: I went to my local gym this morning and did just under 3 hours of cardio, weights and stretching. Felt great afterwards.
WOW what a turn around in fortunes.
Do you think being of a more positive mind has given you a positive experience?
You went to the motor show and booked cold play tickets which put your energy in a better place. Then all of a sudden your life has a positive twist.
Perhaps focusing on YOURSELF helps your whole situation
All good stuff there, just be careful with the Gym, three hours is a long time, take it easy and dont pull/strain anything !
I try to do between 40 minutes and an hour in the gym but fairly often and then sometimes extend it if not in a rush with a swim, i find if I turn it into a two hour marathon it puts me off going.
I try to do between 40 minutes and an hour in the gym but fairly often and then sometimes extend it if not in a rush with a swim, i find if I turn it into a two hour marathon it puts me off going.
J4CKO said:
All good stuff there, just be careful with the Gym, three hours is a long time, take it easy and dont pull/strain anything !
I try to do between 40 minutes and an hour in the gym but fairly often and then sometimes extend it if not in a rush with a swim, i find if I turn it into a two hour marathon it puts me off going.
Totally agree with this statement.I try to do between 40 minutes and an hour in the gym but fairly often and then sometimes extend it if not in a rush with a swim, i find if I turn it into a two hour marathon it puts me off going.
One hour is more than enough. Just make sure you are taking less breaks.
Hi ELUSIVEJIM. Thanks for asking. I'm fine, in fact i'm full of positive energy. Just got back from New York where i spent a week with 50 sixth formers. There were 5 adults and the said 50 teenagers ( aged 15-18 ) on the school trip, so with an incredibly packed schedule of visits, staying in the Hostelling International Central park, plus the time difference and the jet lag i'm physically exhausted but mentally on a high. Wow what an experience!
The energy and dynamism you feel just walking around Manhattan and Brooklyn is just so infectious. You can't help but feel that anything is possible. I'm glad to be back to see my kids again, son back from university and daughter eager to spend a week with me. However, i could definitely imagine myself living and working over there. There are endless possibilities. Ok life can be tough and the daily pace is frenetic but it's a place where you have to get off your backside and get things done yourself. I feel like i'm stuck in a rut, going nowhere in France. The bottom line is that if my daughter was already at sixth form i'd be seriously considering moving away.
I believe someone posted an earlier comment in this thread about me needing a change of scenery and not especially a change of job.
I spent a lot of time just thinking things over in New York. Having trouble sleeping i'd regularly get up about 4am and go out for a walk in and around Central Park or even take the subway downtown. I ended up meeting and chatting to numerous New Yorkers and chewing over life. They all made the same comment, get out of France as soon as possible and start a new life elsewhere! I met a firefighter who survived 9/11 and then with his disability allowance set up a deli store. Less stress and danger!
I'm still not sure what line of work i could do though if i changed scenery.
The energy and dynamism you feel just walking around Manhattan and Brooklyn is just so infectious. You can't help but feel that anything is possible. I'm glad to be back to see my kids again, son back from university and daughter eager to spend a week with me. However, i could definitely imagine myself living and working over there. There are endless possibilities. Ok life can be tough and the daily pace is frenetic but it's a place where you have to get off your backside and get things done yourself. I feel like i'm stuck in a rut, going nowhere in France. The bottom line is that if my daughter was already at sixth form i'd be seriously considering moving away.
I believe someone posted an earlier comment in this thread about me needing a change of scenery and not especially a change of job.
I spent a lot of time just thinking things over in New York. Having trouble sleeping i'd regularly get up about 4am and go out for a walk in and around Central Park or even take the subway downtown. I ended up meeting and chatting to numerous New Yorkers and chewing over life. They all made the same comment, get out of France as soon as possible and start a new life elsewhere! I met a firefighter who survived 9/11 and then with his disability allowance set up a deli store. Less stress and danger!
I'm still not sure what line of work i could do though if i changed scenery.
Fantastic to hear your enthusiasm and positivity Rosbif
Just to go back to some of my earlier posts - Although initially sceptical I would have to say that I would recommend the psychotherapy that I am currently doing. Although I think that you are probably more conscious of the issues that cause your current mental state/overeating etc than I am, the process has uncovered some massive things in my past that I have suppressed and never dealt with
Just to go back to some of my earlier posts - Although initially sceptical I would have to say that I would recommend the psychotherapy that I am currently doing. Although I think that you are probably more conscious of the issues that cause your current mental state/overeating etc than I am, the process has uncovered some massive things in my past that I have suppressed and never dealt with
It's definitely my psychological state that effects my eating habits. Ex, in New York i was on a permanent high for the whole week, ate a huge breakfast then survived on snacks during the day. I lost 2 kg ( miles of walking plus constantly dealing with issues etc). Back home since yesterday and i'm feeling depressed. Hence the overwhelming desire to over eat!
My flat is spacious, comfortable, and warm. However, there's an eery silence and it's empty. My kids have gone off for a week's holiday with their mum but i get them for the second week of the half term hols.
Coming back from the high energy, hustle and bustle of New York to the depressingly familiar surroundings of my home town ,and the ex, has just put a downer on life!
I want to get out of here. I decided when i was i New York that i absolutely don't want to be living in the same flat, in the same town, or working in the same school here in France 5 years down the line when my daughter's passed her baccalaureate!!!!
Now i've made that decision the next one is harder. What skills/qualifications do i need to give me a chance at aged 50+ to start over again somewhere else?
I'm an experienced teacher, but i guess i'm not the kind of highly skilled professional that the American govt wants!
Any ideas PH's?
My flat is spacious, comfortable, and warm. However, there's an eery silence and it's empty. My kids have gone off for a week's holiday with their mum but i get them for the second week of the half term hols.
Coming back from the high energy, hustle and bustle of New York to the depressingly familiar surroundings of my home town ,and the ex, has just put a downer on life!
I want to get out of here. I decided when i was i New York that i absolutely don't want to be living in the same flat, in the same town, or working in the same school here in France 5 years down the line when my daughter's passed her baccalaureate!!!!
Now i've made that decision the next one is harder. What skills/qualifications do i need to give me a chance at aged 50+ to start over again somewhere else?
I'm an experienced teacher, but i guess i'm not the kind of highly skilled professional that the American govt wants!
Any ideas PH's?
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff