The waiting is the hardest bit
Discussion
Something in my eye again.
For me it is a privilege to have become your friend Russell, and though busy lives and several counties separate us you need only pick up the phone and I would be there.
For those of you who have shared in Russell and Lily's journey through his words here I would urge you to meet the man if ever the chance arises, a more gracious and sincere fella you will not encounter. Always well mannered and gentle but possessing an inner strength that would make a Rugby team recoil.
Apologies for the love-in people but reading his posts always puts me in reflective mood. PH is a much better place with DMN around.
For me it is a privilege to have become your friend Russell, and though busy lives and several counties separate us you need only pick up the phone and I would be there.
For those of you who have shared in Russell and Lily's journey through his words here I would urge you to meet the man if ever the chance arises, a more gracious and sincere fella you will not encounter. Always well mannered and gentle but possessing an inner strength that would make a Rugby team recoil.
Apologies for the love-in people but reading his posts always puts me in reflective mood. PH is a much better place with DMN around.
drivin_me_nuts said:
rog3k said:
+1 - definitely.
For me, it's not 'cancer' but mnd claiming my wife's life - not long to go now. Your words, Russ have been so real & comforting to me & I just hope I can come out of all this in a similar fashion.
Always here to lend an ear brother PHer. You don't walk alone. We are legion us army who stand, watch and love. We are legion and we carry our fallen. We leave none behind. From the bottom of my heart, my best wishes to you and to a day soon of peaceful kind resolution for your love. For me, it's not 'cancer' but mnd claiming my wife's life - not long to go now. Your words, Russ have been so real & comforting to me & I just hope I can come out of all this in a similar fashion.
May be we also may meet up one day - we don't seem to live that far apart (down south, anyway) & I sometimes have a purpose to travel to the south east.
Like most hospices, the Martlets have a 'light up a life' ceremony every year and last night, for th third time I attended one hosted by a local church. These are wonderful little intimate affairs that offer the opportunity to share a few moments of time with those who have also taken that long walk down the hospice corridors.
I remember our welcome as if it was yesterday - the two of us together and then me, some six weeks later walking out the door alone. That was the longest and most lonely walk I have ever taken and one that still feels as if it happened only yesterday.
This year some of my dearest friends have had their 'near miss' with the cancer monster and for one in particular who will be reading this and is about to take the walk to the grave side soon enough to say their own deeply personal goodbye, I say this;
When the pain of passing diminishes a little and the ache of loneliness turns from being an agonising hole into something a little less abyss-like, the mind does indeed move to places kinder and less tourmented. My lass suffered terribly - her dance with the cancer monster was brutal and utterly relentless, yet...
... yet, I recall my lass' smiles and expression throughout the worst of it. Even a blind eye can still sparkle and even a stroke and cancer distorted face is still beautiful and warm and full of love.
The dance we also take, as carers and survivors and as those who stand and watch as lovers, husbands and wives and as children is a dance that can only be endured by the individual in their own unique way. There truly are no words to describe the moment you know that you will never see that person again, yet...
... yet, with time the mind opens up - a fragrant rose of deep scents and wondorous textures; the life lived, not the life lost. I recall so much and in letting go of holding on so tight, for fear of forgetting, I remember so much more.
Thank you all once again PH, for those who shared my journey are still the greatest gift of all of this. Without you all; without the emails, the late night conversations, the kindness, the love and support you all showed me, I would not the person I am today. I have my dark moments and sometimes dark days and there are some coming soon that will be harder than today, but how can I be sad when those around me have held me up when I felt like falling. my deepest thanks and I know my lass, if she was stood here, would say the same. Truly, thank you.
Russell.
I remember our welcome as if it was yesterday - the two of us together and then me, some six weeks later walking out the door alone. That was the longest and most lonely walk I have ever taken and one that still feels as if it happened only yesterday.
