Ex wants to stay friends - plea for advice
Discussion
TwistingMyMelon said:
about another mans sausage I would think i would go certifiably insane
Wouldn't surprise me the last month your "legal obligations" end is the same month her legs start opening for you...
In the last month why not just one more before taking the road?...Wouldn't surprise me the last month your "legal obligations" end is the same month her legs start opening for you...
Help the FBS
Basically do as everyone has already stated.
Woman know us men are pretty useless when the offer of sex is involved but for the moments of fun you will pay very dear emotionally.
If you were to start to get attached I am sure she would use this against you again.
Why not stick yourself on Tinder or just go out with a few mates and distance yourself from this woman.
Keep contact with her very limited but nice.
Good luck
Woman know us men are pretty useless when the offer of sex is involved but for the moments of fun you will pay very dear emotionally.
If you were to start to get attached I am sure she would use this against you again.
Why not stick yourself on Tinder or just go out with a few mates and distance yourself from this woman.
Keep contact with her very limited but nice.
Good luck
lurky said:
Thanks to you all, I knew I could rely on you,
I had a feeling the opinions would be practically unanimous. So I went through them carefully, reading, marking, learning and inwardly digesting, before pulling out a few pearls of wisdom...
You've got FBS - Full Bag Syndrome
So very true
'Head down 'til March (as per the court's instruction) then break all contact completely and get her the hell out of your life mate.'
'Listen very carefully. Be civil, but do not be friends. Not at all.It's over. Move on'
Wise words here.
I admit that I found the judge's instruction rather strange. I'd sown the seed of the idea myself - I wanted her to take the flat while I kept the house. I wanted to underline that it was a nice little earner that, with my help, would support her. Nobody could have predicted the holiday letting ban, which came into force only hours after the divorce. Did I feel schadenfreude? What do you think?
Meanwhile, the building of my new life continues. Having gained the necessary planning permission, I'll be letting out the ground floor of the house to holidaymakers. I've bought a double bed and a sofa bed, and a new TV/DVD ready to add Sky Q. I hope to have it all ready by Christmas.
I went over to hers this afternoon as arranged, to pick up some bits for my new business. She knows full well that March will spell the end of my input but I took the opportunity to restate my rule. I don't want to know anything at all about her 'friend with benefits' or the new bloke. So it's one word - and the phone goes down and the help stops.
This brought the news that she's dumped the distant bloke - again.
The plan, therefore is to fulfil my legal obligation with civility. I think she'll twig that permanent letting of the flat will bring in much less than holiday letting, especially when the costs are deducted. I think she'll sell up and probably p
s off back to the the States, from whence she came.
And will there be someone for me, the nice feller? Time will tell but I've seen enough of/about dating sites to know that I doubt they're for me.
There's rarely a true friendship that comes from two exes staying in contact in my experience. Usually the one that breaks off the relationship suggests it to somehow soften the blow to the other, or the one that's been broken up with asks for it as a way to cling to some hope, but one side fully intends on moving on with their lifeI had a feeling the opinions would be practically unanimous. So I went through them carefully, reading, marking, learning and inwardly digesting, before pulling out a few pearls of wisdom...
You've got FBS - Full Bag Syndrome
So very true 'Head down 'til March (as per the court's instruction) then break all contact completely and get her the hell out of your life mate.'
'Listen very carefully. Be civil, but do not be friends. Not at all.It's over. Move on'
Wise words here.
I admit that I found the judge's instruction rather strange. I'd sown the seed of the idea myself - I wanted her to take the flat while I kept the house. I wanted to underline that it was a nice little earner that, with my help, would support her. Nobody could have predicted the holiday letting ban, which came into force only hours after the divorce. Did I feel schadenfreude? What do you think?
Meanwhile, the building of my new life continues. Having gained the necessary planning permission, I'll be letting out the ground floor of the house to holidaymakers. I've bought a double bed and a sofa bed, and a new TV/DVD ready to add Sky Q. I hope to have it all ready by Christmas.
I went over to hers this afternoon as arranged, to pick up some bits for my new business. She knows full well that March will spell the end of my input but I took the opportunity to restate my rule. I don't want to know anything at all about her 'friend with benefits' or the new bloke. So it's one word - and the phone goes down and the help stops.
This brought the news that she's dumped the distant bloke - again.
The plan, therefore is to fulfil my legal obligation with civility. I think she'll twig that permanent letting of the flat will bring in much less than holiday letting, especially when the costs are deducted. I think she'll sell up and probably p
s off back to the the States, from whence she came. And will there be someone for me, the nice feller? Time will tell but I've seen enough of/about dating sites to know that I doubt they're for me.
It's not easy feeling that you're having your nose rubbed in it though. The best way really is to completely detach from it. If you cant do that, then you probably need to work out what you still need to be in touch about, and keep it to just that.
There's a risk of falling into a way of thinking that's vengeful. 'Then she'll see!!' or 'hope she rots in it' type thoughts are fairly natural but completely pointless in dealing with it.
As it letting your dick do the thinking. That needs to just do the pissing for a bit, let your head make sense of it and your heart fix itself up.
Keep it as business/professional as you can, you've got a new life to find your way in and the ex wife probably isnt going to help you get a firm footing if she's still dangling the power of the pussy around you
andy-xr said:
There's rarely a true friendship that comes from two exes staying in contact in my experience. Usually the one that breaks off the relationship suggests it to somehow soften the blow to the other, or the one that's been broken up with asks for it as a way to cling to some hope, but one side fully intends on moving on with their life
It's not easy feeling that you're having your nose rubbed in it though. The best way really is to completely detach from it. If you cant do that, then you probably need to work out what you still need to be in touch about, and keep it to just that.
There's a risk of falling into a way of thinking that's vengeful. 'Then she'll see!!' or 'hope she rots in it' type thoughts are fairly natural but completely pointless in dealing with it.
As it letting your dick do the thinking. That needs to just do the pissing for a bit, let your head make sense of it and your heart fix itself up.
Keep it as business/professional as you can, you've got a new life to find your way in and the ex wife probably isnt going to help you get a firm footing if she's still dangling the power of the pussy around you
The situation is a right old can of worms but I'm determined to make the best/most of it. I owe that to myself. It's not easy feeling that you're having your nose rubbed in it though. The best way really is to completely detach from it. If you cant do that, then you probably need to work out what you still need to be in touch about, and keep it to just that.
There's a risk of falling into a way of thinking that's vengeful. 'Then she'll see!!' or 'hope she rots in it' type thoughts are fairly natural but completely pointless in dealing with it.
As it letting your dick do the thinking. That needs to just do the pissing for a bit, let your head make sense of it and your heart fix itself up.
Keep it as business/professional as you can, you've got a new life to find your way in and the ex wife probably isnt going to help you get a firm footing if she's still dangling the power of the pussy around you
Today, I've helped her talk herself out of a £120 bill sent by a pushy letting agent - for putting together a marketing package she didn't ask for. I've also been organising the transfer of landlord's insurance from me to her.
The latest is that tomorrow evening's meet-up for dinner has been cancelled. I've been blown out so she can go to a Romanian wedding party with the 'friend with benefits'. No prizes for guessing what'll be going on tomorrow night.
It turns out she hasn't dumped the distant boyfriend as she claimed - he won't take p
s off for an answer. She was also complaining that the new local bloke is beginning to sidle up close. Well, she's 62, dresses like a 25-year old (remarkably young figure) and is often influenced by booze. My conclusion is that I'm being used and this won't be continuing, certainly not beyond the confines of the consent order (ie 'til next March). What I can expect to get is some things from the old letting business to use in my new one.
Before me? Fair enough? After me? No ta!
She was even trying to blag a 100-mile each way lift to see the distant suitor, who lives in my best mate's vicinity. No chance, naturally but that's what she is.
The plan, then, is to plough on, start the new business and make a happy life. Best laid and all that but we'll see.
Its sounds like you still feel attached to this girl, of course you have some happy memories of your time together, but that does not overule that she is a nutter. Playing these kind of games at her age shows how unstable and immature she is.
Move on, learn from it. Go out and have a bit of fun, get a hobby to take your mind off it (gym is great as it gets you in shape, meet new people and is healthy) give it a few months/a year you will find someone who appreciates you and your psycho-meter will be more accurate to detect and avoid this situation from happening again.
All the best OP.
Move on, learn from it. Go out and have a bit of fun, get a hobby to take your mind off it (gym is great as it gets you in shape, meet new people and is healthy) give it a few months/a year you will find someone who appreciates you and your psycho-meter will be more accurate to detect and avoid this situation from happening again.
All the best OP.
lurky said:
...so she can go to a Romanian wedding party with the 'friend with benefits'. No prizes for guessing what'll be going on tomorrow night.
lurky said:
Well, she's 62, dresses like a 25-year old (remarkably young figure)...
Would I be correct in saying that whilst you don't actually want her anymore, you fear that your future lovers may not physically be as attractive or as fun in the bedroom as this one?Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff