Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.
Discussion
I'm having a tough time at the moment. Just getting through life.
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...
My latest blog about the little white lies we tell, when we have depression.
If people wouldn't mind taking 30 seconds, if you like the blog/think it's worthwhile to link/share/RT to get it out there. Obviously it's anonymous so there is no ulterior motive on my part. I just want it out there. Thanks.
My latest blog about the little white lies we tell, when we have depression.
If people wouldn't mind taking 30 seconds, if you like the blog/think it's worthwhile to link/share/RT to get it out there. Obviously it's anonymous so there is no ulterior motive on my part. I just want it out there. Thanks.
Edited by Ruskie on Thursday 1st October 12:36
mikeyr said:
I found out on Friday that what I thought was an annoying niggling knee injury is actually rather worse than expected and I won't play football again.
As someone that has played weekend footie for 20 years this has come as a bit of a shock and it's weird to think I won't be part of that scene now. This has been quite hard to take and wondered Ruskie how you felt when your (obviously much better) football days finished? Knowing you aren't part of a unit anymore is tough to deal with isn't it? Did you feel like part of your identity was disappearing - I'm guessing you were known to friends/family as the guy who was "really good at football"?
Think I felt different because it was my decision to stop. I left my last club after a difficult two years and went and sat with a manager of a conference club. The money was pretty good for part time at around £500 a week. As I looked around the small ground and and bumpy pitch I knew I couldn't do it any more. It was never about the money, I just knew.As someone that has played weekend footie for 20 years this has come as a bit of a shock and it's weird to think I won't be part of that scene now. This has been quite hard to take and wondered Ruskie how you felt when your (obviously much better) football days finished? Knowing you aren't part of a unit anymore is tough to deal with isn't it? Did you feel like part of your identity was disappearing - I'm guessing you were known to friends/family as the guy who was "really good at football"?
The jiffle king said:
Ruskie, I read your blogs and I think the standard of writing is very good although the content does disturb me greatly, but I guess you're writing to share your feelings and thoughts.
Ref the diet and exercise, I hope that you can get motivated to work through this and I know that running for some people can become a good way of giving something in life focus.
Wish you all the best with your struggle and hope that you make progress
Thank you for the kind words. When I do a blog it spills out hard and fast (hence grammar problems at times, it's my intention to rectify at a later date) it's raw, undiluted and 100% honest. I realise it can be a difficult read but that is in essence the point of the blog.Ref the diet and exercise, I hope that you can get motivated to work through this and I know that running for some people can become a good way of giving something in life focus.
Wish you all the best with your struggle and hope that you make progress
Thinking about stopping the blog. Not much feedback and my original idea was to spread awareness. Anyway here's my latest.
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2016...
https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2016...
KarlMac said:
Hi Ruskie, if you can I'd continue with the blog. I found it recently (through this thread) and having recently being diagnosed with severe depression it's helping knowing I'm not on my own.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I sure you can relate to large parts of the ramblings in the blog?GarryDK said:
Very good read mate. Sounds like todays game may have helped you a little more. Shame you had to sit in the dark for so long. I hope there is more light now.
Thank you. I think it would, sports science, sports psychology and actual coaching at lower levels are all vastly improved.mikeyr said:
You not tempted to get involved in any of those elements now Ruskie? Or indeed maybe talk at clubs to younger players?
I have never really given much thought, although you can work out my identity if you really want to the blog is anonymous. The vast majority of people don't know how badly I suffer with depression. I suspect no one would be interested as I'm not high profile enough.
KarlMac said:
mikeyr said:
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)
One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I think this is a fair comment, it's clear from your blog that you see your football career as a failure or wasted opportunity, there is a very strong case to be made that as a paramedic you are contributing to society in a much more positive and direct way. It's certainly a job I don't think I'd be able to do. One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I hope you come through it, maybe you need to think about the value of your past and present contributions rather than the opportunities you missed.
Gassing Station | Football | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff