Difficulty getting pregnant....
Discussion
MrGRT said:
A few months have passed since I last commented on this thread, no good news to report.
We've done 2 Fresh cycles and 4 frozen, all in the Oxford F.U. All have resulted in lots of embryos reaching blastocyst stage.
In the last one we even pay for the Pre-implantation genetic screening test.
All test results have been fine according to the Drs.
Only the very first of the cycle was clinically successful but only for 4 weeks then a miscarriage.
Understandably my OH is quite down/depressed, she will be 33 this year and we've been trying for 3 year now. We got two suggestions on our last appointment:
1.- Surrogacy.
2.- Try another cycle, this time putting two embryos. But before that, do another test on my O.H. which If I understood correctly, given an idea of how much her body is rejecting the pregnancy.
Not really sure what to do, of course we don't want a surrogacy if can be avoided but 6 unsuccessful attempts have taken its told on us already.
I do wonder what is the most attempts people have tried and whether they went with two embryos on each attempt.
In our case, we followed recommendations of one embryo, only on the last attempt we tried two.
Tell them to increase the progesterone. This exact scenario happened to a close friend of my wife's and the first time they tried with increased progesterone they were successful. She is now pregnant with their second child. Often infertility doctors think the challenge is getting pregnant when it is maintaining pregnancy.We've done 2 Fresh cycles and 4 frozen, all in the Oxford F.U. All have resulted in lots of embryos reaching blastocyst stage.
In the last one we even pay for the Pre-implantation genetic screening test.
All test results have been fine according to the Drs.
Only the very first of the cycle was clinically successful but only for 4 weeks then a miscarriage.
Understandably my OH is quite down/depressed, she will be 33 this year and we've been trying for 3 year now. We got two suggestions on our last appointment:
1.- Surrogacy.
2.- Try another cycle, this time putting two embryos. But before that, do another test on my O.H. which If I understood correctly, given an idea of how much her body is rejecting the pregnancy.
Not really sure what to do, of course we don't want a surrogacy if can be avoided but 6 unsuccessful attempts have taken its told on us already.
I do wonder what is the most attempts people have tried and whether they went with two embryos on each attempt.
In our case, we followed recommendations of one embryo, only on the last attempt we tried two.
Good luck
MrGRT - I'm sorry to hear things are not working out for you. I have recently read this book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1566569230/ref=aw_...
It is a bit emotional in places and it would be a difficult read for you in your current situation. But it raises a few home truths about fertility treatment that are hard to swallow.
I can only draw on what others have told me who have been faced with the question of how many cycles is enough, and they said that there is no fixed number, it is when you are ready to stop.
Sadly much of the out of the ordinary IVF work is not evidence based and the clinics will happily let self payers keep trying and imo use these clients as ginuea pigs.
Keep talking to one another and try to stay strong. Everyone here has their fingers crossed for you.
It is a bit emotional in places and it would be a difficult read for you in your current situation. But it raises a few home truths about fertility treatment that are hard to swallow.
I can only draw on what others have told me who have been faced with the question of how many cycles is enough, and they said that there is no fixed number, it is when you are ready to stop.
Sadly much of the out of the ordinary IVF work is not evidence based and the clinics will happily let self payers keep trying and imo use these clients as ginuea pigs.
Keep talking to one another and try to stay strong. Everyone here has their fingers crossed for you.
Only read half the thread, but seems where some of the folk have been in the past we might be in the future.
Been trying for 18 months, since we were both 36, and nothing yet. One period was late by 10 days which could have been a fertilisation which didn't take properly, and some odd symptoms of dizziness and hot flushes one month, but otherwise cycles coming and going fairly regularly. The other day I was tracking the cycles forward to May to see whether the next but one fertile time would coincide with a parental visit, and realised that that's not the reason why we're doing this - calendar mapping is a symptom, not the goal! So starting to think it may not happen, rather than it'll happen eventually.
Seen a consultant for HSG (all clear, even saw one of the ovaries growing its egg), and had the 21 day tests which while high 20s never quite made it over the magic 30 mark. So we can try 50g Clomid for three months, I guess the thinking behind that is that it will boost the hormones to make sure that an egg reaches maturity, as at the moment there might not be enough there to get it over the line.
