Feeling down, not depressed, just empty.
Discussion
TheExcession said:
King Herald said:
apart from three weeks of man flu
King Herald said:
Man flu doesn't help either.
^^^ Pay some attention to post flu depression.It's nasty.
A very likable fella I knew years back on a farm where I was working had a severe case of flu over Christmas. I arrived back from the UK, exchanged pleasantries but had a full list of stuff to catch up on in the workshop and short shrifted him a bit
A few days later I was cleaning his brains, skull fragments and blood off the walls in his farm outhouse. Silly bugger had taken his shotgun for a chew.
Alcohol was a major factor as I was clearing out empty bottles of vodka from every cupboard and also under his pillows and duvet. Seems you are on top of that.
I've a lot of your posts over the years and you've always come across as thoroughly decent.
You've just moved from a tropical climate to the dead and miserable UK midwinter - that's bound to affect you.
I've no real advice to offer other than I would suggest that having committed appointments can make a real difference.
I realise that you've just moved back to the UK, how many people in the local area do you know?
Go out and be a lacky/gofa for a day or two a week, find a local satellite TV installer and carry tools, pull cables for him. Find a local garage and offer to just sweep the floors/tidy up.
Anything that will enable you to be around someone who is motivated and means you have to meet a schedule of being ready in the morning.
Hope you get going again.
Best
Ex
Thanks for the kind words.
Well, I got motivated today, went and got an application form for another school, then took daughter to Frank and Benny's for lunch. Have to fill the form in and go to the school tomorrow.
We had a good video chat with the Mrs on Messenger today, she feels much the same as we do here, she is also in an empty house with nothing really to do.
One day at a time....
I have to drag myself out to the garage and force myself to get some inspiration. Maybe then the enthuse for a new project will grow.
SpeckledJim said:
Get a job? Not because you need to for the money, but because having someone relying on you to help might be what you need to drag you out of the fug.
Being needed and useful is a key driver for motivation.
Being retired isn't something everyone is naturally good at, or enjoys.
When I was still in my teens I was told that having a job you basically dislike makes everything else in life all the more sweeter. I understand now what that meant. I didn't particularly like going offshore, for 23 years, but it did make the days at home more precious, gave more incentive to do things every day.Being needed and useful is a key driver for motivation.
Being retired isn't something everyone is naturally good at, or enjoys.
Maybe a good idea to look for something, even part time, when the wife's gets here and school etc is sorted out.
King Herald said:
Thanks for the kind words.
King Herald said:
I have to drag myself out to the garage and force myself to get some inspiration. Maybe then the enthuse for a new project will grow.
One of the hardest things I'm finding at the moment is motivating myself to do anything for myself.A mate will call and say 'Can I have a lift to the airport tomorrow?' and I'll be up, showered and out of the door in good time.
Elderly parents might call up and say 'Could you come take a look at so & so?' and it's never a problem.
So why is it that I only do the washing a day before I run out of clean socks? It's a weird head place to be at.
Hopefully things for you will improve when your wife arrives, but if you're anything like me you won't even start tidying the house until three hours before you're due to set off on the airport run
SpeckledJim said:
Get a job? Not because you need to for the money, but because having someone relying on you to help might be what you need to drag you out of the fug.
Being needed and useful is a key driver for motivation.
Being retired isn't something everyone is naturally good at, or enjoys.
This, along with lots of other good advice on here, dog, exercise etc Being needed and useful is a key driver for motivation.
Being retired isn't something everyone is naturally good at, or enjoys.
A friend of mine is late 60's now and has been a wagon driver all his life, he was doing runs to the Middle East and beyond in the 70's, and still keeps himself active with some Rock n Roll tours through the year just to keep himself active and entertained.
I reckon the fostering dogs idea that someone posted could be a good one for you, you love dogs, nice bit of exercise and something to regularly focus on.
Alternately my car needs a bloody good wash if you're that bored
Atomic12C said:
It is well recognized that 'low mood' cases rise dramatically in the months of January, February and March (in the UK) due to the accumulation of low levels of sunlight.
And as a result a vitamin D deficiency which can be linked to 'mood' and a general feeling of "can't be ar$ed".
Get on to the vitamin D pills.
(Actually get the Calcium pills that have vitamin D in them also)
Hmm, that is a good point, thank for reminding me.And as a result a vitamin D deficiency which can be linked to 'mood' and a general feeling of "can't be ar$ed".
Get on to the vitamin D pills.
(Actually get the Calcium pills that have vitamin D in them also)
Vit D tablets are a great shout, never considered that before.
I'm feeling similarly demotivated having just come back from over a year abroad. Constant sunshine, strangely, gets annoying after a while but coming straight back from Caribbean warmth into this awful half-light has been a shock to the system.
