Help with Alcoholics
Discussion
A friend of mine has an alcoholic relative who has recently been hospitalised and nearly died. The hospital now looking to release him but there is no one to help only my friend. Rehab has been tried and not worked and huge cost to it. Is there support for someone like this or care that can be adopted or would you have to section someone, but assume you'd need good grounds for this?
A sad story, but not sure if there is any help for them as how do you look after a mature alcoholic?
A sad story, but not sure if there is any help for them as how do you look after a mature alcoholic?
When I went to a support group for families of addicts the concensus was,unfortunately,you can’t really help an alcoholic. The reasoning was drink is so readily available,it’s unlawful to with hold their money and they are adults.
We may disagree with their choices but they are that,their choices.
We may disagree with their choices but they are that,their choices.
smifffymoto said:
When I went to a support group for families of addicts the concensus was,unfortunately,you can’t really help an alcoholic. The reasoning was drink is so readily available,it’s unlawful to with hold their money and they are adults.
We may disagree with their choices but they are that,their choices.
We may disagree with their choices but they are that,their choices.
What help does the relative need? Bill said:
smifffymoto said:
When I went to a support group for families of addicts the concensus was,unfortunately,you can’t really help an alcoholic. The reasoning was drink is so readily available,it’s unlawful to with hold their money and they are adults.
We may disagree with their choices but they are that,their choices.
We may disagree with their choices but they are that,their choices.
What help does the relative need? Parents in their 80’s trying to look after their alcoholic 50 year old children.
Boobonman said:
Hero dose of magic mushrooms, under controlled circumstances obviously. Incredible advances in addiction therapy with pyschedelics at the moment.
Perhaps a change of govt might lead to less insane and more evidence-led drug law, it would help research into this promising field.My friends ex is like this. Nice girl but really struggles with it and when she stops she goes cold turkey and it bad, has fits. He's tried everything and I've tried to help from a distance but it seems to be so hard. I dont have an answer I'm afraid but I will watch this with interest. I wish you luck with it all. This girls dad is a recovered alcoholic but still doesn't give the right support. I fear it's a matter of time for her 
There isn't much you or anyone can do until the alcoholic finds a good enough reason to want to quit.
In reality they can leave a trail of emotional and sometimes physical destruction plus financial ruin of partners and professed loved ones in their wake, as can other addictions/desires, its not just the alcoholic or other addict who suffers, tread warily.
In reality they can leave a trail of emotional and sometimes physical destruction plus financial ruin of partners and professed loved ones in their wake, as can other addictions/desires, its not just the alcoholic or other addict who suffers, tread warily.
smifffymoto said:
Unfortunately it’s one of those that you have to experience to fully comprehend,my family member wasn’t an alcoholic. Some of the stories I heard were heartbreaking.
Parents in their 80’s trying to look after their alcoholic 50 year old children.
Unfortunately I have the t-shirt.Parents in their 80’s trying to look after their alcoholic 50 year old children.
TBH it's a pointless question, it's a thankless task as policemen with the likelihood of being nurse as well.
White-Noise said:
My friends ex is like this. Nice girl but really struggles with it and when she stops she goes cold turkey and it bad, has fits. He's tried everything and I've tried to help from a distance but it seems to be so hard. I dont have an answer I'm afraid but I will watch this with interest. I wish you luck with it all. This girls dad is a recovered alcoholic but still doesn't give the right support. I fear it's a matter of time for her
Cold turkey from alcohol can kill you. I sadly have the same T shirt.
Wife is a full time alcoholic and has ruined our children's lives and mine too. I don't live with her but unfortunately two of my kids, 18 and 21, insist on living with her. Thus lead a similar lifestyle of doing feck all and lying in their beds all day. The youngest now addicted to drugs.
It has destroyed my health and wealth.
I've tried everything and it nearly ruined me to the point that I couldn't stop thinking about killing myself but luckily I ended up crying my eyes out, 61 years old, in front of a doctor that I'd never seen before, last October.
He put me on antidepressants, I'd always been against the idea, but they have literally saved my life.
All I can do now is try not to get too involved and watch from afar.
I hate alcoholics with a vengeance.
Sorry about your friend, awful place to be
Wife is a full time alcoholic and has ruined our children's lives and mine too. I don't live with her but unfortunately two of my kids, 18 and 21, insist on living with her. Thus lead a similar lifestyle of doing feck all and lying in their beds all day. The youngest now addicted to drugs.
It has destroyed my health and wealth.
I've tried everything and it nearly ruined me to the point that I couldn't stop thinking about killing myself but luckily I ended up crying my eyes out, 61 years old, in front of a doctor that I'd never seen before, last October.
He put me on antidepressants, I'd always been against the idea, but they have literally saved my life.
All I can do now is try not to get too involved and watch from afar.
I hate alcoholics with a vengeance.
Sorry about your friend, awful place to be
I have a bit of experience of this and my answer is unfortunately 'absolutely nothing'.
One of my best mates growing up became an alcoholic in his 20s. A lovely lad from a really nice family. Sadly the drink turned him into a monster, but he couldn't stay away from it. We all tried to help him in so many ways, he had several stays in rehab. One day his mum came to see me, in tears, begging me to help him. In reality there was nothing anyone could do, but she was desperate. His behaviour became so destructive that I had to distance myself from him for the sake of my family. He died last year at the age of 36. Incredibly sad but I don't think anyone could have changed the outcome, other than him.
One of my best mates growing up became an alcoholic in his 20s. A lovely lad from a really nice family. Sadly the drink turned him into a monster, but he couldn't stay away from it. We all tried to help him in so many ways, he had several stays in rehab. One day his mum came to see me, in tears, begging me to help him. In reality there was nothing anyone could do, but she was desperate. His behaviour became so destructive that I had to distance myself from him for the sake of my family. He died last year at the age of 36. Incredibly sad but I don't think anyone could have changed the outcome, other than him.
Tom8 said:
A friend of mine has an alcoholic relative who has recently been hospitalised and nearly died. The hospital now looking to release him but there is no one to help only my friend. Rehab has been tried and not worked and huge cost to it. Is there support for someone like this or care that can be adopted or would you have to section someone, but assume you'd need good grounds for this?
A sad story, but not sure if there is any help for them as how do you look after a mature alcoholic?
Like many of the other replies, your friend needs to put as much distance between themselves and the alcoholic relative. It's the only way they can save themself from mental, emotional and possibly financial damage.A sad story, but not sure if there is any help for them as how do you look after a mature alcoholic?
Hopefully your friend listens and doesn't learn this lesson the hard way...
I work with someone who admits to being an alcoholic. He says he can easily not have a drink but if he has one, he then can’t stop. Once he starts he drinks a lot.
He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
The Gauge said:
I work with someone who admits to being an alcoholic. He says he can easily not have a drink but if he has one, he then can’t stop. Once he starts he drinks a lot.
He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
Your colleague may be many things but alcoholic is not one of them.He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
StevieBee said:
The Gauge said:
I work with someone who admits to being an alcoholic. He says he can easily not have a drink but if he has one, he then can’t stop. Once he starts he drinks a lot.
He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
Your colleague may be many things but alcoholic is not one of them.He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
That’s such crap, you can be an alcoholic without drinking every day, with a level of control it’s not about the repetition or frequency it’s about what it does.
Unfortunately for most alcoholics it’s not about the drink per see it’s about the release, it’s about being able to unshackle yourself from your demons. Whatever helps you’ll abuse. It’s generally about more deep underlying issues. Alcoholics need to find their own path to recovery.
Unfortunately for most alcoholics it’s not about the drink per see it’s about the release, it’s about being able to unshackle yourself from your demons. Whatever helps you’ll abuse. It’s generally about more deep underlying issues. Alcoholics need to find their own path to recovery.
StevieBee said:
The Gauge said:
I work with someone who admits to being an alcoholic. He says he can easily not have a drink but if he has one, he then can’t stop. Once he starts he drinks a lot.
He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
Your colleague may be many things but alcoholic is not one of them.He says the only way to stop drinking is to have a kebab or similar at the end of the night, then he can stop and go to bed.
'Problem drinker' I'd label it. I can quite happily leave it, not had a drink since NYE as it goes. But if I have one, I'm on it until bedtime. And can easily get into the bad habit of drinking every day. A few beers after work... a nice bottle of wine at the weekend... it all starts to add up. Until you realise you drank about three bottles of wine last night and haven't had a sober night in weeks...
I'm aware of the problem. Trying to keep it to special occasions only now.
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