We work in two different cities and travel up and down a lot, which doesn't help, as sex in the week tends to be the exception rather than the rule. Using ovulation sticks which feels like it helps, but also feels like we're operating to a timetable, which destroys the magic sometimes. And from sly-look thru doing the deed to well-best-do-the-washing-up is usually 45mins to an hour, so it's not like we can just slot it inbetween Poldark and QI.
Not mentioned anything like IVF yet, not sure if we would go down that route (either because of work logistics or the intrusiveness and side effects of the whole thing) but it's getting tough. Wife's job is stressful so don't know how much of an effect that is having (surely people all round the world live in stressful if not terrible conditions and they still manage to have children?) and it would be great to change jobs to see if that improved things but that's not really an option at the moment.
We could get a positive test next week, but then that's what we said a year ago (or 15 cycles ago).
Anyway, will read the rest of the thread and then be following,
Ta
Been trying for 18 months, since we were both 36, and nothing yet. One period was late by 10 days which could have been a fertilisation which didn't take properly, and some odd symptoms of dizziness and hot flushes one month, but otherwise cycles coming and going fairly regularly. The other day I was tracking the cycles forward to May to see whether the next but one fertile time would coincide with a parental visit, and realised that that's not the reason why we're doing this - calendar mapping is a symptom, not the goal! So starting to think it may not happen, rather than it'll happen eventually.
Seen a consultant for HSG (all clear, even saw one of the ovaries growing its egg), and had the 21 day tests which while high 20s never quite made it over the magic 30 mark. So we can try 50g Clomid for three months, I guess the thinking behind that is that it will boost the hormones to make sure that an egg reaches maturity, as at the moment there might not be enough there to get it over the line.
We work in two different cities and travel up and down a lot, which doesn't help, as sex in the week tends to be the exception rather than the rule. Using ovulation sticks which feels like it helps, but also feels like we're operating to a timetable, which destroys the magic sometimes. And from sly-look thru doing the deed to well-best-do-the-washing-up is usually 45mins to an hour, so it's not like we can just slot it inbetween Poldark and QI.
Not mentioned anything like IVF yet, not sure if we would go down that route (either because of work logistics or the intrusiveness and side effects of the whole thing) but it's getting tough. Wife's job is stressful so don't know how much of an effect that is having (surely people all round the world live in stressful if not terrible conditions and they still manage to have children?) and it would be great to change jobs to see if that improved things but that's not really an option at the moment.
We could get a positive test next week, but then that's what we said a year ago (or 15 cycles ago).
Anyway, will read the rest of the thread and then be following,
Ta
Bump, in case anyone else is in similar situation.
Tried Clomid and no effects, so went for IVF. Expensive but worth at least one punt, maybe two if we don't do up the bedrooms.
Wife's injections seemed to pass without incident, bit of water retention but none of the menopausal symptoms that we were warned about. First scan and bloodtest last Friday which was exactly what they needed, so egg collection and beaker-spaff on Tuesday. They'll mingle them up and develop them for up to five days, including constant monitoring with some new tech that enables them to choose the best embryos, and then embryo placement probably next weekend.
After that it's up to them (or hopefully just one of them) to implant themselves, and I have a feeling that this is where we've had natural problems in the past. There's little they can do to assist implantation, and no tests they can do to see if/why things are failing at that stage. So ho hum.
We both know the odds are low (<25% for us) so are ready for it not to work, or at least that's what our rational selves are telling us, it might be different when/if we're actually told it hasn't worked. But it might work.
[incidentally, I google a lot of stuff on this for research, and came across a search result advertising an 'IVF Cork', describing it as 'specifically created to increase your chances of a successful implantation after your IVF transfer'. Wondering what such a 'cork' might look like and how it might be applied, I clicked on the link. Turns out it was the website for an IVF clinic in Cork, Ireland...]
Tried Clomid and no effects, so went for IVF. Expensive but worth at least one punt, maybe two if we don't do up the bedrooms.
Wife's injections seemed to pass without incident, bit of water retention but none of the menopausal symptoms that we were warned about. First scan and bloodtest last Friday which was exactly what they needed, so egg collection and beaker-spaff on Tuesday. They'll mingle them up and develop them for up to five days, including constant monitoring with some new tech that enables them to choose the best embryos, and then embryo placement probably next weekend.
