Emotional eating and being unlucky in life?
Discussion
Unfortunately my dad is still my dad and i've come to understand how his own suffering when he was young affected his whole life and his approach towards me. However, what i'm hoping he'll say to me won't probably happen since he's 86.
My problem is ( and always has been) very low self confidence. I realize this and as a result that depresses me so i look for a boost in food. Whenever i have a bad day i rush to the kitchen and overeat. I stopped buying biscuits/cakes long ago so i grab some fruit or some cheese.
How on earth can i boost my self esteem when i'm constantly reminded of past failures? I'm seriously lacking in motivation because i remember all the times i was called stupid and useless and even when i did something to be proud off i never got any congratulations.
rosbif77 said:
Unfortunately my dad is still my dad and i've come to understand how his own suffering when he was young affected his whole life and his approach towards me. However, what i'm hoping he'll say to me won't probably happen since he's 86.
My problem is ( and always has been) very low self confidence. I realize this and as a result that depresses me so i look for a boost in food. Whenever i have a bad day i rush to the kitchen and overeat. I stopped buying biscuits/cakes long ago so i grab some fruit or some cheese.
How on earth can i boost my self esteem when i'm constantly reminded of past failures? I'm seriously lacking in motivation because i remember all the times i was called stupid and useless and even when i did something to be proud off i never got any congratulations.
Things will always go wrong if you are having to do something your heart in not into.
I remember you were wanting to write. Would writing a book be something you would love to do?
If the answer is yes why let the past so called failures stop you?
Yes doubt and self esteem might be low but if you were to go ahead and it did not work what are you losing?
If you could let me know how you feel about this
When i was young all i wanted to be was a writer. I built my own fictional worlds in my stories and withdrew into them to escape from the outside world. My dad did everything possible to put me off becoming a writer believing that i was wasting my time on something that according to him wasn't a real job. He even punished me when he caught me writing at night and tore up a manuscript i'd written.
As i've already posted previously my teachers at school laughed at my stories and mocked them!!!
It's not a surprise that i ended up doing jobs to make enough money but which i had no real passion for.
I went into teaching to help kids and because i love history and telling stories.
My ex said i would never be a writer since i lacked the confidence and talent to get a story published. I showed her some of my plots and was told to forget it and focus on earning a decent salary.The MIL just mocked me in public about this when the ex told her.
In fact i've always been surrounded by people who discouraged me from following my passion.
It's no surprise that after hearing the same negative comments for the past 40 odd years i seriously wonder if i should even bother to try again!
The fear of failling is what's holding me back. I'm worried that if i decide to write a book I'll have wasted the precious time i could've spent studying for a masters in history.
I'm tempted to study a history masters with The Open University but the study fees ( even by distance learning) are simply laughable!!!!!
It would cost nearly £20000 for a 2 years master's! Even then i'd still have to sit the competitive entrance exam over here in France to become a history teacher in the French state educational system.
I'm 49 now and wondering if it would be better to forget the writing and instead study for more qualifications.
As i've already posted previously my teachers at school laughed at my stories and mocked them!!!
It's not a surprise that i ended up doing jobs to make enough money but which i had no real passion for.
I went into teaching to help kids and because i love history and telling stories.
My ex said i would never be a writer since i lacked the confidence and talent to get a story published. I showed her some of my plots and was told to forget it and focus on earning a decent salary.The MIL just mocked me in public about this when the ex told her.
In fact i've always been surrounded by people who discouraged me from following my passion.
It's no surprise that after hearing the same negative comments for the past 40 odd years i seriously wonder if i should even bother to try again!
The fear of failling is what's holding me back. I'm worried that if i decide to write a book I'll have wasted the precious time i could've spent studying for a masters in history.
I'm tempted to study a history masters with The Open University but the study fees ( even by distance learning) are simply laughable!!!!!
It would cost nearly £20000 for a 2 years master's! Even then i'd still have to sit the competitive entrance exam over here in France to become a history teacher in the French state educational system.
I'm 49 now and wondering if it would be better to forget the writing and instead study for more qualifications.
Edited by rosbif77 on Monday 29th August 14:02
The issue is the people who have read your stories were people who for some reason enjoyed hurting you. Your teachers, father and MIL. Your ex is right about you not being able to write a story but only due to confidence. What is talent by the way? I have and would not pick up a Harry Potter book but how many millions has JK Rowling made? What some people think is not worth reading others think is amazing.
None of the people you have mentioned have been supportive of you and just enjoy taking you back down. Why not show them all that you are a much stronger person and start a book.
You do not have to write and write. 30 Minutes a week when you have time would allow you creative side a chance to shine and also remove you from the current situation you currently are in. I can imagine writing a book would be very therapeutic for you.
Unfortunately do to the past you are lacking in confidence but why allow the past to ruin your future. 49 years of age is nothing. Yes you could go forward and get a Masters in History but deep down is this really what you want to do or is this to make your father proud?
Put yourself first once and start a book. If you get knocked back then try another publisher. JK Rowling had many knock backs as no one could see the magic. Finally someone did and look at her now.
Grasp this talent you have and get writing. :-)
BTW whatever you do never share your writings with family and friends. Many people dislike success and one word can make you stop your dream.
None of the people you have mentioned have been supportive of you and just enjoy taking you back down. Why not show them all that you are a much stronger person and start a book.
You do not have to write and write. 30 Minutes a week when you have time would allow you creative side a chance to shine and also remove you from the current situation you currently are in. I can imagine writing a book would be very therapeutic for you.
Unfortunately do to the past you are lacking in confidence but why allow the past to ruin your future. 49 years of age is nothing. Yes you could go forward and get a Masters in History but deep down is this really what you want to do or is this to make your father proud?
Put yourself first once and start a book. If you get knocked back then try another publisher. JK Rowling had many knock backs as no one could see the magic. Finally someone did and look at her now.
Grasp this talent you have and get writing. :-)
BTW whatever you do never share your writings with family and friends. Many people dislike success and one word can make you stop your dream.
Today was back to school day for all the teaching staff at the private school where i work.
An absolute disastrous day has left me completely depressed. The main events:
1. Discovered at 9am that all the teachers in the International Section (IS) had been sent their timetables during the summer holiday except me. Why? The head of dept decided to cut my hours again and gave me the worst timetable ( lessons at start/end of most days with huge gaps during the day. ) My colleagues go home early each day!
2. 4th pay cut in last 3 years. Lost more teaching hours which have gone to dept head's favourite. I'm only teacher in dept to have had multiple pay cuts.
3. After heated discussion with said dept head i was told 'the door's over there. Close it on the way out! Oh, i forgot if you do that your daughter won't get the same quality of education elsewhere!'.
4. The head of dept congratulated her fav teachers in the IS in front of all the school staff at welcome back meeting. Their students achieved satisfactory results last year 60-70%. I achieved 100% for the 12th running.
No one in the 6th form stood up to mention this. I stood up and reminded her of my student's fantastic results. She cut me off with 'someone else obviously believes they're better than their students' Some teachers defended me so she cut short her speech!
5. All the staff were treated to a gourmet lunch ( served by local luxury caterers) by the school head. During the meal all my English dept colleagues cold shouldered me to waffle/charm the head of dept.
6. I've been excluded, for the fifth year running, from the 6th form annual school trip to New York. Every year the English teachers take it in turns to go with their pupils.I teach the American civilisation program in the IS.
Every English teacher in the 6th form has been selected to go by the school head/ head of English. I've once again been overlooked. The reason, i'm needed in the 6th form to replace my absent colleagues when they go to New York!
The whole day my fellow colleagues in the English dept gave me the cold shoulder and talked up the results of certain teachers who achieved 'average' results.
I had enough so told them exactly what i thought about that mentioning my fantastic exam results. The head of the IS butted in, talked over me and downplayed my achievements. She is very authoritarian, childless, divorced 3 times, and is a childhood friend of the school headmistress.
I refused to be beliittled in front of everyone by her and argued how exceptional the results of my students have been for the past 12 years, and how many young people's lives i have effected positively.
Not one colleague was prepared to defend me.
The IS head informed me after this 'showdown' that she wouldn't let me go on any school trips this year ( New York/Scotland/England) and that next year i should expect a further cut in teaching hours!!
Everywhere i go i meet the same manipulative person who wants to ruin my life( my dad, bullies at school, MIL, ex).
The more i stand up to my boss at school the more she uses my daughter's situation against me.( 50% off study fees for all teachers/staff with children in the school, well integrated, excellent school results, happy).
If i could i'd move but my local schools are all sink estate state schools withgangs, average results and under funded
An absolute disastrous day has left me completely depressed. The main events:
1. Discovered at 9am that all the teachers in the International Section (IS) had been sent their timetables during the summer holiday except me. Why? The head of dept decided to cut my hours again and gave me the worst timetable ( lessons at start/end of most days with huge gaps during the day. ) My colleagues go home early each day!
2. 4th pay cut in last 3 years. Lost more teaching hours which have gone to dept head's favourite. I'm only teacher in dept to have had multiple pay cuts.
3. After heated discussion with said dept head i was told 'the door's over there. Close it on the way out! Oh, i forgot if you do that your daughter won't get the same quality of education elsewhere!'.
4. The head of dept congratulated her fav teachers in the IS in front of all the school staff at welcome back meeting. Their students achieved satisfactory results last year 60-70%. I achieved 100% for the 12th running.
No one in the 6th form stood up to mention this. I stood up and reminded her of my student's fantastic results. She cut me off with 'someone else obviously believes they're better than their students' Some teachers defended me so she cut short her speech!
5. All the staff were treated to a gourmet lunch ( served by local luxury caterers) by the school head. During the meal all my English dept colleagues cold shouldered me to waffle/charm the head of dept.
6. I've been excluded, for the fifth year running, from the 6th form annual school trip to New York. Every year the English teachers take it in turns to go with their pupils.I teach the American civilisation program in the IS.
Every English teacher in the 6th form has been selected to go by the school head/ head of English. I've once again been overlooked. The reason, i'm needed in the 6th form to replace my absent colleagues when they go to New York!
The whole day my fellow colleagues in the English dept gave me the cold shoulder and talked up the results of certain teachers who achieved 'average' results.
I had enough so told them exactly what i thought about that mentioning my fantastic exam results. The head of the IS butted in, talked over me and downplayed my achievements. She is very authoritarian, childless, divorced 3 times, and is a childhood friend of the school headmistress.
I refused to be beliittled in front of everyone by her and argued how exceptional the results of my students have been for the past 12 years, and how many young people's lives i have effected positively.
Not one colleague was prepared to defend me.
The IS head informed me after this 'showdown' that she wouldn't let me go on any school trips this year ( New York/Scotland/England) and that next year i should expect a further cut in teaching hours!!
Everywhere i go i meet the same manipulative person who wants to ruin my life( my dad, bullies at school, MIL, ex).
The more i stand up to my boss at school the more she uses my daughter's situation against me.( 50% off study fees for all teachers/staff with children in the school, well integrated, excellent school results, happy).
If i could i'd move but my local schools are all sink estate state schools withgangs, average results and under funded
Edited by rosbif77 on Tuesday 30th August 16:44
Simply build up a dossier of events, and eventually throw yourself on the sick and use the information against them.
Take legal advice as well.
Or if your as good as your results suggest simply move school, possibly earn more money elsewhere with less stress and pay full whack for your child's education.
Possibly transfer your child even out of area to where ever you get a job, no hardship in taking them to school if your driving that way yourself.
And lastly take a chance, put your child in a half decent school (where ever the nearest is) use the money saved to allow you to work somewhere you enjoy. And use your own teaching ability to help your child on evenings etc such that they achieve the best they can.
A decent education only goes so far. Many people excel in life even coming from those sink hole type schools you refer to.
But im sure your kid doesn't want to grow up with some of the issues you do, simply as they regret their education at the expense of their emotional parent.
Take legal advice as well.
Or if your as good as your results suggest simply move school, possibly earn more money elsewhere with less stress and pay full whack for your child's education.
Possibly transfer your child even out of area to where ever you get a job, no hardship in taking them to school if your driving that way yourself.
And lastly take a chance, put your child in a half decent school (where ever the nearest is) use the money saved to allow you to work somewhere you enjoy. And use your own teaching ability to help your child on evenings etc such that they achieve the best they can.
A decent education only goes so far. Many people excel in life even coming from those sink hole type schools you refer to.
But im sure your kid doesn't want to grow up with some of the issues you do, simply as they regret their education at the expense of their emotional parent.
I recorded the conversations and the details have been added to the already thick dossier. The union rep at the school is well aware of the situation and has several complaints from other non-English teachers in the school.
My daughter's in the secondary school( which has outstanding achievement status) whereas in the 6th form there are certain issues regarding certain subject areas. Both schools are heavily over subscribed due to the average local schools and the pupils having access to a multi lingual curriculum.
To reply to your points i've got nothing against 'sink hole estate schools'. I even went to me and endured 5 years of hell. When i qualified as a teacher i taught in one in Portsmouth because i wanted to help the kids and i changed many student's lives, despite the obstacles being placed in my path by career obsessed colleagues. I wanted to be head of dept there but got stabbed in the back by jealous colleagues.
Furthermore, yes i have quite a few problems as you are no doubt aware of having read through this thread.
I'm not ashamed to admit that i want the best for both of my children. My son obtained fantastic results during his time there and consequently got a place at a top Paris university. He was very happy at the school. My daughter is also very happy at the school as well.
What seriously pisses me off is someone with power abusing their authority to take advantage of my weakened personal/financial situation.
I've already applied to numerous other private schools in the area. They're all taking advantage of the current poor economic climate over here to drive down wages. Even state school teachers have had pay frozen for several years.
Over here in France teaching is seen as a cushy job with long holidays. It doesn't matter if you're a gifted teacher or an average one. You both get the same salary. In private schools heads have more freedom and therefore tend to reward friends or colleagues they like by giving them excellent timetables, pay rises etc.
My daughter's in the secondary school( which has outstanding achievement status) whereas in the 6th form there are certain issues regarding certain subject areas. Both schools are heavily over subscribed due to the average local schools and the pupils having access to a multi lingual curriculum.
To reply to your points i've got nothing against 'sink hole estate schools'. I even went to me and endured 5 years of hell. When i qualified as a teacher i taught in one in Portsmouth because i wanted to help the kids and i changed many student's lives, despite the obstacles being placed in my path by career obsessed colleagues. I wanted to be head of dept there but got stabbed in the back by jealous colleagues.
Furthermore, yes i have quite a few problems as you are no doubt aware of having read through this thread.
I'm not ashamed to admit that i want the best for both of my children. My son obtained fantastic results during his time there and consequently got a place at a top Paris university. He was very happy at the school. My daughter is also very happy at the school as well.
What seriously pisses me off is someone with power abusing their authority to take advantage of my weakened personal/financial situation.
I've already applied to numerous other private schools in the area. They're all taking advantage of the current poor economic climate over here to drive down wages. Even state school teachers have had pay frozen for several years.
Over here in France teaching is seen as a cushy job with long holidays. It doesn't matter if you're a gifted teacher or an average one. You both get the same salary. In private schools heads have more freedom and therefore tend to reward friends or colleagues they like by giving them excellent timetables, pay rises etc.
[quote=rosbif77]Today was back to school day for all the teaching staff at the private school where i work.
An absolute disastrous day has left me completely depressed. The main events:
1. Discovered at 9am that all the teachers in the International Section (IS) had been sent their timetables during the summer holiday except me. Why? The head of dept decided to cut my hours again and gave me the worst timetable ( lessons at start/end of most days with huge gaps during the day. ) My colleagues go home early each day!
2. 4th pay cut in last 3 years. Lost more teaching hours which have gone to dept head's favourite. I'm only teacher in dept to have had multiple pay cuts.
3. After heated discussion with said dept head i was told 'the door's over there. Close it on the way out! Oh, i forgot if you do that your daughter won't get the same quality of education elsewhere!'.
4. The head of dept congratulated her fav teachers in the IS in front of all the school staff at welcome back meeting. Their students achieved satisfactory results last year 60-70%. I achieved 100% for the 12th running.
No one in the 6th form stood up to mention this. I stood up and reminded her of my student's fantastic results. She cut me off with 'someone else obviously believes they're better than their students' Some teachers defended me so she cut short her speech!
5. All the staff were treated to a gourmet lunch ( served by local luxury caterers) by the school head. During the meal all my English dept colleagues cold shouldered me to waffle/charm the head of dept.
6. I've been excluded, for the fifth year running, from the 6th form annual school trip to New York. Every year the English teachers take it in turns to go with their pupils.I teach the American civilisation program in the IS.
Every English teacher in the 6th form has been selected to go by the school head/ head of English. I've once again been overlooked. The reason, i'm needed in the 6th form to replace my absent colleagues when they go to New York!
The whole day my fellow colleagues in the English dept gave me the cold shoulder and talked up the results of certain teachers who achieved 'average' results.
I had enough so told them exactly what i thought about that mentioning my fantastic exam results. The head of the IS butted in, talked over me and downplayed my achievements. She is very authoritarian, childless, divorced 3 times, and is a childhood friend of the school headmistress.
I refused to be beliittled in front of everyone by her and argued how exceptional the results of my students have been for the past 12 years, and how many young people's lives i have effected positively.
Not one colleague was prepared to defend me.
The IS head informed me after this 'showdown' that she wouldn't let me go on any school trips this year ( New York/Scotland/England) and that next year i should expect a further cut in teaching hours!!
Everywhere i go i meet the same manipulative person who wants to ruin my life( my dad, bullies at school, MIL, ex).
The more i stand up to my boss at school the more she uses my daughter's situation against me.( 50% off study fees for all teachers/staff with children in the school, well integrated, excellent school results, happy).
If i could i'd move but my local schools are all sink estate state schools withgangs, average results and under funded
Sounds like the head of the department is running the IS Terror group and not a school.
No wonder you are asking yourself what is going on when you keep meeting the same people time and time again.
Sounds strange that you are living in the area of your ex and everyone is having a pop at you.
Are you sure there is no malicious lies being thrown about? Or does your ex know people at your school?
To cut your wages again is shocking. As stated above perhaps it is time to take this matter further.
Or go off sick and start writing while they pay for your wages.
What are the rules is France regarding being sacked? The UK is two years and after that you have to go down the proper route before letting someone go.
An absolute disastrous day has left me completely depressed. The main events:
1. Discovered at 9am that all the teachers in the International Section (IS) had been sent their timetables during the summer holiday except me. Why? The head of dept decided to cut my hours again and gave me the worst timetable ( lessons at start/end of most days with huge gaps during the day. ) My colleagues go home early each day!
2. 4th pay cut in last 3 years. Lost more teaching hours which have gone to dept head's favourite. I'm only teacher in dept to have had multiple pay cuts.
3. After heated discussion with said dept head i was told 'the door's over there. Close it on the way out! Oh, i forgot if you do that your daughter won't get the same quality of education elsewhere!'.
4. The head of dept congratulated her fav teachers in the IS in front of all the school staff at welcome back meeting. Their students achieved satisfactory results last year 60-70%. I achieved 100% for the 12th running.
No one in the 6th form stood up to mention this. I stood up and reminded her of my student's fantastic results. She cut me off with 'someone else obviously believes they're better than their students' Some teachers defended me so she cut short her speech!
5. All the staff were treated to a gourmet lunch ( served by local luxury caterers) by the school head. During the meal all my English dept colleagues cold shouldered me to waffle/charm the head of dept.
6. I've been excluded, for the fifth year running, from the 6th form annual school trip to New York. Every year the English teachers take it in turns to go with their pupils.I teach the American civilisation program in the IS.
Every English teacher in the 6th form has been selected to go by the school head/ head of English. I've once again been overlooked. The reason, i'm needed in the 6th form to replace my absent colleagues when they go to New York!
The whole day my fellow colleagues in the English dept gave me the cold shoulder and talked up the results of certain teachers who achieved 'average' results.
I had enough so told them exactly what i thought about that mentioning my fantastic exam results. The head of the IS butted in, talked over me and downplayed my achievements. She is very authoritarian, childless, divorced 3 times, and is a childhood friend of the school headmistress.
I refused to be beliittled in front of everyone by her and argued how exceptional the results of my students have been for the past 12 years, and how many young people's lives i have effected positively.
Not one colleague was prepared to defend me.
The IS head informed me after this 'showdown' that she wouldn't let me go on any school trips this year ( New York/Scotland/England) and that next year i should expect a further cut in teaching hours!!
Everywhere i go i meet the same manipulative person who wants to ruin my life( my dad, bullies at school, MIL, ex).
The more i stand up to my boss at school the more she uses my daughter's situation against me.( 50% off study fees for all teachers/staff with children in the school, well integrated, excellent school results, happy).
If i could i'd move but my local schools are all sink estate state schools withgangs, average results and under funded
Sounds like the head of the department is running the IS Terror group and not a school.
No wonder you are asking yourself what is going on when you keep meeting the same people time and time again.
Sounds strange that you are living in the area of your ex and everyone is having a pop at you.
Are you sure there is no malicious lies being thrown about? Or does your ex know people at your school?
To cut your wages again is shocking. As stated above perhaps it is time to take this matter further.
Or go off sick and start writing while they pay for your wages.
What are the rules is France regarding being sacked? The UK is two years and after that you have to go down the proper route before letting someone go.
rosbif77 said:
I recorded the conversations and the details have been added to the already thick dossier. The union rep at the school is well aware of the situation and has several complaints from other non-English teachers in the school.
My daughter's in the secondary school( which has outstanding achievement status) whereas in the 6th form there are certain issues regarding certain subject areas. Both schools are heavily over subscribed due to the average local schools and the pupils having access to a multi lingual curriculum.
To reply to your points i've got nothing against 'sink hole estate schools'. I even went to me and endured 5 years of hell. When i qualified as a teacher i taught in one in Portsmouth because i wanted to help the kids and i changed many student's lives, despite the obstacles being placed in my path by career obsessed colleagues. I wanted to be head of dept there but got stabbed in the back by jealous colleagues.
Furthermore, yes i have quite a few problems as you are no doubt aware of having read through this thread.
I'm not ashamed to admit that i want the best for both of my children. My son obtained fantastic results during his time there and consequently got a place at a top Paris university. He was very happy at the school. My daughter is also very happy at the school as well.
What seriously pisses me off is someone with power abusing their authority to take advantage of my weakened personal/financial situation.
I've already applied to numerous other private schools in the area. They're all taking advantage of the current poor economic climate over here to drive down wages. Even state school teachers have had pay frozen for several years.
Over here in France teaching is seen as a cushy job with long holidays. It doesn't matter if you're a gifted teacher or an average one. You both get the same salary. In private schools heads have more freedom and therefore tend to reward friends or colleagues they like by giving them excellent timetables, pay rises etc.
So obviously your son is over 16 years of age. Is he now living in Paris?My daughter's in the secondary school( which has outstanding achievement status) whereas in the 6th form there are certain issues regarding certain subject areas. Both schools are heavily over subscribed due to the average local schools and the pupils having access to a multi lingual curriculum.
To reply to your points i've got nothing against 'sink hole estate schools'. I even went to me and endured 5 years of hell. When i qualified as a teacher i taught in one in Portsmouth because i wanted to help the kids and i changed many student's lives, despite the obstacles being placed in my path by career obsessed colleagues. I wanted to be head of dept there but got stabbed in the back by jealous colleagues.
Furthermore, yes i have quite a few problems as you are no doubt aware of having read through this thread.
I'm not ashamed to admit that i want the best for both of my children. My son obtained fantastic results during his time there and consequently got a place at a top Paris university. He was very happy at the school. My daughter is also very happy at the school as well.
What seriously pisses me off is someone with power abusing their authority to take advantage of my weakened personal/financial situation.
I've already applied to numerous other private schools in the area. They're all taking advantage of the current poor economic climate over here to drive down wages. Even state school teachers have had pay frozen for several years.
Over here in France teaching is seen as a cushy job with long holidays. It doesn't matter if you're a gifted teacher or an average one. You both get the same salary. In private schools heads have more freedom and therefore tend to reward friends or colleagues they like by giving them excellent timetables, pay rises etc.
Is your daughter 11-12 years of age?
If your children had the choice would they want to stay with you or your ex?
Regarding your teaching if places are hard to come by and the parents are trying to get their children into private school could you do after school classes for a fee to help students catch up?
Only if this was worth your while in a money sense.
MYOB said:
Are you not a member of the teacher's union in France? I gather the unions are quite strong in France...
I'm in a union. However, it's weak compared to the big state employed unions( teachers etc.In France if you're French born and have French degrees you're ok. If not you hit the invisible glass ceiling after a few years.
Excellent news. I had a meeting yesterday with the head of school, my boss and the union rep after which my timetable was 're- organised' to ' take into account the long distances i commute'. Basically i finish earlier every day.
Unfortunately, the head won't give me any more hours and even advised me to start thinking about either passing the French state educational qualification but earning an even lower salary, or doing something else with my life.
However, can you imagine a school head telling a highly skilled and experienced foreign born teacher (24 years teaching exp and counting) not to bother studying for a 2 year's master's degree followed by a 1 year probationary period, because when qualified at aged 52 i'll still earn less than now!!!!
Teachers in France qualify in their early twenties and very slowly climb the salary scale.
She told me to forget qualifying as a teacher at my age because i'm too old, foreign born and in France people don't change careers when nearly 50!
She advised me to go back to the UK if i wanted to work in an economy that values employees whatever their ages, because in France that's not the case.
As an olive branch she'll allow me to lead the English school trips to New York and Scotland.
Despite all the positives from yesterday's neeting my heart is just not in the job anymore. All the problems, pay cuts, lack of management support, back stabbing colleagues who got pay rises due to personal friendship etc have sucked the enthusiasm out of me.
I hate the daily commute, i feel bitter about how i've been treated even though my students get 100% pass rates every year, but i'm stuck there.
All other English teaching jobs pay less, with short term contracts, and another professional career change is unrealistic here in France.
I don't enjoy living where i am being so close to the ex and the ex family home.
That's why i'm depressed and constantly fighting the urge to confort eat.
I have a wonderful relationship with my two children. My son started at uni in Paris yesterday but my daughter's only 13 and enters year 9 today.
Unfortunately, the head won't give me any more hours and even advised me to start thinking about either passing the French state educational qualification but earning an even lower salary, or doing something else with my life.
However, can you imagine a school head telling a highly skilled and experienced foreign born teacher (24 years teaching exp and counting) not to bother studying for a 2 year's master's degree followed by a 1 year probationary period, because when qualified at aged 52 i'll still earn less than now!!!!
Teachers in France qualify in their early twenties and very slowly climb the salary scale.
She told me to forget qualifying as a teacher at my age because i'm too old, foreign born and in France people don't change careers when nearly 50!
She advised me to go back to the UK if i wanted to work in an economy that values employees whatever their ages, because in France that's not the case.
As an olive branch she'll allow me to lead the English school trips to New York and Scotland.
Despite all the positives from yesterday's neeting my heart is just not in the job anymore. All the problems, pay cuts, lack of management support, back stabbing colleagues who got pay rises due to personal friendship etc have sucked the enthusiasm out of me.
I hate the daily commute, i feel bitter about how i've been treated even though my students get 100% pass rates every year, but i'm stuck there.
All other English teaching jobs pay less, with short term contracts, and another professional career change is unrealistic here in France.
I don't enjoy living where i am being so close to the ex and the ex family home.
That's why i'm depressed and constantly fighting the urge to confort eat.
I have a wonderful relationship with my two children. My son started at uni in Paris yesterday but my daughter's only 13 and enters year 9 today.
Edited by rosbif77 on Thursday 1st September 08:32
[quote=rosbif77] Excellent news. I had a meeting yesterday with the head of school, my boss and the union rep after which my timetable was 're- organised' to ' take into account the long distances i commute'. Basically i finish earlier every day.
Unfortunately, the head won't give me any more hours and even advised me to start thinking about either passing the French state educational qualification but earning an even lower salary, or doing something else with my life.
However, can you imagine a school head telling a highly skilled and experienced foreign born teacher (24 years teaching exp and counting) not to bother studying for a 2 year's master's degree followed by a 1 year probationary period, because when qualified at aged 52 i'll still earn less than now!!!!
Teachers in France qualify in their early twenties and very slowly climb the salary scale.
She told me to forget qualifying as a teacher at my age because i'm too old, foreign born and in France people don't change careers when nearly 50!
She advised me to go back to the UK if i wanted to work in an economy that values employees whatever their ages, because in France that's not the case.
As an olive branch she'll allow me to lead the English school trips to New York and Scotland.
Despite all the positives from yesterday's neeting my heart is just not in the job anymore. All the problems, pay cuts, lack of management support, back stabbing colleagues who got pay rises due to personal friendship etc have sucked the enthusiasm out of me.
I hate the daily commute, i feel bitter about how i've been treated even though my students get 100% pass rates every year, but i'm stuck there.
All other English teaching jobs pay less, with short term contracts, and another professional career change is unrealistic here in France.
I don't enjoy living where i am being so close to the ex and the ex family home.
That's why i'm depressed and constantly fighting the urge to confort eat.
I have a wonderful relationship with my two children. My son started at uni in Paris yesterday but my daughter's only 13 and enters year 9 today.
So some positives there but still mostly negative.
No wonder you feel disheartened with your work when basically they are telling you to move back to England. This would be tough enough without the added stress of where you have to live due to the divorce.
Regarding your kids do you see them daily only to take them to school?
Does your son still come with you daily?
What has the courts stipulated regarding how often you can see your kids? Can they stay over at yours etc.?
As your son is now over 16 years of age he can chose where he resides full time without the ex having any say.
Would he want to stay with you full time or is he planning to go into Uni digs?
Unfortunately, the head won't give me any more hours and even advised me to start thinking about either passing the French state educational qualification but earning an even lower salary, or doing something else with my life.
However, can you imagine a school head telling a highly skilled and experienced foreign born teacher (24 years teaching exp and counting) not to bother studying for a 2 year's master's degree followed by a 1 year probationary period, because when qualified at aged 52 i'll still earn less than now!!!!
Teachers in France qualify in their early twenties and very slowly climb the salary scale.
She told me to forget qualifying as a teacher at my age because i'm too old, foreign born and in France people don't change careers when nearly 50!
She advised me to go back to the UK if i wanted to work in an economy that values employees whatever their ages, because in France that's not the case.
As an olive branch she'll allow me to lead the English school trips to New York and Scotland.
Despite all the positives from yesterday's neeting my heart is just not in the job anymore. All the problems, pay cuts, lack of management support, back stabbing colleagues who got pay rises due to personal friendship etc have sucked the enthusiasm out of me.
I hate the daily commute, i feel bitter about how i've been treated even though my students get 100% pass rates every year, but i'm stuck there.
All other English teaching jobs pay less, with short term contracts, and another professional career change is unrealistic here in France.
I don't enjoy living where i am being so close to the ex and the ex family home.
That's why i'm depressed and constantly fighting the urge to confort eat.
I have a wonderful relationship with my two children. My son started at uni in Paris yesterday but my daughter's only 13 and enters year 9 today.
So some positives there but still mostly negative.
No wonder you feel disheartened with your work when basically they are telling you to move back to England. This would be tough enough without the added stress of where you have to live due to the divorce.
Regarding your kids do you see them daily only to take them to school?
Does your son still come with you daily?
What has the courts stipulated regarding how often you can see your kids? Can they stay over at yours etc.?
As your son is now over 16 years of age he can chose where he resides full time without the ex having any say.
Would he want to stay with you full time or is he planning to go into Uni digs?
Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 2nd September 13:21
It's extremely depressing to do the same stressful daily commute with the knowledge that no matter how much time, effort and hard work i put in, the boss will never give me a raise. In fact it will go to her 'favourites' in the form of more hours.
If i resign then they owe me virtually nothing. If they fire me then they owe me nearly a year's salary.
Therefore they are gradually bit by bit trying to make it so disheartening that i leave myself.
I've applied for other full time posts in the Paris area but each time the school head offers min wage with more teaching hours than my current job. Everywhere employers are using all methods to drive down wages.
Language/business schools in Paris propose min hourly wage teaching posts. There are too many ex pats doing part time EFL teaching so the contracts are poor.
My son as in university digs in Paris but can come home at week-ends if he wants to.
My daughter goes to the private secondary school attatched to the private 6th form where i teach. I drive her there and back every day. I also teach her class history.
Under the terms of the divorce my ex and i each have the kids one week in two. Every Sunday the kids ( now only my daughter) go to stay for the week with the other. I see my daughter more because it's 50/50 custody anyway, and i take her to school every day.
If she didn't go to the private school she'd have to go to the crap local state school, without multi lingual classes as well. Free but not the same quality as in the private school.
The head of the International Section told me bluntly last year,
'you're still here because you can't get a better job elsewhere as an expat in Paris, and your daughter wouldn't get the same education elsewhere. You put up with the pay cuts because you can't do anything about it's.
She told me either leave now or shut up and take thé salary cut!!!!!!
I feel like i'm in a no win situation professionally.
Edited by rosbif77 on Friday 2nd September 16:31
[quote=rosbif77]
It's extremely depressing to do the same stressful daily commute with the knowledge that no matter how much time, effort and hard work i put in, the boss will never give me a raise. In fact it will go to her 'favourites' in the form of more hours.
If i resign then they owe me virtually nothing. If they fire me then they owe me nearly a year's salary.
Therefore they are gradually bit by bit trying to make it so disheartening that i leave myself.
I've applied for other full time posts in the Paris area but each time the school head offers min wage with more teaching hours than my current job. Everywhere employers are using all methods to drive down wages.
Language/business schools in Paris propose min hourly wage teaching posts. There are too many ex pats doing part time EFL teaching so the contracts are poor.
My son as in university digs in Paris but can come home at week-ends if he wants to.
My daughter goes to the private secondary school attatched to the private 6th form where i teach. I drive her there and back every day. I also teach her class history.
Under the terms of the divorce my ex and i each have the kids one week in two. Every Sunday the kids ( now only my daughter) go to stay for the week with the other. I see my daughter more because it's 50/50 custody anyway, and i take her to school every day.
If she didn't go to the private school she'd have to go to the crap local state school, without multi lingual classes as well. Free but not the same quality as in the private school.
The head of the International Section told me bluntly last year,
'you're still here because you can't get a better job elsewhere as an expat in Paris, and your daughter wouldn't get the same education elsewhere. You put up with the pay cuts because you can't do anything about it's.
She told me either leave now or shut up and take thé salary cut!!!!!!
I feel like i'm in a no win situation professionally.
Thanks for that information.
Sounds like you are pretty stuck whatever you do. You can't move due to your daughter and staying is rubbish due to your work treating you like a piece of dirt.
Still think you should start working on a book. If anything it will keep your mind busy from the reality outside.
Is your ex a good mum? Does she love her children as much as you do?
It's extremely depressing to do the same stressful daily commute with the knowledge that no matter how much time, effort and hard work i put in, the boss will never give me a raise. In fact it will go to her 'favourites' in the form of more hours.
If i resign then they owe me virtually nothing. If they fire me then they owe me nearly a year's salary.
Therefore they are gradually bit by bit trying to make it so disheartening that i leave myself.
I've applied for other full time posts in the Paris area but each time the school head offers min wage with more teaching hours than my current job. Everywhere employers are using all methods to drive down wages.
Language/business schools in Paris propose min hourly wage teaching posts. There are too many ex pats doing part time EFL teaching so the contracts are poor.
My son as in university digs in Paris but can come home at week-ends if he wants to.
My daughter goes to the private secondary school attatched to the private 6th form where i teach. I drive her there and back every day. I also teach her class history.
Under the terms of the divorce my ex and i each have the kids one week in two. Every Sunday the kids ( now only my daughter) go to stay for the week with the other. I see my daughter more because it's 50/50 custody anyway, and i take her to school every day.
If she didn't go to the private school she'd have to go to the crap local state school, without multi lingual classes as well. Free but not the same quality as in the private school.
The head of the International Section told me bluntly last year,
'you're still here because you can't get a better job elsewhere as an expat in Paris, and your daughter wouldn't get the same education elsewhere. You put up with the pay cuts because you can't do anything about it's.
She told me either leave now or shut up and take thé salary cut!!!!!!
I feel like i'm in a no win situation professionally.
Thanks for that information.
Sounds like you are pretty stuck whatever you do. You can't move due to your daughter and staying is rubbish due to your work treating you like a piece of dirt.
Still think you should start working on a book. If anything it will keep your mind busy from the reality outside.
Is your ex a good mum? Does she love her children as much as you do?
rosbif77 said:
I suppose that i just did what was necessary to get through each day. No matter what emotional, physical or possible sexual abuse i endured i never received the help and support to stop it happening. Consequently, it was the 'fight or flight' mechanism that took over.
There were days when i just took the punches, kicks, blows and other days when as i was literally drowning in a toilet, in a pool of stinking mud, or feeling my ribs being crushed under the weight of several guys jumping on my chest, or seeing the world go dark as a year 11 pulled the tie round my thoat that the animal instinct of survival took over and i lashed out as violently as possible to stay alive.
Every night i would wake up soaked in sweat fighting the sheets like i was fighting to get out of the mud etc. No one really believed me, or wanted to believe me, when i told them how it felt to be strangled, suffocated, drowned since no boys in the school were capable of such brutality.
I never realised at the time how terrible the violence was i had to put up with. As a result i just buried it as deep as possible inside me.
When i was 28 i met by chance one of the guys who'd tried numerous times to drown me in the toilet/mud when i was at school.
He was an absolutely evil son of a b
h. I bumped into him in a Portsmouth pub by chance . I recognized him but he didn't remember me!!!!
He 'd made a fortune buying up failling small businesses, wrecking them and selling them off piece by pièce. He loved firing people. He bought his stepfather's business, ran it down then fired him!!! He eventually bought a huge manor house and retired 5 years ago a millionaire! The same year a local paper ran a story about how this wealthy local businessman had been convicted of animal cruelty by killing his daughter's dog by throwing it alive into a brick crushing machine( while he made her watch!!!) He found it amusing! His daughter wanted to be a vet which he didn't agree with so in a fit of rage killed the dog!!!!
You met a guy who didn't know you in a pub, and he told you how he asset stripped businesses, including his step fathers, and killed his daughters dog?There were days when i just took the punches, kicks, blows and other days when as i was literally drowning in a toilet, in a pool of stinking mud, or feeling my ribs being crushed under the weight of several guys jumping on my chest, or seeing the world go dark as a year 11 pulled the tie round my thoat that the animal instinct of survival took over and i lashed out as violently as possible to stay alive.
Every night i would wake up soaked in sweat fighting the sheets like i was fighting to get out of the mud etc. No one really believed me, or wanted to believe me, when i told them how it felt to be strangled, suffocated, drowned since no boys in the school were capable of such brutality.
I never realised at the time how terrible the violence was i had to put up with. As a result i just buried it as deep as possible inside me.
When i was 28 i met by chance one of the guys who'd tried numerous times to drown me in the toilet/mud when i was at school.
He was an absolutely evil son of a b
h. I bumped into him in a Portsmouth pub by chance . I recognized him but he didn't remember me!!!!He 'd made a fortune buying up failling small businesses, wrecking them and selling them off piece by pièce. He loved firing people. He bought his stepfather's business, ran it down then fired him!!! He eventually bought a huge manor house and retired 5 years ago a millionaire! The same year a local paper ran a story about how this wealthy local businessman had been convicted of animal cruelty by killing his daughter's dog by throwing it alive into a brick crushing machine( while he made her watch!!!) He found it amusing! His daughter wanted to be a vet which he didn't agree with so in a fit of rage killed the dog!!!!
Edited by rosbif77 on Thursday 25th August 14:13
Sometimes I make small talk with randoms in pubs, might stop now in case they tell me similar...
No offence, but on the face of it this thread seems like you are talking to yourself..
Last week was pretty bleak. My timetable got changed yet again. Mon/Tues start at 8.30 and finish 6.30pm. Weds 8.30 to 1.30, and Thurs/Fri. it's 1.30-5.30.
Problem is my daughter starts at 8.30 every day and she finishes early on Mon/Tues and at 3.30 on Thurs/Fri.
Basically my timetable gotswitched around with 3 other teachers in the 6th form to enable them to start later or go home earlier ( friends of head of English!).
I live the furthest away from the school. I now have the worst timetable.
I've started taking a packed lunch and either eat on my own or eat with the Moroccan born maths teacher ( has a PHD in maths but gets paid less than French born maths colleagues).
Absolutely whacked out every evening i get home. The daily commute is longer due to road widening on the A road ( 2-3 years to turn it into a dual carraigeway). It now takes 90 mins both ways instead of 60.
The ex has gone part time as she's studying for a translation master's. She goes away on mini breaks all the time so i get to see my daughter even more.
My son's started at uni in Paris. He needed loads of books so i bought them for him( the ex refused citing poverty!!!!)
The ex is trying to change the divorce contract ( pay less towards fuel cost/ school fees etc) so i'll have to pay for a lawyer. The ex gets nice fat cheques in the letterbox from her family to cover expenses ( holidays!).
I got turned down for a history master's at the Sorbonne university in Paris. It's by e learning and costs just 500 euros a year!!!
The reason: i was told UK educational qualifications aren't seen as the same standard as French one's!!!!!!
Problem is my daughter starts at 8.30 every day and she finishes early on Mon/Tues and at 3.30 on Thurs/Fri.
Basically my timetable gotswitched around with 3 other teachers in the 6th form to enable them to start later or go home earlier ( friends of head of English!).
I live the furthest away from the school. I now have the worst timetable.
I've started taking a packed lunch and either eat on my own or eat with the Moroccan born maths teacher ( has a PHD in maths but gets paid less than French born maths colleagues).
Absolutely whacked out every evening i get home. The daily commute is longer due to road widening on the A road ( 2-3 years to turn it into a dual carraigeway). It now takes 90 mins both ways instead of 60.
The ex has gone part time as she's studying for a translation master's. She goes away on mini breaks all the time so i get to see my daughter even more.
My son's started at uni in Paris. He needed loads of books so i bought them for him( the ex refused citing poverty!!!!)
The ex is trying to change the divorce contract ( pay less towards fuel cost/ school fees etc) so i'll have to pay for a lawyer. The ex gets nice fat cheques in the letterbox from her family to cover expenses ( holidays!).
I got turned down for a history master's at the Sorbonne university in Paris. It's by e learning and costs just 500 euros a year!!!
The reason: i was told UK educational qualifications aren't seen as the same standard as French one's!!!!!!
[quote=rosbif77]Last week was pretty bleak. My timetable got changed yet again. Mon/Tues start at 8.30 and finish 6.30pm. Weds 8.30 to 1.30, and Thurs/Fri. it's 1.30-5.30.
Problem is my daughter starts at 8.30 every day and she finishes early on Mon/Tues and at 3.30 on Thurs/Fri.
Basically my timetable gotswitched around with 3 other teachers in the 6th form to enable them to start later or go home earlier ( friends of head of English!).
I live the furthest away from the school. I now have the worst timetable.
I've started taking a packed lunch and either eat on my own or eat with the Moroccan born maths teacher ( has a PHD in maths but gets paid less than French born maths colleagues).
Absolutely whacked out every evening i get home. The daily commute is longer due to road widening on the A road ( 2-3 years to turn it into a dual carraigeway). It now takes 90 mins both ways instead of 60.
The ex has gone part time as she's studying for a translation master's. She goes away on mini breaks all the time so i get to see my daughter even more.
My son's started at uni in Paris. He needed loads of books so i bought them for him( the ex refused citing poverty!!!!)
The ex is trying to change the divorce contract ( pay less towards fuel cost/ school fees etc) so i'll have to pay for a lawyer. The ex gets nice fat cheques in the letterbox from her family to cover expenses ( holidays!).
I got turned down for a history master's at the Sorbonne university in Paris. It's by e learning and costs just 500 euros a year!!!
The reason: i was told UK educational qualifications aren't seen as the same standard as French one's!!!!!!
Get the feeling the Headteacher is trying her best to get you to leave. Real shame due to the current circumstances you can't tell her to stick her job.
Great your ex goes away for breaks and you get to have your daughter more. This is something to write down. Each time she goes for a break take a note in a diary. Proves she can't be citing poverty if she can afford this treats.
UK educational qualifications are not the same standards. Honestly I was wanting to go on holiday to France but it sounds bl**** terrible.
If you did leave France and moved back to England would your ex not get fed up of your daughter? Before she is taking holidays and complaining about having to pay for things it does not sound like there is much of a bond there.
You should state that she can stop all payments and let your daughter move to England with you. I know this is fantasy but it may stop her trying to reduce the payments for your daughter.
I can imagine writing a book during all this is pretty hard.
Problem is my daughter starts at 8.30 every day and she finishes early on Mon/Tues and at 3.30 on Thurs/Fri.
Basically my timetable gotswitched around with 3 other teachers in the 6th form to enable them to start later or go home earlier ( friends of head of English!).
I live the furthest away from the school. I now have the worst timetable.
I've started taking a packed lunch and either eat on my own or eat with the Moroccan born maths teacher ( has a PHD in maths but gets paid less than French born maths colleagues).
Absolutely whacked out every evening i get home. The daily commute is longer due to road widening on the A road ( 2-3 years to turn it into a dual carraigeway). It now takes 90 mins both ways instead of 60.
The ex has gone part time as she's studying for a translation master's. She goes away on mini breaks all the time so i get to see my daughter even more.
My son's started at uni in Paris. He needed loads of books so i bought them for him( the ex refused citing poverty!!!!)
The ex is trying to change the divorce contract ( pay less towards fuel cost/ school fees etc) so i'll have to pay for a lawyer. The ex gets nice fat cheques in the letterbox from her family to cover expenses ( holidays!).
I got turned down for a history master's at the Sorbonne university in Paris. It's by e learning and costs just 500 euros a year!!!
The reason: i was told UK educational qualifications aren't seen as the same standard as French one's!!!!!!
Get the feeling the Headteacher is trying her best to get you to leave. Real shame due to the current circumstances you can't tell her to stick her job.
Great your ex goes away for breaks and you get to have your daughter more. This is something to write down. Each time she goes for a break take a note in a diary. Proves she can't be citing poverty if she can afford this treats.
UK educational qualifications are not the same standards. Honestly I was wanting to go on holiday to France but it sounds bl**** terrible.
If you did leave France and moved back to England would your ex not get fed up of your daughter? Before she is taking holidays and complaining about having to pay for things it does not sound like there is much of a bond there.
You should state that she can stop all payments and let your daughter move to England with you. I know this is fantasy but it may stop her trying to reduce the payments for your daughter.
I can imagine writing a book during all this is pretty hard.
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