DIY Mechanics Fail Stories
Discussion
TriumphStag3.0V8 said:
In my hurry/embarrassment to get going I didn't close the bonnet properly. Main catch did not engage....... 1 mile up the road as we entered the NSL bonnet wrapped itself over the roof. Bent the bonnet, dented both quarter panels but surprisingly no damage to the roof, windscreen or wipers. Bonnet and underwear needed replacing.
I had a similar experience with an old mini, started a fairly long trip (150miles) in the middle of winter to see some relatives and 20 or so miles in it developed a bad misfire. Pulled over and checked the usual failure areas and discovered the points gap had closed up. Adjusted the gap (by eye) and pressed on. A few miles further the bonnet suddenly popped up a couple of inches and started banging up and down, held by the safety catch. I backed off ready to pull onto the hard shoulder (DCW) when the safety catch let go and the bonnet slammed up onto the windscreen, which fortunately didn't break. A few seconds of panic filled braking and I stopped without hitting anything, managed to bend the very mangled bonnet enough to close it and pressed on. About 10 miles later it started snowing pretty heavily, and it was at this point I discovered the bonnet had completely ruined the windscreen wipers. At that point I decided to turn back, driving with my head and shoulder leaning out of the window, freezing cold and soaked.Seeing the driveway oil spills reminded me about this years service on my Focus, I'd drained the oil, changed the sump plug washer and refitted it all without incident, moved the oil pan out of the way to get the filter off and completely forgot about the 1/2 a litre or so of oil the filter contains, unscrew, unscrew, unscr, oh s
t, oh fk where's the pan, where's.... on the other side of the car, that's where!!! It's surprising just how far around 1/2 a litre of oil goes, down my arm, my armpit, my neck, my chest.............Mrs Bobbers found it good fun stood there with a bottle of Fairy liquid and a green sourer trying to get the old oil off of me!!!! 
t, oh fk where's the pan, where's.... on the other side of the car, that's where!!! It's surprising just how far around 1/2 a litre of oil goes, down my arm, my armpit, my neck, my chest.............Mrs Bobbers found it good fun stood there with a bottle of Fairy liquid and a green sourer trying to get the old oil off of me!!!! Had an rally prepared Opel Kadett (a series) which felt a bit drifty even on tarmac. Thought I'd run it up a set of ramps and have a look underneath to see if I could see anything wrong. Trouble is, when I got it up on the ramps, I couldn't open the door to get out. Rolled it back off the ramps, door opened fine, back onto the ramps, door wouldn't open. After a couple of times trying and the same thing happening, I asked my Dad to have a look while I was in the car on the ramps. Turns out the whole car was so rotten that it was flexing at the bottom of the bulkhead when on the ramps. Only the doors were holding it roughly in one piece. If I'd managed to open the door while on the ramps, it probably would have snapped the car in two.
Changing a coil spring on a mk1 Golf (first coil sprung car I'd ever worked on). I didn't have spring compressors so jacked up the wishbone to compress it, used a handful of Jubilee clips to hold the spring in compression and took off the strut, When I took off the top of the strut, the spring suddenly made a bid for freedom, shrugged off its Jubilee clips and shot up , just past my nose, and on out straight through the corrugated garage roof 30 feet above. Glad it missed my face.
Changing a coil spring on a mk1 Golf (first coil sprung car I'd ever worked on). I didn't have spring compressors so jacked up the wishbone to compress it, used a handful of Jubilee clips to hold the spring in compression and took off the strut, When I took off the top of the strut, the spring suddenly made a bid for freedom, shrugged off its Jubilee clips and shot up , just past my nose, and on out straight through the corrugated garage roof 30 feet above. Glad it missed my face.
jumare said:
hooblah said:
eltax91 said:
And now I have a fked blockwork drive in my temporary rental house. fk
Just cover the rest of it in oil so it matches ked blockwork drive in my temporary rental house. fk
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lithofin-Wax-off-wax-remo...
Vanordinaire said:
Had an rally prepared Opel Kadett (a series) which felt a bit drifty even on tarmac. Thought I'd run it up a set of ramps and have a look underneath to see if I could see anything wrong. Trouble is, when I got it up on the ramps, I couldn't open the door to get out. Rolled it back off the ramps, door opened fine, back onto the ramps, door wouldn't open. After a couple of times trying and the same thing happening, I asked my Dad to have a look while I was in the car on the ramps. Turns out the whole car was so rotten that it was flexing at the bottom of the bulkhead when on the ramps. Only the doors were holding it roughly in one piece. If I'd managed to open the door while on the ramps, it probably would have snapped the car in two.
.
A buddy had a Triumph Herald convertible, doors wouldn't open (or shut properly) when people were in it. We just thought good job it's a convertible! .
PositronicRay said:
A buddy had a Triumph Herald convertible, doors wouldn't open (or shut properly) when people were in it. We just thought good job it's a convertible!
I remember my granddad's neighbour's Herald when I was a kid in the 70s. He used to take me fishing and also taught me to play golf. One day we set off to the trout reservoir and as he reversed out of the garage the front suspension collapsed to the ground. Apparently it was not uncommon with those.Fitting a new downdraught carb to my Mk1 Golf. All bolted on, cables all adjusted, check it over etc. ready to go. Get in, turn the key, turns over, but will not start. Fair enough needs to prime the float bowl etc. Keep trying, a few seconds later, a soft "Harrumph" sound, and huge flames all over the engine bay and next to the drivers door, sheeeeeeet!
Luckily, we had a large C02 fire extinguisher for the Oxy and welding set, jump out of the car, grab the extinguisher and start doing my best fireman Sam impersonation. It took a while to put out, as the flames were underneath the car, in the engine bay etc. Lots of the piping was damaged, wiring, plastic parts etc. I had not tightened the hose clamp on the new carb properly, so as the pressure built up, off it flew and started spraying fuel all over the engine bay, which ignited somewhere. Du-oh moment.
Luckily, we had a large C02 fire extinguisher for the Oxy and welding set, jump out of the car, grab the extinguisher and start doing my best fireman Sam impersonation. It took a while to put out, as the flames were underneath the car, in the engine bay etc. Lots of the piping was damaged, wiring, plastic parts etc. I had not tightened the hose clamp on the new carb properly, so as the pressure built up, off it flew and started spraying fuel all over the engine bay, which ignited somewhere. Du-oh moment.
Edited by QuantumTokoloshi on Tuesday 11th September 15:46
Not a car issue, and I haven't done it yet, but at least I've managed to find the issue with our boiler cutting out that the various heating engineers on repeated visits have not been able to find. A leak in the motorised valve is causing it to blow the boiler fuse due water in the electrical parts of the valve and actuator.
So I've bought a new valve unit and it should be simple: drain down the system, remove the old one and and fit the new one and rewire it as before. Problem is things have already started to go wrong, I've bought the wrong pipe size - 22mm instead of 28mm, so I know this is is cursed before I begin.
I'll let you know in a couple of days when I've trashed valve, pump boiler and pipes, electrocuted myself and flooded the house
So I've bought a new valve unit and it should be simple: drain down the system, remove the old one and and fit the new one and rewire it as before. Problem is things have already started to go wrong, I've bought the wrong pipe size - 22mm instead of 28mm, so I know this is is cursed before I begin.
I'll let you know in a couple of days when I've trashed valve, pump boiler and pipes, electrocuted myself and flooded the house
Gary C said:
not quite on topic as it was at work but
Our fuelling machine has a large grab with hooks that extend to lift the spent fuel out of the reactor. The grab is about 1.5 meters long and about 250mm in diameter. The body casing is in two halves and has a 2mm gap down each side.
On top is a box of accelerometers that measure any impacts to detect for faults, I was trying to work out why they kept failing and was meant to be watching the mech replace it. Being practical, I got involved and started to undo the nuts holding the pack inplace. Removed the last nut, but no washer ?
Maybe it never had one ?, Hum, whats that small round bit of metal wedged halfway down the grab body, just visible through the slit.
Arrgh !!!! WHY OH WHY, i could have just watched !!, sat there, bored but safe, but no I had to 'help'
Now, the reactor is at low power and is costing about £50K an hour to sit at this load waiting for us to repair the machine. So do I, pretend not to see it and carry on, no chance, if it jams the grab when connected to spent highly irradiated nuclear fuel, we would be shutdown for 12 months, do I come clean and tell engineering and get the grab stripped down (two days work and £2M in lost output) or, do I thread this handy nut locking wire through the slit to stop the washer falling any further, then thread another bit down with a hook on the end. All while dressed in contamination C2 overalls and marigold gloves (hence why i dropped it in the first place)
Well, i managed to hook it and pull it up until it was almost our, then it jammed, arrrgh again ! all i could do is give it a real yank and hope it was still on the end of the hook.
boy was i relived when i saw it was still attached.