This year some of my dearest friends have had their 'near miss' with the cancer monster and for one in particular who will be reading this and is about to take the walk to the grave side soon enough to say their own deeply personal goodbye, I say this;
When the pain of passing diminishes a little and the ache of loneliness turns from being an agonising hole into something a little less abyss-like, the mind does indeed move to places kinder and less tourmented. My lass suffered terribly - her dance with the cancer monster was brutal and utterly relentless, yet...
... yet, I recall my lass' smiles and expression throughout the worst of it. Even a blind eye can still sparkle and even a stroke and cancer distorted face is still beautiful and warm and full of love.
The dance we also take, as carers and survivors and as those who stand and watch as lovers, husbands and wives and as children is a dance that can only be endured by the individual in their own unique way. There truly are no words to describe the moment you know that you will never see that person again, yet...
... yet, with time the mind opens up - a fragrant rose of deep scents and wondorous textures; the life lived, not the life lost. I recall so much and in letting go of holding on so tight, for fear of forgetting, I remember so much more.
Thank you all once again PH, for those who shared my journey are still the greatest gift of all of this. Without you all; without the emails, the late night conversations, the kindness, the love and support you all showed me, I would not the person I am today. I have my dark moments and sometimes dark days and there are some coming soon that will be harder than today, but how can I be sad when those around me have held me up when I felt like falling. my deepest thanks and I know my lass, if she was stood here, would say the same. Truly, thank you.
Russell.
Beautiful and moving Russell, as ever. Thank you also, and all the rest, you know who you are.
It's amazing to think that when I came down to the hospice to meet you and Lilly with everyone else, I already had the little b
d growing in me. But just as you provide serenity, insight and comfort by your words, to those treading the same path, I would like to impart that sometimes the path you tread can also deviate back to 'normality' for a period, long or short. Though those involved may still be scarred by the journey somewhat.
Apologies for thread derail but I just wanted you and others to know your support (collectively) helps Many!
It's amazing to think that when I came down to the hospice to meet you and Lilly with everyone else, I already had the little b
d growing in me. But just as you provide serenity, insight and comfort by your words, to those treading the same path, I would like to impart that sometimes the path you tread can also deviate back to 'normality' for a period, long or short. Though those involved may still be scarred by the journey somewhat.Apologies for thread derail but I just wanted you and others to know your support (collectively) helps Many!
DMN, I am always ALWAYS in awe of your fantastic ability to put things into words that most, nearly all of us just can't do. I will happily admit that rarely do your posts not bring a tear to my eye. Your latest post I have forwarded onto a friend who lost her partner very recently. I hope that it gives you some warmth over the Christmas period knowing you will have helped her 'move on', even if it's merely by the tiniest of margins.
Thank you.
Thank you.
DaveL485 said:
Boshly said:
I already had the little bd growing in me.
But...you're OK now, right?d growing in me.d out, was a 5cm tumour at that stage! Last bloods clear thanks. Various tests every 6 months etc. But..... though you never stop thinking .... the prognosis is so much better than it could have been, and PH helps
Edited by Boshly on Sunday 15th December 18:31
Glad to read it's all sorted. When you and one of out lovely PH crew (the skinny one in the F430 with the hohofarkingEssexho santa outfit;) ) wrote earlier this year about his dance it, sent me into a bit of a mental tailspin. It's hard with you guys, you all mean so much to me and the thought that this little fecker was going to have his wicked way with you 'lot' was a step beyond bearable.
Very relieved indeed was I.
As for the Ultima, well it's progressing nicely and will have a suitable homage to my lass when complete. Not too long now, it's been an adventure in its own right and without the committed efforts of another bloody decent PHer would not have been completed.
You're a good bunch you are
Very relieved indeed was I.
As for the Ultima, well it's progressing nicely and will have a suitable homage to my lass when complete. Not too long now, it's been an adventure in its own right and without the committed efforts of another bloody decent PHer would not have been completed.
You're a good bunch you are
drivin_me_nuts said:
As for the Ultima, well it's progressing nicely and will have a suitable homage to my lass when complete. Not too long now, it's been an adventure in its own right and without the committed efforts of another bloody decent PHer would not have been completed.
That's a great tribute, inspirational!Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff