football sayings you dont like

[thetapeworm]

Hugo a Gogo said:

that's what we said when we made this sketch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN1WN0YMWZU

We are amused by that

[Trophybloo]

The idiots who clearly don't understand the first thing about Newtonian physics - "The ball picked up pace off the wet pitch" Wet surface collision will decellerate the bloody ball, albeit less than a dry one owing to reduced friction. The only thing that makes a ball pick up pace is the initial application of a size 9 (or Andy Carroll's solid teak cranium)

[obob]

Don't miss near post always miss far post. Errrrr...... How about don't miss.

[5pen]

"There was contact" as some sort of justification for a foul (usually a penalty) being awarded when some knobhead falls over like their legs have been taken away by a scything tackle when in fact there was an inconsequential coming-together (usually no involving the legs) in the normal course of play.

[wormburner]

obob said:

Don't miss near post always miss far post. Errrrr...... How about don't miss.

Missing the near post is a simple waste. Missing the far post gives a chance of the keeper spilling it to a striker, or a shot becoming a cross. Keeper is also always blamed for letting a goal in at the near post, so they are predisposed to guarding that post over the far post.

Far post is the better bet.

[PandaEyes]

When a player misses and the line, "he hit it too well" is reeled out. NO, if it was hit well it would be a goal!!

Also anything from Garth Crooks, Mark Bright and Jim Beglin. Would happily mute the tv to avoid listening to them.

[ShawCrossShark]

Have to admit that it really winds me up when they claim that "everybody watching at home" will be willing a team on when they play in Europe

I'm not. If it's Chelsea on Man United I am supporting their opposition. No matter what!

So it's not everybody then is it. I know I am not the only one either.

[JuniorD]

"<name> was 'unplayable' out there today"

WTF? Unplayable? As in not capable of or suitable for being played or played on?

I don't believe it is possible to make such a statement without sounding like a complete fking moron.

[JuniorD]

And of course 'stonewall penalty'

Do these fking imbeciles ever think about the meaning of what they are saying? It is only a 'stonewall' anything if it involves an obstruction. Stonewall does not mean 'definite' or 'obvious'. Do you hear me Andy Townsend you tt??

[Steameh]

"He is human!"

Usually refering to when Messi makes a mistake or someone else of suitable stature when they have a great game.

Anything Mark Bright says, I haven't heard him co-commentate a game yet where he adds anything of value.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Ray Houghtons favourite line: "The referee hasn't given the penaly, nor has he booked the attacker for diving. He must do one or the other!"

No, read the laws of the game Ray, there are loads of circumstances where he can chose do neither. Loads of situations where doing neither is the right thing to do.

[CIE560]

Steameh said:

"He is human!"

Usually refering to when Messi makes a mistake or someone else of suitable stature when they have a great game.

Anything Mark Bright says, I haven't heard him co-commentate a game yet where he adds anything of value.

This so much.

Or basically any commentator think they're adding something new by asking his co-commentator if Messi is the best player ever. Or crap like "he's a genius"... yes, everybody knows how great he is. You're adding nothing worthwhile.

[Audi 525i]

He moves well for a big man.

All the big men I know move well.

[CIE560]

[vonuber]

Golden generation.

[HeatonNorris]

thetapeworm said:

Fans that say "we" when referring to the team they support, you may give them money, wear their clothes, have deep feelings for the gentlemen on the team and shout at them etc but you aren't on the team, you just like looking at them and talking about what they do endlessly.

We = my team.

They = opposition.

Makes discussions easy to understand.

[Wacky Racer]

Some Kevin Keegan gems.....


'England can end the millennium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half'

[DukeDickson]

"Too good to go down"

Err, no. They're relegation fodder for a reason.

[NoVetec]

Wacky Racer said:

Some Kevin Keegan gems.....


'England can end the millennium as it started - as the greatest football nation in the world.'

'You're not just getting international football, you're getting world football'

'The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful.'

'I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection.'

'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'

'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again'

'England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none'

'Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It's as big as him, which isn't very big, but it's bigger'

'Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa'

'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'

'The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game'

'There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow.'

'Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America.'

'He'll also be very dangerous from set-pieces. That means he'll be a threat from free-kicks and corners in the final third of the field.'

'They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.'

'We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half'

Simon Brotherton, a few minutes ago: "He won the double with Borussia Dortmund this season in Italy."

[Allyc85]

Wenger - we played with great spirit...