A month on and I'm finally getting some routines sorted out and hobbies dusted off. Give it time and concentrate on the things that NEED sorting rather than beating yourself up about it not all being perfect yet.
Summer's coming!
I'm feeling similarly demotivated having just come back from over a year abroad. Constant sunshine, strangely, gets annoying after a while but coming straight back from Caribbean warmth into this awful half-light has been a shock to the system.
A month on and I'm finally getting some routines sorted out and hobbies dusted off. Give it time and concentrate on the things that NEED sorting rather than beating yourself up about it not all being perfect yet.
Summer's coming!
Sounds like you need a project in your life - kit car,aborted classic car/bike restoration.
From what you've achieved in the past you seem to a pretty accomplished engineer with a can-do attitude - the sort of skills very much in demand at Steam railway workshops as a volunteer. I realise this won't float everyone's boat. Visited Bluebell railway fairly recently and it looked like fun and not just all about steam trains.
From what you've achieved in the past you seem to a pretty accomplished engineer with a can-do attitude - the sort of skills very much in demand at Steam railway workshops as a volunteer. I realise this won't float everyone's boat. Visited Bluebell railway fairly recently and it looked like fun and not just all about steam trains.
I actually bought some vitamin D tablets yesterday, started banging them down two a day.
Not sure if I want to get into dog ownership just yet, as we still basically own 8 already and it was hard to leave them behind, to an uncertain fate, when we moved over here.
Hobbies. Hmmm, I feel the need to tinker, but can't seem to decide what I want to get into. I'd like a change from the hot rod direction I was always moving in, but still can't generate any enthuse for what yet. When the flu and the weather improves I'll have a go at cleaning out the garage, coat of paint maybe.
Off to another school today, put an application in. I did feel more positive when I woke up this morning, just thinking about that, and this thread, so that is a start. The flu seems to have abated a bit, with a mix of Covonia, night nurse and Vicks vapor rub, plus the vitamins.
Not sure if I want to get into dog ownership just yet, as we still basically own 8 already and it was hard to leave them behind, to an uncertain fate, when we moved over here.
Hobbies. Hmmm, I feel the need to tinker, but can't seem to decide what I want to get into. I'd like a change from the hot rod direction I was always moving in, but still can't generate any enthuse for what yet. When the flu and the weather improves I'll have a go at cleaning out the garage, coat of paint maybe.
Off to another school today, put an application in. I did feel more positive when I woke up this morning, just thinking about that, and this thread, so that is a start. The flu seems to have abated a bit, with a mix of Covonia, night nurse and Vicks vapor rub, plus the vitamins.
Do voluntary work. It's very rewarding, there's plenty of choice and it gets you out of the house and interacting with people. I work with the NHS as a patients' representative on committees dealing with drug procurement, service reviews, governance - it floats my boat and is my way of saying 'thank you' for getting me through cancer and heart problems.
Knocking back vitamin D pills? Not me, I'm outside every day for at least an hour, often much more, and walking back to fitness after my treatment - exercise is far better for you. I'm not a dog person so I take a camera instead to improve my landscape photography skills and I'm finding out more about the area in which I live.
Your choice of course but this works for me.
Knocking back vitamin D pills? Not me, I'm outside every day for at least an hour, often much more, and walking back to fitness after my treatment - exercise is far better for you. I'm not a dog person so I take a camera instead to improve my landscape photography skills and I'm finding out more about the area in which I live.
Your choice of course but this works for me.
Start off small, then work up from there. What do you fancy to eat? Curry? - order one & get it delivered. Not sure? Read the dirty take away thread and come up with ideas...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
What sort of films do you enjoy? List the ways you can watch a film (Netflix, amazon video etc) and ask for recommendations here & watch it.
Fancy a drink? Neck a big Redbull in one go & see what being depressed & vibrating at the same time feels like etc
What used to make you smile? What good song? Youtube clip? etc.. Go with them & see how you feel afterwards. (fail videos, best prank videos etc)
Watch Pr0n to distract you for a few minutes.... ?
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
What sort of films do you enjoy? List the ways you can watch a film (Netflix, amazon video etc) and ask for recommendations here & watch it.
Fancy a drink? Neck a big Redbull in one go & see what being depressed & vibrating at the same time feels like etc
What used to make you smile? What good song? Youtube clip? etc.. Go with them & see how you feel afterwards. (fail videos, best prank videos etc)
Watch Pr0n to distract you for a few minutes.... ?
Been out and busy today, went to see another school, took my baby out for lunch, still feel Ebola death flu but more positive today.
Off to the docs tomorrow to see if I have MERs, maybe picked it up flying through Qatar three weeks ago. Symptoms are malaise, tiredness, aching, hard to breathe, flu-like symptoms, and I have the lot.
Off to the docs tomorrow to see if I have MERs, maybe picked it up flying through Qatar three weeks ago. Symptoms are malaise, tiredness, aching, hard to breathe, flu-like symptoms, and I have the lot.
OP - I'm just about to be in a situation similar to you. I'm being made redundant and will be 'retired' as of March 1 at nearly 54 but have actually been on gardening leave since Jan 1 (and it sounds like my finances are similar to yours).
Before I decide what to do next (I have plans for a small business but won't be for 2 years) I'm giving myself permission not to do anything if I don't want to, but will definitely spend more time in the gym to get fit (especially as being outside right now is pants in this weather) and I will hopefully find an opportunity to do some charity work 1-2 days per week. Once the weather picks up I also have loads to do outside as I have been developing a wildflower meadow over the last yearn which should start to bloom this year.
What you need is one or two things to give you a) purpose and b) structure to your day. I have found that by 'having all the time in the world' you actually find it difficult to work out what to do because you can do anything. A little focus to give you a) and b) really will help.
Whereabouts are you in the UK?
Before I decide what to do next (I have plans for a small business but won't be for 2 years) I'm giving myself permission not to do anything if I don't want to, but will definitely spend more time in the gym to get fit (especially as being outside right now is pants in this weather) and I will hopefully find an opportunity to do some charity work 1-2 days per week. Once the weather picks up I also have loads to do outside as I have been developing a wildflower meadow over the last yearn which should start to bloom this year.
What you need is one or two things to give you a) purpose and b) structure to your day. I have found that by 'having all the time in the world' you actually find it difficult to work out what to do because you can do anything. A little focus to give you a) and b) really will help.
Whereabouts are you in the UK?
I'm in the Midlands, north of Wolverhampton.
I'm pretty sure if I can just shake this bloody flu I'll be far better. Priority is to get the daughter into school, baby I may end up doing a school run twice a day as it is a good mile and a half to the school we just looked into. Maybe she could walk, or get a bus, but it is a bit of an indirect route so we'll have to work on that.
I did take liberties when I first retired, by deciding to do nothing some days, instead of always trying to do at least one productive thing. And then it was so easy to slip into doing nothing every day. All the years I dreamed of being 'independently wealthy' and when it arrived it was a bit of an anti climax. Not that I ever want to go back to the hypocritical amateurish blls
t offshore operations I was in before......
I'm pretty sure if I can just shake this bloody flu I'll be far better. Priority is to get the daughter into school, baby I may end up doing a school run twice a day as it is a good mile and a half to the school we just looked into. Maybe she could walk, or get a bus, but it is a bit of an indirect route so we'll have to work on that.
I did take liberties when I first retired, by deciding to do nothing some days, instead of always trying to do at least one productive thing. And then it was so easy to slip into doing nothing every day. All the years I dreamed of being 'independently wealthy' and when it arrived it was a bit of an anti climax. Not that I ever want to go back to the hypocritical amateurish blls
t offshore operations I was in before......King Herald said:
I'm in the Midlands, north of Wolverhampton.
I'm pretty sure if I can just shake this bloody flu I'll be far better. Priority is to get the daughter into school, baby I may end up doing a school run twice a day as it is a good mile and a half to the school we just looked into. Maybe she could walk, or get a bus, but it is a bit of an indirect route so we'll have to work on that.
I did take liberties when I first retired, by deciding to do nothing some days, instead of always trying to do at least one productive thing. And then it was so easy to slip into doing nothing every day. All the years I dreamed of being 'independently wealthy' and when it arrived it was a bit of an anti climax. Not that I ever want to go back to the hypocritical amateurish bllst offshore operations I was in before......
Too far for a quick pint then I'm pretty sure if I can just shake this bloody flu I'll be far better. Priority is to get the daughter into school, baby I may end up doing a school run twice a day as it is a good mile and a half to the school we just looked into. Maybe she could walk, or get a bus, but it is a bit of an indirect route so we'll have to work on that.
I did take liberties when I first retired, by deciding to do nothing some days, instead of always trying to do at least one productive thing. And then it was so easy to slip into doing nothing every day. All the years I dreamed of being 'independently wealthy' and when it arrived it was a bit of an anti climax. Not that I ever want to go back to the hypocritical amateurish blls
t offshore operations I was in before......
Keep posting and let us know how you get on - if just to keep me out of trouble moving forwards
garyhun said:
Too far for a quick pint then
Keep posting and let us know how you get on - if just to keep me out of trouble moving forwards
Unfortunately I gave up drinking about three months ago, which might be part of the reason for the misery.... Keep posting and let us know how you get on - if just to keep me out of trouble moving forwards
I shall endeavor to update this thread, assuming all goes well.
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