Swore the mech to secrecy, fitted the new pack and completed the refuelling.
Lesson learnt, when at work, unless its your job, leave it to the fitters
That must have been tense! I’ve been lucky enough to get round all the AGRs and their fuelling machines as part of a project at work. Amazing bits of kit. Also quite scary how much money is lost (in terms of lost revenue) when a reactor trips. Our fuelling machine has a large grab with hooks that extend to lift the spent fuel out of the reactor. The grab is about 1.5 meters long and about 250mm in diameter. The body casing is in two halves and has a 2mm gap down each side.
On top is a box of accelerometers that measure any impacts to detect for faults, I was trying to work out why they kept failing and was meant to be watching the mech replace it. Being practical, I got involved and started to undo the nuts holding the pack inplace. Removed the last nut, but no washer ?
Maybe it never had one ?, Hum, whats that small round bit of metal wedged halfway down the grab body, just visible through the slit.
Arrgh !!!! WHY OH WHY, i could have just watched !!, sat there, bored but safe, but no I had to 'help'
Now, the reactor is at low power and is costing about £50K an hour to sit at this load waiting for us to repair the machine. So do I, pretend not to see it and carry on, no chance, if it jams the grab when connected to spent highly irradiated nuclear fuel, we would be shutdown for 12 months, do I come clean and tell engineering and get the grab stripped down (two days work and £2M in lost output) or, do I thread this handy nut locking wire through the slit to stop the washer falling any further, then thread another bit down with a hook on the end. All while dressed in contamination C2 overalls and marigold gloves (hence why i dropped it in the first place)
Well, i managed to hook it and pull it up until it was almost our, then it jammed, arrrgh again ! all i could do is give it a real yank and hope it was still on the end of the hook.
boy was i relived when i saw it was still attached.
Swore the mech to secrecy, fitted the new pack and completed the refuelling.
Lesson learnt, when at work, unless its your job, leave it to the fitters
Edited by Gary C on Monday 10th September 19:54
Had a good chuckle reading back over the thread, I've done the forgetting to tighten wheel nuts and putting a brake pad in the wrong way thing myself, they're mistakes you only make once I find!
There was the time I swapped a cvh in a Sierra for a Cologne V6, I spent days trying to figure out why it would run beautifully until you gave it some throttle up the road at which point it would splutter and die, it would have helped if I'd put the fuel pipes on the carb the right way around....
....Also, the above V6 had sat for a while before I fitted it which, unbeknownst to me until I started it, had bent the sump inwards so the crank was hitting the baffles and making some interesting noises. Rather than raise the engine, remove the sump, straighten it out and refit I made a little bracket that got stuck to the sump with the strongest glue I could find and I pulled it out with a grips.
The first time me and a mate fitted a set of coilovers we couldn't figure out why the anti roll bar links didn't seem to line up properly, then we noticed the very small 'L' and 'R' stamped into the coilovers....
.....Upon removal of said coilovers I may have undone the top nut on the first one before winding the spring down to release the tension, this resulted in the coilover being fired from the car with an absolutely immense amount of force smashing a chunk out of the driveway, two inches from my foot.
Then there was the time I had my old e39 all packed up ready to go away on hols and the wipers packed up, and it was pissing down...
I then spent over an hour trying to remove the wipers and various bits of plastic on the bulkhead and scuttle panel to find that the linkage had popped out under the passenger side pollen filter, it took me 30 seconds to unclip the filter box and pop the linkage back in, then I had to spend nearly an hour putting parts of car back on that never actually had to be removed.
One of my more recent fails is struggling with a clutch change on the Mondeo for many days on the driveway only to have it refuse to start when all back together, it took a few hours of faffing around (which included stripping and cleaning the starter motor) to find that the earth strap on the gearbox that I thought I'd tightened was in fact finger tight.
I recently changed the water pump on the same car too, it leaked on re-assembly so I stripped it all back off to check the (new) gasket which was fine so stuck it all back together with a bit of extra sealant to be on the safe side to find that on my second go at fitting the new pump it still bloody leaked!
When I looked more closely I could then see that the leak wasn't coming from the main engine/pump gasket but a small o-ring on the side of the pump that had got pinched on fitting, no problem I thought, I'll stick the old o-ring back in, it didn't leak before! Except that the old o-ring had got thrown into a very full wheelie bin and I then had to fish it out...