After that it's up to them (or hopefully just one of them) to implant themselves, and I have a feeling that this is where we've had natural problems in the past. There's little they can do to assist implantation, and no tests they can do to see if/why things are failing at that stage. So ho hum.
We both know the odds are low (<25% for us) so are ready for it not to work, or at least that's what our rational selves are telling us, it might be different when/if we're actually told it hasn't worked. But it might work.
[incidentally, I google a lot of stuff on this for research, and came across a search result advertising an 'IVF Cork', describing it as 'specifically created to increase your chances of a successful implantation after your IVF transfer'. Wondering what such a 'cork' might look like and how it might be applied, I clicked on the link. Turns out it was the website for an IVF clinic in Cork, Ireland...]
Long-term reader of these boards, wish I'd found this thread a year ago! Finally taking the plunge and posting. Hopefully some posters are still around and are willing to share...
We've been through two cycles of IVF this year without success. We recently followed up with the consultant and he reckons only a c.5% chance if we go for another IVF cycle, which didn't come as a surprise given how things have gone. He's suggested going down the egg donor route and recommended going to Spain to do it, where they've a 50-60% success rate (and where donors cannot be traced). The OH has totally understandable reservations; how she would deal with not being the biological mother and a nervousness about how the child would cope with knowing nothing about his/hers biological mother.
Has anyone been through the process, in Spain or the UK? Any experiences would be very welcome.
We've been through two cycles of IVF this year without success. We recently followed up with the consultant and he reckons only a c.5% chance if we go for another IVF cycle, which didn't come as a surprise given how things have gone. He's suggested going down the egg donor route and recommended going to Spain to do it, where they've a 50-60% success rate (and where donors cannot be traced). The OH has totally understandable reservations; how she would deal with not being the biological mother and a nervousness about how the child would cope with knowing nothing about his/hers biological mother.
Has anyone been through the process, in Spain or the UK? Any experiences would be very welcome.
Stick with it. We had two rounds of IVF, got pregnant first time but lost baby after a few months, second time he stuck and is now nearly 8. Its not fun sticking needles in your missus' bottom but it works. We assumed we couldn't get pregnant after ages trying and 2 rounds of IVF so didn't take precautions after number 1 was born.....and then by complete miracle Mrs got pregnant with number 2 who is nearly 6 and brightens up each day !
grantSQ said:
Has anyone been through the process, in Spain or the UK? Any experiences would be very welcome.
We have done it in Spain after many failed cycles of IVF in the UK and god knows how much money. Had pretty much given up when SWMBO found out about this. We went to Institute Marquez who were great, very easy to work with, no language issues and happy to sort things via e-mail. We have a two year old and expecting a second after going back earlier this year.Cost was approx £10k. Having an understanding GP will help a lot as you need a lot of tests and drugs, some of which can be done on the NHS. You can have it all managed by a partner organisation in the UK, Oxford Fertility Clinic can do it around here, but we did it ourselves helpful GP and spanish org meant we didn't feel it was needed.
Feel free to PM me if you've any questions.
We got lucky on a second IVF attempt, currently 10 weeks on and have seen a heartbeat on scan so 98% likely it'll go full term.
In case it helps anyone:
The first round we got 7 eggs (we're both nearly 40, younger women get more eggs), all of which fertilised, one of which was very good quality (they rate them on structure and also on development stages if you pay for the incubator scanning), two of good quality, and some others. Put two back in, none of the rest were freezable. 14 days later had a mildly positive but less than ideal result which meant something was up - could have been ectopic but luckily was just not a strong implant so no complications. But they were happy that something had happened.
Second time got 5 eggs, all fertilised again (obviously no problem with that bit). One that they raved about as it was so good, another good one and another less good one that they managed to freeze. The two best embryos put back, and one (presumably the good one) implanted and still developing.
