Confused about an ex-girlfriend
Discussion
Petrolhead95 said:
Your whole comment is based on your personal experience I guess? You can't tar everyone with the same brush. Everything you've just said goes against what she says and does but only I can say that. To you she's just a waste of time but you can't get an accurate grasp on it without being me.
One can only comment on the (limited) details provided. Unless you wish to add to your OP that she was crying rivers of tears into your pillow and was pleading and begging you not to go? If that didn't happen and you only got the token offer of visiting you twice per month "to try and keep something going" then it's pretty clear she does not have much in the way of feelings for you - certainly not the sort of feelings you want her to have for you.It sounds to me like you've been friend zoned by her and are now firmly in FWB territory. She's showering you with just enough platitudes to keep you on the hook and make you think that the relationship is going somewhere and you're falling for it like a sucker. Women are good at this s
t (even the young ones) and know most men will hang off their every word, especially if they're fit and attractive. It's only when you get older and you've been through it a few times that you wise up to it and can spot the signs from a mile away.
All that jazz said:
One can only comment on the (limited) details provided. Unless you wish to add to your OP that she was crying rivers of tears into your pillow and was pleading and begging you not to go? If that didn't happen and you only got the token offer of visiting you twice per month "to try and keep something going" then it's pretty clear she does not have much in the way of feelings for you - certainly not the sort of feelings you want her to have for you.
It sounds to me like you've been friend zoned by her and are now firmly in FWB territory. She's showering you with just enough platitudes to keep you on the hook and make you think that the relationship is going somewhere and you're falling for it like a sucker. Women are good at this st (even the young ones) and know most men will hang off their every word, especially if they're fit and attractive. It's only when you get older and you've been through it a few times that you wise up to it and can spot the signs from a mile away.
She was literally crying her eyes out begging me not to go. Then the second time we had that same talk she was crying again and then a couple of days ago when we sat down and spoke about it in depth she cried again. She's either the most convincing liar or, more likely, doesn't want me to leave.It sounds to me like you've been friend zoned by her and are now firmly in FWB territory. She's showering you with just enough platitudes to keep you on the hook and make you think that the relationship is going somewhere and you're falling for it like a sucker. Women are good at this s
t (even the young ones) and know most men will hang off their every word, especially if they're fit and attractive. It's only when you get older and you've been through it a few times that you wise up to it and can spot the signs from a mile away.Petrolhead95 said:
All that jazz said:
One can only comment on the (limited) details provided. Unless you wish to add to your OP that she was crying rivers of tears into your pillow and was pleading and begging you not to go? If that didn't happen and you only got the token offer of visiting you twice per month "to try and keep something going" then it's pretty clear she does not have much in the way of feelings for you - certainly not the sort of feelings you want her to have for you.
It sounds to me like you've been friend zoned by her and are now firmly in FWB territory. She's showering you with just enough platitudes to keep you on the hook and make you think that the relationship is going somewhere and you're falling for it like a sucker. Women are good at this st (even the young ones) and know most men will hang off their every word, especially if they're fit and attractive. It's only when you get older and you've been through it a few times that you wise up to it and can spot the signs from a mile away.
She was literally crying her eyes out begging me not to go. Then the second time we had that same talk she was crying again and then a couple of days ago when we sat down and spoke about it in depth she cried again. She's either the most convincing liar or, more likely, doesn't want me to leave.It sounds to me like you've been friend zoned by her and are now firmly in FWB territory. She's showering you with just enough platitudes to keep you on the hook and make you think that the relationship is going somewhere and you're falling for it like a sucker. Women are good at this s
t (even the young ones) and know most men will hang off their every word, especially if they're fit and attractive. It's only when you get older and you've been through it a few times that you wise up to it and can spot the signs from a mile away.
Perhaps if you'd mentioned that before you might've received different responses. 
OK, so she's cried you a river umpteen times and pleaded and begged you not to go, but you've decided to be a heartless b
d and ignore all this and send her packing? 
I'm not sure who's the victim here anymore . Also, tears from an 18 year girl are inevitable regardless of the content of the bad news so don't read too much into that.If it's true what you've written above (
) and you're not grossly exaggerating what actually happened, why have you not returned home and tried to make a go of it? I'm beginning to see a picture emerging that it's you that's messing her about, not the other way round. I think it's six of one and half a dozen of the other here.Just do what you want
. You'll figure it out in the end!All that jazz said:
Perhaps if you'd mentioned that before you might've received different responses. OK, so she's cried you a river umpteen times and pleaded and begged you not to go, but you've decided to be a heartless b
d and ignore all this and send her packing? I'm not sure who's the victim here anymore . Also, tears from an 18 year girl are inevitable regardless of the content of the bad news so don't read too much into that.If it's true what you've written above (
) and you're not grossly exaggerating what actually happened, why have you not returned home and tried to make a go of it? I'm beginning to see a picture emerging that it's you that's messing her about, not the other way round. I think it's six of one and half a dozen of the other here.Just do what you want
. You'll figure it out in the end!I'm surprised nobody has asked for pictures or a custard test yet with this being PH.
Petrolhead95 said:
I'm not exaggerating at all. The whole thing is a mess and I don't know how to fix it. Things right now between us are like how they were when we first started dating which is a good sign in my eyes.
I'm surprised nobody has asked for pictures or a custard test yet with this being PH.
Would you provide them if they did? No, thought not, hence why no-one's bothered asking I'm surprised nobody has asked for pictures or a custard test yet with this being PH.
.If you've nowt else better to do with your time then go back and fill your boots and see where it goes, but expect some mind games at some point. If it doesn't happen then that's good and it might actually lead somewhere. I think you're both as bad as each other having read all your posts on this debacle. Ask her outright if she wants you back and to get back together? If she answers with a positive yes and sounds sincere then crack on. If you get a "not sure, need time to think" kinda answer then f
k her off and ignore all the earlier crocodile tears as that's all they were.One other thing that is intriguing me : you mentioned in an earlier post that you had a job stacking shelves in a supermarket - this was when you were still living in your own gaff. As you've been 2 hours away at your folks house since before Christmas and are still there now, plus you can't drive, how have you been working?
Petrolhead95 said:
I'm not exaggerating at all. The whole thing is a mess and I don't know how to fix it. Things right now between us are like how they were when we first started dating which is a good sign in my eyes.
I'm surprised nobody has asked for pictures or a custard test yet with this being PH.
Pictures please. I'm surprised nobody has asked for pictures or a custard test yet with this being PH.
Happy now?
Wobbegong said:
P.s don't feel too deflated. Every one of us have gone through this and thought we were losing 'the one'. In a few years time you'll cringe when you think of what happened....but it does take a little while to get over 
I'll be 40 next year and still think it every so often when various lasses come and go. The good thing with maturity is you can reflect quickly on past experiences and realise what a load of st that is and how another "one" will come along a short while later. And in between the "ones" there are the non-ones (and with tinder these days there can be multiple not-ones at any one time). By all means carry on entertaining this car crash but for those of us a few years older, the inevitable is on the horizon. All you are doing is wasting your youth (and hers) on trying to repair something that isn't worth repairing. If things don't work now, she isn't the one and neither are you hers. Simple. There are millions of pairings out there you can be part of - why persevere with this one that is full of strife?
It's clear what you will do in this situation. The outcome is even clearer to everyone else.
We're officially unofficially back together again - we're not labelling things at the moment incase it puts pressure on it to work. Things aren't perfect but we're both working on it to try and make it work and we are no longer arguing. Still living away from home as I got offered a job that pays well so I can stay up here.
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