Do I have an Alcohol problem?

[K12beano]

olly22n said:

vsonix said:

No, I don't think you have an alcohol problem per se but it does indicate you feel the need to routinely indulge in behaviour which results in a 'pleasure reward' which is maybe indicative of a mildly addictive personality. It's fairly easy to get into an 'unwind to relax' routine which involves a couple of glasses/cans of booze and/or a spliff or something, the problem with this is it creates a paradigm in your brain where you associate relaxing with the action, therefore you look forward to it more, and if you can't have it for whatever reason, one gets tense, annoyed and frustrated. Thing is it doesn't have to be booze or drugs it can be anything from sex to gambling to yoga to buying cars etc etc.
Just that alcohol and drugs are stigmatised and so you end up feeling bad about that too.
An actual alcohol problem is usually apparent when you start to feel physical dependency i.e. cannot function regularly before you have taken a drink etc.

I would absolutely disagree with this.

If you are irritable on a Monday and Tuesday night because you can't have a drink and then come on here and ask the question I think you know that it has more of a hold over you than you would like it to.

Have a read on the Internet, people's blogs on drinking, Allen carrs book is quite good too.

Ultimately drinking less is a good thing for body and mind, but it's up to you to decide what is right for you.

Got to agree with Olly on this one.

And the moment you notice anything deceitful about your behaviour, such as any denial, or hiding your habit you are 100% over the line.

As others have said "borderline"..... But all the raw material to go over the line!!!

Edited by K12beano on Thursday 25th August 21:31

[vsonix]

olly22n said:

vsonix said:

No, I don't think you have an alcohol problem per se but it does indicate you feel the need to routinely indulge in behaviour which results in a 'pleasure reward' which is maybe indicative of a mildly addictive personality. It's fairly easy to get into an 'unwind to relax' routine which involves a couple of glasses/cans of booze and/or a spliff or something, the problem with this is it creates a paradigm in your brain where you associate relaxing with the action, therefore you look forward to it more, and if you can't have it for whatever reason, one gets tense, annoyed and frustrated. Thing is it doesn't have to be booze or drugs it can be anything from sex to gambling to yoga to buying cars etc etc.
Just that alcohol and drugs are stigmatised and so you end up feeling bad about that too.
An actual alcohol problem is usually apparent when you start to feel physical dependency i.e. cannot function regularly before you have taken a drink etc.

I would absolutely disagree with this.

If you are irritable on a Monday and Tuesday night because you can't have a drink and then come on here and ask the question I think you know that it has more of a hold over you than you would like it to.

Have a read on the Internet, people's blogs on drinking, Allen carrs book is quite good too.

Ultimately drinking less is a good thing for body and mind, but it's up to you to decide what is right for you.

You miss my point, which is that the illness is addiction not alcoholism. I think the OP would need to drink a lot more than he does before physical alcoholism is the problem. That's not to say that it might not become one if he doesn't nip the situation in the bud. It is perfectly possible to become dependent on behaviours or substances that are do not create physical dependance however the endorphin release associated with the habitual behaviour paves the way for chronic misuse. The converse is also possible, it's possible to become physically addicted to something that gives you little or no pleasure whatsoever, such as Methadone. There's no buzz whatsoever but if you don't maintain a dose, you will get sick. Which is why it's not a particularly effective treatment for opiate addiction in any case where the addict still enjoys the effects of opiates, or uses them to self-medicate underlying pain or stress issues.

In the case of the OP to me it dosn't sound like it is simply alcohol that is problematic, there's obviously some unresolved life issues going on that when addressed, will reduce the need to self-medicate. Otherwise there's a genuine issue that even if he stops drinking he may develop a problem gambling habit, for example.

Personally I would suggest the first/best course of action would be to get some counselling/psychotherapy lined up. A few sessions with a good counsellor can be very enlightening so long as one is prepared to hear what they have to say once they've got to know you.
7

Edited by vsonix on Thursday 25th August 21:45

[BoRED S2upid]

Willlll said:

Thanks for the responses guys, I'll try to reply as much as possible.

With regards to quantity it isn't the case of "take what they say and double it" . As sad as it is I always log my quantities to an app (Alcodroid) so I have a really good understanding of my drinking. My average for the last few months has been 28 units a week. Doing this has created some personal rules that I try to stick to and have done for the past couple of years...

- 28 units is a level that I deem ok. Pushing past that I start to feel bad.
- 3 days in a row and its definitely time for a day off
- Not to drink immediately after work or too early

As for loosing control its not that I feel I could become a cliche alcoholic. Its the breaking of these rules that would be the loss of control. I'm already seeing negatives from my habits like getting irritable and wanting a drink daily.

In response to how I am when I'm not drinking I'd say mostly fine. It's certainly an evening thing where I find myself craving a drink. I've lost interest in video games/tv etc and the idea of a perfect night in relaxing is listening to music, light internet browsing with a few drinks.

Anyway, so after thinking about it today I've decided on some changes that I think I'll benefit most from. 2 drinking at home days a week max and socially I'll take as it comes. If i can do this I'll be down to about 20 units a week and have more dry days that non most weeks.

I think that will be the first positive step.

Sounds like a good plan. More dry days than not is a very good move and I believe this is now NHS guidelines rather that units as people were banking units and smashing them in one go (or two or three).

Your way off being an alcoholic believe me as an ex off licence worker and bar owner but it's a slippery slope.

[funinhounslow]

e21Mark said:

In my experience (as a drug / alcohol worker) controlled drinking seldom, if ever works. Making deals with yourself to only drink certain amounts, or on certain days, is far harder to achieve than simply stopping all together. Alcohol weakens our resolve.

Anyway, best of luck with whatever path you choose.

This was precisely my experience. I failed miserably at cutting down. Once you limit your access to something of course it becomes more desirable in your mind. Plus the nature of alcohol is that when you've had one, you want another.

I read the easy way to control alcohol by Allen Carr in a couple of days and stopped straight away. That was 3.5 years ago and is one of the best things I did. Even moderate amounts of drinking soaks up huge amounts of time, money and energy that can be put to better use

The book is an easy read and costs about the same as a pint. If you are questioning your drinking it is well worth a read

[MacGee]

funinhounslow said:

e21Mark said:

In my experience (as a drug / alcohol worker) controlled drinking seldom, if ever works. Making deals with yourself to only drink certain amounts, or on certain days, is far harder to achieve than simply stopping all together. Alcohol weakens our resolve.

Anyway, best of luck with whatever path you choose.

This was precisely my experience. I failed miserably at cutting down. Once you limit your access to something of course it becomes more desirable in your mind. Plus the nature of alcohol is that when you've had one, you want another.

I read the easy way to control alcohol by Allen Carr in a couple of days and stopped straight away. That was 3.5 years ago and is one of the best things I did. Even moderate amounts of drinking soaks up huge amounts of time, money and energy that can be put to better use

The book is an easy read and costs about the same as a pint. If you are questioning your drinking it is well worth a read

I agree with all above. When I drink..which is too often..I just cant get enough of it. Even after a night out I'll have one at home before bed! I've done dry Januarys last 2 years and felt great. Becks Blue is a decent replacement for real beer. Problem is parties and meals with friends always involves wine etc. I think I just gotta abstain completely for heath and weight loss. As said above you body gets used to small amounts and so more is needed for the effect desired.

[davepoth]

I stopped in 2012 and haven't had a drop since. I'd not been a big drinker (maybe one a night after dinner) but when I went out for the night I got a bit silly, and it stopped being fun.

That is bit of a different circumstance to the OP (my problem was more acute than chronic) but I think it's important to ask the same question - why?

If you use the word "need" in your answer then you have a problem, and you should do something about it.

28 units is 33% over the old recommended maximum and double the current one.

http://www.ias.org.uk/Alcohol-knowledge-centre/Con...

You are drinking to excess, and I don't think your plan goes quite far enough to address it. If I were you I would try not having any beer in the house, so that the only drinking you do is social.

[98elise]

RobM77 said:

MYOB said:

The key is how you are when you're not drinking.

This is one key thing my wife was talking about the other day. For example, I drink more regularly than most, because I like it and I'm weak willed! However I could stop drinking just like I could stop windsurfing or stop driving my racing car (as I do every winter). I'm happier when I can enjoy a nice glass of wine though, purely because I like it.

In my early 20's I thought I might have a problem. 2 weeks on the wagon showed me it wasn't actually a problem.

I'm currently on holiday and don't have much in the way of alcohol in the villa, and I drive when we eat out so I'm pretty much on the wagon now.

It's good to know I'm not missing it at all so it's still just something I enjoy rather than need.

[Willlll]

Thanks for all the posts, gauging peoples opinions is really helpful. I'm definitely thinking my problem is a bit of a mental one. Like I've conditioned myself to feel good from alcohol, a bit like when people say there addicted to weed.

So this week is over and its one of the best weeks I've had this year for quantity. 19 units in total across 3 days.

The 1st day I started this thread. The next was a Cobra with a meal out and last night was another meal out where I did come home and have two drinks but it was 7pm and it was just to take me through until bed time.

Today's been a good test. My car was stolen in the night so its been a pretty crap day. Just winding down now and it is crossing my mind grabbing a drink, but I'm holding off and it's not taking too much effort.

So its a fresh week next week. I've spoke to the wife about it and while she was surprised I thought I had a problem she's being supportive. I've said no beer in the food shop this week :P

[Robertj21a]

Willlll said:

Thanks for all the posts, gauging peoples opinions is really helpful. I'm definitely thinking my problem is a bit of a mental one. Like I've conditioned myself to feel good from alcohol, a bit like when people say there addicted to weed.

So this week is over and its one of the best weeks I've had this year for quantity. 19 units in total across 3 days.

The 1st day I started this thread. The next was a Cobra with a meal out and last night was another meal out where I did come home and have two drinks but it was 7pm and it was just to take me through until bed time.

Today's been a good test. My car was stolen in the night so its been a pretty crap day. Just winding down now and it is crossing my mind grabbing a drink, but I'm holding off and it's not taking too much effort.

So its a fresh week next week. I've spoke to the wife about it and while she was surprised I thought I had a problem she's being supportive. I've said no beer in the food shop this week :P

....and that's why it gets so much easier. If you don't keep alcohol readily available it's just so much more trouble to get a drink - and it deters you bothering. Just don't buy any !

[TurboHatchback]

There's a very simple way to find out, just stop drinking altogether for a month. If it's hard, you fail or the very concept horrifies you then you have a problem, if it's neither here nor there then you're fine.

[andysgriff]

I would say yes you do, or will soon have as it your body will become more tolerant. I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic but could very easily be, Getting to work for 7am everyday is sobering, usually in bed for 9pm, I still manage 2 bottles of wine per night and maybe a few pints in the local beforehand. Weekends is a different matter.

[e21Mark]

andysgriff said:

I still manage 2 bottles of wine per night and maybe a few pints in the local beforehand.

[TartanPaint]

I know from similar, bitter experience that yes, you do have a problem. Act now.

Start tracking units, cost and calories
Learn what which of those is going to motivate you the most and act accordingly
Find a substitute habit (ideally, a healthier one)
Exercise instead if you can, although it never worked for me.

Finally, I can tell you that there is no point changing WHEN you drink. Telling yourself that beers is for weekends only from now on, or that Monday and Wednesday are dry days, will NOT work. You are not in control of how crappy Wednesday will be at work, and your cravings/habits don't give a damn what day of the week it is. They'll still pop up when you get home from work, because that's when they are usually rewarded. Cutting down based on inconsistent patterns of time of day/week is not a good strategy. In fact, it's doomed from the start.

Instead, my advice (from many years of experience with this sort of middle-ground, fully functioning, am-I-aren't-I, socially-acceptable type of alcoholism) is this: Strictly limit WHERE you drink. Disassociate your home from your habit. Allow yourself as much alcohol as you like, on any day of the week you like, but insist that you must not have it in the house. If you want a beer or 3 after work on a Monday, you need to walk to the pub for it. Or, if that's not geographically possible, you are only allowed to drink in the garden from now on. Yes, really. You need to get a chair, take your beer outside and stay there till you're finished drinking it. You may not reenter the house with a beer in your hand. Yes, even if it's raining.

Set your rules on WHERE you can drink, and stick to them. Your habits and associations can work with this, because it's consistent (unlike only drinking on some days of the week). Your own habits will learn to reinforce this. I mean, so what if you get a craving for beer every time you go to the pub? Far better than getting on every time you open the fridge!

Think I'm wrong? Why do you think you don't crave beer at work, even if you work late? Because you've probably never had a beer at work. So you don't have that association/trigger to overcome.

Also, be very open with your family (especially partner/spouse). Don't try to do this secretly or on your own. You need to announce this so others can hold you accountable for your decisions and actions. And they need to support you for a while, and let you go to the pub on crazy days of the week, because believe it or not you're building healthy habits. Eventually of course, you'll just stop going, or you'll find you can't be bothered putting your shoes to go out to the garden. Habit broken. Don't undo it by starting drinking in the house again.

[bitchstewie]

andysgriff said:

I still manage 2 bottles of wine per night and maybe a few pints in the local beforehand. Weekends is a different matter.

fk

[Cheib]

My father and grandfather were both alcoholics. I remember talking to my father about it...one thing he said to me was when you woke up the next morning wanting a drink/thinking about when you could have the next one that was when you were in trouble/an alcoholic. That may be a bit simplistic but that was one thing he said to me that stuck.

Only time I drink at home is when we're having a dinner and I fancy some wine with it (once every two or three weeks) or mates are round for a BBQ etc and have a few beers. That's not a conscious decision but maybe it's something inside me telling me its better that way....

My wife has a glass of wine most nights and I really don't see a problem with it. I've got a mate who met his Mrs at Uni and literally every night for twenty years he had a beer when he got in from work and then he'd share a bottle of wine with his wife. They stopped that when they had kids!

[zarjaz1991]

andysgriff said:

I would say yes you do, or will soon have as it your body will become more tolerant. I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic but could very easily be, Getting to work for 7am everyday is sobering, usually in bed for 9pm, I still manage 2 bottles of wine per night and maybe a few pints in the local beforehand. Weekends is a different matter.

Errrrm......

[Hub]

bhstewie said:

andysgriff said:

I still manage 2 bottles of wine per night and maybe a few pints in the local beforehand. Weekends is a different matter.

fk

Well that puts the OP's 28 units a week into context!

[GT03ROB]

andysgriff said:

I would say yes you do, or will soon have as it your body will become more tolerant. I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic but could very easily be, Getting to work for 7am everyday is sobering, usually in bed for 9pm, I still manage 2 bottles of wine per night and maybe a few pints in the local beforehand. Weekends is a different matter.

Thats another I'm not sure on the definition of alcoholic...... but I'd say that must be pretty close!!

[Getragdogleg]

The test is if you can stop drinking alcohol completely for a couple of weeks, if you struggle and cant stick to the self imposed ban then it might indicate you are more dependant than you think, if you breeze through it then you are ok but less consumption is a good thing anyway so you might cut back a bit to strike a better balance between enjoyment of a drink and the guilt you described.

Give it a go, I did and found I was in the "that was easy" camp, so I just never bothered to get back into the routine of having a drink at home at all.

I still will have a few when out but only if I am not driving and since we moved out into the country a year ago that happens less !

[anonymous-user]

I bottle of wine is about 700 calories as well, so looking at nearly 2000 calories being converted straight to fat as well.