Edited by njw1 on Tuesday 11th September 17:39
Mignon said:
I remember my granddad's neighbour's Herald when I was a kid in the 70s. He used to take me fishing and also taught me to play golf. One day we set off to the trout reservoir and as he reversed out of the garage the front suspension collapsed to the ground. Apparently it was not uncommon with those.
The perils of worn trunnions. I had similar symptoms when the upper ball joint sheared off on my first car. I spent a hundred miles or so trying to figure out why the handling was so weird (effectively only one side was actually steering but everything looked OK). Eventually the question answered itself when I needed to reverse a short distance and the front suspension promptly collapsed.GreenV8S said:
The perils of worn trunnions. I had similar symptoms when the upper ball joint sheared off on my first car. I spent a hundred miles or so trying to figure out why the handling was so weird (effectively only one side was actually steering but everything looked OK). Eventually the question answered itself when I needed to reverse a short distance and the front suspension promptly collapsed.
Trunnions, which pit of hell were they invented !Somebody must have thought 'let's ensure that the forces are spread unevenly as possible to ensure the highest wear'
Does remind me when I was an apprentice, a fellow turned rapidly in his herald, into the entrance of drakelow training centre, trouble is, the engine went straight on..
I've just remembered driving home one Monday morning tired and hungover after a very heavy weekend away and having a puncture, all I wanted to do was get the spare on and get on my way and I then I found the spare wheel didn't fit.
At the time I had a 330d and my mate had a 316ti, he'd borrowed my spare one day and I told him to keep it and get me another spare, all good, except he'd got me a spare for a four cylinder car which didn't even fit over the rear brakes on my six cylinder car.
I eventually got mobile again after carrying and rolling my flat tyre a mile and half or so each way to the nearest tyre garage to get another tyre fitted. The first thing I did when I got home was tell my mate to give me my f'kin spare back!!
At the time I had a 330d and my mate had a 316ti, he'd borrowed my spare one day and I told him to keep it and get me another spare, all good, except he'd got me a spare for a four cylinder car which didn't even fit over the rear brakes on my six cylinder car.
I eventually got mobile again after carrying and rolling my flat tyre a mile and half or so each way to the nearest tyre garage to get another tyre fitted. The first thing I did when I got home was tell my mate to give me my f'kin spare back!!
Vanordinaire said:
Had an rally prepared Opel Kadett (a series) which felt a bit drifty even on tarmac. Thought I'd run it up a set of ramps and have a look underneath to see if I could see anything wrong. Trouble is, when I got it up on the ramps, I couldn't open the door to get out. Rolled it back off the ramps, door opened fine, back onto the ramps, door wouldn't open. After a couple of times trying and the same thing happening, I asked my Dad to have a look while I was in the car on the ramps. Turns out the whole car was so rotten that it was flexing at the bottom of the bulkhead when on the ramps. Only the doors were holding it roughly in one piece. If I'd managed to open the door while on the ramps, it probably would have snapped the car in two.
I don't understand this one. Were the ramps not the same height or something? Silver Smudger said:
Vanordinaire said:
Had an rally prepared Opel Kadett (a series) which felt a bit drifty even on tarmac. Thought I'd run it up a set of ramps and have a look underneath to see if I could see anything wrong. Trouble is, when I got it up on the ramps, I couldn't open the door to get out. Rolled it back off the ramps, door opened fine, back onto the ramps, door wouldn't open. After a couple of times trying and the same thing happening, I asked my Dad to have a look while I was in the car on the ramps. Turns out the whole car was so rotten that it was flexing at the bottom of the bulkhead when on the ramps. Only the doors were holding it roughly in one piece. If I'd managed to open the door while on the ramps, it probably would have snapped the car in two.
I don't understand this one. Were the ramps not the same height or something? Gary C said:
GreenV8S said:
The perils of worn trunnions. I had similar symptoms when the upper ball joint sheared off on my first car. I spent a hundred miles or so trying to figure out why the handling was so weird (effectively only one side was actually steering but everything looked OK). Eventually the question answered itself when I needed to reverse a short distance and the front suspension promptly collapsed.
Trunnions, which pit of hell were they invented !Somebody must have thought 'let's ensure that the forces are spread unevenly as possible to ensure the highest wear'
Does remind me when I was an apprentice, a fellow turned rapidly in his herald, into the entrance of drakelow training centre, trouble is, the engine went straight on..
Fortunately the failure was usually at low speed while manoeuvring.
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