Cost about £5k a time, we agreed on two paid attempts and one NHS, had to (happily) cancel the NHS waiting list one. Based on our ages it was between 1 in 5 and 1 in 6 likelihood, so consider ourselves lucky. But it's all best on egg and embryo quality - a woman over 35 generally has less chance of becoming pregnant by any means, and we think the lack of quality eggs was what was doing for us in the past - 3 years (!) of attempts every 25 days or so, and all the stars didn't align to get a bobby dazzler of an embryo into the right place at the right time.
Incidentally, having two embryos put back at once raises the likelihood of twins from about 1% to 25%, and only increases the likelihood of getting anything at all compared with single embryo transfer by 10% or so, so it's a definite risk, with twins having higher risk of complications.
OH had no side effects from the IVF drugs, can imagine it being pretty horrendous if there is weight gain, moodiness and general menopausal symptoms. The syringe injections are never as bad as you think they'll be (so I've been told).
It's recommended going into it that you might need two or three attempts to get anywhere, so bear that in mind if money is an issue. And no success after three attempts lowers the likelihood of further attempts being successful, so I've read.
We were quite emotionally invested in the first one, so the failure was difficult to get through, whereas the second time I had the attitude that it wasn't going to work. It took me a few weeks to change my mindset to one that accepted that it had worked, but I think that's the better way around.
And if the nurse says 'just flick the switch and I'll know when to come back, she means the light switch and not the emergency call button.
In case it helps anyone:
The first round we got 7 eggs (we're both nearly 40, younger women get more eggs), all of which fertilised, one of which was very good quality (they rate them on structure and also on development stages if you pay for the incubator scanning), two of good quality, and some others. Put two back in, none of the rest were freezable. 14 days later had a mildly positive but less than ideal result which meant something was up - could have been ectopic but luckily was just not a strong implant so no complications. But they were happy that something had happened.
Second time got 5 eggs, all fertilised again (obviously no problem with that bit). One that they raved about as it was so good, another good one and another less good one that they managed to freeze. The two best embryos put back, and one (presumably the good one) implanted and still developing.
Cost about £5k a time, we agreed on two paid attempts and one NHS, had to (happily) cancel the NHS waiting list one. Based on our ages it was between 1 in 5 and 1 in 6 likelihood, so consider ourselves lucky. But it's all best on egg and embryo quality - a woman over 35 generally has less chance of becoming pregnant by any means, and we think the lack of quality eggs was what was doing for us in the past - 3 years (!) of attempts every 25 days or so, and all the stars didn't align to get a bobby dazzler of an embryo into the right place at the right time.
Incidentally, having two embryos put back at once raises the likelihood of twins from about 1% to 25%, and only increases the likelihood of getting anything at all compared with single embryo transfer by 10% or so, so it's a definite risk, with twins having higher risk of complications.
OH had no side effects from the IVF drugs, can imagine it being pretty horrendous if there is weight gain, moodiness and general menopausal symptoms. The syringe injections are never as bad as you think they'll be (so I've been told).
It's recommended going into it that you might need two or three attempts to get anywhere, so bear that in mind if money is an issue. And no success after three attempts lowers the likelihood of further attempts being successful, so I've read.
We were quite emotionally invested in the first one, so the failure was difficult to get through, whereas the second time I had the attitude that it wasn't going to work. It took me a few weeks to change my mindset to one that accepted that it had worked, but I think that's the better way around.
And if the nurse says 'just flick the switch and I'll know when to come back, she means the light switch and not the emergency call button.
A year to the day since this thread was last updated, so I thought I’d write a post.
Four and a half years after first trying, four rounds of ever more expensive ICSI procedures culminating in using a donor egg, and early yesterday we had a little boy delivered by emergency c section.
An added bonus is that my panic attacks that occurred every time a kid came near me have completely vanished, and this little chap has spent an awful lot of the last 36 hours sitting or lying on me, which he seems to like.
Just a bit of encouragement for everyone who’s still plugging away at it.
Four and a half years after first trying, four rounds of ever more expensive ICSI procedures culminating in using a donor egg, and early yesterday we had a little boy delivered by emergency c section.
An added bonus is that my panic attacks that occurred every time a kid came near me have completely vanished, and this little chap has spent an awful lot of the last 36 hours sitting or lying on me, which he seems to like.
Just a bit of encouragement for everyone who’s still plugging away at it.
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