Confused about an ex-girlfriend

[anonymous-user]

Hainey said:

Petrolhead95 said:

She doesn't know as far as I'm aware. Still undecided so they're under my bed.

FWIW, and it's just advice, I'd cool off on giving them to her for a while. Let the relationship reset itself and see what comes out of it. It sounds like you two are talking like adults now and that can only be a good thing.

Booty calls are great but they do get in the way of meaningful dialogue after all.

Never know, maybe come Easter she will be getting some great gifts and believe it or not everyone on here is actually rooting for you.

Good luck.

Or maybe next christmas, april is a bit too soon me thinks
Good on you OP for not giving them to her in a bid to get her back!

[Petrolhead95]

All that jazz said:

Seriously?

This thread is missing a lot of information. I think you just like to tease us Mr 95.

Some questions that need answering :

1. Did she really just turn up on your folks' doorstep unannounced as your earlier post suggests or
2. Did you plead and beg her to come over because you were missing her and
3. offered to pay for her petrol? ()
4. Did you not give her anything as Christmas gifts?
5. Not even a card? ()
6. Did she get you anything?
7. ???
8. Profit?

Sure, I have nothing to hide.

1. Yes she did. We've been down there together before so she knows the address.
2. No I didn't. She said she missed me and I told her that I was missing her too.
3. No offer to pay for fuel or anything else.
4. She has had a couple of smaller gifts.
5. She has had a card, yes.
6. Yes, I got two gifts; two nice dress shirts.

Anything else?

[Petrolhead95]

Hainey said:

FWIW, and it's just advice, I'd cool off on giving them to her for a while. Let the relationship reset itself and see what comes out of it. It sounds like you two are talking like adults now and that can only be a good thing.

Booty calls are great but they do get in the way of meaningful dialogue after all.

Never know, maybe come Easter she will be getting some great gifts and believe it or not everyone on here is actually rooting for you.

Good luck.

Now ther anger and emotions have died down a little we can talk about it calmly.

[All that jazz]

So is it all back on again and you're both loved up and at it like rabbits then? Or does she still "need time to think" and "it's not you, it's me" etc?

[craigjm]

Hainey said:

Petrolhead95 said:

She doesn't know as far as I'm aware. Still undecided so they're under my bed.

FWIW, and it's just advice, I'd cool off on giving them to her for a while. Let the relationship reset itself and see what comes out of it. It sounds like you two are talking like adults now and that can only be a good thing.

Booty calls are great but they do get in the way of meaningful dialogue after all.

Never know, maybe come Easter she will be getting some great gifts and believe it or not everyone on here is actually rooting for you.

Good luck.

+1

[MYOB]

Petrolhead

Bit of advice. Stop humoring us all and stop posting on this thread.

Good luck with your situation.

[Timbuktu]

Does she ever go on your computer?

If so she may have found out by looking at your history that you've a 1k ring in store for her if she acts like a good girl for the next couple of weeks... but I'm sure you've already thought of that.

# cynic

[All that jazz]

All that jazz said:

So is it all back on again and you're both loved up and at it like rabbits then? Or does she still "need time to think" and "it's not you, it's me" etc?

[Petrolhead95]

No, she hasn't been sneaking around on my laptop. I can't stress that enough.

[bluenosewrx]

Nice one bud, hope it works out for you

[hyphen]

Petrolhead95 said:

6. Yes, I got two gifts; two nice dress shirts.

Very apt, you big girls blouse

Just kidding, if she drove all that way, then perhaps it will work out. All the best.

[johnwilliams77]

She already broke up with you very easily, do you really want to be with someone who can mess with your head so easily over not much?

[Petrolhead95]

We had a chat last night and came to the conclusion that I'll be moving home to my parents at the end of the month as things up here just aren't working. Despite being two hours away she's quite happy, or at least says she is, to try a long distance thing and come down a couple of times a month to try and keep something going. Not sure why she would offer to do that if she wasn't interested - that's quite a commitment in my eyes.

I guess worst case scenario it will make it clear if we're committed or not.

[xjay1337]

Petrolhead95 said:

We had a chat last night and came to the conclusion that I'll be moving home to my parents at the end of the month as things up here just aren't working. Despite being two hours away she's quite happy, or at least says she is, to try a long distance thing and come down a couple of times a month to try and keep something going. Not sure why she would offer to do that if she wasn't interested - that's quite a commitment in my eyes.

I guess worst case scenario it will make it clear if we're committed or not.

Long distance will not work for either of you.

i really don't know why you are clinging onto it. She has been proven to be a massive head fk.

I suspect whatever she had lined up with another lad either fizzled out of she is hoping you'll give her the expensive presents that she probably knows you have.

[johnwilliams77]

xjay1337 said:

Long distance will not work for either of you.

i really don't know why you are clinging onto it. She has been proven to be a massive head fk.

I suspect whatever she had lined up with another lad either fizzled out of she is hoping you'll give her the expensive presents that she probably knows you have.

This
I am guessing petrolhead has a fear he won't meet someone else so easily
When, infact, there's a good chance he'd meet someone better! That is close to him too

[SpeckledJim]

Petrolhead95 said:

We had a chat last night and came to the conclusion that I'll be moving home to my parents at the end of the month as things up here just aren't working. Despite being two hours away she's quite happy, or at least says she is, to try a long distance thing and come down a couple of times a month to try and keep something going. Not sure why she would offer to do that if she wasn't interested - that's quite a commitment in my eyes.

I guess worst case scenario it will make it clear if we're committed or not.

What, saying it? Hardly.

Judge her by her actions, not her pillow-talk.

[RicharDC5]

Petrolhead95 said:

We had a chat last night and came to the conclusion that I'll be moving home to my parents at the end of the month as things up here just aren't working. Despite being two hours away she's quite happy, or at least says she is, to try a long distance thing and come down a couple of times a month to try and keep something going. Not sure why she would offer to do that if she wasn't interested - that's quite a commitment in my eyes.

I guess worst case scenario it will make it clear if we're committed or not.

Cynically, it could just be her limiting her time with you, but still having the emotional/financial support of a part time relationship.

[All that jazz]

xjay1337 said:

Petrolhead95 said:

We had a chat last night and came to the conclusion that I'll be moving home to my parents at the end of the month as things up here just aren't working. Despite being two hours away she's quite happy, or at least says she is, to try a long distance thing and come down a couple of times a month to try and keep something going. Not sure why she would offer to do that if she wasn't interested - that's quite a commitment in my eyes.

I guess worst case scenario it will make it clear if we're committed or not.

Long distance will not work for either of you.

i really don't know why you are clinging onto it. She has been proven to be a massive head fk.

I suspect whatever she had lined up with another lad either fizzled out of she is hoping you'll give her the expensive presents that she probably knows you have.

The above tends to be my thoughts on it too, sorry to say. The long distance relationship "agreement" gives her the green light to put herself back on the market and start sniffing around guys where she lives without fear of any interference from you. Reverse the situation : if you were madly into some bewer and she decided to move 2 hours away you're not going to let that just happen without a fight to change her mind, and nor would you be happy to just "come down a couple of times a month to try and keep something going". The fact that she's agreed to you permanently moving 2 hours away without any protest should tell you all you need to know.

The twice-monthly visits will only happen when she's horny/wants a shag and I predict will abruptly end when your replacement arrives on the scene.

[Petrolhead95]

Your whole comment is based on your personal experience I guess? You can't tar everyone with the same brush. Everything you've just said goes against what she says and does but only I can say that. To you she's just a waste of time but you can't get an accurate grasp on it without being me.

I appreciate the advice but I'm still going ahead as I have nothing to lose from it. Thank you anyway!

[xjay1337]

Petrolhead95 said:

Your whole comment is based on your personal experience I guess? You can't tar everyone with the same brush. Everything you've just said goes against what she says and does but only I can say that. To you she's just a waste of time but you can't get an accurate grasp on it without being me.

I appreciate the advice but I'm still going ahead as I have nothing to lose from it. Thank you anyway!

As much as we pretend to be unique we are all pretty much the same in our basic actions, behaviours and feelings.

My whole comment is being based on being with a young woman in a similar situation to you.
Thought she was amazing. Hot. etc.
But I was being emotionally abused without realising it at the time.
And it's only with retrospect and learning that lesson that you come to see the situation for what it really was.
We have experienced over the last 25 or so pages the wayward and questionable way she BEHAVES and our collective experience on PH is that she is messing you around and before she had pretty obviously found herself a new man, which has since perhaps not gone to plan so she is keeping you around as an "option to fk" in the event she gets horny and wants a shag or fancies a few meals out over a weekend.

A relationship is not built on seeing each other a couple of times a month, seeing what happens etc. She has given you no commitment that she will be faithful to you, and your naivety cannot see that.

While you have nothing physical to lose (certainly not an arm), aside from some money, you are opening yourself up to a whole world of emotional hurt. A relationship is not supposed to be how yours is. It simply isn't. And one day you will realise that but I fear you are determined to be a lemming in the short term.