DIY Mechanics Fail Stories
Discussion
Did I ever tell you about the time I put the O-ring on the wrong part of the oil filter canister on my Mini Cooper-S?
Cue about four litres of brand new fully synthetic all over the road. Very fortunate I noticed it as I was pulling out for a quick round the block & didn't lunch the engine. There was about a litre left when I turned it off.
Cue about four litres of brand new fully synthetic all over the road. Very fortunate I noticed it as I was pulling out for a quick round the block & didn't lunch the engine. There was about a litre left when I turned it off.
JVaughan said:
Currently sat looking at my trusty shed 406 sat on axel stands on my drive.
NSF road spring snapped last week. used a disc cutter to get the spring off the strut
That must have been quite an exciting experience. What was wrong with the traditional method of using spring compressors and removing the top mount?NSF road spring snapped last week. used a disc cutter to get the spring off the strut
Some years ago now I wanted to lower the rear suspension on my first Renault 19 16V. They have an open type beam with 4 torsion bars on the rear meeting in a central metal ‘yoke’ thing in the middle under the car.
Nice sunny Saturday morning and I knew exactly what needed to be done and howto do it so set about it with confidence but as usual there was some corrosion and the bars were stuck in. The usual upturned 30mm socket and bit of 10mm stud method didn’t work so I borrowed a mate’s slide hammer and used that. First side came free fairly quickly using that. Halfway there thought I, have this finished by lunchtime.
The other side was also stuck and the slide hammer was also defeated. No problem I think, rather than trying to pull it out, now I’ve got one side out I can put a long bit of steel bar down the hole and locate it in the central yoke and whack the torsion bar out from the other side.
So I slip the bit of bar down the hole, locate it in the central yoke and start smacking it with a lump hammer. It’s not moving and the bar is bouncing around a bit as I hit it. So I use a bigger hammer. Eventually it feels slightly more dull to hit and I think it’s moving, just a couple more hits and it’ll be out. Sure enough after a couple more hits there’s a ‘donk’ and the trailing arms drop a bit more.
I go round the other side and the bar is still in place. Puzzled, I look under the car and see that my metal beater bar has actually jumped out of the hole in the central yoke and has been pushing against the yoke itself, and pushed it off to one side, along the still in place torsion bars. Now nothing is splined together so the suspension is basically buggered. Chance of getting that yoke back in place is just infinitessimally greater than zero. Nevertheless I hopefully waste a couple of hours trying.
Luckily I had a spares car in the back garden but I had to spend Sunday in the pissing rain swapping the whole rear beam (and brakes, including flaring on a couple of new unions that got buggered being undone etc) so I could drive to work the following day.
On the plus side, the beam from the spares car was already lowered.
Nice sunny Saturday morning and I knew exactly what needed to be done and howto do it so set about it with confidence but as usual there was some corrosion and the bars were stuck in. The usual upturned 30mm socket and bit of 10mm stud method didn’t work so I borrowed a mate’s slide hammer and used that. First side came free fairly quickly using that. Halfway there thought I, have this finished by lunchtime.
The other side was also stuck and the slide hammer was also defeated. No problem I think, rather than trying to pull it out, now I’ve got one side out I can put a long bit of steel bar down the hole and locate it in the central yoke and whack the torsion bar out from the other side.
So I slip the bit of bar down the hole, locate it in the central yoke and start smacking it with a lump hammer. It’s not moving and the bar is bouncing around a bit as I hit it. So I use a bigger hammer. Eventually it feels slightly more dull to hit and I think it’s moving, just a couple more hits and it’ll be out. Sure enough after a couple more hits there’s a ‘donk’ and the trailing arms drop a bit more.
I go round the other side and the bar is still in place. Puzzled, I look under the car and see that my metal beater bar has actually jumped out of the hole in the central yoke and has been pushing against the yoke itself, and pushed it off to one side, along the still in place torsion bars. Now nothing is splined together so the suspension is basically buggered. Chance of getting that yoke back in place is just infinitessimally greater than zero. Nevertheless I hopefully waste a couple of hours trying.
Luckily I had a spares car in the back garden but I had to spend Sunday in the pissing rain swapping the whole rear beam (and brakes, including flaring on a couple of new unions that got buggered being undone etc) so I could drive to work the following day.
On the plus side, the beam from the spares car was already lowered.
Edited by Nealio on Thursday 7th March 16:51
myles1972 said:
darkcat said:
northandy said:
myles1972 said:
Oh, another thing. I found, to my anger, that these oil container things from Halfords......
don't allow the oil in through the hole as quick as the sump releases it! Luckily I had a spillage kit to hand, thanks MoD!
Probably 10 years ago was using one of these while changing the oil on my dads car, jacked up front end, crawled underneath, undid sump plug, reached for the drain can, slid it under andwatched the oil pour onto it, then straight over the sides, i hadnt removed the plug so it was effectively just a tray. Took a lot of clearing up! don't allow the oil in through the hole as quick as the sump releases it! Luckily I had a spillage kit to hand, thanks MoD!
go in to make a cup of tea.
oil EVERYWHERE.
These hold 6 litres.
It turns out the car holds 9. FAIL!
Also a note - they DO allow oil in quickly, however you NEED to remove BOTH plastic plugs, one lets oil in, the other air out.
Edited by darkcat on Thursday 22 November 22:38
Edited by darkcat on Thursday 22 November 22:38
Edited by myles1972 on Saturday 24th November 19:20
It's the fact that you have a stream of hot, low viscosity oil with a good head of pressure falling several inches onto a more or less flat surface. The resulting oil fountain splashes more oil over the edge of the thing than ends up going anywhere near the hole!
Mr2Mike said:
That must have been quite an exciting experience. What was wrong with the traditional method of using spring compressors and removing the top mount?
Lucky enough the car was on an axel stand and I was supporting the hub with a trolley jack.there wasn't any energy left in the spring as it had forced itself down over the strut, trapping the brake hose, so Mr Disc cutter was the only option :shock:
I don't think the strut has ever been off the car as every nut and bold is seized solid (in 188,000 miles, its ever been off (looking through the history)). So this kinda limits what I can do on my own. Dropping the top nut off will allow the strut to drop about 3", so there isn't anything I can do.
Have had the nuts soaking in penetrating fluid but still nothing.
Watch this space ... There may well be an update !
Edited by JVaughan on Thursday 7th March 17:35
Here we go again...
On Tuesday I had a day off and in the afternoon I had to fit a new power steering fluid reservoir to my car. The new one together with a litre of the correct fluid had arrived last weekend. The previous owner had filled the car with ATF instead of the correct fluid but to be fair the owners manual says ATF. They changed the system but didn't change the manual.
The old tank had blown up like a football over the last couple of years and was leaking badly. I drained the fluid and got the old tank off. The hoses were in good condition when I moved them to get the tank off. I had to move the coolant reservoir to thermostat one as well. On with the new tank and fill it up. It all looks good and I checked the levels yesterday and today at work.
Now when I arrived home today there was a funny noise coming from under the bonnet. Oh s
t. Let it cool a bit and up with the bonnet. A fine spray of fluid has coated one side of the engine bay but where the fk has it come from. Oh fk what's the puddle under the car? fk why is the coolant level so low? fk, fk, fk some incompetent halfwit hasn't put the coolant expansion hose back and it's rubbed against the drive belt. fk. fk. fk. It's pissed coolant all around the engine bay. bks.
Possibly the worst part is when I had to admit to the wife what had happened and she rolled her eyes and said that it's always the same when I try and fix something and I should just get someone in who knows what they're doing...
On Tuesday I had a day off and in the afternoon I had to fit a new power steering fluid reservoir to my car. The new one together with a litre of the correct fluid had arrived last weekend. The previous owner had filled the car with ATF instead of the correct fluid but to be fair the owners manual says ATF. They changed the system but didn't change the manual.
The old tank had blown up like a football over the last couple of years and was leaking badly. I drained the fluid and got the old tank off. The hoses were in good condition when I moved them to get the tank off. I had to move the coolant reservoir to thermostat one as well. On with the new tank and fill it up. It all looks good and I checked the levels yesterday and today at work.
Now when I arrived home today there was a funny noise coming from under the bonnet. Oh s
t. Let it cool a bit and up with the bonnet. A fine spray of fluid has coated one side of the engine bay but where the fk has it come from. Oh fk what's the puddle under the car? fk why is the coolant level so low? fk, fk, fk some incompetent halfwit hasn't put the coolant expansion hose back and it's rubbed against the drive belt. fk. fk. fk. It's pissed coolant all around the engine bay. bks.Possibly the worst part is when I had to admit to the wife what had happened and she rolled her eyes and said that it's always the same when I try and fix something and I should just get someone in who knows what they're doing...
Too many..
I did head gasket change on my mr2... I assembled everything... so I have thought when I went to start my car. and saw a smoke from somewhere. I began to stting a brick.
turned out I forgot to attach 2 earth wire to engine intake manifold... the smoke coming from my throttle cable... because it got hot as it was only earthed to car.
I did head gasket change on my mr2... I assembled everything... so I have thought when I went to start my car. and saw a smoke from somewhere. I began to s
tting a brick.turned out I forgot to attach 2 earth wire to engine intake manifold... the smoke coming from my throttle cable... because it got hot as it was only earthed to car.
williredale said:
Possibly the worst part is when I had to admit to the wife what had happened and she rolled her eyes and said that it's always the same when I try and fix something and I should just get someone in who knows what they're doing...
This is always the worst part, isn't it? 
Scimitars are friendly beasts, in that they like the company of someone poking about under their bonnets.
They are also prone to overheating, having tended to be prey to owners too tight to buy decent water pumps and/or have radiators re-cored from time-to-time. The health of a Scimitar is largely therefore determined by the timely functioning of the 'Otter' thermostatic switch which controls the electric fan and is a push fit into a rubber grommet in the offside tank of the radiator.
When the temperature gauge gets into the red and the fan light isn't on and you're in July London traffic it's therefore a good idea to stop and take a good look at the connections on this switch.
It's less of a good idea to give the thing a robust wiggle, however, because a) it's quite hot and will burn your fingers and b) should it come free of the grommet then the five or six litres of superheated water behind it will scald your fingers. And your arm. And most of the rest of you.
Another day, another Scimitar and time to fettle the tappets at the start of a Hillclimb season. Job done and road test. It remains a credit to Snap-On that I was four miles down the road before my precious 3/8 ratchet finally let go of the crank pulley bolt and hurled itself at the undertray.
They are also prone to overheating, having tended to be prey to owners too tight to buy decent water pumps and/or have radiators re-cored from time-to-time. The health of a Scimitar is largely therefore determined by the timely functioning of the 'Otter' thermostatic switch which controls the electric fan and is a push fit into a rubber grommet in the offside tank of the radiator.
When the temperature gauge gets into the red and the fan light isn't on and you're in July London traffic it's therefore a good idea to stop and take a good look at the connections on this switch.
It's less of a good idea to give the thing a robust wiggle, however, because a) it's quite hot and will burn your fingers and b) should it come free of the grommet then the five or six litres of superheated water behind it will scald your fingers. And your arm. And most of the rest of you.
Another day, another Scimitar and time to fettle the tappets at the start of a Hillclimb season. Job done and road test. It remains a credit to Snap-On that I was four miles down the road before my precious 3/8 ratchet finally let go of the crank pulley bolt and hurled itself at the undertray.
IroningMan said:
Scimitars are friendly beasts, in that they like the company of someone poking about under their bonnets.
They are also prone to overheating, having tended to be prey to owners too tight to buy decent water pumps and/or have radiators re-cored from time-to-time. The health of a Scimitar is largely therefore determined by the timely functioning of the 'Otter' thermostatic switch which controls the electric fan and is a push fit into a rubber grommet in the offside tank of the radiator.
When the temperature gauge gets into the red and the fan light isn't on and you're in July London traffic it's therefore a good idea to stop and take a good look at the connections on this switch.
It's less of a good idea to give the thing a robust wiggle, however, because a) it's quite hot and will burn your fingers and b) should it come free of the grommet then the five or six litres of superheated water behind it will scald your fingers. And your arm. And most of the rest of you.
Another day, another Scimitar and time to fettle the tappets at the start of a Hillclimb season. Job done and road test. It remains a credit to Snap-On that I was four miles down the road before my precious 3/8 ratchet finally let go of the crank pulley bolt and hurled itself at the undertray.
Excellent.They are also prone to overheating, having tended to be prey to owners too tight to buy decent water pumps and/or have radiators re-cored from time-to-time. The health of a Scimitar is largely therefore determined by the timely functioning of the 'Otter' thermostatic switch which controls the electric fan and is a push fit into a rubber grommet in the offside tank of the radiator.
When the temperature gauge gets into the red and the fan light isn't on and you're in July London traffic it's therefore a good idea to stop and take a good look at the connections on this switch.
It's less of a good idea to give the thing a robust wiggle, however, because a) it's quite hot and will burn your fingers and b) should it come free of the grommet then the five or six litres of superheated water behind it will scald your fingers. And your arm. And most of the rest of you.
Another day, another Scimitar and time to fettle the tappets at the start of a Hillclimb season. Job done and road test. It remains a credit to Snap-On that I was four miles down the road before my precious 3/8 ratchet finally let go of the crank pulley bolt and hurled itself at the undertray.
Rover v8 plagued with low oil pressure. I damaged the gasket while disassembling the pump so thought a tube of instant gasket would do as a replacement. It didn't. The gasket is required to provide clearance for the gears to turn. With them nipped up tight the oil pump drive on the bottom of the dizzy sheared off when I started the engine.
Securing my 2 door car for the night I used a wratchet strap. The door lock had broken so I tightened it between the two door pull handles nice and tight. Reached in through the window flicked the window switch to close, ducking out like Indiana Jones. I then locked the door from the key fob all smug.
As I was walking back to the house it suddenly occurred to me there was no way to get into the car again...
As I was walking back to the house it suddenly occurred to me there was no way to get into the car again...
Edited by msduk on Friday 16th August 01:19
A pal bought a Fiat Cinq Sporting with a seized engine. We went to the scrapyard and got another engine from a Punto, hauled the old one out and fitted it. It was only when I took the alternator off the old engine to put it on the new one that we discovered that the engine wasn't seized at all.
It was the alternator.
It was the alternator.
Had a friend once who not knowing too much about car mechanics, decided he was competent enough to carry out an oil change on his Vauxhall Astra. A few hours later, he'd finished draining it, replaced the filter and added the oil. Only now his car wouldn't start. Turned out he'd not read or knew how much oil to put in, so guessed that its full when its brimmed. he did exactly that, poured 5litres in, then thinking he couldn't see the level he went to the local motor factor round the corner to get another 5litres and continued to pour oil in till he brimmed it! LOL. Luckily no damage it seems was done and it was all drained out sharpish after he'd asked for help with it not starting.
I'm quite the novice at DIY spannering, but I do enjoy having a go on small jobs that I feel confident with.
One day, I decided to have a go at replacing the MAF on my Octavia (1.8T). Studied some guides on the Internet and felt confident that it should be a doddle.
I took this to mean 'Mole grips are preferable, but you can do it without'.
Well, after some swearing and bruised fingers, I'd just about gotten the clip off.
Could I get it back on? Of course not! Cue much more swearing and eventually I had to admit defeat, and popped down to halfords with now very sore fingers for a hose clip.
One day, I decided to have a go at replacing the MAF on my Octavia (1.8T). Studied some guides on the Internet and felt confident that it should be a doddle.
MAF Guide said:
5) Use a pair of latching mole grips to hold the circular clip open on the other side of the MAF to the air box - you need to pinch the 2 tabs together. The mole grips are good because you can leave the clip pinched and keep your hands free.
http://image.eurotuner.com/f/techarticles/18771348+w799+h499+cr1+ar0/eurp_0906_21_z%2Bproject_tdi%2Bmaf_sensor_clip.jpgI took this to mean 'Mole grips are preferable, but you can do it without'.
Well, after some swearing and bruised fingers, I'd just about gotten the clip off.
Could I get it back on? Of course not! Cue much more swearing and eventually I had to admit defeat, and popped down to halfords with now very sore fingers for a hose clip.
Edited by amusingduck on Friday 16th August 07:56
Mound Dawg said:
A pal bought a Fiat Cinq Sporting with a seized engine. We went to the scrapyard and got another engine from a Punto, hauled the old one out and fitted it. It was only when I took the alternator off the old engine to put it on the new one that we discovered that the engine wasn't seized at all.
It was the alternator.
Do you mean alternator or starter? Confused as to how an alternator would lead anyone to think the engine is siezed. It was the alternator.
Nope it was the alternator. There was enough drag on the belt to stop the engine turning. As soon as I flipped the belt off the engine turned over fine. Of course by then my pal had already taken the head off and left the car out in the rain with no bonnet on it for a few weeks so the original (and actually healthy) engine was scrap anyway.
In fairness the guy who sold it to my pal had called out the RAC who diagnosed a seized engine too...
In fairness the guy who sold it to my pal had called out the RAC who diagnosed a seized engine too...
Mound Dawg said:
Nope it was the alternator. There was enough drag on the belt to stop the engine turning. As soon as I flipped the belt off the engine turned over fine. Of course by then my pal had already taken the head off and left the car out in the rain with no bonnet on it for a few weeks so the original (and actually healthy) engine was scrap anyway.
In fairness the guy who sold it to my pal had called out the RAC who diagnosed a seized engine too...
It may have been a heat seize, engine locked up solid when hot, but once cooled down, will turn over.In fairness the guy who sold it to my pal had called out the RAC who diagnosed a seized engine too...
Edited by QuantumTokoloshi on Saturday 17th August 10:05
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