Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.

Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.

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Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Sunday 5th April 2015
quotequote all
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

This is my blog about my time spent as a professional footballer. I would appreciate feedback and opinions. If chose to write the blog to raise awareness of depression amongst professional footballers. I'm not for one second saying it isn't a a great and career but it caused me problems.

Twitter is @footballruined and retweets are appreciated.

Thanks a lot.


TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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I know nothing about depression but at least you can say " I used to be a professional footballer." I'd love to be able to say that. Just to have played 2 minutes as a sub in league 2 on a Tuesday night. Under proper floodlights, with a crowd of paying fans. To have once been a professional footballer. Fantastic achievement.

Maybe if I'd been good enough to have played in league 2, I'd be full of regrets about not making the step up to premier league and international level, which is the dream. But for me, like millions of others, I never even got near pro level.

And quite rightly too, because I was complete crap.

Anyway, will be following with interest.

Mojooo

12,668 posts

179 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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sounds good but it would be good to have some context like what time period you are talking about when you are 17 - to my mind a youth at 17 in 1990 is probably a different ball game to one in 2005.


i can understand why you dont want to name clubs etc

Adam B

27,142 posts

253 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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Firstly good for you in being honest and writing this

If you want to raise awareness, then dropping the anonymity would help add readers. You writing is very even-handed and you don't criticize other people or clubs.

Do you think coming out would impact your new career, or do you not to want to reveal your condition to family and friends?

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Monday 6th April 2015
quotequote all
First, thanks for taking the time to read it.

I was hoping anonymity would help it be a better read and help me to be honest about situations I have been in. Not many people are aware of my depression and certainly not my ex team mates or current work colleagues.

Also I didn't want it to come across as a 'woe is me' sort of thing. It's been done as a sort of therapy to get it all off my chest. I'm not looking for personal attention hence the anonymity, just hoping to raise awareness that behind the scenes it's not always rosy despite the money and opportunities the career gives you. It's just my experience in my own words.

I played late 90's to mid 2000's if that helps.

Adam B

27,142 posts

253 months

Monday 6th April 2015
quotequote all
Fair enough it was a general question not a criticism, and certainly your call

If it has been done as "therapy" than it makes sense, if you are trying to raise awareness I wonder if being more specific might help - I could be wrong but for me at least it would make it more interesting and would give better context. It may also get picked up and commented on by media channels

London424

12,826 posts

174 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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I haven't read it yet but Stan Collymore might be a good person to contact to raise awareness of the blog etc.

Whatever you think of him he has the track record of depression in the sport and recently won an award (I think with one of his talk sport colleagues) about a show they did on depression.

popeyewhite

19,622 posts

119 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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Retirement from professional sport is a major theme of sport psychology at the moment. Did the athlete set post-football career goals? Did the athlete find friends/gel with other team members? Trouble with injury, sexuality, stress, team cohesion, role ambiguity and a number of other issues are all common reasons why people have sought a psychologist's help. What I'm trying to say is you're not alone, and there are people you can talk to who are quite good at dealing with these sort of things. smile

Edited by popeyewhite on Monday 20th April 10:27

bearman68

4,642 posts

131 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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Nicely written. Well done

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Monday 6th April 2015
quotequote all
London424 said:
I haven't read it yet but Stan Collymore might be a good person to contact to raise awareness of the blog etc.

Whatever you think of him he has the track record of depression in the sport and recently won an award (I think with one of his talk sport colleagues) about a show they did on depression.
It's difficult to get people to RT with that kind of profile. The word press site is fantastic for seeing the stats on views. When a well known ex footballer retweeted it I could see the views shoot up. I don't want to come across as begging but obviously I want it to be read as well so I'm going softly with it.

Snubs

1,166 posts

138 months

Monday 6th April 2015
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That's a well written blog Ruskie. I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering from depression, I know from first hand experience how debilitating it can be. What you wrote in the 'Today is one of those days' post is spot on. The thought of going back to that state of mind scares the bejeezus out of me.

Apologies if I missed it in your blog, but have you sought any counselling or other treatment at all to help you work through things?

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Tuesday 7th April 2015
quotequote all
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

My latest blog explores the impact my illness has on those around me.

Thanks for reading it means a lot.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Tuesday 7th April 2015
quotequote all
Snubs said:
That's a well written blog Ruskie. I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering from depression, I know from first hand experience how debilitating it can be. What you wrote in the 'Today is one of those days' post is spot on. The thought of going back to that state of mind scares the bejeezus out of me.

Apologies if I missed it in your blog, but have you sought any counselling or other treatment at all to help you work through things?
I haven't gone into that side of it yet but I have a blog planned on the subject soon.

Legend83

9,947 posts

221 months

Tuesday 7th April 2015
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A great read and a telling insight into a world definitely misunderstood at an individual level. For every player that makes it, there are countless fodder that don't - mostly forgotten.

Fair play to you for becoming a paramedic too!

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Wednesday 8th April 2015
quotequote all
Legend83 said:
A great read and a telling insight into a world definitely misunderstood at an individual level. For every player that makes it, there are countless fodder that don't - mostly forgotten.

Fair play to you for becoming a paramedic too!
Thanks for reading, appreciate it.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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I am currently in a pretty horrific down period. Here are my thoughts poured out in the blog.

My new blog post detailing how I am currently feeling. Feedback appreciated.


https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

TurboTerrific9

458 posts

160 months

Sunday 19th April 2015
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I have just finished reading your blog - it makes for a fascinating read.

I wish you well at this difficult time in dealing what clearly is a debilitating ilness.

I would only comment that despite the fact that you feel your footballing career unfulfilled, you have achieved so much to be proud of - many of the most talented youngsters don't make it anywhere near as far as you have in the game for one reason or another. I can imagine that you have dealt with many a pressure situation on the pitch (or abuse from the crowd) and you must now try and channel that inner-strength positively.

Your blog highlights some of the incredible pressure that modern sportsmen and women now have to face - sadly it also highlights that despite the vast sums of money involved, how equally poor the support structure currently is to help young athletes recognise the symptoms and how to deal with them.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Monday 20th April 2015
quotequote all
TurboTerrific9 said:
I have just finished reading your blog - it makes for a fascinating read.

I wish you well at this difficult time in dealing what clearly is a debilitating ilness.

I would only comment that despite the fact that you feel your footballing career unfulfilled, you have achieved so much to be proud of - many of the most talented youngsters don't make it anywhere near as far as you have in the game for one reason or another. I can imagine that you have dealt with many a pressure situation on the pitch (or abuse from the crowd) and you must now try and channel that inner-strength positively.

Your blog highlights some of the incredible pressure that modern sportsmen and women now have to face - sadly it also highlights that despite the vast sums of money involved, how equally poor the support structure currently is to help young athletes recognise the symptoms and how to deal with them.
Thank you for taking the time to read and post your thoughts. The feedback is important to me. I am proud of what I achieved as a player but it could of been so much more and I struggle to get over that.

Sowler

223 posts

148 months

Monday 20th April 2015
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Very interesting reading. I'm sure you must have read some things by The Secret Footballer. Maybe get in touch with him as his tale is very similar maybe he could offer some words of advice from a someone who is/has been in a similar situation. He also feels strongly about getting the message out there about depression in football I believe.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,982 posts

199 months

Thursday 7th May 2015
quotequote all
My latest blog post on gambling in football and how it affected and still affects my depression.


https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...