Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.

Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.

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Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

Thursday 6th October 2016
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Thinking about what was said. I did try and put myself out there to help others. Here is a message I sent to a charity that helps people in the emergency services with mental health issues. Never been followed up.

mikeyr

3,118 posts

193 months

Friday 7th October 2016
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Ruskie said:
I suspect no one would be interested as I'm not high profile enough.
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)

One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?



KarlMac

4,480 posts

141 months

Friday 7th October 2016
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mikeyr said:
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)

One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I think this is a fair comment, it's clear from your blog that you see your football career as a failure or wasted opportunity, there is a very strong case to be made that as a paramedic you are contributing to society in a much more positive and direct way. It's certainly a job I don't think I'd be able to do.

I hope you come through it, maybe you need to think about the value of your past and present contributions rather than the opportunities you missed.

DukeDickson

4,721 posts

213 months

Saturday 8th October 2016
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mikeyr said:
Ruskie said:
I suspect no one would be interested as I'm not high profile enough.
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)

One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
In a sense, profile is a big seller, but at the same time, it may or may not have any relevance. The affinity, understanding and overall message are far more important.


The life and death thing is a misnomer. If you're depressed or something akin to and the things that get you in a similar place aren't directly linked to your worm food/green fuel future, anything around that environment is very much black and white, but very much not what drives the less than good stuff.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

Monday 10th October 2016
quotequote all
KarlMac said:
mikeyr said:
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)

One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I think this is a fair comment, it's clear from your blog that you see your football career as a failure or wasted opportunity, there is a very strong case to be made that as a paramedic you are contributing to society in a much more positive and direct way. It's certainly a job I don't think I'd be able to do.

I hope you come through it, maybe you need to think about the value of your past and present contributions rather than the opportunities you missed.
Thank you for the responses. Someone commented on the blog requesting that I did a blog when I was in a positive frame of mind. I will definitely do that. I love my job but it brings about its own issues, disrupted sleep patterns, diet, exercise and so on. The main issue is post traumatic stress disorder. I suffer with it but only mild and occasional. It's normally in the aftermath of a serious or upsetting job and only for a short period. To be honest it's a walk in park compared to normal life with depression!!

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

mikeyr

3,118 posts

193 months

Monday 10th October 2016
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Ruskie said:
Thank you for the responses. Someone commented on the blog requesting that I did a blog when I was in a positive frame of mind.
Totally agree, it'll show a more rounded human face to your blog (no offence, I like your blog!) and show that depression isn't an illness which is constantly there clouding every moment for sufferers.

6000 views is good work Ruskie!

hornetrider

63,161 posts

205 months

Monday 10th October 2016
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Hi Ruskie. Still reading if not commenting all the time. Thought about you listening to Collymore on the wireless today talking about world mental health day and the way footballers are affected by mental health issues. There's an awareness game on at Everton I think.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

Monday 10th October 2016
quotequote all
mikeyr said:
Ruskie said:
Thank you for the responses. Someone commented on the blog requesting that I did a blog when I was in a positive frame of mind.
Totally agree, it'll show a more rounded human face to your blog (no offence, I like your blog!) and show that depression isn't an illness which is constantly there clouding every moment for sufferers.

6000 views is good work Ruskie!
I just checked its actually nearly 7000 visitors and 18,000 views!

XM5ER

5,091 posts

248 months

Monday 10th October 2016
quotequote all
Ruskie said:


Thinking about what was said. I did try and put myself out there to help others. Here is a message I sent to a charity that helps people in the emergency services with mental health issues. Never been followed up.
Don't take the response (lack of) personally. The person you contacted may not be really connected to the charity any more than just as a paid employee and so doesn't really "get it". Also if she didn't click through to the link (through lack of time etc) then she has no idea of your back story or why you might be interesting to their audience. Why not message her back with the opening line that you were a professional footballer who went into the emergency services and link to the Collymore thing at the same time. That way she can see an obvious hook for her story. IF she still doesn't get it then don't worry about it, she's just a bit thick and/or single minded.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

The jiffle king

6,910 posts

258 months

Tuesday 8th November 2016
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I always read your blogs and I hope that by writing them, it gives you strength to carry on and fight. I wish you all the best as you continue this struggle

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

Thursday 10th November 2016
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castex

4,936 posts

273 months

Thursday 10th November 2016
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Keep fighting, OP.

Have you considered borrowing someone's dog? It could just be that you are suffering from being stuck inside after years of fieldwork.
You might need open space. Dogs can make you go find some.

It's just a thought. If I believed in anything but love I would be praying for you.
In a way, I am.

The jiffle king

6,910 posts

258 months

Friday 11th November 2016
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I don't know what to write but I wanted you to know that I read your words and they moved me. I can't offer advice as I don't know what to say. I hope you hang in there and find the purpose and friendships to support you

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

Friday 11th November 2016
quotequote all
The fact people are reading gives me a lift so thank you.

I had a dog and I absolutely agree with what you say I used to love taking him out. I lost him when I split up with my ex. The main reason was I had to move back with parents and my mum has an allergy. I'm back on my own but I live on the first floor so not suitable for a dog.

trackdemon

12,175 posts

261 months

Friday 11th November 2016
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Your second last sentence is the most important one there Ruskie. Sounds like you know the pattern. You know this period will pass, but I understand it's tough to keep grinding through, even though you must. We're all here watching and thinking, thoughts are with you fella.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months

SpookiePookie

16 posts

86 months

Wednesday 1st February 2017
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Mate, I can't express how much of a privilege it is that you've shared your deepest thoughts with us. Some of it really cuts close for me.

I always felt that I could've played to a decent level, but was badly bullied in my team. I was competing for a position with the manager's son and was either benched or played out of position. Inevitably, being played out of position means I was playing badly. I lost all confidence and quit at 14 years old when I felt I could've done much better.

I think a lot of the effects followed me into adulthood. I didn't kick a ball again until I was 18 and filling in for the "dads' team" at a tournament my younger brother was playing in. After that I didn't play again until I was 27 and I've been playing regular since. I was delighted to discover that I could still play at a good amateur level and it has been a massive confidence boost to actually win the league and make some new friends. I've come up against a few lads from the past who always looked down at me and I've taken great pleasure in giving them a good spanking!

Anyway, I'm rambling about myself. I suppose my point is have you considered playing at all? Sorry if I missed that - I've not managed to read everything yet. You might enjoy a game of 5-a-side with the pressure off. I've suffered a bit with anxiety but I've also coped with distractions. I only end up in a mess when I'm bored and can't get motivated to do anything.

Ruskie

Original Poster:

3,986 posts

200 months